drive and driven

after a few months of abstinence from books (not text books), i picked up this book after dearie showed me a short you tube video which presented an excerpt from dan pink.

i really like this book, so much that i want to own it. i've got it in pdf form now..and i won't mind re-reading it again if time permits.

a quick check on my progress in preparing for the exams in jun. i have completed all the reading. completed all the video lectures. the last 2 things i have on my checklist are to finish all the practise questions on both the study notes and question bank. attempt the mock exam.

the last 2 tasks will commence tomorrow!

i am well on time for my schedule today. another 30mins to my meteor documentary. i'll have to list out all the questions i need to attempt and keep a checklist on when i need to complete them by..and when i do complete them by. (i think this kind of checklists are very helpful in my course of exam preparation so far. it allows me to track my progress all the time.. and when i am able to complete the tasks set out, a sense of accomplishment.

and so, we do need tons of drive in our lives. and if u've read dan pink's book, such drive does not necessarily come from monetary rewards. for me, it's part of my continual pursuit to improve myself. the more i know, the more i realise there is so much i don't know. =)

the little buffalo

what do i miss most since embarking on studies?

reading (books. real books, not text books)

having the mood/time to play piano (the baby grand feels like a white elephant now)

watching mindless tv serials

dozing off over weekend without having to worry about studies i've set out to cover

went to mummy's to help her clear her wardrobe earlier. i got some good hand-me-downs! and the best find for the day is my mummy's 20yr old braun buffel handbag. after applying mink oil over it, i got it back to as-good-as-quite-new condition..all ready for use! only pity is it's a little small for a bring-rubbish-around person like me. nonetheless, i want to use it..because it represents everything mummy. it reminds me of those mornings i see mummy strut out of home early in the morning to go to work. my endearing mummy who means the world to me (plus dearie too, i know he'll be reading this!)

canine

i decided i will give away freely what i took pains to acquire. sometimes the more others want to pry things from us, the more we should give them away. perhaps, by giving away, we will in turn gain more. perhaps, by giving away, it will make them understand that giving the next person the fish does not equate to the person knowing how to fish.

it gave me chance to reinforce what i know. it also made me realise there is indeed a whole universe of things happening which i have little or no knowledge of. the pursuit to know more is endless.

learning to find answers will make us more informed individuals. the hunger for knowledge will make us stronger. i cannot teach another person how to be and stay hungry.

dearie reminds me about this important point, whenever i am down, whatever you learn is yours. where ever you go, you will bring it with you.

i often lament how selfish others are of the information they have, perhaps they think i am not of their level. i am only given drips and draps of the things i do. it's like getting 100 pieces of a 500 pieces puzzle and they would scoff at you to figure out the rest. well, if it's 100 pieces then so be it. i gathered the 100 pieces and i will slowly figure out the rest. even if it will take me a lot more time.

it reminded me of something mentioned in the bible in Matthew 15 (i am not trying to sound spiritual here but i feel i draw parallelism to it:

Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.” Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” “Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

to put the whole passage in its context (in how i understand it), canaanites are like the villians who occupy the promised land which belongs to the israelites. and this woman came to Jesus, seeking help. Somehow Jesus told her that the right first belonged to Israelites. The woman did not give up and she begged. Jesus saw her faith, despite knowing she did not deserve anything, and healed her daughter.

I see myself as the canaanite, but i'm not begging. Not because i do not have faith, but because those i work for are no way near the likes of Jesus. There is no such thing as faith and healing at work. But i take no shame in gathering the crumbs that fall from the table, though it seems like i'm snooping around like some canine. i will try my best to move from table to table to gather the crumbs. tables here can be various sources. hopefully by sweeping up enough crumbs, i will gather enough to make it into a filling meal.