let it be

Let it be.

I’ve been immensely affected in the last 1-2 weeks and in the quest to understand things better, I think I have accidentally stirred trouble that was better done without.

After talking it through numerous times with dearie, I resigned to the truth that life is and will never be fair. And hence, I am better off adopting a “let it be” perspective than to fight to understand the why-s and how-s.

For the first time in a long time, I am not looking forward to Thursday training. i used to look forward to Thursdays earnestly. I packed my bag for training early on Wednesday evenings. I rush to finish up my revision and assignments early so I can make it for Thursday trainings. Yet, today I am giving myself excuses not to be there.

However, I will still be there because I feel the incident yesterday was something I must apologise for. And there should be a closure to things. No matter how things will turn out, I still want to be there to understand and listen.

I have submitted leave for tomorrow as I do have to catch up with my revision and also rest.

Yes, like dearie said, I’ve learnt something from the episode and walk away from it stronger. He is right, after all, running is just a small part of life.. family, career and friends are more important. I can’t be running competitively all my life. It’s just a season that will soon pass. This has been something Isabel told me repeatedly but took me long to truly understand.

i’ll be taking my cpa pre admission course in 2 weeks’ time. My new term starts next week. 3 more modules. I’ve completed the required acca performance objectives.

I really like what dearie said this morning, “it’s not about how fast you run, it’s about how much money you have”. This is true. In this world, it is true.

These should be my priorities in life. Put in the big rocks which encompass the main priorities first. The smaller stones and sand can come in later. Just like our dream to run the biggest marathons in the world – those can come in once we establish our career.. our family.. we can do it any time in the next 20years to come.

I thought I have smelled a fresh breeze of air. What have I been doing in that box? =X

And that shall be the agenda for the day. Find out. Close case. Let it be. Move on.

Friday, do intensive crash course revision. Saturday, go for exam. Go watch transformers with dearie (complimentary of Citibank!) Sunday, spend time with family. =) and ya, I still want to do some running too..because we have made some mental goals for ourselves that we are working to achieve!

Yay! My mind feels a lot more free now. And my shoulders feel less burdened. Alas, I can smile and say, “let it be”. =)