small shrimp big sea

3 days into the job. I feel like a little shrimp swimming in a vast ocean. I used to boss around the little aquarium; now I can’t even see the end of the great ‘pool’. I’ve been ploughing through 2 files of treasury information and attempting to make sense of it. The sequence of matters seems somewhat jumbled up as I try to piece the bits together.

There is quite a bit of commotion happening elsewhere and I can’t be of much help. Sigh.

I have been lacking discipline for my morning runs. Trotting around in stilettos is taking its toil on me. Am I trying too hard to fit? Maybe I just lack the poise? I count 4 blisters and 1 bled today. The sight of bleeding made me wonder if I am fitting the right shoes.

I need to get some discipline instilled in myself. First I need to get my runs back again. i cannot make much plans for a marathon but the least I can do it to get more mileage. Clocking 40km weeks are getting harder. Maybe I am lazy. My aim is to maintain my 50km weeks. Now with this new job, evening runs will be difficult. I need to be as disciplined as the Chinese lady who never fails her daily park connector morning runs. i need to sleep earlier. I need to wake up on time.

Then I need to get myself out of house earlier. Aim is to leave home by 7am so I can reach office by 8am. This will give me time to do some reading and have breakfast. Currently I am still 15-20mins behind target. My life has to be pushed forward. Wake up earlier for run. Leave home earlier for office.

I have not much time for piano these days. So it’s good I didn’t rush into buying a grand some months back. I am trying to keep up with reading at least. Reading in the office. Reading on the way to office. Reading on the way home.

I am still getting used to the changes the new job brings. Changing habits is really tough. Sometimes I walk in feel I’m getting out of control. why am I not running as much as I want to? Why do I not have a plan on training these days? Why can’t I play the piano more? Why do I get home feeling so tired that I have not much strength for much? Why am I not cooking more dinners for dearie? I need to find a balance in it all. It is coming to terms with changes and adapting myself to them.