behold, today

As I conjured my likely plans for 2008 and weighed through the opportunity costs of holding a part time job, I decided to stick with it. Dearie is right, it’s hard to find a boss as flexible as walter and I’m thankful for it. No doubt I do find the work getting a little mundane but as I really want to earn that extra, so I have to hang on. As I see dearie working so hard with his free lance projects, I find a need to keep up as well. We share the burden of building our family together. It’s a shared responsibility. And a burden halved definitely eases out stress on just one. Hence, I’ll continue to work at rl for 2008, until I really tak boleh tahan.

The recent drowning of Singaporean dragonboaters is really heart wrenching. It reminded me..

- how I used to love kayaking in the sea. Being in the ocean made me feel small, I found solitary in its majestic vastness. Nonetheless, in its greatness, lives had been and are constantly being engulfed.
- How I almost drowned the first time I swam in the open water during a sprint race. I hyperventilated and fear paralysed me. I tried to imagine how the dragonboaters could have been caught by shock of the sudden capsize. They were washed by the current underneath the pontoon after a sudden wave caused them to hit it. Under currents can be really strong, even if the water surface seems calm. Without gasping a breath before capsize would mean an even smaller chance of survival. Imagine hyperventilating from fear and not being able to reach out for air because a pontoon was on top of them. Water fills their lungs and the cause of death – drowning.
- Life and its frailty. Treasure your loved ones now. Say how much you love them today. Do not wait till tomorrow. for you won’t know what beholds tomorrow.

creamy oats

+

how i told you guys how yummy when you marry both of these together? slurpo!

rainbow after the rain

I was hopeful though I kept repeating to myself that there was much a possibility I might not get through. Rejection hit me hard in the face and it felt like a stumble on a trail run. Dearie stretched out his arms and cradled me. In those arms there was comfort and strength. He’s probably an angel sent by God =)

And so, no mba for me as the university commented i lacked the relevant working experience. For a moment, I regretted detouring into social work for the 2 years 8 months. However, in retrospection, if I hadn’t got into social work, I won’t have known Christin, a friend whom I hold close to my heart. And most of all, I won’t have known dearie, as I could not have gone into triathlons and racing if I had opted to stay in the finance line from the start. Indeed, God let things happen for a reason; and for every decision we make, there’s a consequence we have to bear.

Perhaps the rejection is a blessing in disguise. Dearie and I are very interested to do a marathon in Australia..or perhaps an ironman; although swimming in the open sea isn’t something I looked forward to.

It’s alright I tell myself, there are other things to pursue in place of the mba. Meantime, I reckon gathering relevant experience is the top of the list priority. To do well in my job, to get a good appraisal and most importantly, to yield a good BONUS! (a pay raise would be good-to-have).

The monotony of work at RL is gradually setting in. It gets pretty mundane at times. The only thing that keeps me going on is the money. What a carnal cause. Dearie asked me to consider dropping the job come 2008 but the extra monthly allowance which I can save is something I can’t bear to give up.

Assuming I earn $400 from it per month. That’s equivalent to $400/$7.50 = 53.33hrs. Per day i work from 11am to 8.30pm that’ll be 8.5hrs (minus 1hr break). Per weekend (2days) I’ll clock 17hrs. 53.33hrs/17hrs that’ll mean I need to work 3 out of the usual 4-5weekends per month.

Working at rl has greater opportunity costs these days, especially when I have to drag myself more often. Sometimes dearie would stay around to keep me company. Having him around alleviates my spirit.

Albeit gray clouds harrowing my skies, I know there’ll be a rainbow after the rain. And in the rain, I know dearie will be holding the umbrella to shelter me through it. =)

dentist says..

saw the dentist yesterday and she said i haven't been brushing my teeth properly (that's why all the decays) and she wants me floss my teeth everyday.

dentist: do you floss your teeth?

me: sometimes..erm..only when something gets stuck.

dentist: i want you to start flossing e-very-day.

me: gulps. o.k.

- me thinks. haha. i'm still with the same box of floss for the past 3-4years. now that explains how often i floss- sniggles-

lesson on trust

I learnt a valuable lesson on trust. IN had once forewarned me to be careful of my words and what I divulge to my fellow colleagues. During the week, she had gotten a hard hit by some because of a slip. It was really painful as she had so little time to react to the entire matter. It was really unfair as she was not totally at fault, cornered by two with a big tag of “urgent”, she was somewhat hard pressed. As I shared with dearie, indeed there is no one to trust at work, I can cajole around at surface but I must be careful not to go too much into my own life. I won’t know when the entire office would know of it. Some things would spread like bon fire and you’ll soon have people talking behind your back. There are only 3 persons in my life I trust with all my heart – dearie, mummy and christin. These are my confidantes whom I can share my inner most, whine my hearts out and still know they will always be by my side.

scent of a prince

And another “first time”, I bought dearie a bottle of perfume too! I first smelled it on the Men’s Health magazine Sham brought to RL. I thought it’s a refreshing scent for men, without that huskiness most men’s perfume has. I hope he likes it and would use it.

Dearie gave me a gift in return too. When I landed at changi airport yesterday, I was received with the warmest hug I’ve had in many days. Seeing him was the best gift and having the rest of the day to relax together just made it all complete. =)

scent of a princess

First time in my life, I bought a bottle of perfume for myself. Have always thought perfumes are too much a luxurious item for me to afford; usually I’ll just use my mum’s or pick up sample vials from her. I have received perfumes for present a few times, at 26 years of age, this is the first time I wanted to pamper myself with one. I thought I probably won’t have many chances to travel, so I better buy one since I’m back from a trip.

I simply love the sweet smell, pink box and glitters in the perfume. I feel like a princess with it! Haha! It does smell a lot sweeter because I bought it with my own hard earned money. Sweet scent of achievement.

sunroof experience

I’ll be traveling to Balikpapan to meet up with leadertread’s bosses and PTCP people next week. Personally it’s like a sunroof in my job scope which is allowing me to pop my head up to look what is going on. I really appreciate the opportunity and though I’ll miss my dearie for those few days, it’s heartening how dearie is fully supportive of it. My mum is happy to hear that I’ll be getting a chance to travel on job as well, reminding me not to bring a backpack as it’s too “un-exec”. My only grouse of the “wheel-around-bag” is its lack in capacity. I might just end up with a backpack anyway, in case my mum can’t find me a wheely bag.

From what I’ve gathered so far, Balikpapan sounds like a boring town; people who would visit the place are usually there for business. Things are more expensive than Jakarta as it caters a lot to wealthy businessmen who don’t mind paying more and won’t bother to haggle with prices. I’m unsure how much rupiah (not rupees, dearie corrected me on this as he told me I’m going Indonesia not India =P) to prepare as I don’t want to be stuck with too much rupiah unspent at the end of the trip. I’ll just be getting the peanut snack for my mummy and the layered cake for dearie. Would S$50 (Rup315,000) be sufficient?

I’ll go off on Monday morning and back on Wednesday afternoon. It’s a short trip and a good break from normal work routine.

I find myself running stronger these days; despite all the soreness and pain I’ve experienced through days of hard training, it’s all paying off in many ways more than one. I’m still a lot slower than dearie, but I hope to narrow the gap gradually.

This week’s training is jam packed and I hope the rain won’t spoil our plans. I think most people into sports hate rain.. unless I’m on the lazy day off slacking at home, perhaps then, rain would be ideal. Meantime, rain rain, go away!

rich tai tai splurge

either one of these of be something i'll splurge on if my dad owns a gold mine.

4gb? no way! it has to be the 8gb one! =P

but honestly, i just need a reliable player to run with. =)

shuffle in red

dearie says shuffle is gd because there's no display to complicate things. i like the one in red!

if i get a good performance bonus in apr 08, i'll buy one for myself! =D

creative, sucks.

this little guy has failed me miserably.

no more CREATIVE mp3s for me. i think a cheapo china/taiwan oem made would probably be better than this.

now i've got to find time to head down to the service counter at marina to get this idiot thing fixed. ARGH!

mind over matter

Mind over matter. I believe in this so much I kept telling myself pain on my back didn’t exist as I ran on. With each step that landed, I felt the pain on my back. I nearly teared because for a second I felt it was too much to bear. I could have threw in the towel and stopped but I just wanted to complete what I started. I’ve ended too many things in my life prematurely that caused so much regrets; I don’t want to fail myself one more time over again.

I pushed through the 35km in 4 hours; not an impressive time to boast but I’m just glad I completed it - most importantly, I did not concede to surrender.

The Nathan pouch came in real handy (although it left a lot of scruffs on my NEW sugoi running top which I am still heart broken about), as by tightening it to add pressure on my back, relieved the pain.

Seeing dearie turn back towards me was like seeing an angel from heaven. He ran with me for a good stretch and having him beside me made more determined to finish the run.

I ate really a lot for yesterday, and I’m starting today afresh. No more junk for the next few days until I go to Malaysia. Got to do more training along the week before I pig out too!

Still want to go for tomorrow’s velocity run and I’ll definitely be much slower. Maybe I can run with the ladies and just enjoy a nice chit chat along the way. No slacking for training as SCSM is fast approaching. With the 35km under my belt, I’m pretty confident of braving through scsm and ultra. The trail training also helped a lot in terms of preparing dearie and I for trailblazers.

I’ve decided to sacrifice the phoenix for the trailblazers. It has really served me well and I feel the best way to honour it is to let it “die in battlefield”. That was how my rider ended its walk with me last year. I ran the trailblazers and I buried it in the pile at genting. That’s a much better fate than the inspire which got tossed down the chute by dearie because it became too painful to run in.

Did I mention the north face shoes gave me 2 huge blisters. Ouch ouch ouch. I was cursing and swearing over the shoes over the 4hrs run yesterday. It was either the shoes or the injinji socks. Argh! Worse than wearing heels!

Really looking forward for Thursday to come. There’s so much awaiting. Popiah, chin siew noodles, genting climbing, trailblazers, KL yong tou foo and SHOPPING! I’m planning for some light circuit training during my holiday in Malaysia. Eat must burn off! Holiday here WE COME!!!