if and only if

I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. The rain makes me sulk. Being able to run on a dry day is bliss. I will soon become a depressive if the rain does not come to a halt soon.

I haven’t made any good progress in my hill training recently. my best time for yesterday’s hills is 2 seconds slower than my personal best last month. Bleah.

I started on a new workout I found on runner’s world magazine. I’m not expecting it to work miracles on slow-coach tricia, but I would try any methods that’ll keep me running harder.

After much deliberation, I decided to quit the job at RL. There are 3 reasons I would keep staying on and handfuls of reasons I’ll want to leave. After weighing out the opportunity costs, I felt to opt out of the job is the better option. There was already some accumulation of unhappiness through the months and I felt by staying on it would just add on to it. Instead of letting myself become more disgruntle with the situation, I’ll rather bail myself out of it now.

If, and only if (dream on), things could end a good note, I hope I could get that $200 voucher that I thought I should have be entitled to but never gotten. Yati once helped me ask about it but as the pre-requisite was to clock 240hrs in 3 months, I never got close to it. Not even after working there for the past 2yrs+, not even when I have been running with velocity since its founding days. I remember recce runs with Kelvin, Sebastian, Thomas, mr guava and iskandar before we launched velocity. I remember organizing a trail relay challenge, which I managed to gather a small group of velocity runners for a morning of fun at macritchie. so I thought I was a volunteer, but to management, I’m not.

It’s disappointing how the system works some times. i'm tired of being a pawn on it.

Well, i guess the last thing I could get for myself for all the work done is a decent testimonial.

I learnt from my part time work: don’t expect too much, so there won’t be disappointment. The more you hope for, the more disappointed you’ll be when it doesn’t happen. When you expect nothing and something comes along, it’ll be an added surprise.

All I am asking for a testimonial and nothing more, so don’t relinquish the little hope that remains.