no options

i hate the weather; it is making me miss all my runs. argh.

missed yesterday's run. missed this morning's run. so the plan is to run tonight. sleep early and pack another run tomorrow morning perhaps?

haven't got to do my jian shen cao too. but at least this week i am waking and leaving for work earlier. i still need to inch in by another 10mins more on non-running days. my discipline to wake up for runs is still prone to waver. i seem pretty 'deaf' to my run alarms. so, the remedy is to set another morning run alarm 15mins after the first. that leaves me with no excuse to be deaf!

progress at work is still slow. bored much of the time. one manager said they are giving me time to warm up. but i don't want to become a bench warmer =(

i conjured ideas of some noon workouts. i can't do my jian shen cao at my desk though. what choices do i have? we don't have shower facilities either. unless i join a gym. but i don't want to pay for one. so that leaves me with no options except to run in the morning or evening.

then i had ideas of home cooked packed lunch. but what can i cook? something i can cook overnight and just tapao to work? can't think of anything at this point. again, no options.

i managed to play the piano last night but i sounded dreadful. i should (how do i make this a must?) practise more.

there must be something i can do about these! someone help me think of something!

first week review

I was intending to do a first week review on the new job but wondered if it’s a little too early to be reviewing anything. And so I penned words while feeling lost during the first few days of the first week. I shall not publish them as they do seem really immatured.

The advice is I need to give myself more time. It reminded me of the similar helpless feeling during last year. Many things were new then too. Only this time around, it a lot different in terms of organization size, hierarchy, systems and scope.

And so, I am still adjusting. It was heartening during orientation this morning to find another newbie who is as lost as I am. The lady sitting next to me has begun work here 3 weeks ago and comes from a sme background too. we can relate to the ‘waa’ feeling in terms of the way things are done in a sme compared to a big organization.

No matter what, my goal is a minimum 3 years here. I keep repeating this to myself. Even if it’s going to be hard, I must hang on. It’s like the Subaru challenge. If I know I am going to win the car by holding my hand there and not move, I will do so till I pass out. For this case, my career is at stake; something worth more than a Subaru car definitely. I want to make this right and I want my career to be railed on track. For so long I have been moving, wanting to chug up higher onto the mountains. This might just be the break. I am holding on to it. 3 years AT LEAST!

I came up with this little schedule which I printed and pasted into my notebook. It’s a schedule of how I want to work my weeks. I am pretty glad with myself as I managed to wake up around 540am and head out for a run and did a brief core workout. The aim is to clock at least 40-50km a week. If I even can do it, squeeze in a biking session on Sunday early morning.

Apart from this, I allocated time for housework, part time work, meal with mummy and rest & relax time with dearie. =) I hope this helps to organize my life a little better.

Update: I overslept on the run this morning. Argh. I must do better!

small shrimp big sea

3 days into the job. I feel like a little shrimp swimming in a vast ocean. I used to boss around the little aquarium; now I can’t even see the end of the great ‘pool’. I’ve been ploughing through 2 files of treasury information and attempting to make sense of it. The sequence of matters seems somewhat jumbled up as I try to piece the bits together.

There is quite a bit of commotion happening elsewhere and I can’t be of much help. Sigh.

I have been lacking discipline for my morning runs. Trotting around in stilettos is taking its toil on me. Am I trying too hard to fit? Maybe I just lack the poise? I count 4 blisters and 1 bled today. The sight of bleeding made me wonder if I am fitting the right shoes.

I need to get some discipline instilled in myself. First I need to get my runs back again. i cannot make much plans for a marathon but the least I can do it to get more mileage. Clocking 40km weeks are getting harder. Maybe I am lazy. My aim is to maintain my 50km weeks. Now with this new job, evening runs will be difficult. I need to be as disciplined as the Chinese lady who never fails her daily park connector morning runs. i need to sleep earlier. I need to wake up on time.

Then I need to get myself out of house earlier. Aim is to leave home by 7am so I can reach office by 8am. This will give me time to do some reading and have breakfast. Currently I am still 15-20mins behind target. My life has to be pushed forward. Wake up earlier for run. Leave home earlier for office.

I have not much time for piano these days. So it’s good I didn’t rush into buying a grand some months back. I am trying to keep up with reading at least. Reading in the office. Reading on the way to office. Reading on the way home.

I am still getting used to the changes the new job brings. Changing habits is really tough. Sometimes I walk in feel I’m getting out of control. why am I not running as much as I want to? Why do I not have a plan on training these days? Why can’t I play the piano more? Why do I get home feeling so tired that I have not much strength for much? Why am I not cooking more dinners for dearie? I need to find a balance in it all. It is coming to terms with changes and adapting myself to them.

A A A all the way

Another 2 As in the bag! not me! hoho. it's dearie. he has a roll call of 6 As for his masters now. 1 more dissertation and 2 more modules. The finishing line is soooooooooo close now! all the way dearie!

I felt like a small country mouse in the big city. I like the intranet of the company. i like the detailed documentation of the accounts. There are many in-house systems used to capture different information, interfacing from one system to another. It was like waaa.. for us, it has always been excel spreadsheet based. i guess only big companies can afford to have their systems customized. There are many more things i was wow-ing over the entire day, which i shall not say here..else you might find me really like a toad in the well.

Another piece of good news for me. i was told i am given a pay raise for the part time job i am holding. 3 months into the job and i am getting a 12.5% increase in hourly rate. the work i do is really simple - collecting fees, updating collection list, updating contact list, do some cleaning, call students up to remind them of class change.. doesn't need alot of brain power. no politics. nice people. nice boss. i think that is why although i sometimes hate missing runs for work.. i am still holding on. i am intending to hold on to this for a while..because my boss is appreciating my work by giving me a raise =) my work is appreciated; it means alot alot to me. she doesn't need to wait for me to start hinting i want to quit, before she does something.

so, it's a good day. dearie with his AAAAAA. me with a pay raise and new job. that's nice for a start.hoho!

fighter watches the fighter

dearie and i caught this movie at jurong point gv today. the fighter watches the fighter.

the film is more than just fighting. i thought the cast brought life into the roles they played. scores a 9 for me.

turning early tonight for tomorrow's new change.

all done

i left the office at 7pm feeling happy with myself. i have completed what i set out to do before my last day. i sometimes think if i have made a hasty move; indeed 1 year here is somewhat short. i had not intended the job search to be an accelerated one. it was more like a see-look-survey intended exercise, but the position at my dream company opened and i was given a chance to take another step forward.

close to the end of the year i thought i have accustomed myself to the crisis mode of things. did i over-react? or perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.

i start a new chapter on monday. it feels like life in reset; it happened a year ago didn't it? building relationships over again. remembering names. remember which turn to make to my seat. remembering how to troubleshoot the printer if it fails to work.

i wore a big smile yesterday, knowing i have completed all the 2010 required reports. to me it adds the full-stop to the end of the sentence and i am glad i got to do it myself. this week was really hectic, having to work late for 4 out of 5 days. dearie has been my guardian angel - sending me dinner and picking me home. a big thank u to him! =)

he commented yesterday, "i don't want to spoil you ah.. next time it's harder to pick u up liao." =) no problem. next time working late will probably become norm. it's in town and mummy's around the corner. hoho!

we lose some we gain some. we let go to embrace the new.

look through the windscreen to the future. look back the rear mirror sometimes to reflect what we've learnt.

my new grand to say goodbye

my colleagues - amy and sew kin, got me this as farewell gift. they have been hearing so much of my grand dream that they have decided to fulfill it for me =)

gold keys wowowow!

it comes with lights that i can switch on. the crystals disperse the kaleidoscope of lights. in purple.

in blue

in red

and in green!

thank you so much. i love this grand. and i will really miss working with both of you. you have both taught me much and i really enjoyed my year here.

pedas

we have been enjoying blended chilli and cut up yellow/white chilli similar to that in the photo. all the chilli are planted by ma. directly fresh from her garden.

it is numbing hot. dearie has a special concoction to eat them. white chilli with minced garlic, mixed with ma's rocket brand soy sauce and sesame oil. the result, really good chilli that goes with beehoon, mee and anything else!

it made our dinner so hearty, it made the day a little better. oh, not forgetting the 8km run dearie did with me..during which he listened patiently to my rants for the day and kept reminding me to hang on for the next 8 days.

it will end soon. the old will pass and the new will come. =)

thank you dearie for helping me keep sane. thank you dw and john for listening to my rants this afternoon too. i appreciate it.