woke up with a sore throat and runny nose. took a day off. the whole camp botch up is leaving me really peeved. everything is about image..image..image.. well, easy for u guys to just question about why cancelling, why not running..and then do an abrupt decision that we'll run with no minimum.. easier said than done. well, if you want to truly lead, then why don't you guys spearhead it rather than kick us on the boot and make us do something we don't believe in.
i'm utterly disgusted and peeved.
this friday is break free day. like it or not, i'm only giving myself till friday. it's been drafted. and it'll be promptly printed and submitted. it's my turn to make my move after christin. i wish she could do it with me too..but i'm aware of her concerns and reservations. she's made the initial move to tell nel about her decision to move on and it hasn't done her good in any ways at all. i wonder what i'll do in her shoes.. instead of constantly having to entertain his insensitive questioning on the response from mcys, from a rash point of view, tender la! walk out of this mambo-jumbo for good. far too much bad energy..it's gnawing on us. but of course, every decision entails far more implications..so though i would really want to just tender if and get over with it, there are consequences i must be ready to face up towards. sigh. if only life is simpler right?
spent the morning clearing my room a little. wiped off dust from the fixtures..threw a number of things here and there. prior to this last week, i was also clearing my workstation. i'm gearing myself to move off..i don't want to move a box of personal items on the last day, hence the stance of packing them all into a bag and gradually bringing an item or two back.
marathon's this sunday. i'm totally not ready for it. i would choose to not do it..but since paid for, maybe i'll just suffer through the 6 hours. again not something called for. heh.
every part of me feel sore. maybe it stems from my mind. i'm just feeling totally sore with life.
i wish i had a car now. drive up somewhere. to the mountains. to the seaside. go into recluse. drive down a long winding, never ending high way. let's not care where it leads too. just move, ahead.
run. i need to go for a run to get an endorphine-shot.
when life beckons, we can't run away from it.
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