it's hard but it's worth it

The attitude of a colleague at work really irks me big time. She is a nice person in nature, just that when it comes to work, there’s been quite a change in her performance..and her frequent disappearance from work is definitely not helping. As much as I would like to give her the benefit of doubt, there is a limit to that. Perhaps the bonus payout was not handsome enough for her appetite. Then again, I thought she performed pretty well last year, hence I believe her appraisal ought to be pretty decent?

I’m not in the position to probe more but it just irks me as work piles up for me. If given a say for headcount, I will suggest to give her the boot and hire someone who can be of more help in the department. She’s quite a waste of resources..and not improving the efficiency of the department. Let’s not mention about the pay disparity too.

Dearie and I clocked a marathon last weekend. We did a 30km (dearie did 31.5km) on Saturday at macritchie. On Sunday, we did the 10.4km passion run. If we include the 1km warm up..that’s a full marathon over 2 days!

I am thankful dearie was around on Sunday to pace me through the entire race. After the torturous 30k on Saturday, my itb and hamstring were screaming “ouch” and the tummy upset in the morning really killed me (squatting in the toilet 10min is no joke)..

nonetheless running beside him gave me strength to keep going. He talked to me through the entire run…running up to the water stations to get drinks for me..and kept encouraging me on. He told me my timing at every km.. told me my pace for the whole race.. helped me calculate how long I would be able to complete the run if I kept at XXX pace.. I was too tired to process all the computations he made.. I just knew I must keep up with dearie.. though in fact he was trying to accommodate to my snail pace run. Seeing Vivian pace a guy at the last 1km urged me to keep up. Dearie sped up and prompted me to pick up.. I struggled on to keep up but was finally able to overtake that guy and several others along the way too!

The time stopped. 10.4km in 57.24mins. wow. To me, it was a result beyond my expectation. I gave myself an estimate of 1hr 5mins to finish the 10.4km; given the ache and pain from the 30km. it was a good run.. and completing it at a time I have not expected was a bonus. I was only able to do so because dearie was there =) thank u dearie.

Turning the page, I now have to face with 2 assignments and 2 exams. It is a huge burden on my heart.. as I need to do a lot of reading and research for the assignments and also set aside sufficient time to revise for the exams. The next 1 month will be very trying.. and I am very stressed out now. I'll have to comb through the internet for data.. dissecting the information.. it's a heady brew!! Going to sleep is difficult, as thoughts on the assignment piles on my chest like an anvil.

I need to get through this. I can get through this. I WILL get through this.

Everyone gets the same 24hours a day. If others can do it, why can’t i? it’s just a month, things will get better after this month. Hang on tricia. You are a fighter =)