light upon my feet

Tomorrow marks my 1 month with the company. As I reviewed where I have progressed to and what have I accomplished, I was in dismay.

I was in this state of uncertainty and I was somewhat regretting the decision to move into this company.

Dearie had to give me numerous counselling sessions to get me to think rationally.

Finally I found a breakthrough today. Somehow things fell into place and I am really blessed in how people around me form an important support group in my life.

So the sequence goes:

Early this week I started to think I should not waste my time here. I was resigned to the fact that I will need to stay here for at least 2 years but I did not want to just let time pass. I started to toy with the idea of studying. Maybe go for CFA. And so I asked around and checked online.

An ex classmate who has been in the banking sector all her career told me CFA is similar to MAF; not necessary. I checked online and realized to obtain CFA I will need 4 years of relevant experience. And for what constitutes relevant experience, I think at this point in time, I have gathered zero relevant CFA experience.

Dearie told me even if I don’t do the CFA, I can still do self-study and learn on my own. But of course, I will need to exercise self discipline.

After staff comm yesterday, I felt so small in the organization, I thought I should quit. Leave this 1 month off my resume and find a new job. At this juncture, dearie and John advised I should stay on and not just give up after 1 month. I actually felt it was more like a no-choice thing. Since I made the decision and given my not-so-impressive track record, I must stay.

I think God gave me an opportunity to strike a conversation with a fellow executive on the way out to lunch today. Apart from blessing me with John as lunch kaki (and free drink which he treated me), I had the chance to start talking to this particular colleague.

After I returned from lunch, I walked over to his seat to talk. We then went on to share our previous working background and our journey with this company so far. There are many similarities between both of us:

1. Both of us are pretty new in the company. He has been here 6 months. This is my 1st month here.

2. We are of similar age. In fact, another fairly new exec is also around the early 30s. So it’s a trend we are seeing here.

3. We were both from SME background.
4. We held accountant positions before this and both were bsbh accountants.
5. Our ex (for me is ex-ex) companies was in Tuas area
6. We stay in Yew Tee

I shared with him my uneasiness on KPIs, work and portfolio. He explained his learning experience and what he observed things worked here. My heart felt so relieved upon hearing his experience. I thought I was the only person feeling useless and alienated. I was not alone. He told me to persevere and hold on too.

I am grateful to have family and friends who form a support group to me and they are the people who give me different perspectives to things. Even ex-colleagues showered concern on how I am getting on. I am in constant contact with ex and ex-ex colleagues. They are friends; more than merely colleagues. I treasure these relationships I build in the last jobs I’ve held. I believe we go to work not merely just to complete tasks set out for us, organizations is made up of people. In every job, we learn to work with people. I am blessed with good colleagues (though there are always some buggers in every workplace) whom I can work well with. Some of them I can even share personal things with. =)

Somehow the road ahead looks more lighted up now. Travelling on is only possible because I know I will always have some hands to hold upon should I stumble.