finally!

after talking about this for a long long time..i'm finally getting a dream come true. it is out of luck we chanced upon this buy..we are getting it less than half price for a 4 year old baby grand.

i'm excited..though i am also jittery about how i will justify buying it. it just means i will have to work another 1.5years of part time to fully recover this. for something like a piano, there'll be no economic return. it is not income generating; only noise generating in my case.

i think it gives me something to look forward to at the end of every work day. i'm not particularly excited by work these days. i feel happy thinking about coming home to see dearie.. to go for a run.. to have dinner with dearie and john. not forgetting to play the piano too! it's about finding joy in life. i think what brings joy is definitely outside the office :)

grand cycle

Whenever i listen to Yiruma's music, I will start browsing soft forum and ebay for 2nd hand pianos. And I'll have an urge to lay my hands on a piano and start practising the same pieces.

I'll always start looking at digital pianos for their affordable prices. But I always start shrugging them off as they can never sound like acoustic ones.

Then I drool over the nice grand Yiruma plays on.

Then I dream I have one like that.

Then I snap back to reality that I will never play like him nor will I own one. =(

in part

dearie has been persuading me to quit the part time job as he thinks i should have more time to rest. i can't decide.

i took up the part time because i thought i should work harder and earn more in whatever ways i can. moreover, dearie was doing his masters and spent many saturdays in school. i could better utilise my time by working. however, dearie has completed his masters now but i'm still working on both sat and sun.

haven't had much luck with tuition assignments; this will be a good alternative to the current part time job.

the expectations of the part time job is being raised repeatedly recently. these days i will receive sms during weekdays, telling me to do this..do that..i remain clear cut that i do not do part time work during weekdays, as i am paid by my full time job to do my full time work. part time work does not cross that line. dearie reminded me to be firm on that, as once i gave in to it, it will not end. it just adds on. i tell myself, i will do whatever i can within that 4 hours which i am paid to work. whatever else, i must remain pragmatic and hold my ground.

i am looking forward to the centro run coming later this month. these short breaks give me a breather from work.

need to plan for my mandatory block leave soon.. whenever i tell dearie i need a holiday, he'll reply, "just quit your part time job." =|

holidays have been put on hold for now..got to start saving again.

thinking twice, i should hold on to the part time job. every cent counts. happy or not, so long it pays, just work.

when the going gets tough

the last 2 weeks has been extremely trying. the only thing i look forward to every night is for that warm embrace waiting for me at home. sometimes he cooks me marvellous dinners which warms my tummy and my heart.

it is when you are tired, you realise there is someone who is propping you up from your back. sometimes while supporting me, he gives me a nice massage on my shoulders.

i like burying my face on the contours of his shoulder and neck. i am just thankful for having him around.

he tells me don't give up. keep my spirit up. try my best. he reminds me, don't worry, he will take care of everything else.

it brings a smile on my face all the time. =)

factor x

there were many races in the past weeks and months. facebook seems really hyped with many personal bests, victories and completions.

but we are not part of those.

while others celebrated, we also had reached another milestone. i think it marks alot for both of us. it's evidence that we are slowly building something; that one step at a time we are scaling the hill. we may just progress to a mountain in near future too.

it made me feel i must be working harder. i am only young once. this is the time to really work and make my mark. not wait till i'm old and then lament i have not accomplished much.

we will and must achieve more in time to come. =) life has moved beyond just races. i think there are also other very important 'races' we must embark. for those, the distance is x.

ABC treat

our ABC treat for the A-boy!

bro and his chicken cutlet. he called it sinful!

dearie enjoying his chicken cutlet as always :)

i picked the 'less sinful' chicken chop. at least it was not swimming in oil before it came on my plate.haha!

clearing it out of the way

yay! what an accomplished weekend.

managed to close the year-end books for my mummy, filed the eci and i've just completed the tax computation. last step is to print everything out, check through, get her to sign off and then send it in to iras.

for something i've been putting off for almost a month, i'm glad i got around doing it. kick that lazy bug and once i start on it, i must finish it.

at least i know i can totally focus all my time on work now, without having to think about all these outstanding things which i must do but just too lazy to sit down in front of the pc after work each day.

so let's see, check them through during lunch time. bring them all down to mummy by tuesday or so.

last item on the list is to file the annual return which is just click click click..nothing to file since we are an exempt company. and that completes the entire reporting cycle.

if i can wake up early on tomorrow, perhaps i should go to office early and get these done first thing in the morning. then i can start working on all the board papers from tomorrow onwards.

well done, tricia. i deserve a pat on the back!

opportunity

should i go back to office later after i knock off at kip? i still have alot of things to look at and study.. but i'm feeling if i stepped back to office, getting out of it in 1-2hours will be difficult.

dearie and i did a 5km time trial. i think my pacing went all hay wire without a watch. started way too fast and i was struggling badly to keep up by the 7th lap. i am thankful dearie kept me company for the last 2 laps. at the 10.5 laps, dearie called out 23:20. maybe i was feeling delirious, i actually told myself let's try for 27min, without thinking i only had 3:40 to complete 800m. that means i must run 1:50 per 400m. i was too tired to actually do the maths then; i overestimated myself. i completed the 5km at 27:30, feeling a little disappointed i didn't manage to come in before 27. nevertheless, dearie said it was a good effort. at 2:12/lap is nothing to be proud of, but i will try to do better next time!

next time, i must bring my watch so i can keep tab of my pace. =) we'll be gradually increasing the time trial to 10km when we approach closer to our race. i'm not targeting for any pb this round as i've been busy with work to train properly. i just hope to keep at a 6min pace for the least through the race and complete the 12km run within 1:12!

the pace at work has been revving up. apart from the quarter close that's coming in another 1-2 weeks' time, i've been tasked with new responsibilities. i was initially left out of the quarter reporting but was later given a chance to be a part of it. i'll be thankful just to start off with slides or a small role but i was instead given a 'meaty' role - financial analysis of trust expenses for board paper queries. as my colleague took the time to go through the gist of the role, i am seeing pieces of the puzzle fall into place. i see how my treasury portion come into the picture with the rest of the analysis. the whole process will be painful and tedious but i am invigorated by the challenge.

sometimes we just need someone to give us the opportunity. and i am very lucky to be given the chance. now it's up to me to do a good job and impress.

after penning these, i ought to go back to office later and start going through the work. =)

bum bum

bummer must be my last name.

i've got a long list of things to do but my brain is in hibernation mode; don't feel like doing anything.

it's like the monthly carried down brought down thing. i keep pushing it off to the next day. man, i hate my darn attitude.

no potential part time to take up. the door to the group tuition seems closed for now too.

i need to find other avenues to get around this.

but first i need to quit bumming around.

rediscovered

we are rediscovering the joy, pain and alot of persipiration of interval training.

both of us felt the same way yesterday. bones are falling apart!

no pain no gain?

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying

heard this song in the american idol finale. the lyrics are very meaningful.

He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And man I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

smiley meal

dearie said i must post up photos of the smiley meal he cooked for me =) it put a smile on my face when i saw this!

this was my candlelight smiley meal =) cute isn't it?

vesak day

dearie said my blog lacks of some food photos - good hawker food and home cooked ones.

so here's one post with some food photos.

today's vesak day and it has been a very well spent day for me.

we hit the trails at mr today. 11.5km for me, 15km or so for dearie.

nothing can be better than a good meal after a good run. we headed to tanglin halt road, our new breakfast haunt. instead of the usual min jian kuey and chee cheong fun, i had the lor mee and dearie had the char siew rice. my ratings for the foodie there as follows:

the min jian kuey is great! the peanut filling overflows from the freshly made kuey. the best i've eaten so far.

handmade chee cheong fun. not bad too but dearie finds it too salty. for $3, it comes with a bowl of porridge. great deal.

lor mee, not fantastic for me. old changi road lor mee still stands best for me. this one pales to the clementi one, in my view.

char siew-xio ba rice! the charsiew and xio ba are delectable. better than the jurong east one. hoho. i can't remember if this is better than the muar one or not. hmm!

kopi and teh at the end of the meal. 70cents each. cheap and nice. i love the mixture of condensed and evaporated milk. it gives the kopi and teh a nice milky taste.

we shopped ikea and queensway after breakfast. dearie and i tried the sky speed and cumulus 12. both are great shoes. we can probably budget them into the next few months' expenditure if we are keen to get either pair.

we talked about tidying the house and got to work immediately once we got home. dearie packed the storeroom while i cleared the guest room and 2 wardrobes. proud of myself with all the tidying and throwing. it's good to do housekeeping because we tend to unknowingly accumulate unnecessary things. we threw out a few bags of old unwanted things. packed old clothes into bags to be sent off to salvation army over the weekend. with the help of a few containers/baskets, i managed to organise quite a bit of things. i finished all with vacuuming and mopping up.

as we did not have lunch, we had early dinner. i attempted to cook tofu-chicken patties but they turned out pretty ugly. no photos taken. dearie still ate them all up despite their not-too-pleasant look. i think i should stick to my usual mcpork patties.

all in all a public holiday well spent!

small like a single grain of sand

the immersion programme has been great so far. enjoyed the property run on day 1. gained much from the presentations by different business units' senior management.

the same thoughts and emotions flooded me again. feeling all small and insignificant, hoping i could do more to contribute to the big picture.

what is evident is the dynamism of the business and scale of the organisation. but i cannot exactly picture where my position is in the midst of it.

what value do i bring?

i know what reports i need to complete. i know when i need to complete them. i know who are helping me make sure i get them done. i know when i need to start placing out funds. i know who i should call and who will decide on the tenor. i think the work is some what defined. yet, what can i do to add value is not defined. perhaps i think too much. just do my job and get paid. simple isn't it?

there's something in me that tells me i must aim higher. i don't want to spend the next 5-10years updating spreadsheets. i don't just want to be just someone who ensures i close my books on time, get my reports out on time and updates cashflow projections. i hope one day i can be that someone who can stand on somewhere higher and make significant decisions. but i ask myself how far is it from here to there? how to get there? when can i get there? what must i do to get there?

unlike studying, i know how many modules i must complete. i know what are the assignments and exams i must clear. i know definitely when i fulfill the required credits, i will obtain that qualification. but now for career, it is not so. it's so fuzzy and you can't even see what kind of a path you are going down. will it hit a dead end? could i be merely walking on the spot? am i being impatient?

a mentor will be really good to have. someone who has gone down the same road and walked out of it well.

someone who can tell me, i am just a grain of sand, but i am part of something bigger.

worth it

tomorrow dearie will be taking his last paper of his course. jia you! the finishing line is so close now!

the journey is hard but i'm sure it's worth every effort. we will look back and give thanks that we chose to take the less trodden path. =)

dust settles

i refrained from facebook in the last few days because all the comments put up by friends were too much to bear. i cannot fathom why are people so repulsive?

all i read are complaints after complaints. some were mean and blatant. it'll be too much work to start hiding all those mean comments, hence i chose not to log on.

there is no right or wrong, but i do think we must stop complaining and start counting our blessings too. singaporeans are very affluent. most of us are well educated and hold jobs which earn us a decent living. we are always fast to criticise and lament (oops, i feel guilty of that too!). what about counting our blessing and giving thanks?

be less critical of others, unless you like to be criticised. who are we to judge in the first place?

although i do have opinions of some candidates, but i think it takes boldness to step up and take lead. how many of us can do that?

hope all the dust will settle and rants will cease soon. instead of criticising ceaselessly, if it's that unbearable, why don't they just pack and leave? move on to somewhere they feel will offer them equal opportunities, listen to them and act in their benefit. it'll definitely be better than creating all that negativity.

piano marketplace

i've been checking out piano sale ads on ebay and soft forum everyday; it is hard to value a piano. i see reposts of certain pianos repeatedly. it is very hard to sell pianos. how do sellers fairly value them? how much are buyers willing to pay?

not too long ago, someone posted a yamaha baby grand at a very attractive price. i called her up and was told she'll get back to me. moments later, she raised the price by 60%. she didn't honour her initial price, making potential buyers look like fools chasing over a bargain. i still see the piano on the ads, i wonder if she eventually sold it to some gullible fool?

there was another lovely baby grand put on sale recently too. but this seller refused to lower her price. it was priced close to 2k more than the yamaha and was twice the age. same length. similar make.

conclusion, if you intend to buy a piano, use it. selling it second hand may not be easy. unless you are willing to let it go cheap..which in this world, people don't want to 'lugi' so much.

reflective p

pretty amused by all the hullabaloo going on as the election day draws closer.

feels like a stirred up concoction of soil and water, it's all murky now. people getting all emotional with how 'oppressed' we've been under all these years. and how something 'new' will literally set us free.

i often walk pass this koi bubble tea at clementi. i read people craving for their gong cha over the facebook news feed. yet till now, i've not tried it nor do i think i'll do so any time soon. shortly after the success of koi, recently i got to know more of such bubble tea shops popping up.

it's like a reminiscence of the bubble tea bubble some years back. remember how so many bubble tea shops sprouted so rapidly, people were queuing for it..and then after a short period of a year, many folded.

i'm not sure if such a stir-up is exactly good. does it help us make better decisions?

i don't like the fact because the stir up is in its ever all time high that i am seeing unknown people coming in to contest for a bit of a pie.

for now i'm going to take a indifferent stance. so much for rising costs, i'm going to off to work to bring back more. i know to stay ahead is much how i want to deal with it, instead of pointing finger at the government for doing not enough to help. am i even trying to help myself to begin with?

ill fitting me

i think my waredrobe is getting very out of date. i can't remember when was the last time i bought a new dress. the latest additions were giveaways from friends.

i look at fashion with little interest these days. i'm not sure what suits me as i hardly go shopping..and hence i don't try on many new clothes either.

i browse some online blogshops but i cannot imagine myself in those tubes, dresses and skirts.

as my clothes grow ill fitting, i pack them into bags and tuck them into the store room.

strangely, many of the clothes i used to like somehow seem really out of fashion sense..and for some reason i am finding them sticking on my body at the wrong places.

so a part of me is thinking i ought to go out shopping more. another part of me looks at myself and wonder what should i be wearing. then the last part of me looks at my expenditure list and think i can probably put off shopping for another month or so (i'm thinking my money can be saved up for a holiday or grand instead?)

can't figure what to do with myself. =(

broke my mug

I broke the magnetic mug my mum gave me. Remember the last time I broke my mug when I was leaving vv in dec 2009. I received my confirmation letter on 18 april and I broke my mug on 19 april. Is that a sign that my days are numbered? O_O

I am gradually finding more focus in my work these days. It is about that edge over others. I do lack those years of experience compared to many around me, but what can I then excel upon? What do I have that others may not or may have neglected in developing? Can I find something that I can specialize at, such that it helps me narrow that differential between my colleagues and I?

And so, I found there can be things I can be good at and if I did it to my best, it can give me some leverage. But it means asking more questions, finding more answers, seeking to understand things beyond face value, thinking ahead of what may be asked instead of scrambling for an answer only when questioned.

Will this way work? No one can tell but it’s worth the try.