tricia cries out

the intensive over the weekend left me intensively tired. The Sunday run was given a miss and it left me feeling something was missing from the weekly routine.

Exams are fast approaching and the pressure has moved up by another notch. The migraines are acting up again.. and I took a day of medical leave today. I treasure this time out of the office as I got to do quite a bit of house work and also got around organizing some things at home which I have been putting off for a while.

2 modules this term is a huge burden I’ve chosen to take up. It’ll be another 2 next term and I’ll be putting myself to the test again. The first half of this year has been expected to be extremely hectic..and it’s proving itself to be so.

I just hope to clear all the modules by this year and complete my studies as quickly as I can. Like dearie would put it “quickly get it over and done with”.

I like getting the house cleaned up. Changed the bed sheets.. vacuumed and mopped the floor..washed the toilet.. put naphthalene balls in the waredrobes.. the whole place smells fresh and clean. =)

The fis module is worrying. I walked out of class not understanding what prof dogan was rambling about. It’s all up to me to read and attempt all the questions now.

Don’t give up. I’m already almost ½ way there. Don’t give up now, tricia.

i'm a scrooge with races

Something I can’t fathom is the rising prices of races – they just get more expensive year after year. there are races which coach has indicated he wants the team to participate in but I am just scrooge-y about the kind of value I am getting from what I pay.

Tricia is such a cheapo you may mumble under your breath. And yes I am! I boldly admit to that.

In many ways, races in Malaysia draw my attention more than those here. Unfamiliar terrain may be daunting but at least I am not paying to run at east coast park, which I can do it on any day of the week.

The only reason why I would pay for local races is because it can be jointly participated with the rest of the team. Not everyone in the team can and will want to travel out of Singapore for a race as it takes time and incur extra expenses.

The best races I’ve done in the past few years were those that took place in Malaysia. Some of the best to mention: eco-xtreme with dearie. eco-xcapade with dearie and Isabel. Pacesetters’ 15 and 30km runs. Malakoff and powerman duathlons (where I met dearie at) and of course, the most unforgettable Sabah Adventure Challenge. These are races Singapore can never nor dream of emulating..because we do not have the natural landscape nor are there sponsors who will support races in scales seen in Malaysia.

wow weee new shoes

dearie just bought me new shoes.. these exact same ones u see in the photo on the left.

asics cumulus 10. he paid $151 for it and expects me to run a 1:51 half marathon in the coming ahm. i'm pretty apprehensive on how i am going to achieve that but i'll try my best nonetheless.

the target is to hit sub 2 hours at least and i have another 5 months to build up. that's my target in the next 5 months - to make sure i will go to ahm and be fully confident of bagging a sub 2 half marathon =)

thank you once again dearie. i have only bought u a cheapo mizuno aero but u've generously gave me a pair so much better.

the weather was really good and i took the chance to scrub up all my old shoes; 3 pairs in total.


gt-2120 .. it didn't last me very long; i wonder why often. perhaps i have not fully expended it. will try to use it again these days, perhaps for short track runs.


ds trainers 12: i love this pair and used it well for about 9 months or so. got them at nearly half of it's usually price during a promotion at rl. these are pricey shoes to own.. which i sometimes find the life of the shoes does not justify its price. these will be retired for monday core exercise sessions.

adizero tempo: these are undoubtly my favourite pair of adidas i ever owned. mine are in pink..but i can't find those on the net. got them during end of 07 i think and really love them. it's the best adidas pair i've ever worn..and i think these will be the last adidas i'll ever wear. they've discontinued the tempo and replaced it with the tempaya for fore-foot runners. i've tried the tempaya..feels somewhat like the tempo, yet not exactly the same. these will be retired to use for track workouts as well.

i somehow find these shoes are such waste to be discarded and i will try to slip insoles into them and continue to use them on track. =) make sure nothing goes to waste. hee. money hard to earn so we learn not to take things for granted.

oh ya..and u know what..shortly after i washed the shoes and laid them to sun dry..it started to rain. oh drats =(

holding things together

The week that has just past had been relatively hectic. I didn’t achieve a tremendous lot but it did take out quite a bit from me.

Friday we presented the proposal – something that has been suspended in the air for a while, finally got that settled with the credit going to dearie. he was the one who put up the a huge part of the proposal and presented it. His spirit kept me going; telling me to take it as a learning process and at least we tried, no matter what the outcome.

Leading a group is an uphill task because it’s not just running in the front and expecting the rest to follow behind. I’ve come to realize it’s turning around and telling each one why we do the things we do and running side by side together.

Last Sunday was the Newton run at macrit and I am really thankful for those who responded to the call for turn up. Although dave, brian and ee chuan could not come in the end, I would like to thank them for responding to the call. I understand races take a lot out of us =) Vincent, Eric and Isabel came for the run..and if I could I would have given them all a hug. Thank you guys for the support. That was the first time I have made a call out to the team for support to a run..and thank you all for responding to it. Though I am not sure how much it will go to impact our proposal, but believe me, every bit counts. In fact, sometimes, it’s the little things that count.

It’s knowing I have passionate team mates that make the hard work worth it. Putting up the proposal was challenging…and we stayed up 2 nights to do it..but now as I thought about the friends in the team we’re doing this for, it’s worth it =) I’m not sure how many of the 13 will continue to hold through..but as I penned down the names, I have 9 persons on my mind I felt strongly will hold on till the end.

My mummy and I had an outlandish experience on Sunday. I felt it was foolish in simple terms, because putting a bet to earn $10 at the expense of $600 was not worth at all. Moreover, she didn’t think we’ll walk off like that. C’mon, it’s recession, of course we want to get the best deal. For now, I’m pretty put off by her dishonesty and poor foresight of the consequence. I’ll rather bring my money elsewhere and avoid this shop for a period of time.

Oh yes, look on the footer dearie created for the proposal on the left. it's nice isn't it? and he did it all with PAINT! =D

My Newton Run HERO!

My baby did an amazing sub-40mins for the Newton 10km Run held on Sunday.

Wooooohooo...my hero! because he way outperformed the 43mins mark I have set for him. to think he was grumbling on how crazy 43mins is a goal to set... he has done way better than that =)

I did within expectations too - sub 53mins, as dearie has targetted for me.

Most of the runners from Runfanatics did exceeding well too. Really proud of them and we thank our Coach for guiding us through since 2007. Certainly hope he is glad with what we have came back with.

21km,..that's the next mark to reach.

destress stress

The accruals problem has got the better of me and my patience is running short on it. after working on it for the past 3 days I am faced with a big question mark on how the 790+k came about. There’s a missing piece which I am struggling to locate. It’s been frustrating and i seem to be trying to grapple something in the dark. I need someone to guide me through this, just like I was on my wits’ end trying to find a mentor during my obu research.

No one. There is no one here who’ll stretch out a hand to help. You are very much on your own.

I find solace and comfort from having company of dearie and running. I just rant on and on about the day’s frustration..and going for runs helps give me mind a break.

There’s a assignment to be handed in by Friday and I am facing problems to sit down and do my reading. Much compilation of notes is required but I am no where there yet.

Everyone has their share of stress and frustration..and it’s a choice we can make to be defeated by it or be over and above it. I have a whole long list of assignments, revisions, work..etc.. waiting for me. the list is looongggg.. work is not always at its best either..because I’m like a garbage collector doing everything.. and investigation work is sometimes crap work with no leads and no guide.

Despite it all, I am girding myself to face to challenge. what is the fun of life if everything simply falls from the sky? There’ll be no sense of achievement if everything is easy within reach.

I hate assignments..i hate the tons of reading I’ve got to do.. yet when I look at it.. it’s during these times growth thrives. A person is not strengthened unless he/she is once broken. We won’t know how fast we can run until we try running fast.

I can very well identify with a kin who faces stress in her own realm of life too. my word to her is to not let stress get the better of you. take stress by it’s weakest spot and tell it that you are over and above it. stress is created by ourselves and can very well be overcome by ourselves too.

Do whatever makes you happy..have a long bath..go out for a walk..eat your favourite food..or talk to someone.. anything. After that, stand tall and brace yourself to face the challenges again.

For me, I’m going for a slow long run. After that, it’ll be assignment and reading for me. haha. can’t run away from it!

on a final note..i hope dearie gets a place at nus to do his masters!! i think the learning bug rubbed off onto him! =)

valentine's dinner

on this year's valentine's day, dearie cooked me dinner - terriyaki chicken =) here are the photos!
dearie the chefwaaaa..chicken fillet so fast turned golden brown liao!?

oooooohh..flip flip...

the final product - tenderlicious chicken with droolworthy terriyaki sauce..ooooh..slurpo!

i did my part by making pineapple cocktail as dessert

it was a simple yet meaningful way to spend the day together. well, no need for bouquets of flowers nor fanciful presents. the meal meant so much more.

thank you dearie. =)

life with no challenge is boring

There is a gargantuan universe out there I’ve been oblivious to all these while. Taking the option module opened my eyes and my mind to markets I never knew existed. I’ve been a tortoise in my shell for more than a quarter century.

There is so much to learn from marilyn and I’m thankful to have her as team mate again. having worked with her for the past 2 terms, we have generated some form of synergy in the process. Sharon is a new addition to the group.

I’m going to give this assignment a good shot and hopefully help secure a decent credit. Indeed, the modules starting from this term on are leaps from the core modules we’ve had in the last 2 terms. Fixed income starts next week and I am eagerly looking forward to discovering more about the financial markets.

The biggest word that sticks out like a sore thumb during studies is – volatility. Everyone wants to measure it.. everyone wants to use it to their advantage. But this is the “A factor” in market investing. People study the trends.. candlesticks, broomsticks, ice cream sticks.. we came up with black scholes to create a perfect risk free portfolio.. but we can never beat it.

I think that’s why some academias like to say investing is more of luck than analytics. If you are lucky..you can blindfold yourself, just throw a dart at a share or derivatives..buy it and make tons of money from it.

Okies. So much for ranting about my studies.. it is really hyped now as I’ve got to get a delta neutral hedge out by tomorrow. I wonder if this really works! We shall see!

Work continues its course. I’ve been taking on more; which includes “inheriting” the crap accounts. I have yet to understand why I’ve been asked to take this on but I am not asking. It’s mundane but I’ll do it nonetheless. This is part of how I earn my keep. Like what dearie says..it’s better to be doing more than doing less. If you’re doing nothing, that’s bad. Imagine if your work is ploughed out to others.. unless you’ve been given a promotion or transfer prior to that..else that might mean you’ll get the boot very soon!

I’m telling myself..If I can do a better job out of what the predecessors did, it’ll be a good proof of my capabilities. =)

Time passes fast these days because there is a lot more to do. so that’s not that all a bad thing..despite I don’t get paid for doing more. Haha!

Training has been more fulfilling these days. I can see my stamina picking up gradually from how I manage long runs. I can go easy for 2 hours and still feel I can do another 10km.

Weekly mileage is still below 60km currently but I foresee things should move up yet another notch soon. It’s not that bad..because running and training are already huge parts of both dearie’s and my life. these days dearie is standing in as coach for me as well – assisting me to achieve better timing.

Later this evening will be a time trial for me. it’s to gauge where I stand and if I can perform according to the split timings laid out by dearie.

Wow. I’m already looking forward to finish work soon and zoom back home..prepare dinner..run out to track.. do the time trial with dearie.. cook dinner and enjoy it with dearie.. then work on assignment..and sleep! My day’s packed but I’m glad I’m learning, challenging myself and sharing life with dearie =)

black-scholed tricia

Research for options assignment has begun. The assignment was posted up by the prof yesterday and my team mates shot emails out for discussion.

I’m more than 75% done with revision of those topics covered in the 1st intensive. It’s quite an ideal time to work on assignment as I foresee more reading required.

Intuitively I googled the key words of the assignment and the whole world opened before me. Downside of that is the overload of information and the need to filter through for the relevant points.

This whole assignment is much about black-scholes .. binomial..and arbitrage volatility. While the underlying concepts are not that complex, application is. To spot the under or over priced option is the first challenge. In that market swarmed with numerous options, how to sieve out the gold from the pebbles?

We had a department lunch at tung lok yesterday. Food was pretty impressive and so was the price that came with it. Not somewhere I will treat myself to, so thankfully the bill was foot by the fc.

During the meal, ag went around the table and asked us what we would want to work as upon retirement. 2 wanted to start a f&b outlet, 2 wanted to enjoy life of a tai-tai, 1 wanted to open a fruit stall..1 wanted to open a handicraft shop..etc. my reply was simple. I wanted to trade.

“trade what?” ag asked.

“shares” I replied.

More than shares actually. I found no need to elaborate then and there.

I wanted to manage a portfolio. Trade a spectrum of shares and derivatives; putting what I am now learning into use.

Somehow, I feel trading will keep my retirement days alive as it will require me to keep abreast with what goes on in the world. From there, I must deduce how it will impact the market and how it will react. And of course, all of that requires some luck too =)

For now, back to learning the models and Greeks. It may not beat the market but at least it helps me make sound decisions. We don’t live by rules but they help set boundaries for us, isn’t it so?

cny break

We had a well-deserved break during Chinese new year. we were away for a week and during this time these were briefly what we did.

- we picked pa at senai airport on Friday evening. Senai airport is undergoing some major construction and the temporary area set up looks a tad rundown for an airport.

- we ran ah-gu route with pa, john and wendy. It was just pleasant doing it with family =)

- dearie took me along to kl for the site survey. We went to mid-valley for a few hours and we both managed to buy some things for ourselves. the highlight of it was the yummy-licious penang laksa we had. Wow.. it is the best I’ve eaten..nothing like those I’ve tried in Singapore. Dearie promised to bring me to the best penang laksa in Malaysia, located at Penang of course!

- ma cooked us wonderful meals that we could not stop eating: pork ribs, curry rendang, meatball soup.. I’m trying to pick up some of her culinary skills so I can feed dearie as good as she does it.

- we slept in late every day. napped through the noon heat and gambled at night. =)

- first time I traveled back on train back to Singapore alone. Nothing eventful because I slept through the entire trip, oblivious to what went on around me. in a train, what exciting thing can there be? Terrorist attack?

- first time in our lives we distributed ang paos. Hehe. I confess we were kind of scroog-y with them this year. we don’t have a lot to spare but we’ll try to be more generous next year. with the completion of my studies and hopefully the betterment of the economy, I believe we would have more to go around.

- we caught several good movies on dvd. I enjoyed both the kite runner and the reader immensely; ip man follows close. The Korean hunk show was a dud.. like some airhead bimbo flick. Transporter 3 was visually entertaining but lacked depth. The passenger had a good plot, similar to the sixth sense, with the unexpected twist at the end. Ponyo by the cliff was cute..simple little mermaid story.. but not many in the family were drawn to cutesy cartoon. I’ve still got juno and true heart to watch and I’m down to the last few episodes of true heart already! =)

- I concurred with dearie that cny this year has mellowed down significantly. We can’t put our finger on what the underlying reason might be. Perhaps the bleak outlook of the economy..perhaps the fear of retrenchment.. perhaps there just isn’t as much to celebrate about any more.

- oh yes, first time i tried mee bandung. mee tastes weird when it' s sweet...=X

On a separate note, options class started on Friday. The prof is really good, giving us detailed explanation and patiently going through some of the quantitative fundamentals we ought to already know. There was not a single dull moment during class; learning is always enriching.=) assignment is pretty challenging though. Personally, I am giving myself 3-4days to run through the notes in order to digest all that’s been taught. I’ll start on my computation and research on Friday. The monitoring and analysis must start by next Monday as the time span we are required to do is 2 weeks. So at least I have a few days buffer to tie the loose ends with Sharon and marilyn before submission.

The pair of ds-trainers has bided goodbye and tempo is soon on its way too. fortunately dearie bought me the pair of trail shoes for the mr training. nonetheless, when tempo is gone, I will have to get a new pair. The thought of spending on a new pair of shoes really puts me down. long gone are the days when I splurge on training equipment. I am unwilling to spend $150 on a new pair of shoes because they don’t last me very long. in addition, I don’t get good discounts like I used to. gee, why is running getting so expensive these days? =( maybe I should soon become a bare foot running advocate for nike; not because it works but because it’s low-cost (provided you step on nails and broken glass!) =P

back on wheels

i haven't biked for almost a year. this morning, dearie and i got up at 5am and went out for a ride.

my legs felt much like 2 anvils..and climbing upslope was particularly challenging. it was pretty disheartening to realise how much bike fitness and handling skills i've lost.

if time permits, i would love to bike at least once a week to cross train between run training.

the feeling of the wind blowing against my face still feels great..like it always has.

with all the twisting in and out of the cleats, the top of my left foot is hurting again. icing it now as i type this entry.. hope to do a short 45mins run later this evening to complete the given workout for the week. =)

only 4 of us turned up for mr run yesterday..but i'm glad we did. the weather was marvelous.. and chatting along with isabel made time pass fast. we completed whatever was required, albeit going pretty slow. at the end of the run, we kind of concluded we still prefer running mr in the morning because it leaves us more time to do other things for the rest of the day.

the future of runfanatics seems a little uncertain.. and i'm a little worried how i can hold things together. starting something is always, it's the sustaining that's a challenge. i'm not sure how and where..but i was discussing with isabel that i hope we can gather a couple more committed runners to join the team. perhaps some working adults will be good to have..because in a way, age does affect maturity; maturity to commit and stay with it.

i'll try my best to do whatever i can. dearie told me this yesterday as i whined about it, "baby, don't worry. i'll definitely support you." thank you dearie. i know i can always count on you. well, even if no one turns up for training, that's fine. because we will still run anyway..right? =)

piano in black

When I was in primary school, I took the school bus that ferried me from my home to school. Every morning without fail, after picking peasant-class tricia from her 3-room hillview hdb estate, it will then trudge through high-class estates along bt timah road. The bus went deep into the estates where all the gigantic houses are located. Those were mammoth-sized compared to our humble 3 room flat.

Vivid in my memory after 2 decades is this majestic black grand piano placed right at the front living hall of a house. The house had full length glass windows which allowed people to marvel at the furnishings. The piano stood with grandeur at the entrance, a centerpiece that cannot be missed by any visitors of the house. The cold white marble floor contrasted starkly to the timbre piano’s black.

The presence of the piano awed me and I have secretly resolved that one day, if I own a place huge enough to house a grand piano, I would place it in exactly that manner too. (the photo on the left which I found on gettyimages looks pretty much like what I saw in the house)

This little dream dwindled away over the years as I stopped piano classes and playing in the church band. recently,Dearie sparked my interest to play the piano again. now that I am playing again.. this dream of owning a grand piano..placing it in my home as a centerpiece is once again rekindled.

Ahh and yes, piano ,in any colour other than black, is a mistake. To tricia, pianos should all exist in BLACK, because no other colour brings out the grandeur of a piano better. =)

all in a chord

In this year, I took on a new responsibility of captain to the team I train with, Team Runfanatics.

We started with a blast in May 08 and we made it through together till now. some can no longer be with us due to other commitments, nonetheless, we did have additions to the team too.

Upon taking on the role, I now understand better the difficulties our managers face. It’s a challenge to gather a group of people, especially when all are from varied backgrounds. Unlike in school, everyone adheres to a similar school curriculum. In the team, some are working while some are studying..some have kids, some are singletons. As much as all are passionate for running, but every individual’s degree of passion differs from another.

it’s good we did some groundwork; to find out individual’s level of commitment and goals for the year. by knowing where everyone stands, I managed to sift out a core group of roughly 7 people out of the team of 20+.

Weekly training now stands about 5-6 people. I have started a little spreadsheet that keeps a full name list of the team and attendance sheet with remarks on the training and weather. Personally feel it’ll be helpful to keep a log of what we did. I’m not trying to keep tab of who comes and who doesn’t..but more for the purpose of observing if there is a trend in attendance vs performance. In addition, it also helps us find out who we can gather to form groups to join races.

I hope those who opt to be in will continue to stay in..while those who are out at the moment, may one day want to opt in.

Work has been a bit of a drag these days. Despite making through 2008 into the new year, it has not lifted my morale significantly. i am just counting my days down. First milestone was the change of year – that I endured through. Next in line would be my 2 years’ mark in the company – another 3.5months to go. after which, I reckon it’ll be the completion of my studies, optimistically by 1^st week of dec – 8 months after.

I ought to be thankful I still have a job and getting paid for my time. count my blessings, not my worries!

And yes! My piano has been tuned! Thank you mr lim for coming by yesterday. now it sounds better..and I’ve been practicing the entertainer tune a little a day. hope I can play it properly for dearie soon. Subsequently, I’ll refresh on some easy sonatas before getting into chopin again. I should get into playing form in a year or so, cross my fingers =P

life's a balance

Why does good time seem to speed pass in the twinkle of an eye?

Dearie and I spent 4 delightful days together, away from work and just doing things we enjoy.

Highlights of this much needed break were:

1. dearie engaged movers to shift my piano over to our home! =D

2. we played piano together and dearie mastered almost half of the piece “the entertainer”

3. we revised through some music theory. Hope I didn’t confuse dearie =P

4. we brought my acoustic guitar over and got it tuned up

5. dearie composed a song.. played the guitar and sang along. It only has 2 verses at present..i’m waiting for the chorus!

6. we ran macritchie twice. Once on Friday..which I suffered badly due to the foot injury.. the 2^nd time was on Sunday with our team. It was a blast..coz I really enjoyed running with Isabel. We discussed on how we will pace each other for the ultra at year end..we’ll need to strategise and work with coach so that we stand a better chance to win this year.

7. saw the doctor on my foot injury. It was a long 1.5hours of wait..and a simple procedure of pricking 4 needles into both my foot.. yet it enabled me to run 14km on the next day. =)

8. we had nice garlic-ky meals together. Both of us love garlic and I cooked a few meals with nice fresh garlic mixed with ma’s home made chilli.. woooohoo.. heavenly! Running out of ma’s chilli soon.. we’ll have to stock up with 2 bottles when we return home for cny!

9. we went shoes shopping. Had wanted to get a normal running shoes..but both of us ended with trail shoes. I think it’s perfect for the cross country runs we’ll be doing. =)

10. dearie picked for me a nice pink flowery dress for Cny. Now I must ensure I stay slim to fit into it!

I lied in bed wishing the 4 days didn’t have to pass so swiftly. Nonetheless, I understand there is a time for everything. As I sit at my work station now, I need to work to survive. My consolation for the day is my supervisor is on medical leave. At least I won’t have to deal with her breathing down my neck on a blue-y Monday morning.

Looking on the brighter side of things, we’re merely 3 weeks away from cny. It’ll be another round of feasting and fun with the family!

In a way or another, I lived through the patchy 2008. weathering through the many bouts of wanting to quit, I am still at this job. dearie taught me to set my sight afar; to look at my priorities and not let little fusses distract me. I secretly still hope my supervisor dissipates into thin air many a times.. but projecting far, I want to hold on till I complete my studies. Those words spoken by the finance director of FX still ring in my ears sometimes. And whenever I get really frustrated, dearie always help me put things in perspective..and of course, curse my supervisor for me when things are unjustified.

There are many things aside from work worth looking forward too. snuggling with dearie.. training with the team.. swimming in the pool.. playing the piano.. working towards a goal in a race.. studying hard to achieve good results.. spending time with my beloved family..

Life’s an act of balancing – balancing things we like and dislike is one.

term 2 results

my results for term 2. thank you for my family who has been behind me all the while. very blessed with decent results. i promise i won't let you all down =)

i missed the ship

to my dismay.. i missed the ship. the january intake is full. although feb and mar intakes are still open, but i reckon it'll be taxing to do it concurrently with my studies.

never mind then..it taught me i ought to plan things ahead..it just didn't cross my mind earlier.

meantime, the money will be set aside till 3rd or 4th quarter 2009. as i'll be only taking on 1 module in the 2nd half of the year, it'll be wiser to do the course only then.

better late than never!

getting closer to what i where to be

For the past 1 week or so, I fervently searched for a pda phone over the internet. Upon receiving my hard earned bonus, I thought it was a good self reward for the year. i scoured the forums and ebays but found nothing within my budget of $300-$400. a brand new one would cost me $500+ which I was reluctant to part with.

Today, I found something I am more than willing to pay for and which I am certain is worth every cent paid for. Instead of spending the$500 on a handphone, which is more a want than a need, I am going to do the pre-admission course to ICPAS. As a pre-requisite to full membership with ICPAS, the 3 days course is a must, together with 3 years of relevant working experience and another test (or paper I reckon) on proficiency in local laws. As I’ve almost gotten 2 years of experience, doing the pre-ad course is timely. i’m aiming for the January intake, which will fall within my holidays..so I can do it without having to worry about my studies. =)

This is something that’ll add value to my career. A full ICPAS membership is prestige in the accounting line; my financial controller and finance director are both ICPAS members too.

Material wants can come another time. for me, I’m on the train to accelerate my career. I like pretty things, but once I hold a good job and earn a decent pay, pretty things will come easily within reach. =)

year end with no bang

Restlessness straddles me. 12 more working days to go and that calls an end for 2008. while I do look forward to the end of the year, the start of next year does not bring much to look forward to. I’ll still be in the same job, doing the same things and feeling flat-lined in growth. We’re all hoping things pick up in a year or two’s time.

Conversations with colleagues have been reduced to minimal these days. I have grown less trusting to those in the office as it’s better to stay quiet than reveal my unhappiness. Working earns me a wage so that I can meet daily expenses and fund studies. That’s all I ask for my job now – just to earn a decent living.

In the midst of pretty routine work, I look forward to spending the evenings with dearie..having meals with mummy on weekends.. training with runfanatics.. learning more things in school (albeit the hectic schedule at times)..going for races.. and just worming at home at times =) these are the things I give thanks for.

It’s the time of the year to sit down and make some resolutions for next year. With the top priority of completing my studies well, I yearn to find another job that’ll offer me more learning opportunities. This is crucial as I want to earn my full membership and become a full fledged accountant. Nonetheless, given a battered economy and its bleak outlook in the next 1-2 years, I can only shove the plan to move on into the storeroom for the moment.

scsm this sun

scsm is this sunday. yes, 2 more days away..i am feeling this impending fear crawling up my gut. gulps.

the only thing i have been excelling in so far is the carbo loading part of the race. haha..i've been eating. eating and eating non stop. i do hope that doesn't mean i'll be carrying extra load to run with.

i confess my mileage for the past few months has been pathetic. after finishing exams, it was already too late to catch up on the mileage.

gee. i just hope to complete. i know i will not hit anywhere near to last year's timing. my aim for the marathons so far is still to complete it within the 5 hours frame.

i have another 3 weeks after scsm to prepare for the ultra. i am not hoping much for it but i just want to do it.

next year will be a more hectic year of classes but i resolve to keep up with training. tuition will be cut to one or two days; just poa.

dearie's hamstring has been pretty tight recently. i can feel his spirit down too because of the lack in training.

we won't be at our peak but we promise once the gun goes, we will start running and will not stop till we hit the finishing line.

(how apt the photo! dearie's the lao beh beh in the photo while i'm the lao aunty..hahahaaa =P)

wedding bliss

The eventful wedding weekend zipped quickly passed. Upon the closure of one memorable episode in our lives, we want to thank the family and friends around us who have helped us much along, we are immensely grateful for everything.

1. billy’s mum: she played the most important role in the whole wedding, from sourcing to preparation, right down to execution. The whole event won’t have happened without her. thank you so much, ma.

2. billy’s dad: thank you pa for supporting us through the wedding. The food you picked was marvelous. =)

3. billy’s bro, john: thank you john for taking the week off early to help us tie all the loose ends.. you can count on us for your wedding in the coming future!

4. tricia’s mummy: thank you mummy. I can never say enough thank you to all you have done in my life.

5. tricia’s kor, Kenneth: I was of no help during my kor’s wedding some years ago.. but he had went the extra mile for me during mine. It really put me to shame how selfish I was then..but I promise I’ll shower my little nephews with more love to express my thanks to my bro and sis in law.

6. tricia’s sis-in-law, lee fen: thank you for taking charge of the gatecrash morning. you really brightened up the entire atmosphere.

7. tricia’s nephew, ming hui: thank you my little boy for ushering uncle billy in =)

8. billy’s sister, wendy: thank you for coming down from Kelantan to help out in the wedding. Didn’t get to catch up with you much but I hope we can have more time to share like the times in kl =)

9. john’s gf, Alicia: thank you for taking time to come despite of your exam the very next day. you are a part of the family..and really look forward to the day I can help me a jie mei for you.

10. runfanatics’ manager, Eugene: thank you so much bro for being the driver and brother through the wedding. We are really grateful for the help.. and did you remember to throw some leaves back into the car before you returned it? =P

11. runfanatics’ atm, weeling: thank you for being photographer, video grapher, lighting helper, car coordinator.. all the roles you have played..countless! hug hug..thank you sis.

12. tricia’s best friend, christin: thank you for being the sister in my life since new life days. And yes, you are one of the 3 most important people in my life =)

13. christin’s hubby, ravi: thank you for coming early to help out. I enjoyed talking to you much…and hope we can enjoy pot wine together again! =D

14. allen & tisha: thank you for coming to the wedding.. can’t wait to see the arrival of your junior! Wowww!!

15. Johnny: thank you for capturing the moments of the wedding for us. You are really professional! =)

16. tricia’s dad: I often face my dad with mixed emotions. i respect him as my dad but I feel that he should treat my mum with more respect and appreciation too.

16. our relatives and friends who made time to be a part of the event..

Our lives are inseparable from these loved ones around us. The event has been made good because we have you! =D

on a good note

Today’s episode made me change my view point about tpl. We were rushing on the parthandling budget all morning, till now, quarter to 3. she had wanted me to change my figures twice which I didn’t do the first time because I plugged her formula in and the figures went all awry. Imagine a 52% positive variance in revenue? Cannot be right? Given the global recession. She insisted how wrong my budget was and wanted me to do it her way.

I was pissed, to be honest. so I perused into the supporting documents and discovered her method is wrong. Instead of blindly following her method, because she wants me to, I went a step further.

First, I amended the report with her formula. Then I saved the same report in another file name and revised it to the usual method we’ve been adopting. Then I emailed along my findings and to let her compare. By doing so, it silenced her on her formula.

I apportioned the revenue via dealer’s net and sales.. and she wanted it to be changed to sales strictly. It’s not something I couldn’t do, but I just felt it was extra work that was unnecessary as I’ve already tabulated and averaged 1 year’s worth of charge out.

I did the regrossed figures as instructed and wow..i was impressed how accurate it made the budget become. I thought the 7-9% variance was pretty neat..but with the -7% to 9% variance now, it is even more accurate given the trend from 2008 to 2009.

All of a sudden, my biased-ness against her was lifted and my whole spirit got lifted. Bitterness is such a heavy burden to carry along. I realize that all of us have our strengths and weaknesses..our blind spots which we need people to help point out to us. For this instance, I pointed out her blind spot and vice versa. By working together, we really made the budget very accurate. Putting aside her kind of sacarcism and impatience, I actually found working with her not that bad. I had initially thought the broad total figures were sufficient enough the effort..but going into the fine details and perfecting them gave me such a sense of achievement.

Waaa..new findings..the budget has not be completed yet. We found some big variances in the given budget for forecasting.. 10mil of difference..waaa…we’re going to investigate..haha..suddenly I find investigating problems really fun =) this budget thing is a mystery we will solve.

It really good to end the working week on a good note. At least I leave office with a lighter heart. Somehow I am already looking forward to work next week as I’m pretty keen to investigate on the variances further. Yay. one last paper tomorrow and I’m a free bird!

yay..after mugging hard for 2 night and today's lunch time..i'm going town with dearie and family..yipeeeeeeee

how long can i hang on?

managed to finish one more round of econs revision. tmr i want to read up some mas macro review..and go through sample exam paper once more. then i'm pretty prepared for the econs exam on sat, i reckon. with 2c-s for both the presentation and quiz, i think my d is getting out of reach.

work is dreadful these days. tpl is a monster. she's worse than fiona and shirley from carrefour days. i'm hanging on for my dear life till end of the year. many moments of the day, helplessness overcomes me and tears just well up in my eyes. i try to brace myself for the worse. i am still accepting it all and taking things in my stride. i don't know how long i can hold on. a part of me tells me i should hang on till i finish my studies because economy is bad and i may not find another suitable job; it might turn out worse. yet, another part of me dread that worthlessness, like a small leaf being trampled on by others in the office. i wish the wind would bring me along and land me somewhere else. =(

time to sleep. i'm tired- mentally, physically and emotionally. i'm looking forward to next week. it ends on thursday and i won't have to face the monster for 6 days. -heaves a sigh of relief-

Our Wedding Page

Our wedding page is up! Do check it out after 30/11/08 as we'll be adding more actual day photos in too.

http://www.mywedding.com/billytricia

Do kindly sign our guestbook while you are there. Thanks! =D

definition of bliss

I have simple definitions of bliss.

When he takes pain and injures himself to fix up the study room because he feels I need more space to study.

When he’s tired yet still stays up to keep me company while I mug for exams.

When he wants to go out for a walk or train but still choose to come home to give me morale support.

When he ferries me to and fro school with no complaints.

When he gets up early on the morning of my exams and goes out to ta-pao vegetarian bee hoon for me to eat before I head out for school.

His frankness and honesty to reason with me what he feels is good and not.

When I’ve ordered hor fun and he orders mee goreng, yet I want to swap with him because I feel his mee goreng tastes better. He’ll willingly swap.

When my cooking is horrendous yet he’ll still finish them up and tell me it’s not bad. Hee!

When I want to run and he has an injury. He’ll still run with me.

When I start blaming myself for the stupid mistakes I’ve made, he tells me he’ll still love me no matter what.

When he shoulders on burden that should have been shared, because he wants me to save my money for studies.

When he always give me the best yet scrimp on himself.

Even when he was tired from all the extra assignments and part time work he had to do, he will always tell me it's ok, because he wants to earn more for our future.

When we dream about what we want to do in the years to come together.

For all that, and much much more I can't finish writing down, thank you dearie. you’ve showered me with love and bliss more than I can ever ask for. I am blessed to have found you. =)

piece our home

We toiled through the weekend, literally. But it was wonderfully fulfilling!

Let’s see. On Saturday, after pof paper, mum, billy and I went out shopping in town. We had dinner by the river then headed down to funan and city hall. We shared a pack of marks & spencer gummy and the sweetness melted in our mouths and hearts.

Sunday we slept in till 8+am before heading out to abc for brunch. Next, we went to ikea and got a new long study table and photo frames to put up our wedding photos. upon reaching home, dearie fixed the table up (which caused abrasion to his hands due to the tedious work of manual tightening of screws into the table) and we packed our study room. It’s so spacious and neat now. somehow that packing stretched out to the rest of the house.

Dearie packed our messy store room while I cleared the shelves in our bedroom and guest room. He then packed the waredrobes in both the guest room and study room. We threw up boxes and bags of trash; things we’ve been piling up in our little house. After all the packing, I gave the house a nice vacuum and mop.

It did not end here. During the evening we went to jurong west for dinner then to giant for shopping. Bought a new shoe rack (something we’ve been wanting to get for the longest time ever!) and a book rack.

Dearie pieced them up together, like a surgeon of carpentry works. By the time we completed revamping our house, it was already 12am. Dead beat, we plonked onto the study chairs, admiring at our accomplishment.

I can only go “WOW!”

impressed. By very impressed! Haha. we spent about $250 on 3 pieces of furniture and it made our place a lot neater and created more space.

I’m glad I’ve got a d-i-y dearie who hands-on-ed on many things in our home. From curtains to mirrors, tables to shoes racks.. we saved a lot because we bought the d-i-y furniture which we could assemble. Dad and mum will be at our place from Thursday, so I’m sure it’ll impress them lots too. meantime, tricia has to ensure all that stays in place, clean up the house on Wednesday again to make the house comfortable for them to reside. =)

new toys!

dearie bought me new earphones after my old panasonic ones spoilt.
it hasthe BLING factor!
it's flexible so it fits around me head like a hairband.

new skin care for myself. i've finished clarins so it's onto kanebo's lunasol series =) this is the emulsion.

the packaging is 1st class! i've tried the little sample packs and i love them. above is the toner.

this is the added little treat for myself. the scrub.

mummy got dearie a pair of shoes as part of the wedding procedure. i suggested instead of giving him an angbao, buying him the actual thing is a better option. give dearie ang bao he'll most probably save it up and insist his shoes are still ok. dearie picked a pair of Dr Martin's Nick Moc Toe. Exactly what you see in the photo.

we spent a good day shopping around. it was something we haven't done in a while since i started the term. a nice break before i begin mugging for econs.

wow.. i still feel so blessed with new things =D thanks dearie for the early christmas pressie! hehe. will definitely use it for training and during the upcoming scsm. woohoo!

running in shape

Tomorrow’s pof paper. the module touches on this wide spectrum of topics and I’m a little lost in the labyrinth of information. I’m onto my final lap of revision but I know I won’t finish in the front pack this time. all I’m hoping is to pass the module.

Tricia deserves a pat on the back and dearie a muak on the cheek (because he has kept me company despite his hamstring injury) for running on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Wednesday we didn’t run due to the wet weather. Tonight I’ll do another run for 45mins then begin my last round of studying. Running makes me feel strong and a sense of comfort because at least I’m burning off some of the food I’ve pigged out on. lunch for the past 2 days had been oats, which albeit being a tad boring, is a healthy option I choose to make. Today I’ve brought home cooked fried rice which tastes a little weird, thanks to the new “stuff” I added into it. =X

Keep it up tricia! wedding is 2 weeks away. Scsm is 3 weeks away. Keep this up and I’ll be in shape for my wedding and marathon. Quite a last minute effort but it’s better than none!

We’ve managed to get the slots for japan marathon..but due to classes.. we may not be able to make it =(

I plotted out my classes out on the 2009 calendar and the entire year is packed! Really hope to clear the remaining 6 modules which will start at after Chinese new year till early December. In a way, i can almost see the finishing line from where I am now. it’s just another 1 year away. 6 more modules. 36 more classes. 6 more exams. 12 more months of pure sweat and slog. It’s not that bad. I can almost see myself taking graduating photos. I wonder if there’ll be a convocation of some kind.. in Adelaide maybe? Oooh..i relish the idea of a holiday in adelaide. =D

28 days! (working days)

I took pleasure in the short break back to segamat last weekend..feasting on the sumptuous meals mum cooked. Yum yum! (albeit feeling guilty of not training and only eating =P) upon coming back from holiday, I went on 1.5days of conso course which I deemed a train-chasing one, I struggled to keep pace with prof ng’s speeding through of the context.

I covered the reading of pof but I’m experiencing a mental block while attempting the questions. My concentration level is low and I am encountering difficulties in comprehending what the questions are looking for. At 11pm yesterday, after working through 1 topic of questions, my brain was at this point blank, and all I wanted to do was to stare into blank air. Stress fell upon me like this huge anvil and i was in a way hard pressed. i snuggled with dearie as his words comforted and his warmth encapsulated me.

I got to work through it and I believe I can. I am not going to let the stress beat me.

Year end is drawing to a close. Work is revving up due to upcoming audit, board meeting, budget exercise and year end closing. 28 working days more before I see my bonus coming in. yay! show me the money! =D

ahhhh..holiday!

It’s a pretty laid back day for me as I have completed my work this morning. there are only 4 of us left in the department; 2 on half day leave and 1 on mc. I hope this tranquil will remain so till the end of the day in 3 hours. I’ve been taking the time on my hands to read my pof notes. Out of 11 topics, I’ve finished 4. my aim is to finish 5-6 out of the 11 topics so I’ve got lesser reading to do during my break. I’ll concentrate my effort on attempting questions. Received an econs tutorial to work on as well.

We’ll be setting off for segamat tomorrow morning instead of tonight. It’s a wise move as it’ll give me more time to finish off the housework, do an easy run with dearie and also do some econs reading. Don’t intend to bring the 3 phone-books thick econs text home, hence I’m going to speed read through for main ideas.

I’m pretty on time to complete my revision before exams. I can’t imagine missing 2 rf trainings consecutively, therefore I am still going to be there for training on sat morning before exams. In order to be able to do so, I must ensure I have revised well through that’ll leave no need for last minute cramming on the morning itself. I reckon running before training may not be a bad idea as getting blood run through my brain will definitely wake me up. it’s not a long paper, 3 hours for pof, 2 hours for econs, I’m sure I will be able to hold through pretty decently.

Scsm is less than a month away, as much as I hope I can better my timing from last year’s I also recognize the fact that my mileage has been pretty insignificant compared to what I managed to clock last year. Therefore, I can only hope to hold my run within the 5 hour window.

We’ll be missing rf training for the weekend, both track on sat and 35km run on sun. nonetheless, dearie and I have made plans (and will be determined to accomplish) for training on our own. Tonight we’ve planned to do some easy track training, something easy as we’ve already been tortured yesterday. we’ll run on fri and sat..on which one of the days we’ll go over to the slope behind dearie’s place. the gradient of that slope is crazy, worse than the np one we did last week, but shorter of course. I’m thinking we can probably do anything from 6-10sets. We did 10 sets at np (4 short, 6 long). Running the ah-gu loops is fun..with lots of up and down..so it’s nothing like running on a flat road. Good thing is we will have to do it no matter what because mum goes brisk walking everyday, so that’ll be a perfect motivating force for us to get our butts off our seats. With all these training, it should keep us in proper form before wed’s training. we could really use some mileage..maybe we can make that up on the 16^th after my exam on the 15^th. A 30km run will be great to have. we’ll plan.. plan and execute!

I’ve also penned down the revision work i’m hoping to complete during the break. I love studying at dearie’s house. We get to do our work at the big dining table (this gives us lots of space to sprawl all our barang around).. the place is bright and peaceful (minus the music I always play in the background).

It’ll be great. I’ll get to study.. train and eat a lot of good food. Woohooo! I’m so so so close to my holiday. =D

another down!

so accomplished today. finished my budget comparison for hrd. yay! now can take a break and go into hibernation mode. aiya..no text book else can study abit. hehehe. it's only 3.25pm. =) weee!!

POF assignment down

woohoo! i've completed my pof assignment as planned. sent it out to mel and roger for review. should be able to finalize it and get it sent out by the monday deadline.

one step closer to my segamat getaway.. but i'll not get away from text books and revision. ahhh...

i feel such a burden off my shoulders. now the next thing i need to do is to read through my econs text in the next day or so. after which it'll be more of revising for pof. pof exam is on 15/11. econs exam 22/11. step on it tricia. get through this well and i have the whole of dec to enjoy! woohoo!!

losing focus

I’ve been very distracted and my focus has been all over the place. worked out the calculations for the assignment but I can’t seem to gather my attention to delve into the question. I literally spent 30mins looking at the spreadsheet with nothing in my head. =(

Shall set some targets to accomplish for the week so I can keep my eyes at one point.

1. finish pof assignment by Wed

2. revise pof and econs sample papers. To raise all queries for econs during mon’s tutorial.

3. try to speed read through econs text for quick notes. Not going to focus much on it though. Just for main ideas.

I’ve been considering the papers for next term. If I do get a slot for Tokyo marathon, doing fixed income will clash with it head on. the only alternative is to do portfolio management..yet I’ve been warned it’s one of the toughest modules..and advised that if I’m doing portfolio, I should not be doing other modules concurrently. I feel so torn.. =( really do hope some little miracles to surface when the timetable does finalize; the minor changes would mean fixed income would be brought back 1 week or brought forward 1 week.

Ran 8.5km yesterday..and i’m hoping to run everyday, even if it’s 30mins’ worth.

Won’t be able to do 35km with runfanatics this Sunday..but it’s ok..we’ll do our own ah-gu route with mum! we can top that up with some circuit training too..torture ourselves abit.hahehea.