jump

i jumped. struggled to the last moment before i hit the sent. i wanted to collect all the disgruntle and unhappiness.. as i handed it in, i realised it doesn't quite matter. it was not that has passed which mattered, it is what lies aheads which held more reason.

won't have come so far without family and friends. even in the midst of masked men, i found some who are real. it was assuring to hear from them, "i'm sad that you are leaving, but i know this is right for you."

i contemplated if i could live through the days with both eyes closed, it was pretty comfortable. yet, dearie reminded me, are you comfortable? you are unhappy. it hit me. was i in some kind of self-denial? haha

it is easy to be in a uncomfortable position but still fool your mind to think it IS comfortable. just like how i will talk to myself during a long run, that the end is near and i can hold on.

i'm glad i made the decision to jump. let's hope the parachute does open up during the drop, and that i'll glide through to another land!