good luck fall from sky

I’m glad I woke up for a 5km run this morning. for all the food I’ve gobbled down last night, that’s the least I am doing to atone for it. =P

Have been doing a lot of self learning these days in the office. Being able to utilize my hours to enrich myself leaves me feeling satisfied, although sometimes puzzled with some weird stats theorem I can’t seem to fathom.

Taking autonomy of our learning is paramount in self development. In this environment which the company does not take a pro active role in moulding us, the responsibility is up to ourselves. This work environment works on a plane of equilibrium. If you can stay in that position for many years, people applaud to you. having worked here for 1 year 3 months, understanding the culture has left me wide-eyed. As unagreeable as I am feeling right now, there is little or nothing I can do about it. Time is not right for moving out yet. A caterpillar going through metamorphosis must be patient. Only having been through the process of breaking through the cocoon, will the butterfly be strong enough to take flight.

My point of view of things has shifted significantly through the last 2 years. from looking into just the few months ahead, dearie has opened my eyes to planning into my future and years ahead.

Life used to be, “so long I live today happily, that’s good enough”. To now, “I am hoping to achieve xxx in the next few years”. that’s progress in my view.

From a finance point of view, it’s not just spending today’s money and saving enough for next month. I learn it’s about understanding that money value diminishes and what must we do to invest so that our money grows faster than its shrinking factor.

I am learning and I really hope I can gain a better edge in this.

While walking to my bus pick up point this morning, I asked myself again if I should do up the research paper. Unfortunately, I have no idea who can I approach to be my mentor. My networking circle is so small that I hardly have anyone whom I can approach for help. Boss isn’t all too bothered about staff doing more studies. Supervisor is more interested in managing her reports and systems, rather than people. In this company, I can’t think of anyone to seek help in mentoring me in the research. Mr thong, my lecturer, hasn’t replied at all. I am skeptical to how keen he should be to mentor a student for no charge?!?..when he is commanding a lecture rate of $300/hr.

perhaps it's a no-go sign. if i still can't find someone by end of aug, i will pass on the research. that's not really that important for now perhaps.

can i find more practical working opportunities without leaving this company? leaves me wondering. sigh. i am digging for gold in the neighbourhood park.

Yet again, tricia gazes into the sky, looking for some good luck to fall from the sky.