the immersion programme has been great so far. enjoyed the property run on day 1. gained much from the presentations by different business units' senior management.the same thoughts and emotions flooded me again. feeling all small and insignificant, hoping i could do more to contribute to the big picture.
what is evident is the dynamism of the business and scale of the organisation. but i cannot exactly picture where my position is in the midst of it.
what value do i bring?
i know what reports i need to complete. i know when i need to complete them. i know who are helping me make sure i get them done. i know when i need to start placing out funds. i know who i should call and who will decide on the tenor. i think the work is some what defined. yet, what can i do to add value is not defined. perhaps i think too much. just do my job and get paid. simple isn't it?
there's something in me that tells me i must aim higher. i don't want to spend the next 5-10years updating spreadsheets. i don't just want to be just someone who ensures i close my books on time, get my reports out on time and updates cashflow projections. i hope one day i can be that someone who can stand on somewhere higher and make significant decisions. but i ask myself how far is it from here to there? how to get there? when can i get there? what must i do to get there?
unlike studying, i know how many modules i must complete. i know what are the assignments and exams i must clear. i know definitely when i fulfill the required credits, i will obtain that qualification. but now for career, it is not so. it's so fuzzy and you can't even see what kind of a path you are going down. will it hit a dead end? could i be merely walking on the spot? am i being impatient?
a mentor will be really good to have. someone who has gone down the same road and walked out of it well.
someone who can tell me, i am just a grain of sand, but i am part of something bigger.
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