Thursday, April 08, 2010

small speck big world

I received my namecard yesterday. Looked at it for a moment and just felt mildly pleased that I have attained that title placed beneath my name. As I put the 2 boxes of name cards back, a vendor’s name card lied nearby in my drawer. I imagined how perfect it will be if my name was imprinted on a namecard from that company. To add the cherry to the icing, maybe with his title beneath my name. tax director. Haha..that’s dreaming beyond my league.

Shuts the drawer. End of dream.

My thoughts were diverted to some unhappiness of pay disparity in the company. It happens everywhere. I am just learning to come to terms with it; that there will always be some who are favoured. Some who can wriggle themselves into good positions without truly having the capabilities. Some who can get away with things. Hard work is like Chinese medicine. It is slow to effect.

Dearie is right. Albeit feeling unjustified, I will choose to continue to work hard. Give my best to things so my conscience is clear. So that I can be blameless in front of those who assess me. So that i can be proud that I made it to where I am with what my capabilities and what I can offer to the company. I will get there. It is a matter of time. And time will prove capabilities.

I started to think how else can I add value to my work. Would going for a financial modeling course help? How well will getting a tax accreditation sit into my career? Would getting the cfa add more value to me?

The whole investment thing I’ve been trying to master is still a big blur. I stared at the charts and wondered what should I be doing? I read my book and still found no answers. There is a sea of counters out there. So which one? When? How much?

I still have a lot of questions to answer and things to find out. I found it somewhat startling to realize how little I know.

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