open your mind

roubini has become a daily staple; i am still grappling with the broad macro concepts discussed in most of its articles.

i am forcing myself to learn to see things outside the box. gradually, cna becomes less exciting.

i read about china-japan-us relationship and the recent sensationalised spat at diaoyutai. what does US stand to gain from this strained relationship between china and japan? what is holding things in place and helping keep peace?

then we look at interest rates. why keep it low? why raise it high? is US doing the right thing to keep it depressed longer? would that help with its economy recovery? what are the things impacted when interest rates are raised or lowered?

it covers emerging economies in the northern and southern america, which i have not got around reading those yet. i have too much to digest in a short time.

somehow the reality of the world out there makes me feel minute.

how are all these changes in global market forces affecting us? are we seeing them evidently in our daily lives? which direction is the tide turning towards? do you think we will be facing a third depression as krugman says?

for me these questions are thought provoking and things i have not stopped to bother much. i am probably more preoccupied with the little things in life- what to eat, when to sleep and how much to run.

the more i read, the lesser i feel i know. it's like when we start to step backwards, the bigger picture we see and the smaller that initial piece of picture seems on the atlas with everything else. i am taking baby steps backwards now =)

dreaming grand

saw an ad of someone selling his c5 for $33k. i was dreaming the decimal leaped over and it becomes $3.3k.

then i tried to imagine some far-fetched drama lines..a friend or a friend's friend wants to give away his/her grand and i am the proud recepient. can u imagine that?

i better start to befriend more grand owners. =P

why am i still harping on piano? coz it's a dream. we don't give dreams up so easily, do we?

2 in 1

i found a good way to best utilise my time while i exercise in the office during the mornings and lunch time.

i READ!

i lay out my newspapers and i will read while i move around. i might try if i can prop my kindle on the in tray to try read off it later too.

that's a good way to spend my 15-30mins doing 2 things i like. =D

update: propping up my kindle on my intray works! now the 30mins fly by very quickly while i read and exercise.

skill, cents & weight

Checking the online jobs portal is a daily routine. While I look out for job opportunities for dearie, I also check out for myself. I look out for good companies which are hiring. I look out at the pre requisites stated and check them against what I have or do not have. it’s a reality check to ensure I stay relevant and also give myself an idea what are the skills I need to move on to the next level.

I think I deserve a pat on the back as I have made a new high for savings in Sep’10 compared to the preceding months. Notwithstanding the month of may which I made sale of some biking stuff, Sep is a record month for me. Abstaining from shopping really helps. See no evil, spend no money. It takes a lot of self control to be able to resist not spending on needless things. Shopping is like a black hole. Once you jump in, you just keep falling. And it adds up. $10 here, $30 there. When you add them all up, it’s like a couple of hundreds. Gulps. I repeatedly reminded myself to save the money for shopping when I get to travel overseas next year. It will be more worth it to spend on special things which can’t be found locally. I will also have more to spend comfortably.

Can’t help to continue to sniff around for a cheap piano buy. I am hoping for a good deal to fall from the sky. Haha. I earn the right as a full blown cheapo!

I’m into my 3rd week of exercising in the office. An ex colleague actually commented I look bulkier! =( but how come I still weigh the same? Ok, I think the weighing scale is dysfunctional! Must be the mooncakes. Maybe it’s all the rubbish I eat. Hmmpf. Anyway I think I need to face up to reality with a good electric weighing scale soon. Okok, that’s a ‘need’ to be fulfilled in oct!

economics at play

dw recently introduced me to read roubini's newsletters and i've been surfing around his website at http://www.roubini.com/

i've been intrigued by the global economics insight the analysts are sharing.

it made me want to study more on economics! less the econometrics part if i can. hahaha. that's a distant dream for now. i think it is easier reading someone's insight than to formulate that insight myself.

wanted to read on socrates but found no downloadable files to read. i need something easy to understand; dummy's guide to philosophy-socrates.

i'm almost half way through story of pi. i am still amused how a tiger could actually be named richard parker.

there's a new hire in the holding company's finance department. i am guessing she should be replacing the treasury accountant who has recently left.

did i wish i could have taken his place? i didn't think too much about replacing him, but i am still hoping to be part of the holding company instead of being under the subsidiary.

am i happy where i am? i think i need to learn contentment and patience in order to curb the feeling of unhappiness arising occassionally.

just move along. don't think so much. finish the 2 years and i can chart on from there.

road relay and thoughts

the inaugural safra road relay was held at safra jurong today. something i tried to train for but somehow dwindled off for some reasons.

i kind of switched my target this morning. from trying to stay on par with a fellow club runner to not coming in last. that fellow runner actually came in way ahead of me, so i was glad i changed my target to avoid much disappointment. i was pretty glad i came in about 7th out of 12-13 woman's open runners and clocked my best 2km timing of 9.09. =)

dearie's team came in first! yipee! dearie was the last runner of his team and i'm sure he made a grand entry back! i didn't get to stay through the entire race as i had to head off to work at 9am.

i commenced work 15mins after interview, yesterday. the work is pretty simple, hours are manageable and the pay is decent. i'm happy to be generating more income with my time. but of course, that will mean i have somewhat lesser time to spare. the plan is to keep up with the part time till my 2 years at my current company is up. when i move job then, i might give up this part time too.

i am still trying to balance off the things i'll like to do..the things i have and must do.

i'm dwelling in the aftermath of a race - feeling i must train more. i should run more. i should bike more. i should do brick once a week.

hope to start next week right. might want to postpone the meet up with ivy so i can get enough rest before the weekend work. put in all the work. part time work. safra runs. biking on sat. clean the house. cook dinners for dearie. play the piano. read.

so much to do. so little time.

cpi up

how nice, cpi is up 3.3%. is my wage going to move in tandem with it?

it's a game of survival here in singapore.

so it explains for low fertility rates too. with rising consumer prices, everyone is slogging to make a decent living. how to have more kids when some are barely able to make ends meet?

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporebusinessnews/view/1082937/1/.html

worn shoes

My shoes wear off pretty quickly these days. Some can barely last me barely over 3 months. I walk about 50mins a day. 20 mins to and fro home and the mrt. 30 mins to and fro jurong east mrt and office.

I need more durable shoes.

I was hoping to play rebound but I missed the ship. So I have fallen into the sea and waiting for the next ship to come by. =( analysts say the next ships should get bigger and better. Is it true? Shrugs. I am not expecting to find titanic come by.

I am seeing a small glimmer of hope for the part time job I’ve been looking out for. there will be interviews for weekend positions held this and next Saturday. Wish me luck! I really want that job. =)

The urge to buy a new digital piano has died off. But I have started a new quest instead! Haha, this is dumb. I am now looking for a secondhand digital piano, which is not too old (something within 3 years old) and discounted. So I’ve been prowling around marketplaces and forums, waiting for someone to decide to sell his/her digital piano off quickly and cheaply. No rush on this possible acquisition though. i am really looking for a good deal, even though my budget is within 2k.

Budget exercise is coming. Quarter reporting. And soon, audit. I am not entirely excited with them to be honest. More to plan and work to complete the required. Lumbering along.

The tenacity to train for the relay has fizzled off. I think it’s because my target has been moved to another team, and somehow I am sensing some disappointment in her too. but I guess it is only legitimate for the club to try to gather a team to win. For those in that team, they probably shoulder more hopes from the rest of the club than for those running in other teams.

This reminded me of my primary school days. I have never been a talented runner, but somehow I was often roped into sports day events. Reason? Because they needed the numbers to represent the house. I have never made it to the finals, as I was booted out in the heats. So I guess some things never change.

plum enzyme

my plum enzyme tastes really good! abit like ribena and grape wine. yum yum. want to try apple enzyme next!

i'm going to feed dearie with enzyme so we can stay healthy.

i've made some kiwi cleaning enzyme, but as it's made with kiwi skin, the colour is less attractive to the plum enzyme.

red dragon fruit will make pretty enzyme with its red pigment. but red dragon fruit is not common in singapore.

i've been keeping up with my daily exercises in the office since last monday. it's a little too early to see any visible results, but i'm trying to keep up with the routine.

every bit counts

I like the ‘pink sight’ in my bag. My wallet, nano and kindle are in pink. Rapberry pink to be exact. I will be looking out for a pink 2011 diary next year. Maybe I should get a phone with pink skin next year too!

I read the life of pi, by Yann Martel, on my kindle while travelling to work today. I think good authors are people who can make words come alive with words. Just like great musicians breathing life into notes. I like the words I read, and for those 15mins while I read, it felt like the protagonist was illustrating his life by my ears.

I have some trading notes and books in my kindle too. But I think I am happy with fiction for now.

Made arrangement to meet Ivy next Friday. There’ll be another reunion with ex-colleagues this Friday too. It’s nice meeting up with old friends whom we seldom get to be in touch with.

I feel lucky today. The weekend part time job I applied for, came back with a respond. The centre manager dropped me an sms to fix an interview this Saturday. Let’s hope I get this part time job. The only drawback is that I will not be able to travel back to Malaysia as freely as I’ll want to. Nevertheless, I’m sure it can be worked out if I gave the centre manager ample notice ahead of time.

We are only young once. I must make the best of the time I have.

While dearie and I were strolling down to plaza singapura yesterday, we reminisced how hard we worked a few years earlier. We held our full time jobs, took up tutoring assignments and I also did my part time studies. Somehow we knew we needed to earn more in preparation of the wedding, and we worked hard for it. We were often tired then, but we held on. Because it was tough, hence we were cautious on where and what we spent on.

Dearie asked me if it was worth the effort and time to take up this upcoming part time job, which pays almost like a retail job. i feel every bit counts. It doesn’t take up a lot of time, unlike a normal retail job which requires me to stand around for at least 6-8 hours. I think the scope is a manageable one. If I diligently work on every weekend of the year, it will earn me $3k per annum.

Since I know a performance bonus is impossible to have, hence I am working for it by other means. I know I will be at this job for another 1 year 4 months hence the only thing I can probably do is to put all the time I have to good use.

So what even if I am very far from where I want to be. I will get there eventually. I may not have a lot now, but I will get there. Wait and see.

my grand dream

going down to yamaha today made me realise some things in which digital will never replace acoustic.

i may not be a good pianist, but as an amateur, the touch of an acoustic piano has a special place which i cannot find with the digital.

as much as i like the record-playback and plug in functions of a digital piano, i am not ready to part 3 or 6k for them.

the dream is still the grand.

meantime, get my upright tuned. practise. save for the grand.

sorry i kind of wasted much of dearie's time, making him go down to yamaha with me twice..and letting me sit around and play with the pianos.

but i'm glad it's all clear now.

there is none other than the grand dream.

我是宅女！

As nerdy it may sound, i actually delight in spending my saturday and sunday, with dearie, in this order:

1. go out early for biking/running
2. come home read/surf the net/play the piano
3. feel myself feeling sleepy and then nap a few hours
4. wake up feeling like i've just had a great meal.
5. read/online/play more piano
6. have a nice dinner
7. sleep!

no need to dress up, wear make up, trot around..sometimes it can be pretty aimless.

i thought this morning breakfast spent with safra running friends was great.

we'll be heading out for dinner with mummy in a while.

doing the things we love, with the people we love. simple yet delightful. =)

管它宅不宅，开心最重要！！

handyman

my dearie is the handyman of our home. it's good having someone who is willing to get his hands dirty and d-i-y. he fixed 2 leaking toilet systems with just $20.

what are the other things he has done/fixed at home?

1. all the curtains were bought from ikea and fixed up by him
2. the mirror in the master bedroom toilet was drilled and hung up by him
3. all the 6 photo frames you see around the house were put up by him
4. the 2 bike racks
5. he changes all the faulty bulbs
6. my faulty bike lights were repaired by him
7. all the switches are changed by him
8. the shoes cabinet, book racks, study tables and bed frames were bought off the rack and pieced together by him

basically, i'm the maid who cooks and cleans. he's the plumber/handyman who maintains the stuff at home. =D

started loading my pdf books into my kindle. i could even drop mp3 in too! it is so easy to use. just drag and drop. totally dummy friendly!

went out for a bike ride with yenling this morning at 4am. this will probably be the last ride with her before she goes to uk. i am going to miss my biking/running kaki.

of the many 'real' books i have to read, i am down to my final 2. the trading strategies and lky books. it is difficult to bring them around, so i have to find time to read them at home.

yiruma, chopin and pieces played by li yundi have been on my playlist for the past 1-2 weeks. dearie asked me why am i listening to these all the time. i answered that i was drawing inspiration from listening to how the maestros play. though i know i will never play like either one of them but i guess it sets the benchmark on how i should at least try to be playing like.

dearie is right, an acoustic will never replace a digital piano. the few things that will compel me to buy a digital are:

1. i can play, plug in and not disturb others
2. there are different sounds to play around with
3. i can record and playback

but of course, my dream is still a grand. a digital will never come anywhere close to a grand (baby grand is not counted). in fact, digital piano sound sampling is recorded off a grand.

after 2 weeks of deliberation, i think i will drop the idea of the digital after all. firstly it is a want, not a need. a delighter, not a must-have. secondly, the money is better off put into investments to grow into a cannon so i can eventually shoot a grand down. i am relearning the lesson of patience again. lastly, i have a decent acoustic that can see me through at least another 10years. just like a good athlete is not so much defined by the gear he/she wears, but for the hard work, sweat and effort put into quality training. i can have the best piano in the world, but if i don't practise, i will still be making a whole lot of noise. i am learning about contentment in the things i have.

there is a time and season for everything. for me, the time to buy a grand will come one day.

new toy!

it has arrived!

tadahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...oooooooooo!

waseh waseh..this is tricia's fave colour.

and these are MINE! HOHOHO!

dearie is not letting me start it though the battery has flashed green (green means battery full). He said I have to charge it full full before i can use it. It is full, why can't use?! It is really thin. Very compact. Can't wait to continue reading my 'story of pi' on it.

I have so many e-books to read. so exciting. for a moment, i think i can do without a digital piano. the kindle will keep me happy for a long while. =D

worth

Family and friends (apart from those who bike) can't understand why I could pay $6k for my bike. Basic aloeca and momoki bikes are easily available at less than $100. I don't bother to explain the different parts and their costs because to them, so what if it's a carbon frame or dura ace groupset?

Just like a piano. $6k for a digital piano? Madness! You can get a casio one at hypermarts at under $100 too. So what if it has 5 layers sound sampling and 6 amps?

I have been too vain, no wonder i am so poor. I have so much butter and so few guns.

Now i am putting myself in front of the mirror and looking at that reflection. Do i deserve that big fat butter? The answer is a simple no.

I'll be fine after sulking a few days.

Maybe i should use that $6k to buy a new bazooka. Then when i multiply that into a cannon, i'll be able to fire down a gigantic butter like the one in the picture!

need vs want

While i googled on how i should distinguish between a need and want, i chanced upon this

The Gun And Butter Theory(http://www.johnchow.com/the-gun-and-butter-theory/)

some excerpts:

"It’s pretty simple and easy to say that we should all be acquiring guns, because guns make more guns, while Butter just melts. However, most people go through life buying butter and no guns, or they buy butter thinking it’s a gun, when in fact it’s just a very expensive piece of butter."

"Guns appreciate while butter depreciates. Examples of guns include stock, real estate, collectible, anything that goes up in value or makes income (other guns). An example of butter is almost anything in your house, except the house itself."

"When I look at the amount of guns I hold I realize that I really need a lot more if I’m to create the kind of lifestyle I envision for myself. The truth of the matter is, you can’t get there by working – you can only work 24 hours in a day. However, guns make more guns, and those guns make more guns, and so on. Get enough guns and you can have all the butter you want"

So much truth and wisdom in it, isn't it?

I am still trying to get that digital piano off my back, that's like a note thumbtacked into my skin. everything and everyone around me think i should not get it. the price tag with it is crazy. Anyone in the right mind will not pay so much for a digital piano. Just go along with the acoustic..get it tuned and play. What is the fuss?

This is like cold turkey and i just have to hang through this weekend. once the promotion ends i'll be safe.

I sound so miserable, don't i? =(

turtle pace

timing for my 2km isn't improving. i am unable to achieve the timing set. feeling much like a tortoise now. maybe dearie is right, i can do longer distances like half and full marathons. however, when it comes to sprints which requires bursts of energy, i somehow just do not have the fast twitch muscles to do well.

yet, i feel sore. because i want to do better and i don't want to give up without a fight. the relay is in another 1.5wks' time; i have no idea where can i find wings to help me shave 10secs off my current timing. will red bull help?

much thoughts went through my mind during the long management meeting that spanned over hours. one director commented that there is no culture within the company to seek out training and development. people do not find a need to upgrade themselves.

i ran that thought upon myself. when i first embarked on my masters some while ago, i was hungry for growth. i wanted to catch up with my peers and studying was the only option i had that could perhaps aid my chase. i thought about how obtaining the masters could help open more doors, give me more options and leverage my growth.

since graduating, have i seen all that come to past?

i hate to answer this, but somehow not really.

of course there are other valuable knowledge which i have gained from my course of study. but all that may not have been translated into something quantifiable.

i did find a job pretty quickly. i am earning a little more than before. but i am ambitious for more. what do i need to move on to the next level? will i be able to 'earn' my school fees back?

this turtle here really has to pick up her pace. i am not giving up without a fight!

强身操 in office

did 2 sets of the 强身操 during lunch, over 30mins. it feels really good to get moving in the office and i actually perspired from doing it.

want to get this into the daily routine. maybe 1 set in the morning for 15mins and another 2 sets during lunch for 30mins. let's see if it helps me tone up after 1-2months! firstly it's not difficult to follow the clip and all i need is a small space. i don't perspire that much to make me totally uncomfortable but good enough to feel warm with blood circulating to all parts of my body.

so, that's a good start for the week and for the next 1-2months to come.

music that speaks

Reflecting upon the long weekend that has just sped by, I think I have spent it pretty well. Ma and Pa dropped by on Friday and the family spent some quality time together before john left for Switzerland. I am envious how closely knitted dearie’s family is, compared to mine which seemed separated with indifference. I am only thankful for my mummy, the only kin who is indispensible in my life.

I appreciate dearie for accompanying to my mummy’s yesterday. I find comfort seeing her well and to me it is never an obligation to see her weekly. I draw strength from her at times; she continues to brave through unhappiness and stands strong these years.

i spent a couple of hours playing the piano on Sunday. I practiced on a new yiruma piece and got it to sound pretty decently by early evening. I tried playing the piece along with the mp3 playing into my left ear. So left ear was listening to the studio-perfect piece as my right ear tried to listen to what my hands were playing. It helped me to work out the expressions of the piece and gain a quick feel of the speed and mood of the piece.

I practiced my chopin nocturne no. 2 too. It’s been a while since I last played it and watching li yundi play it on youtube inspired me. Not that I want to play like him, which I believe I can’t be in this lifetime. But I feel his playing breathes life into music; life into notes you see on a piece of paper. His fingers run on the keys without hesitation, each note he plays produces not just a sound, it tells a story. I dream of playing music that has life and speaks too.

i did some reading too but I’m still miles away from finishing the book.

Finally got my hands on the exercise clip! Will start doing it during lunch later. I think this is good indoor exercise. Seeing the results pa got from doing it daily is really encouraging.

So there goes long weekend and back to toil at work. Next long weekend to look forward to is in Nov, so that's a consolation.

one more lap

It’s heartening to know that the ninja training with dearie and yenling helped. I have very little time to springboard to keep up with her but I saw the gap narrowed yesterday. I am never a fast twitch runner and I dread intervals. But I just couldn’t let it go without a fight. Well, I am not expecting a swop with her but I want to prove to myself I am not very much slower than her.

I am thankful yenling is helping to pace me along. Running back to clubhouse with her yesterday was great. We picked up speed in the last 1km back and it made me want to keep up. Melvin gave us an earful as it was meant to be cool down run back to clubhouse. Maybe we haven’t pushed hard enough on the track. Haha. But I appreciate having a friend to run with; someone beside me to propel me to my goal. I was telling yenling I’m going to hang her photo in front of me during the race so I will be reminded how hard I would run if she was pacing next to me.

We have a few more sessions before the actual time trial. I wonder if I can improve more to stay on par? How can I beat her? That’s a goal I am working towards for the next 2 weeks.

It was interesting to hear of the power struggle within the company and how a fellow colleague evaluated of the management through the recent years. I am not in the position to comment as I’m fairly new in the organization. I am just hoping I don’t get spun into the whole power struggle, should there ever be another one that might arise in the future.

Tomorrow is the last working day for the week. A long weekend is really nice to have, maybe because I rather stay in bed than stay in office.

enlightenment

just what i needed to be told.

from yahoo finance:

Spending is Never Saving

Many people talk of "saving" when they get a "good deal." However, you really are not saving in such cases; you are spending money. If you do not need the item, or do not even really want it that much, then the spending aspect is even more pronounced. Do not confuse getting a good bargain with actually saving money

so buying the discounted yamaha digital piano is NOT saving. it is SPENDING.

earrings from mummy

my mummy gave me a pair of opal earrings tonight. i feel so blessed. they are beautiful. i will wear them everyday to remind myself of my loving mummy. thank you, mummy! =)

9/10 curry

my rendang-style curry on saturday earned me a 9/10 from dearie! =D i'm working towards ma's 10/10 curry!

the ifs

much of saturday was spent playing the piano. there was an advert on yamaha sale, in the life section of the papers today. some digital pianos are on sale over this weekend.

i looked. i thought. and i dismissed the thought.

i feel unfittingly mediocre. as i thought about my journey in music and how much my mum has put into letting me learn, i am quite a disappointment. i never made it pass the performance dip bar, after spending so many years at it. i played in church for a while, but was never impressive a keyboardist.

i have always been a B student large part of my student life.

i'm a mediocre runner too. not making it to the same team as dearie affected me slightly, but i brushed that off that it is after just a run.

my career feels so so too. nothing great to boast of. in fact i am most of the time reluctant to mention bout my company's name as i doubt anyone would have heard of it before.

a part of me ached. because i am wondering if i could have done it better or more. would it change anything if i have studied harder? or put in more hours into practising my piano? would running more miles make me faster? have i opted wrong to go into social work?

perhaps with all that, i would be better off. maybe i would have a little more. will i be more deserving for a new piano? will my playing then bring justice to the instrument that was made to sing?

Yiruma's music

i have been listening and practising yiruma's music. simple yet beautiful. sometimes the simplest things can be the most moving.