inertia

Finding the inertia to start studying again is challenging. Reading text, attempting questions and jotting notes; this needs getting used to.

I hope it will end up useful. The topic I am doing now is Ethics- a pretty dry boring topic and I am finding it tough to see the relevance as I am not working as an analyst.

I must get through this by today and start on Quant tomorrow.

Registered and no regrets

I have finally registered after a long while of deliberation. Dearie gave me the assurance and support to go full force for it. I can still remember how he had to keep me company when I was doing my studies through MAF and Financial Market Cert.

No turning back now..I took nearly an hour just to get the registration up.

I only have 4 months left before exam.

I am not proving anything to anyone. I just want to test how far I can go. And like dearie said, I won't know till I try.

And yes, I am going to try.

Life is too short to look back and wish we have done certain things but did not get around it due to procrastination.

Even if I don't make it through, at least I can say I have tried. =) That's all I am trying to do. No regrets.

time

Realised there is so much I want to do but so little time. So many things seem so interesting but it takes time to learn. It back to how we manage our time - giving up things which are less important. It is hard, isn't it? =(

after 5 months

this blog has been dysfunctional for quite a while now. 2 friends reminded me that they followed my blog. Dearie told me my blog entries with mention of him, always make his day.

I think as I grow older, there seems lesser need to "externalise" what I think and feel. Alot of my thoughts and feelings are either "internalised" or I will simply text them to dearie. He gets the brunt of all my frustrations and complaints and of course, the first I will share my joy with.

And I think there are alot of ways to shrug off stress and dissatisfaction; blowing off your top and blarring out at those around you seems the most uncool thing to do. It is immature to pass needless comments - it only exposes your lack of depth. I think playing the piano is a good way to divert attention onto something less intellectual. I think running is a good way to help dissipate some of the negative energy.

It seems that I have stopped updating the books on my read list. I think I managed to cover quite a number of books and I'm pretty proud of that. I think one of the best ways to find out about things is to read on it. Find diverse opinion on a subject matter, before you draw your conclusion on it.

I have been reading quite a few books on Lee Kuan Yew recently. Apart from knowing him as one of Singapore's founding fathers and reading generally unkind comments of him on the internet, I have not known much about him.After reading a couple of books and having watched the interviews with him, I am full of respect. I am still intrigued with how this great man is wired, hence having finished another book on him today, I have another 2 more books lined up next. I am dreaming if it will ever be possible to meet him in person. Just to shake his hand and tell him I admire his grit and express thanks for how he has built Singapore.

the question of time and tide again

 i haven't been updating this much. quick look at what i've read recently. finished this chinese book this morning. light hearted book. i'm not too sure what i should read next.. Narnia? I downloaded the entire series of the chronicles of narnia for a while now..but isn't enticing to make me start on them.

interesting things that has happened worth the mention. i went to climb mt lambak with dearie and his colleagues. it was lots of fun..i'm envious he has such fun colleagues who are alot more enthusiastic about activities beyond work. i collected my bronze medal for blood donation. hope to be able to continue to contribute in such small ways in the future. we had taishoken ramen at ramen champion.. something i have been wanting to try..and finally got the chance to!

we will be heading off to taiwan in another 3 weeks. wow..i am so looking forward to a break from work. the days post-apr have seemed to slow down into a crawl. Opportunities to learn seem to have vanished overnight. Indeed, as dearie correctly pointed out, life does not always go the way we want them to. I am still getting paid, no doubt. but I guess I’ll be actively looking for means to develop myself, by my own effort. Time and tide waits for no man. I’m not going to just sit here and get swept off my tide, or grow too weary to move with the passing of time.

curry and cycle

remember this bowl of japanese curry i made for dearie? seems eons away. attempting to recreate that yummy bowl of curry for dinner today again. keeping my fingers crossed that it will taste as good, if not better.

there's been alot of debate about cyclists' "status" on the road. though i doubt a lane on the roads for us will be possible, i guess it helps if the general driving community exercise some graciousness to cyclists.

while i will like to think the accidents were not specifically targeted at cyclists. it is just the impatience, and perhaps some selfishness, of the driver that could have taken over the better of them. i have been a victim of bike accidents and i testify. some drivers simply think that we are slow on our bikes and should not be on the road. when the accidents occur, they would give that "what are you doing on the road" face.

it'll take not just a bike lane to make the roads safer for cyclists. it will take something radical...like how english was introduced into our education system decades ago.

atonement after dark

another great read. though i have not read many of haruki murakami's works but i thought after dark is one of those more comprehensible reads.

murakami, in the likes of ishiguro, has this twisted way of writing.

going back to something more mainstream. next book is atonement. haven't got to watch the movie yet, thought i may start with the book first.

haven't got many good books to read these days. i'm bored. should i start reading the narnia series in my kindle?

anyone has any good recommendation?

one after another

 after chasing daylight, i went back to my e-books and the first one i embarked on was bailout nation. i didn't quite get through the entire book. i was bored by it, honestly. so i skipped off to book thief half way.

 this book left me baffled. lost! after a few pages, i merrily skipped off to after dark.

i thought this was a simpler book to read compared to book thief. maybe i will revisit book thief when i am more awake.

happy me

though my birthday is still a couple days away, i've received 3 marvellous gifts from my loved ones.

dearie got me a watch and these!..the newest asics ds trainers...in yellow! (why aren't they in pink?)

mummy got me a new wallet..in red! (the closest we could get to pink)

i'm thankful for the love and the gifts of course! so when is my bday treat to taishoken? hoho!

chasing

Chasing daylight. It's one of those must-read books, which i think presents simple logic - learning to give thanks, to slow down to smell the flowers..which i think in our busy-ness, we have so little time to do.

get me there!

ooh starting on new book later this evening! it's an autographed copy by marshall goldsmith..wow!

feels like some generalised book but i guess 200+ pages isn't that bad. whatsmore, it's a paperback!

after this, i've got another book on my shelf and then i'll head back to my kindle..neglected it for too long.

crisis economics

i notice i lack patience these days. i gave up on the this time is different book. found most of the content beyond me and decided not to waste my time trying to decipher the code.

onto the next book, crisis economics, which i thought had contents alot like this time is different. this book is alot more palatable and written more for layman like me.

talk about difference

i got to the half way mark of the tiger's wife and i gave up. i cannot stand the haphazard way of writing; maybe it's beyond my mediocre literary standard. if japanese writers are dancing freestyle, this lady must be in a brownian motion macarena. trying to make something out of it is exhausting, so i moved on to my next book, this time is different. a quick flip through the 400 pages shows tables after table of statistics. not the kind of book i am particularly drawn to but i think maybe it'll be a good test to whether i'll be cut out to do some postgrad economics!

i've got 2 more books on my workstation which look far more interesting but i think i'll bite the bitter pill and start with the one which is most unappealing.

i am pretty happy i've got most of my mummy's corporate stuff done - annual filing, check. tax, check. final thing on my list is to catch up with 3 months of accounts and setting up a proper system to capture information for gst.

frustrated i didn't get to run last evening AND this morning due to rain. i MUST run tonight!!

friday high and books as usual

i found the lky book really good; it's my first lky book though i bought one of his earlier books which i never got around reading it.

my view on lky still stands, if not more rooted now; he is definitely a man with foresight and boldness during the singapore's tumultuous formation years. he was like a doctor feeding the nation with the bitter pill of bilingualism. i can almost imagine how the deep rooted chinese must have dispelled his drive to make english first language for all school going students. i can vaguely remember the redifussion days, i was borned in the years when the government pushed for more use of chinese and lesser of dialects (remembered the speak chinese campaigns).

i think singapore has come a long way though we are not even close to half a century old. the development we have made is commendable, yet would not have been possible without the sacrifices made by those who were caught in the transition.

in contrast to today, i think we have somewhat come to a plateau with the people becoming fairly complacent. i read and hear more complaints than real efforts made to adapt and change. these are the days when children are no longer disciplined by the cane and must be "reformed" by tender loving care. i grew up being caned for being mischievous, which i personally think it did me more good than harm. i laugh to the past when my bro and i used to hide the canes and wrapped ourselves in blankets so that it didn't hurt as much when my parents caned us.

back to the lky book, it gave me glimpses of the many challenges of running a country. for all those who incessantly pass repulsive remarks on the government, please step forward and try it for yourself. even as employees, we will feel discouraged if our colleagues snide at our work, why are you doing it to our country's leaders? it is always easy to point fingers and blame, but few dare to step forward and lead.

my next book is the tiger's wife. it was an unexpected find as i was in np's library passing time and decided to see if i can find this book on its shelves. to my surprise, it was there waiting for me. i've read about 30 pages of it and i am a little "lost" with the writing. i am not really getting how come people gave reviews which raved about it. maybe i am not up to that kind of literary level yet. nevertheless, i will try to finish it before i conclude.

i was at np to support dearie's runners' relay event. it was just a fantastic way to end the work week, with ECE coming in FIRST for the staff event. i thought all the runners in his team were dressed all unassumingly - white FBT singlets with loosely fitted shorts, yet proved it's about the legs not the outfit. i am super proud of how dearie came in way ahead of all the staff runners, he was about 100m ahead of the next runner when he came back. i could see he was pushing hard as he ran up that last hill and sprinted down the track. he's my superboy! zoom zoom!

it was a fabulous team effort and it proves that hard work does pay off. all the weeks of training helped some get into better running form to take on this run. winning was just the pinnacle of it all. i'm glad i can be a part of it and running with the ladies was fun! i was thinking why haven't i got more colleagues who can run like them!

dearie told me about the trekking trip his colleagues are discussing to organise. to me it's like WOW.. trekking for a department event.. this will NEVER happen in my department. i'm just going to be the usual thick skinned tricia and tag along dearie's department. hoho!
 

post war gore

the 2 nanking books i have read presented views from 2 ends of a line. while the 2nd one started introducing itself as trying to find a neutral grounds between extremes, i tend to find the views presented somewhat skewed. i am mildly irritated by the way the author tried to brush the atrocities off as acts that are prevalent during war.

in the first place, the war was started at will. No one pushed Japan to wage a war with its neighbours.

The author felt some of the verdicts passed at the trial post-war was unfair. He tried to reason that some officers did slaughter some Chinese, but the numbers they were convicted of were inaccurate. I thought it sounded like a child stealing half a bowl of rice off the table. When disciplined by the parent on the theft of a bowl of rice, argued how it's just half a bowl and not a full bowl. Theft is still theft.

Anyway, that's history now and it's a lesson that we all should learn from - war never pays. Everyone lose in a war.

I have started on the LKY book this morning. I guess it'll be a good change after all the war gore.

nanking 2

i am onto my 2nd book on the history of nanking. i found iris chang's book exceptionally insightful.

this nanking book is written by a japanese. in the introduction of the book, he states that iris chang comes from a traditionalist point of view (while trying to make a point that he has read from both extreme perspectives and he felt he has come to a point of neutrality?) anyway, before i start sounding that i have drawn a conclusion on this book i better stop here; i am barely a tenth done with it.

i should be done with this book by next week and perhaps be in a better position to say if i agree with its contents.

3 more books in line.. not forgetting 2 e-books too. i seem to be still drawn to the nanking history. let me see if i can get my hands on another book from np library. which perhaps will need to be last on this queue!

feeling alive and what matters

i have been running consecutively for 3 days. nothing to be boastful of because all 3 were just 8-9km runs. my legs are aching now but i'm not complaining. running makes me feel alive. i scroll through photos of people running the gold coast marathon which took place this morning. i'm sure all of them felt as alive as i did. i think it's a gift to be able to run, with no pain of course. i want to be able to keep running and not have to count the miles (because there's too little to begin with). am i bend on getting faster? maybe lesser of that these days. i think i just want to move my legs, perspire, pant and ache.

i thought about my bikes collecting that thick layer of dust on the rack. i ought to do something about it. bring them out for a ride. i reminisced the former days when i would go out for 4 hours bike ride. riding alone down neo tiew in the morning. and of those days when i joined the riding group and how we did the crazy rides from yishun to changi and back. wow, those feel like distant past. will i do that again? i'm not sure. but i won't mind a leisure ride out some days.

there seems like a million things we want to do everyday. so many books to read. so many scores i want to try out on the piano. runs i want to do. work i want to improve (too!). we make those choices of how we want to spend our time. on what matters more to us.

anyone still reading this?

i have neglected this blog while i was busy preparing for the exam which took place on 23 june. the preparation process felt really long. swapping story books for notes was difficult. having the discipline to sit down every night and study for an hour didn't come easy. all well worth the effort when i received the email notification that i passed.

i'm almost done with what i set out to do this year. while running yesterday night, i began to wonder what to do next year. what other skill set do i want to hone? what other knowledge do i want to acquire?

and so, the first book i have finished reading after the exam was barings lost. barings and nick leeson are somewhat history but this case awakened the whole concept of rouge trading. much of it fuelled by greed; people blinded by the mere pursuit of profits, which coincidentally (or uncoincidentally) is correlated with risk. professionally you call them traders but in truth, they are nothing more than gamblers. do you believe jp morgan's recent loss arose merely from hedging transactions? i can smell the whiff of speculation in it like durian in a room.

let's see. time to get on some work for mummy. next book up is the rape of nanking. i'm always kept busy!

do or die

prepping myself for a tough week ahead. 3.5days of course. will have to travel back to work on 3 our of the 3.5 days. tuesday i'll have to rush down to smu for the revision class.

the week is going to be an exceptionally long one, making the weekend something really worth looking forward to.

we gotten a new luggage bag for the upcoming trips. 2nd half of the year is definitely going to be alot more exciting with all the trips lined up. with dearie doing all the planning, i'm just going to lie back and relax. =)

back to studies. i'm trying to give my do-or-die effort. i'm not even going to give retaking a chance, nor am i going to be ill prepared to give certainty to failure. i'm going to pass this and on the first attempt.
you can do it, tricia! to think i'm giving up all my other books for now..just to read my notes.. i have 5 books - 3 on my desk at home, 2 in the office, lined up to be read and i'm telling them "wait". i HAVE to pass!

the lost daughter of happiness

the flowers of war film deviates quite a fair bit from the book. i thought the writing lacked depth. maybe lost in translation?

i won my side of the bet with dearie. i finished the book this morning, in 2 days. =)

i'm starting on this next book by yan geling, tomorrow. hopefully this will be better than flowers of war.

i wonder if dearie will want to take a bet again with me? 2 days for this too?

after this fiction book i'll probably go for the history books written on nanking. non-fiction books may just be a better read?