piecing things, one at a time

With the passing of every exam is a little victory for me. It is a small step nearer to the completion of the programme. How fast 1 year went past just like that. Dearie will be commencing his master too. Learning should be a perpetual process.

As much as many will argue academic qualification is not that crucial if you have all the working experience, but reconsider this: you are in the same selection with another candidate with the same amount of experience, but he has academic qualification which is one notch up from yours. He has the qualification that exposed him to a more specialized or wider spectrum of work. If cost is not a huge factor in selection, who would the organization shortlist? Qualification is not everything, but we have to admit it does play a part when you have to compete in the rat race.

I’ve been planning for 2010 recently. The obu degree is still something in my kiv tray; want to do it but a little uncertain how to go about doing so. Then again, most of the time, money is the key. I can pay a school to get help from a lecturer. Pay for supplementary classes on how to write a thesis. So it’s that simple, you just need the M-factor.

I intend to look into taking some short courses with tax academy. I feel having good grasp of taxation will be helpful in my career.

Things ought to slow down for me in the coming year. We’re planning for a kid and I’m a little saturated for long term studies. With the short courses that can be accomplished with the year, I hope I can make some changes to my career and build my family with dearie.

If opportunity does not knock for me to move job, I am thinking to take up some tutoring assignments if possible; just to earn a little more. Should all things come together well, upon obtaining the full icpas membership in april, there should be more options available.

FSA - Cleared!

i passed FSA with a credit. This is within my expectation as the test and assignment results were not fantastic. I was disappointed with assignment grades as Marilyn and I put in alot of effort into it and I thought our answers were pretty close to the solutions. But we only got a 73 for assignment. I got a 13/20 for test. The highest was a 14. To get a distinction i'll need 79 for exam..which is a little tough. But I'm glad I got the credit =)

More worried about eva. Really want to clear eva.

Ma bought me a jade pendant and I have been wearing it since. Maybe it's placebo..or maybe it's bringing me more luck. Dearie and I need more of that! =D

Thank you dearie for staying with me through the exam. Will treat u to a good meal when I get results for my eva. hahaha.. if i pass eva then got treat! I'll stand by you when you start school in Aug. =) We take turns to be each other's keeper.

i like being at home

I love being at home. I can do so many things which I have wanted to do but haven’t got the chance to.
I took leave today to catch up with my revision for tomorrow’s exam and I did the following too:
1. cleaned the house as ma and wendy are coming tomorrow. I cleaned it this morning and I will clean up and prepare the beds for them this evening. Do a quick sweep and ensure we have the place comfortable for them to stay.
2. washed the sofa covers and sun the cushions. With such good hot weather, I sunned dearie’s smelly pillow and bolster too!
3. signed up twitter! I’ve got twitter!
4. go through the eva slowly. Do the additional questions..and do up the notes to be brought into exam
5. I like studying without the lamp. I like to study with natural light – I haven’t got the chance to do that because I either have to study in the evening or in office most of the time. It is so so so nice to read notes under natural sunlight. I can’t describe that feeling. But it’s nice =)
6. study without fear of being caught. I study in the office, under constant fear of being caught and warned again. But I feel at least I am making use of my free time to upgrade myself than to read i-weekly stuffed in between the file. Heh.
7. blast the music and sing-along. Haha. Ka-ra-oke. For my case, when I sing, it’s ka-ra-not-okie. =P

p.s: i took the photo on the left of this entry. how's that? it was taken at labrador park. the dusk was beautiful. i wanted to cut the photo into better 1/3s proportion..but i like the bottom which shows the boulders hence i left the proportion as such. do comment on it so i can improve =)

let it be

Let it be.

I’ve been immensely affected in the last 1-2 weeks and in the quest to understand things better, I think I have accidentally stirred trouble that was better done without.

After talking it through numerous times with dearie, I resigned to the truth that life is and will never be fair. And hence, I am better off adopting a “let it be” perspective than to fight to understand the why-s and how-s.

For the first time in a long time, I am not looking forward to Thursday training. i used to look forward to Thursdays earnestly. I packed my bag for training early on Wednesday evenings. I rush to finish up my revision and assignments early so I can make it for Thursday trainings. Yet, today I am giving myself excuses not to be there.

However, I will still be there because I feel the incident yesterday was something I must apologise for. And there should be a closure to things. No matter how things will turn out, I still want to be there to understand and listen.

I have submitted leave for tomorrow as I do have to catch up with my revision and also rest.

Yes, like dearie said, I’ve learnt something from the episode and walk away from it stronger. He is right, after all, running is just a small part of life.. family, career and friends are more important. I can’t be running competitively all my life. It’s just a season that will soon pass. This has been something Isabel told me repeatedly but took me long to truly understand.

i’ll be taking my cpa pre admission course in 2 weeks’ time. My new term starts next week. 3 more modules. I’ve completed the required acca performance objectives.

I really like what dearie said this morning, “it’s not about how fast you run, it’s about how much money you have”. This is true. In this world, it is true.

These should be my priorities in life. Put in the big rocks which encompass the main priorities first. The smaller stones and sand can come in later. Just like our dream to run the biggest marathons in the world – those can come in once we establish our career.. our family.. we can do it any time in the next 20years to come.

I thought I have smelled a fresh breeze of air. What have I been doing in that box? =X

And that shall be the agenda for the day. Find out. Close case. Let it be. Move on.

Friday, do intensive crash course revision. Saturday, go for exam. Go watch transformers with dearie (complimentary of Citibank!) Sunday, spend time with family. =) and ya, I still want to do some running too..because we have made some mental goals for ourselves that we are working to achieve!

Yay! My mind feels a lot more free now. And my shoulders feel less burdened. Alas, I can smile and say, “let it be”. =)

clarify, understand, peruse

There have been things I have tried to investigate and understand better, but I am not getting much information up till this point in time. I am not sure why it is taking so long for feedback but I feel we have taken pro-active steps to seek answers.

I thought about how the answers will affect things. If we want to move ahead, the focus becomes increasingly important. We will post the questions up for open discussion tomorrow; should we not receive a feedback electronically by today. We have wanted to approach it discretely, but I think we will have to resort to more explicit means. It’ll be an amicable discussion - for the purpose of clarification.

Ultimately we want to understand how certain decisions were made, what the expectations are and what the team’s direction is.

It should not be that difficult to answer I reckon?

Taking a leadership position is not an easy task. As I look at how tpl leads our finance team, I must applaud her for a job pretty well done. from the way she handled the tusra treasurer position; understanding the situation from 3 sides, it is impressive. During our department meeting, she shared with all the struggles and difficulties faced during audit.. she set the timeline for reporting for the next 3 months and gave us broad view of what is required from the department. There were some operational issues raised and she advised us to collect concrete information and quantify the issues. This will aid when we want to gather departments for a meeting to iron processes out, at least we will not be pointing at blank air making accusations. =) to me that is a very sound and proper way to approach problems.

Leading a department requires transparency. It requires clear direction and communication. I find my perspective of tpl changed a lot after working next to her for the last 6 months. I’ve learnt a lot and these will be valuable experience that will path my way to a bigger role.

English Lyrics to Mi Mancherai

Mi Mancherai (I'll miss you)

I’ll miss you, if you go away
I’ll miss your serenity
Your words like songs in the wind
And Love, that you take away.

I’ll miss you, if you go away
Now and forever I don’know how to live
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss the immensity
Of our days and nights,us together
Your smiles when it’s getting dark
Your being naive like a little girl

I’ll miss you, my love
I look at myself and I find emptiness inside of me
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

more things i found out

- Il Postino is an Italian movie (i want to be a pirate and download this movie but i can't figure how to use bittorrent. argh!!!)
- The talented lady who played the violin in the first AOL clip is an American violinist,Lucia Micarelli, with Italian/Korean parentage. She's only 25 this year. Wow..impressive.

Mi Mancherai - Josh Groban

i've been hooked on this song. it's beautiful. from what i found out, it's the song from a movie, Il Postino.

this is the song with the excerpts from the movie.

Mario Ruoppolo is a young man in an insular Italian fishing village where time moves slowly. Since Mario's seasickness doesn't allow him to fish, he is given the job of postman, delivering mail on a bicycle to only a single customer, the famous Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. After a while, the two become good friends. Neruda has been exiled to Italy because of his communist views. In the meantime, Mario meets a beautiful young lady, Beatrice Russo, in the village's only cafe. With the help of Neruda, Mario is able to better communicate his love to her through the use of metaphors. The two are later married. The poet Neruda and his wife are allowed to return to Chile. Some months after Mario makes a recording of village sounds for Neruda. Years after Neruda come back to the island as a tourist, he finds Beatrice and her son in the same old cafe. Through her, he discovers that Mario had been killed a while back. He was going to read his poetry at a large political gathering in Naples but was killed by police intervention. Beatrice gives Neruda the recordings of village sounds, which also record the sounds of police brutality leading to Mario's death. (synopsis taken from IMDB.com)

ahhh..i want to watch this movie!! (yes, more than transformers 2)

2 down 1 last one

eva assignment has been submitted. -heaves a sigh-

fsa exam is over. -heaves a bigger sigh of relief-

i have done all i could have done into the 29 pages of assignment. it was the best shot.

fsa was do-able, though not fantastic. it was a good mix of standard and challenging questions. compared to the sample exam, it was a notch up. but again I gave a best shot in the 3 hrs and 10mins allocated.

no regrets.

last one up. eva exam. i'm feeling more jittery about it but i want to make sure it will be a shot comparable to the last 2 i've taken.

the best shot will ensure i finish the term with no regrets. =)

having enough

Am I trying to make life difficult for myself I pondered? I do have cash spare on hand, just that I am reluctant to spend them. In view of the fees I have to fork out, I trembled a little. The need to be thrifty is real – to ensure I have enough to meet the fees. It has wiped out a lot of what I have and whenever I try to rebuild what I paid out, I find my efforts washed out by yet another term of fees to pay. Really want this to end soon.

It’s an investment I tell myself, yet its intangibility brings uncertainty.

There is little I want of these days because the thought of depleting funds stops me from wasting it on unnecessary things.

It is my hope to get out of this phase in life. I want to be financially strong and have the capability to be a little more generous. I want to add more zero-es to the current amount of savings I have. I want to stop worrying about not having enough for rainy days.

exam progress

not that it is already christmas..just that i haven't got any pictures to put up as i've removed my thumbdrive from the workstation. hence i'm just taking anything i can get from my pictures folder.

progress of the revision for this sat's paper is going pretty well. i am so thankful that i haven't got much to do at work these days and i can use most of my time in the office to revise. i managed to go through both my test paper and the sample exam paper. i feel alot more prepared for the exam after doing so. i'm left with 2 more tutorials to work through, which i plan to complete tonight.

i have more or less pieced my eva assignment together but i want to run through the last valuation portions again. they look extremely weird and i am unsure if it's correct. the assignment is scaring my nerves off because it's really much tougher than it looks. i'm pretty lost with it to be honest. tomorrow is the deadline and i will try to do whatever i can.

after this sat's fsa paper, it'll be full speed ahead for eva revision. another 9 days more and i will be done for the term.

gee. i can't wait for this to end.

sleepless nights

i lied wide awake till 1am, tossing, turning and unable to get to sleep.

i took 1 melatonin at 11pm. it brought a few yawns but no rest. at 1am i was desperate and i popped another one. i continued tossing and turning till i can't remember what time i finally slept.

when i opened my eyes this morning, it was 6.40am and i had missed my bus =( fortunately public transport this morning spared me more agony by ferrying me to work in the record time of 1 hour. it's a feat, considering the mad jam at tuas.

the eva assignment is pushing me to my limits. as i come to the final 2 parts of the assignment, i am faced with scraps of information i cannot piece together. after the disappointing partnership with sxxxxx that finally fell apart, i am fighting this alone. i'm looking forward to have marilyn back as classmate for next term as she has been a study buddy i have tossed many thoughts with.

i really want to wrap this assignment up as soon as possible. i will try to work through till midnight to finish this today. i really want to sleep. i need the rest. without rest, i am close to the brink of breakdown.

mr25 cross country yield

our trophies.. first time in my life i won a trophy for running. when i was in primary school i always got kicked out of track races in the HEATS. hahaha

we had a bountiful yield this year at mr25's cross country marathon.

dearie came in 3rd at 3:53, i only managed at 5:03 but as many girls dropped out, i got 2nd!

the rest of the team did well too; chia came in 2nd at 3:48 and thomas 4:44. isabel and eric didn't manage to complete but did 2 laps..so that was good training for them =)

i was glad i did not give up like last year. i was just hoping to complete it. it was really mental as i ran 3/4 of the race alone.. i did 1/2 with isabel on lap 1 and only managed to catch up with another lady at the golf course of lap 4.

somehow seeing that lady helped me speed up. after arriving at the last drink station together, i quickly gulped the drink and sped off. i knew it was just another 2.5k+ and i needed to stay ahead of her. at least to be 1 position ahead of her. in the last tormenting sloping 400m, dearie ran with me, in his slippers and that helped me chiong to the end. i was hoping to complete it in 5hrs but was off by a little. nevertheless, placing 2nd came as an added bonus.

thursday i'll bring h20 down..to thank those who came to support us.. and to share my joy with the rest of the team.

much thanks to the following who were there today: weeling, brian, sham, lucas, baldwin, yenling & jessica.

it matters if you are black or white

I want to give myself a small pat on the back – managed to finish another tutorial yesterday night. It stretched me out to 12mn once again and I almost overslept, if not for dearie’s noisy hp alarm.

The week’s revision progressed relatively smoothly and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the next 2 weeks will continue to be so. I have kept close to schedule of revision and I’ve been very blessed that work volume has decreased to a point I could spend close to 4 hours working on my assignment yesterday. Everyone’s pretty free after the audit and board meeting. We’ve met the deadline for may’s closing and this is the window of breather we’ll are getting until the cycle starts in 3 weeks’ time.

To me it’s a blessing because this break is timely for me to rush my assignment. However, I do not want to take it for granted and i am being cautious not to be caught for doing personal studies. yet, if I were to look around my department, at least I am utilizing time to learn something. To me, it’s better than flipping magazines, newspapers and watch online streaming movies?

Run training was great yesterday. I went to weigh myself to confirm my weight gain. Argh. I’ve put on 2 kgs! =( yet, what I cannot fathom is, despite gaining weight, I’ve gotten faster. i’ve been able to clock 1.30min for 400m, which to me is a feat. I never imagined myself doing so..but through the rigorous training, I am doing it! =D hee. I’m not going to compare with dearie; 1.30/400m is easy-moderate pace! Thomas and dearie were doing 1.30-1.35 pace yesterday for 1.2km (4sets) and they were chatting and laughing through the sets. What a contrast when you look over and see my crumpled and twisted face while doing 1.30pace!

Dearie posed the question, “do you want to be skinny and slow or heavier but fast?” honestly I was thinking to myself, “can I be skinny and fast?” =P greedy tricia wants the best of both worlds. If I do have to pick, then I’ll pick the latter. I want to be fast and run the races, giving my all. I want to finish and know I could not have done it any better. =)

Running is so much like life. If you choose to be mediocre, you will always be stuck in the gray area of neither black nor white. you either be black. Or white. =)

exams update

In view of the upcoming exams in less than 2 weeks’ time, I have drafted up a study timetable. Since I haven’t got the luxury of numerous hours per day to revise, I can only plan the meager few evening hours I have.

The main aim of the schedule is to cover all the tutorials and sample exam papers. Fortunately, I have gone through fsa textbook once, hence that will enable me to dive straight into tutorials. There are 11 tutorials and I have spread them out to complete within 1 week. Yesterday I planned to complete 2 tutorials, which I managed to achieve. Wee! But that took me all the way to 12mn. o_O

Another thing to be thankful of is the lightened workload since end of audit. I could spend about 2 hours (including lunch break) to look at my eva assignment. Let’s see if I can hold through today again without taking a noon nap.

I hope the workload will stay stable at least till end of the month; let me get through the exams.

Tonight I’ll still be going training and I will work through 1 more tutorial after which. I should take me at least an hour. Need loads of determination to hold through because the natural inclination after training is to shower and hop into bed.

Within the schedule I’ve also segregated the 8 eva tutorials I need to cover over 1 week. Good thing I’ve covered 2 of them so I’m only left with 6. challenge will be more of the assignment which I am delving into it..and I’m unsure if my justifications make sense. I want to do a good one..but I’m a little lost. Let me gather my points and then I’ll email the lecturer for some clarification.

I feel bad that dearie has to go through exams with me again. It can get pretty boring as I have to spend many hours with the books and he is always with me.

Good thing dearie will be starting school soon in august.. at least he will have things to keep him busy! =P

Gee. The entire post is about studies. Hope I’ve not bore you off. But that’s everything on my mind now. I’m working hard to get through this. i’m driving myself to do this term well.. at least get this over and done with. I don’t want it to flow through to another term..like what has happened. =(

Focus at the end! 3 weeks to end of exams. 3 months to end of term 3. ½ year to end of the programme. In that perspective, all the toil will not last forever. At least it is bringing me one step closer to my goal in life.. and that is what makes the hard work worth it. =)

holiday at pa's

With the close of the audit and finalisation of the board meeting reports, the pace at work slowed down tremendously. Coming back from a 3-days holiday at pa’s place, I am recharged to go full speed ahead at work. However, it was surprising that over the long weekend, there were only 2 emails in my inbox and neither of them needed attention to. As a routine, I would list down the tasks to complete for the day/week, and that came out to be just to close accounts for 4 companies. That was it. Wow.

I have 2-3days to finish that and meeting that target should not be a problem. =)

The short break at pa’s place was refreshing, albeit the long journey up. We are blessed with a pool which we could dive and enjoy, at our own privacy. It was an utter indulgence in seafood and ma’s home cooked food. I relish having family dinners more often.

Sleep was something dearie and I caught up with during the break. We slept. A lot. I didn’t get to complete much of the assignment but revision for eva was pretty good. I worked through assignment 1 and that will pave the way for assignment 2.

It is now less than 2 weeks before fsa exam. I’ve got to work through revision fast, while juggling time between eva assignment as well.

The episode with school was dreadful and it changed my perspective about the school. I just want to get over and done with it.. and should I take a mba in the future, I will definitely opt nus/ntu/smu. I have decided not to appeal for anything and just go with what they “recommend”. I hope to do better and will not waste any more savings.

I will take up a tuition assignment after exams. Accounts is my forte and zx is my ex-student. I hope I can be of some help to her for the coming O levels.. and at the same time it will also add a little more to our savings. Time does not permit me to take up the boy whose mother called me last week. Given the 2 modules I have to take next term, I do not have the luxury of time to travel. I do hope he finds a suitable tutor who can help him.. =)

MR cross country is this Sunday. We are not hopeful that the team will turn up to support us, given the cold treatment from coach. Nevertheless, the 6 of us will still race as a team. I hope to do my personal best.. got to start warming up my legs as I have not ran since last Thursday, but I’ve swam though!

Today will do some easy run and core exercises at the stadium. Tomorrow I am thinking of going for an easy run as well. Thursday I’ll be at training but will not push myself. Fri would love to go swim (getting back into the hype of swimming after doing so at pa’s place)..sat maybe easy 5k run and I will be geared up for sun. Does the plan sound ok?

So much for the update. Will post up some photos we took at pa’s place soon! =)

failure hurts

it felt like i've rammed into a brick wall. it hurts terribly. but i know i should not dwell upon it for too long.

it will be nice to just hide away in a cave right now. i don't feel like doing anything for a while. it's giving my wounds time to heal.

yet time and tide waits for no man. i got 2 assignments due really soon and exams beckoning from a close proximity. somehow the last result left me uncertain how i will cope with the upcoming exams. i really have to hibernate at home and get down to serious mugging.

i must get through this. i must get through this. i MUST GET THROUGH THIS.