it's good to go to work and be really busy every moment. work has been pretty packed since it embarked all over once again. fresh start, new environment, renewed goals.. life's gradually unfolding its next petal.
exchange rates, financial statements.. i'm back to accounting again. the cycle's coming to its full round. i took a part of my life to go explore..now it's back to pursue whatever i last left off.
i haven't felt such mental fatigue in a while. as i pored through the 3 years' of accounts i'm suppose to regenerate its financial reports.. it drained me mentally. 2nd day at work and things are still going pretty smooth. i want to make this job work out. and i will refuse to give up easily.
my skin has been giving me alot of problems. itching badly. i hope it goes off soon. it's agonising.
haven't been training as much as i hope i can.
time to pick up my driving lessons next week. must arrange for it tomorrow.
picking pieces up.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
when things hit the rock bottom, they have to bounce up.
work hit a bottom following the decision to leap for a no-pay leave starting monday. but i'm thankful God opened 2 interviews next tuesday. both at tuas, which i'm ok with. let's hope both will go ok.
the flat hunt collided into the murky end when the sums worked out to be a great hefty bit of cash upfront. we really don't have that much on our hands, but both of us are willing to give all we've got. this decision is a huge one..i was even reduced to tears coz i realized how i've foolishly spent my money on things that won't build my future. i learnt my lesson to always save, save, save.
even as my morale plunged coz i really wish i had more to offer and i wish i had not spent so much time in social work which enriched my life but not my pockets, i told myself there's no point dwelling in the past. as i leaned my head upon his shoulders, i knew i must pick myself up. change that negate feeling into strength that'll propel me to find a job that'll earn me more, build my career..progress..invest and study..for these will be what will develop my life.
yes, i do feel poor when i know i might be emptying all i have into a home. but i know there's no point dwelling on the state, fold my arms and do nothing about it. i must break out of this state, and the only way to do it is to work harder and save more. poor people don't have to always remain poor, if they know how to empower themselves to move out of the vicious cycle.
superboy & fighter.. both with such great spirit..how can we not live up to the names we choose to call ourselves by. i love the word fighter..coz it has the never-say-die attitude in it. this is one life situation that such attitude must arise. my attitude will determine my altitude, motivational speakers often say.
the day was on a roller coaster today. with the up of knowing today's my last day and mr c.a. who seemed quite helpeful to get it to come to past. down when he almost blew his top coz i was trying to clarify that i should only be returning half the net pay not the gross. up again when i gotten a call from one other company in tuas for interview on tues.. up again when i finished my cip data entry. and up again when i gotten an interview with safra. however, it dipped just 1min ago when i received an email that 1 out of the 3 interviews has been cancelled coz the position has been filled up. that's fine. still got 2 to be hopeful of. may God open the right door to the right job.
Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
Leon J. Suenes
work hit a bottom following the decision to leap for a no-pay leave starting monday. but i'm thankful God opened 2 interviews next tuesday. both at tuas, which i'm ok with. let's hope both will go ok.
the flat hunt collided into the murky end when the sums worked out to be a great hefty bit of cash upfront. we really don't have that much on our hands, but both of us are willing to give all we've got. this decision is a huge one..i was even reduced to tears coz i realized how i've foolishly spent my money on things that won't build my future. i learnt my lesson to always save, save, save.
even as my morale plunged coz i really wish i had more to offer and i wish i had not spent so much time in social work which enriched my life but not my pockets, i told myself there's no point dwelling in the past. as i leaned my head upon his shoulders, i knew i must pick myself up. change that negate feeling into strength that'll propel me to find a job that'll earn me more, build my career..progress..invest and study..for these will be what will develop my life.
yes, i do feel poor when i know i might be emptying all i have into a home. but i know there's no point dwelling on the state, fold my arms and do nothing about it. i must break out of this state, and the only way to do it is to work harder and save more. poor people don't have to always remain poor, if they know how to empower themselves to move out of the vicious cycle.
superboy & fighter.. both with such great spirit..how can we not live up to the names we choose to call ourselves by. i love the word fighter..coz it has the never-say-die attitude in it. this is one life situation that such attitude must arise. my attitude will determine my altitude, motivational speakers often say.
the day was on a roller coaster today. with the up of knowing today's my last day and mr c.a. who seemed quite helpeful to get it to come to past. down when he almost blew his top coz i was trying to clarify that i should only be returning half the net pay not the gross. up again when i gotten a call from one other company in tuas for interview on tues.. up again when i finished my cip data entry. and up again when i gotten an interview with safra. however, it dipped just 1min ago when i received an email that 1 out of the 3 interviews has been cancelled coz the position has been filled up. that's fine. still got 2 to be hopeful of. may God open the right door to the right job.
Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
Leon J. Suenes
Thursday, April 12, 2007
tricia goes around the money which makes the world go round
false alarm this morning.. thought the school cockpit had some silly need for duplicate entries..anyway, i think things have been cleared! it came to light after i saw the report of a student, who wanted some changes done on her report..so with some track-back..it was a relief i needn't run through the entire box of cip records to get them all keyed in again. phew!!!!!
sneaked out at 2pm to the arcade at raffles place to get my eyebrows trimmed. i came back 15mins late. 315 i set foot into the office. prior to that i received 2 mystery calls from a 6416XXXX number which i decided not to pick up as i was in the mrt. it's too similar to my office num 6419 XXXX. gulps. it's totally alright to use my lunch break to run errands..just that knowing i was going to be 15mins late..that brought apprehension in me to pick up the phone. anyway i'm already back in the office now..so pfft.. -dumps it a side-
the whole flat thing drowned my spirit in a pail of water. somehow it led me to think what have i been doing for the past 5 years of work. i hate myself for deviating out to do social work.. i desperately must get back to finance now.. everything is just quantified in monetary terms..and i need the vitamin M badly. =(
as i saw the panes on the mrt doors reflect tricia, i somehow do think i got a nice physique of one who probably can try passing off as a physical trainer. it led me to think if i could make something of it.. but i guess the process required of me is to do my bec and ft courses.
was pondering a little of how to make a catering business work.
whatever can make money, i want to try.
or perhaps i should take up another job at 7-11 coz the clinic job didn't quite work out. =(
indeed..money makes the world go round.
sneaked out at 2pm to the arcade at raffles place to get my eyebrows trimmed. i came back 15mins late. 315 i set foot into the office. prior to that i received 2 mystery calls from a 6416XXXX number which i decided not to pick up as i was in the mrt. it's too similar to my office num 6419 XXXX. gulps. it's totally alright to use my lunch break to run errands..just that knowing i was going to be 15mins late..that brought apprehension in me to pick up the phone. anyway i'm already back in the office now..so pfft.. -dumps it a side-
the whole flat thing drowned my spirit in a pail of water. somehow it led me to think what have i been doing for the past 5 years of work. i hate myself for deviating out to do social work.. i desperately must get back to finance now.. everything is just quantified in monetary terms..and i need the vitamin M badly. =(
as i saw the panes on the mrt doors reflect tricia, i somehow do think i got a nice physique of one who probably can try passing off as a physical trainer. it led me to think if i could make something of it.. but i guess the process required of me is to do my bec and ft courses.
was pondering a little of how to make a catering business work.
whatever can make money, i want to try.
or perhaps i should take up another job at 7-11 coz the clinic job didn't quite work out. =(
indeed..money makes the world go round.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
going no-pay
progress of the cip data entry has been very promising. i've cleared almost 80% of the stack and i'm left with only 20% of the ones which are the tougher ones (longer lists of students on each entry). it's heartening to know i'm well on my way to complete this final task given to me. =)
i was totally left out of the isle programme today..which i didn't bother to ask why. on the brighter side, it's not all a bad thing i'm excluded.. at least i won't have to do another camp for thursday and friday.
a few things on my to-do-list as i go on no-pay leave starting next monday
1. interview at tuas
2. hair cut with patrick
3. get my eyebrows trimmed
4. shopping with my mum
5. catch up on sleep/rest
6. continue to send out lots of applications
7. confirm itinerary for hanoi
friday is coming so close, so close!! =)
i was totally left out of the isle programme today..which i didn't bother to ask why. on the brighter side, it's not all a bad thing i'm excluded.. at least i won't have to do another camp for thursday and friday.
a few things on my to-do-list as i go on no-pay leave starting next monday
1. interview at tuas
2. hair cut with patrick
3. get my eyebrows trimmed
4. shopping with my mum
5. catch up on sleep/rest
6. continue to send out lots of applications
7. confirm itinerary for hanoi
friday is coming so close, so close!! =)
Monday, April 09, 2007
my days at rjc are numbered!
super hungry this after noon..ate 1 big pao and a chicken sandwich. super full now!
had a really satisfying dinner with superboy and meow yesterday at thomson. we had: fish hor fun. fish in sweet & sour sauce, spicy potato leaves, ha kows, siew mais..yum yum!!
that was what i call a PROPER meal! after the 12 1/2hrs race in selangor..
totally enjoyed the eco-xtreme race...though it did get really trying at the 20km bike up fraser's hill and the 4hrs up and down trek to the 2 summits. the rafting was fun, the mountain biking portion was great!..abseiling down the 60m bridge was the best i've yet done for all my races..and to top that off..tyrolean traverse across the unpicturesque water fall at gunung chilling..beautiful!! nomad never fails to bring to us good races =)
have been sending out lots of resumes for the past 3 weeks. so far only 1 company has responded but i'm finding difficulties to go down for interview as it's almost impossible to take leave from rj side. sigh. i hope my no-pay leave request goes through, that'll release me to be able to go for interviews starting next week.
mum and superboy have been really supportive in my career move back to finance.. even as i decided to take a leap to go on no-pay leave earlier than my last day.
update at 3:22pm. mel came over and told me my no-pay leave has been approved by the vp. she'll help me settle it. it's really such a burden off me as i've been vexed over the whole matter of whether they'll release me that soon. i guess they do find me a waste of their resources and time, might as well boot me away since i asked for it. but it's good..coz i can finally arrange for the interview at tuas. =)
all of rcel is out for recce at ubin except me. i'm pretty contented in the office doing data entry. at least i know i can go off at 6pm sharp and go for my badminton class at 8pm with no qualms. let's just hope given my last day being friday, i'll be spared from the camp this thurs and fri.
my aim is just to finish the whole box of cip records by friday. i think there is no need for me to attempt to jut my head into what the rest of them are doing, just for the sake of knowing what's going on..and in the process, i get myself into more unnecessary work.
wrapping the day soon..finish a few more entries..then it's badminton time! yay!
had a really satisfying dinner with superboy and meow yesterday at thomson. we had: fish hor fun. fish in sweet & sour sauce, spicy potato leaves, ha kows, siew mais..yum yum!!
that was what i call a PROPER meal! after the 12 1/2hrs race in selangor..
totally enjoyed the eco-xtreme race...though it did get really trying at the 20km bike up fraser's hill and the 4hrs up and down trek to the 2 summits. the rafting was fun, the mountain biking portion was great!..abseiling down the 60m bridge was the best i've yet done for all my races..and to top that off..tyrolean traverse across the unpicturesque water fall at gunung chilling..beautiful!! nomad never fails to bring to us good races =)
have been sending out lots of resumes for the past 3 weeks. so far only 1 company has responded but i'm finding difficulties to go down for interview as it's almost impossible to take leave from rj side. sigh. i hope my no-pay leave request goes through, that'll release me to be able to go for interviews starting next week.
mum and superboy have been really supportive in my career move back to finance.. even as i decided to take a leap to go on no-pay leave earlier than my last day.
update at 3:22pm. mel came over and told me my no-pay leave has been approved by the vp. she'll help me settle it. it's really such a burden off me as i've been vexed over the whole matter of whether they'll release me that soon. i guess they do find me a waste of their resources and time, might as well boot me away since i asked for it. but it's good..coz i can finally arrange for the interview at tuas. =)
all of rcel is out for recce at ubin except me. i'm pretty contented in the office doing data entry. at least i know i can go off at 6pm sharp and go for my badminton class at 8pm with no qualms. let's just hope given my last day being friday, i'll be spared from the camp this thurs and fri.
my aim is just to finish the whole box of cip records by friday. i think there is no need for me to attempt to jut my head into what the rest of them are doing, just for the sake of knowing what's going on..and in the process, i get myself into more unnecessary work.
wrapping the day soon..finish a few more entries..then it's badminton time! yay!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
eco-xtreme
the next race for superboy and i. happening over the good friday long weekend. wish us luck!
the essence of life
i made a mistake. there are 5 more camps to go. 6 for this month alone. from next thurs onwards, it'll be back to back. 3 out of 5 no venue. 2 out of 5 at dairy farm. i'm filled with much negativity towards camps these days. reasons being:
1. i lose having time outside working hours to do my own things. basically 1st day of camp ends at night. and 2nd day of camp ends around 5pm. latest we've gone to is 11pm for 1st day, 730pm for 2nd day. with that kind of load for 4 out of 5 working days, my energy doesn't get replenished at all.
2. my energy is sapped- both mentally and physically. i've got little energy and drive to train much these days. no wonder none others in rcel are into adventure racing nor any form of endurance sports. i guess they are like me- no energy left.
3. efforts don't always go appreciated, nor is all the work always effective. some classes feel they are already bonded and don't need a short 1.5days camp at all. if they themselves don't see a need, then why do it in the first place? i've yet to see a counsellor going to a client and telling him/her..u need counselling, please come to me now.
the entire feeling is like standing on a piece of thin ice floating in the sea. i can't run from it, i can't choose to jump off from it. filled with dread and reluctance i am made to stand on it till i see land which i can land my feet on.
deep in me, i would like to leap off, plunge into the freezing water if i have to..at least i free myself from the no-choice situation. translate that into my present situation, means i would request to leave mid-month instead of month end. but is that possible? i'm really not too sure though.
i read of the rich and beautiful in urban today and i am filled with a bad concoction of envy and jealousy. i'm envious how some can have such a luxurious life with the world circling around them..jealous how they have so much money to possess whatever they desire, splurging 10k just to dress up for a ball..while i don't even have 10k in my posb savings account. these are just the rich, beautiful and lucky ones existing in the world who probably won't know much of what it means to have the banks tax $2 admin charges on your bank account.
all i'm hoping is to get a decent job..get a decent pay..have time to train for races i enjoy.. spend quality time with my loved ones.. smile everyday and know everything will be ok.
so much things these days come with a price tag on them these days..quantified in monetary terms. i actually do want to dress up more.. get a nice hair colour and hairdo..wear pretty frocks.. enjoy spa.. have facials..but those are luxuries not in my means. i can probably just look from afar and rant.. "i don't think those are for me."
in all the bleakness, living simple isn't all that a bad thing. i'm happy with a small flat. happy just huddle around with superboy in front of the tv, eating dinner. happy just working weekends at running lab with interesting colleagues. at the heart of it all, we all just want love. to love and be loved in return. that's the essence of life. =)
1. i lose having time outside working hours to do my own things. basically 1st day of camp ends at night. and 2nd day of camp ends around 5pm. latest we've gone to is 11pm for 1st day, 730pm for 2nd day. with that kind of load for 4 out of 5 working days, my energy doesn't get replenished at all.
2. my energy is sapped- both mentally and physically. i've got little energy and drive to train much these days. no wonder none others in rcel are into adventure racing nor any form of endurance sports. i guess they are like me- no energy left.
3. efforts don't always go appreciated, nor is all the work always effective. some classes feel they are already bonded and don't need a short 1.5days camp at all. if they themselves don't see a need, then why do it in the first place? i've yet to see a counsellor going to a client and telling him/her..u need counselling, please come to me now.
the entire feeling is like standing on a piece of thin ice floating in the sea. i can't run from it, i can't choose to jump off from it. filled with dread and reluctance i am made to stand on it till i see land which i can land my feet on.
deep in me, i would like to leap off, plunge into the freezing water if i have to..at least i free myself from the no-choice situation. translate that into my present situation, means i would request to leave mid-month instead of month end. but is that possible? i'm really not too sure though.
i read of the rich and beautiful in urban today and i am filled with a bad concoction of envy and jealousy. i'm envious how some can have such a luxurious life with the world circling around them..jealous how they have so much money to possess whatever they desire, splurging 10k just to dress up for a ball..while i don't even have 10k in my posb savings account. these are just the rich, beautiful and lucky ones existing in the world who probably won't know much of what it means to have the banks tax $2 admin charges on your bank account.
all i'm hoping is to get a decent job..get a decent pay..have time to train for races i enjoy.. spend quality time with my loved ones.. smile everyday and know everything will be ok.
so much things these days come with a price tag on them these days..quantified in monetary terms. i actually do want to dress up more.. get a nice hair colour and hairdo..wear pretty frocks.. enjoy spa.. have facials..but those are luxuries not in my means. i can probably just look from afar and rant.. "i don't think those are for me."
in all the bleakness, living simple isn't all that a bad thing. i'm happy with a small flat. happy just huddle around with superboy in front of the tv, eating dinner. happy just working weekends at running lab with interesting colleagues. at the heart of it all, we all just want love. to love and be loved in return. that's the essence of life. =)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
greyish days at rjc
i haven't been exactly too happy at work. how strange things just nose-dive into gloom and dust. not even looking forward for yet another meet up tomorrow. what i have to say i've already said. i doubt they'll want me to stay on, neither do i want to do so.
4 more camps up ahead and 3 of them with no venues. overheard a possibility of ending up at ubin. uh-oh..i've got badminton class on one of the camps.. how am i going to get back ashore, go for class then rush back to camp? i sense a impending disapproval of me going for class again. work is work is work is work, and there is NO compromise to that. i hate camps coz it saps my energy and ruins all own life outside working hours. i have things i want to learn and develop in..
map says we get from pt a to pt b via road c, and that's the way we MUST go. no to road d even if it's faster..NO to road e even if it's flatter. road c it is, road c it must be. such inflexibility affects me tremendously because as my mum requested me to take some off time to spend with her, i could only say i can't. reason is because i'm told i must put in all the hours required of the camp..9am to 11pm..9 am to 6/7pm the next day..and for all that there is no privilege of time off or rest. i think i won't want to voice and ask for me too, in case i'm seen as a trouble maker trying to find flexibility in her system which is rigidly structured as such.
another reason for my departure is the salary which i feel is pathetic. moving back to finance which i can better put my qualifications to use than be literally trampled on coz i don't fit into their mould of how a training facilitator should be. moreover, i don't need their sympathy to TAKE ME IN. those words suck. i'm not a wandering stray that needs a shelter over my head. i want to redeem my esteem n walk away with my head held high.
been terribly left out in alot of work related things since i tendered. i'm trying to not let it affect me..because i didn't choose to be left out..i'm just left out coz i'm soon going to leave. so i guess the rest felt there's no need to involve me too much. oh well..
dw constantly reminds me "the thing is..you are leaving soon." that's really a good thought to focus on, when the lights dim so much it's uncomfortable to be in.
interview at queensway turned out pleasantly nice with doctor wang. wondering what'll be the outcome. would i get it?
i don't know where it will eventually lead me to, but i only want to utilise all the time i have in my hands to earn more. there's alot ahead which requires the cash and i'm lacking much in vitamin M. (m for money)
i know i can survive. i am a gal who can work her way thru to survive. having grown up with little, i can live with little.
sometimes i really want to break down and cry..but what would crying help? at the end of it, i would still have to decide where i want to venture to.. i would have to still stand up and continue in the journey.
1 more day to go before i head to kkb for race. no camps. good thing. i'll probably spend tomorrow doing data entry. a whole box full. got to get it going.
working evenings from 630pm to 9pm at rln for the next 2 days. make up a little for the week ends i'll be missing.
will be making some small tokens for a few nice people i've met at rjc. despite all the unhappiness..there r these handful of nice teachers and colleagues i can truly smile at with no qualms. that's some consolation, isn't it?
4 more camps up ahead and 3 of them with no venues. overheard a possibility of ending up at ubin. uh-oh..i've got badminton class on one of the camps.. how am i going to get back ashore, go for class then rush back to camp? i sense a impending disapproval of me going for class again. work is work is work is work, and there is NO compromise to that. i hate camps coz it saps my energy and ruins all own life outside working hours. i have things i want to learn and develop in..
map says we get from pt a to pt b via road c, and that's the way we MUST go. no to road d even if it's faster..NO to road e even if it's flatter. road c it is, road c it must be. such inflexibility affects me tremendously because as my mum requested me to take some off time to spend with her, i could only say i can't. reason is because i'm told i must put in all the hours required of the camp..9am to 11pm..9 am to 6/7pm the next day..and for all that there is no privilege of time off or rest. i think i won't want to voice and ask for me too, in case i'm seen as a trouble maker trying to find flexibility in her system which is rigidly structured as such.
another reason for my departure is the salary which i feel is pathetic. moving back to finance which i can better put my qualifications to use than be literally trampled on coz i don't fit into their mould of how a training facilitator should be. moreover, i don't need their sympathy to TAKE ME IN. those words suck. i'm not a wandering stray that needs a shelter over my head. i want to redeem my esteem n walk away with my head held high.
been terribly left out in alot of work related things since i tendered. i'm trying to not let it affect me..because i didn't choose to be left out..i'm just left out coz i'm soon going to leave. so i guess the rest felt there's no need to involve me too much. oh well..
dw constantly reminds me "the thing is..you are leaving soon." that's really a good thought to focus on, when the lights dim so much it's uncomfortable to be in.
interview at queensway turned out pleasantly nice with doctor wang. wondering what'll be the outcome. would i get it?
i don't know where it will eventually lead me to, but i only want to utilise all the time i have in my hands to earn more. there's alot ahead which requires the cash and i'm lacking much in vitamin M. (m for money)
i know i can survive. i am a gal who can work her way thru to survive. having grown up with little, i can live with little.
sometimes i really want to break down and cry..but what would crying help? at the end of it, i would still have to decide where i want to venture to.. i would have to still stand up and continue in the journey.
1 more day to go before i head to kkb for race. no camps. good thing. i'll probably spend tomorrow doing data entry. a whole box full. got to get it going.
working evenings from 630pm to 9pm at rln for the next 2 days. make up a little for the week ends i'll be missing.
will be making some small tokens for a few nice people i've met at rjc. despite all the unhappiness..there r these handful of nice teachers and colleagues i can truly smile at with no qualms. that's some consolation, isn't it?
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