just another 15.5days

This isn’t good but I can’t help staring at my calendar daily and counting down mentally.

Anticipating a negative appraisal today; prepared for the worse. I have put up my defenses to protect myself. Not that I am going to deflect her presumptions of me, but more to stay calm and just bear through the 20-30mins I must sit through. It’s not worth losing my cool over because I don’t see reasons to justify myself. Everyone is free to have their own opinions.

I kept the advert to remind me what sort of a person she is. Though she holds the decision making authority in the department but her decisions does not earn the respect from the rest of us. we follow not because we agree with the things she do but because our opinions are irrelevant and we are told to follow as instructed. period.

The whole sense of helplessness looms over my department these days. It seems so familiar as we last had this feeling during mich’s dismissal too.

I took a while to try to fathom her ways. i wondered what she is looking for. But I’ve stopped doing so a while ago. It was an utter waste of time and needless as well.

Things will still go on. work is work. as much as we abhor her ways, we can come to work daily, fulfill our duties, draw our deserved pay and continue to let days go by as they come.

Glad these days will be coming to an end for me in another 15.5 working days. New beginning. New challenges. Growth!