much of saturday was spent playing the piano. there was an advert on yamaha sale, in the life section of the papers today. some digital pianos are on sale over this weekend.i looked. i thought. and i dismissed the thought.
i feel unfittingly mediocre. as i thought about my journey in music and how much my mum has put into letting me learn, i am quite a disappointment. i never made it pass the performance dip bar, after spending so many years at it. i played in church for a while, but was never impressive a keyboardist.
i have always been a B student large part of my student life.
i'm a mediocre runner too. not making it to the same team as dearie affected me slightly, but i brushed that off that it is after just a run.
my career feels so so too. nothing great to boast of. in fact i am most of the time reluctant to mention bout my company's name as i doubt anyone would have heard of it before.
a part of me ached. because i am wondering if i could have done it better or more. would it change anything if i have studied harder? or put in more hours into practising my piano? would running more miles make me faster? have i opted wrong to go into social work?
perhaps with all that, i would be better off. maybe i would have a little more. will i be more deserving for a new piano? will my playing then bring justice to the instrument that was made to sing?
2 comments:
Yo, feeling contemplative about things ah?
So what if you have always been a B student? It doesn't mean anything when you are in working life unless you're in govt sector. You know you can beat those Masters or even PhD Students with your working attitude and EQ anytime.
Well, about career, i think its mainly about job satisfaction, no?
So what if the company is little heard of? How about being in a big-name company but it is no longer as prestigious as before and just trying to survive?
Sometimes we all just like to look back at our lives and wonder about the rights and wrongs we did previously. To put it plainly, you may not be where you are today if you had not experienced what you gone through. You may not have made the decision to come back to accounting if not for your time doing social work?
Well, it is ok to ponder a lil while but ultimately God has His plans for everyone, just that we don't see it and it doesn't happen overnight. No one is too insignificant in His eyes. :)
Guobin echoed my sentiments...
Frankly speaking, I have always have the same "What ifs"
Most importantly, if not for the path taken, we would not have met our loved ones and started our own families.
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