money slumbers

month on month increase of savings increased marginally by 8%. =D the intention was to use the last 8% on groceries, but dearie paid up ahead before me. looking at it from another perspective, as we pool our resources together, it doesn't matter whether the outflow was from he or myself.

another record for the month - there was no one-time expense. all that was incurred in the month were recurring stuff which i have to spend on. this gives me a good idea of my monthly 'fixed costs'; at bare minimum, what will i expect to spend. this is good to know, because in an event should i ever (which i don't think i will) consider to quit without a job, this will be a pretty good gauge to know how many months my savings will see me through over.

we watched wall street, money never sleeps on saturday. my takeaway from the movie? i wish i had a us$1mil bonus like jacob. haha! i just reminded me that alot of things happening in the economy are driven by rich people. it's all about the dollars and cents. for us, small fries, are just pushed along by those big potatoes who create the waves.

friday is a public holiday and that is goooood. dearie said we will be going to macritchie for a run. i miss the trails so much!

enslaved

remarks i heard throughout the morning made me feel like a second-class citizen in the organisation. abit of a master-slave relationship.

i'm somewhat sore i was given slave citizenship when they lured me with master privileges.

oh well. no one forced me to sign on the dotted lines.

trying to collect my thoughts on what i want to do. i made myself heard in a peculiar way. i just had to make some sense to all the hullabaloo going on. now i'm tasked with something that seems difficult. it'll be a challenge trying to make sense out of the entire system and how numbers come about on the financials. it's a little like csi.

i am trying to see it as a challenge. do it well and i might impress the big guy. he did ask for my view just now, which is a first since i joined 9 months.

this job stretches me and i am doing alot more exciting things than my previous position. i wonder if any of these will earn me master citizenship? probably not.

i want to leave a good mark. i hope my current bosses can be valuable references to my future career movements.

the cold eased off when i woke up this morning but started to flare up some while ago. now it seems to be in remission again. i drank another cup of cold remedy. i want to get well soon.

got this long list of chores to do and i really really want to do an easy run too. my part time job has reduced all my weekend runs to park connector runs, damn. i miss running trails. i miss biking. i wonder if i can make time for them.

i'll be getting my first part time job pay soon. yay! =D that's the only worthwhile payoff from the things i am missing out of.

back to work now. going to make a list of all the tasks given over meeting and start working on them fast. =)

it lasted till 9

to him it was just a few lines of figures, but to unhide the sheet revealed otherwise. i have to decipher where he got his previous figures, tie them back to the quarters. add 2 more quarters for 2 years plus 3 quarters of 2010. put in all the missing formulae. tidy the entire sheet. it took time. it was not something i could complete in 1hr 45mins.

i was feeling unwell and had to rush this report for him. i was frustration mounted when i had to rework on it a few times because i discovered his classification was not the same as the one i have been reporting.

relieved i completed and sent it out by 9pm. i felt i was penalised for his poor planning. it need not be a last minute piece of work.

runny nose. phlegm. cough. my head feels like a ton. time to climb onto bed and snuggle with dearie.

slowing and wanting

haven't had the chance, in a while, to slowly enjoy lunch, read ibtimes and bloomberg and do a quick blog entry.

did 1 set of 15mins exercise. heated up carrot cake my mummy made. sat in front of the pc, read news and economic updates. and now wrapping things up with a quick update.

i have been complaining alot about work these day, offline. i am not hoping for a miracle to happen; i just want my monthly wages and the contractual bonus.

i constantly remind myself to be patient. patience in my career. patience in our investing. patience in our dreams.

dearie is always the one keeping me sane. he is the one who always remind me that we must not lose focus of our goals, even if we may not see the finishing line right ahead of us. one day we will get there.

bickering with him over who saves more is really comical. we will brag about the things we save on. it's good that 2 scrooges like us are paired together. we scrimp and save together.

dearie once said this, "i can give you everything you want, except the grand." it made me think about what drive me to desire a grand. as much as i still very much would love to have one, i don't think i will force my way to have one. i don't want this to become a pressure for him, because he has provided over and beyond what i need and want. =)

filling pockets

dearie said the dream was a sign that i will be walking out most of the piano shops feeling unsatisfied and not buy anything. hahaha. i laughed and replied, "probably for now".

as i was practising my pieces i thought of sauter pianos again. although i have not played on one, but as i have tried grotrian upright, a fellow german-crafted piano, it is a fairly good benchmark to imagine how a sauter will sound.

i searched the number to raffles piano and called up to find out the opening hours. now i know why we didn't manage to find it during our last walkabout to victoria concert hall. they have shifted and they are still negotiating for a place. the owner was really friendly and offered to call me back when they settle in.

can't help but feel a little disappointed although i know it will be more of a trial session more than a purposeful purchase review. i cannot afford a sauter for now, that i am very sure. but like a steinway, my hands itch to touch, feel and listen to pianos which fall in a different league.

how about trying out steinways? i read that the sauter's distributor(raffles piano) is very friendly, but i've not heard likewise about steinway's distributor (robert piano). therefore, i don't think i will walk into robert piano for now. on contrary, i am looking forward to walk into raffles piano soon! in a month's time. it's worth the wait.

the dream might be true in its sense. i am thinking i will probably walk out of raffles piano feeling unsatisfied, not because the pianos are not good, but because my pockets are not full enough to afford one! =D

11.15 am, time to head out to fill my pockets.

harpsichord like

i dreamt i was in a piano shop last night. there were many old pianos on sale. there was even one with a ventilation fan on it. strange. i tried on a few that looked like harpsichords.

i wasn't too happy with all i tried and came out empty handed.

am i still dreaming of getting a piano? probably yes.

would i buy one anytime soon? probably not.

when will i buy one? maybe when my hw rises to 0.5! hahahaha!

go into hiding

greater the expectation, greater the disappointment.

it is not a good way to start a weekend.

suddenly i feel lethargic. i yearn to take a day's break.

i am questioning myself if i am doing it all wrong. so what is it that is not right?

i envy colleagues taking leave and going for a break. i could take leave too but what could i do?

emotions rage.

i need to find some comfort. maybe i might find some behind the blankets.

the mindless autocrat

i haven't felt so exasperated in the last 9 months. he is driving us all up the wall.

being able to rant it out to dearie and his constant reminder to stay calm, helped me keep sane.

even though we were both tired, dearie kept me company through the whole 8km run. his presence kept me going. sweating it out was good.

i don't dare to imagine what beholds tomorrow. emails coming in are terrifying because they bear atrocious demands of a confused autocrat. i feel sorry for him because he probably doesn't know what he wants and his emails yell out nothing but "i need attention. i am in charge."

you earn the respect, not threaten to get it.

let's hope for the displacement to take place soon. maybe he'll be less mindless with the handover of the responsibilities.

giant beanstalk

Does its state worry me? Yes, most definitely. Dissecting the reports up only make that huge gash look gorier than ever.

I wonder if they considered the option of folding things up? If not, are they ready to bring in more? It’s like throwing money into a bottomless pit. Will a giant bean stalk spring out and reach into the skies? If yes, they won’t call those stories fairy tales.

It doesn’t belong to me. I don’t get a say. But I know we are standing on shaky ground. It may fall apart any time.

As much as I will want to leave, I can’t. I will have to stay put for now. I hate that helpless feeling. It’s like seeing the grand but not being able to get it. I see other jobs out there but I cannot apply.

Maybe I am waiting for a giant beanstalk to sprout out.

at the end of the tunnel

why am i feeling the light at the end of the tunnel getting dimmer?

the burden at work is feeling heavier. the situation of the company is really not looking up.

i wish i can move on, but i'm somewhat stuck for now.

will there be anything good that might come out of it?

tired to think for now. want to go to sleep early. let's deal with them when tomorrow comes.

new film - i love you phillip morris

saw this film title over a friend's msn nick.

was a little curious and read on it http://gu.com/p/2afjf

the guardian write up is good as it gives alot of real background story into the film.

sounds very much like frank abganale jr in catch me if you can.

these con-men are smart. real darn smart.

where's my exercise

i was suppose to be doing my 强身操 as i woke up too late for run.. instead of doing so i am searching for my yiruma sheet music.

this is one of sauters' upright. how come upright looks so gooooood!!?

Debussy:Clair de lune

beautiful music on an incredible piano.

why do i feel so sore?

i can't play as well.

but i want that piano!

piano that looks so right

how can a piano possibly look so good?

i wondered when will i be good enough to deserve one. then again, when will i be able to afford one?

look at its sexy legs

and its sensuous curves.

piano has never looked so right.

i am going to start to eat air and drink rain water till i have enough to own one! =P

knowing more

a quick entry before i dive into the heap of consolidation work.

i started the day horribly with an obnoxious email, from a colleague whose path i seldom and will seldom want to cross with. i politely explained the hold-up in the reply of his extensively long list of request. i was saved by a director's reply that his request is important but not as important as those which are keeping my hands full for now.

I've read 2 e-books over my kindle since getting it - the story of pi & 5 persons you meet in heaven. now i'm reading the kiterunner.

reading made me want to know more; i read into afghanistan history today. i am a little confused how all the events fall..because there seem to be quite a number of changes in power through the last couple of decades. i have left some wikipedia pages open..but i don't have time to read them now. perhaps i could pick it up over the weekend, when i have more time.

i am focusing my time more on the chopin nocturne no. 20, in c# minor. i am hoping to make it sound good, soon! i have tried my hands on the joe hisaishi song but like most of the songs i play, it's still messy. i printed the chopin impromptu in c# minor (wowoww! i just realised both are in c#minor..i have a strange affinity with this key!) out, after seeing the donnie yen clip john put up. i am a little apprehensive to start on it because it is a difficult piece; the octaves scare me. i'll put that in my KIV tray first until i get my playing more well honed.

alright, better start on my conso now as i am left with another 4 hours before 6. i don't want my weekend to be cut short by this!

solo

times like these i feel very alone here. no one would come and help you because i was the one 'bestowed' the work. it adds nothing to them if they helped.

i am frustrated and upset with the crap system and mentality there.

good organisations should have a set of procedures everyone follows. everyone speaks the same lines and are clear what is required; everyone follows those procedures.

the job discipline (jd) which the new gm said really made so much sense now. this is how good companies do it.

documented and set procedures. kpi to measure.

dearie is right..maybe i am easily bullied. i do start to see that play out. i should be firmer. i don't want to shoulder all that and just suffer in silence.

i believe i can fly

Professionalism.

Meritocracy.

Equal opportunity.

Seniority.

Patience.

I found my short term goal at work for the next half a year. I want to work to impress and earn myself a chance. At least I try, so I have no regrets even if I do not get an open door at the end of the day.

I believe I can do better. I believe I will surpass.

6 months runway for the external audit. It should be another 6 months before the closure of the subsidiary. 3 more months to appraisal. Make it a good run and I hope it will give me wings to take off.

もののけ姫 - 久石譲コンサート2006

sorry can't help but put up another one! i love the er-hu and violin combi..it sounds so tragic..it reminded me of 赤壁...awww!

Oriental Wind - 久石譲コンサート2006

another beautiful song from joe hisaishi. enjoy!

on my to-learn list

this is the new song on my to-learn list. printed one book of joe hisaishi music. wohooo!!

hello grand goodbye upright

As I walked to the mrt station on Friday evening, I called mummy to seek her opinion of my want to buy a piano.

Is it extravagant? I asked.

After the short conversation with her, I decided to head down to try the Hailun pianos out. Met dearie at buona vista and we travelled down to paya lebar.

The owner of the showroom is a knowledgeable man. He offered to let me try all the pianos in the entire showroom. From a 121cm upright to the S$30k Gotrian upright. From the 151cm Hailun baby grand to the 178cm grand.

I was pleasantly surprised how good the Hailun pianos sounded. I did not expect China-made pianos to be so good, given the price tags they came with.

Of course, the Gotrian upright was in a class of its own. I read that it is on par with a Sauter. The price too! This is the best upright I’ve ever played on.

The baby grand was out, though I thought its size fitted our home best. The 161cm was good but I was drawn to the 178cm most. If I had the ability to, the additional 2k to top up between at 161 and 178 is definitely worth it.

We went home that night and started to measure out space for the grand. We moved the dining table inwards, cramped the sofa to the end of the wall and marked out where the grand could sit. We did the same in our 2 other rooms too.

I turned in that night thinking how ‘wow’ it would be to have a grand.

The next morning, dearie shared with me how he felt about getting a grand. Somehow I have to concur to spend S$11k was extravagant. I scrimp and save just to blow it all on a grand at one go? Doesn’t feel too rational to me.

We went to try Cristofori pianos after dinner yesterday. I don’t have anything positive to say about their pianos. Over priced for the kind of quality you are getting. Certainly not worth paying that kind of money for their grands. Good thing I didn’t waste time to go down to try the cristofori grand on sale over ebay.

As much as I wished we could have bought that grand, I also knew i am undeserving of it.

I was thinking about depreciation of a piano. I was told that the Hailun grand could last 20 years. $11k over 20years means my grand depreciates at S$550 a year. That’s $46 a month, $1.50 per day.

Can you imagine the life of the piano ticking away with every second? I was told a good piano can last 100 years, but who would use a piano for 100 years? Some say pianos in humid countries last for a shorter period of time. Is that so?

I read this off pianofinders.com: Vertical Piano Life Do not expect most vertical pianos made today to be as durable or last as long as grands, simply because most piano manufacturers seem to feel that if you are really a serious pianist you will be getting a grand. Consequently, they make the grands more durable, and the verticals less, from what I've seen, especially with regards to pedals and keys and other components that get a heavy workout.

Perhaps getting a new piano will be justified if my current one bids goodbye. Ah hah! So the point is I must practise so much till the hammers wear off. Then it’s hello grand, goodbye upright! =D

so close yet so far

over on ebay, i found a seller who has put up his/her cristofori 185cm grand for sale at 4.3k. i was appalled at how cheap a grand could cost. it's cheaper than a less than 120cm yamaha upright!

i thought i needed to know what's the make of it as i've never encouraged any friends to buy a cristofori piano (be it upright or grand). upon further read up, i found out cristofori grands are young chang oem. young chang is a korean piano manufacturer. interesting.

samick makes cristofori's upright.

cristofori is like a paste-over name.

i dropped the seller a sms to find out the age of the piano and price. he/she responded hours later that he/she is selling it at 4.3k and made no reply on the age.

again i messaged to find out the age and if i could arrange to try it.

no response. i guess he/she isn't too sincere about selling. doesn't bother me. because i'm not a big fan of cristofori's pianos to begin with. it was the price i was tempted by.

i had some discussion with dearie last night and he was against the idea of getting a grand. basically he justified that with his measuring tape and rationalised that we had no space at home. we could probably get a digital piano instead. this morning he offered the option of a silent upright or a yamaha u1.

i find silent pianos over priced. digital pianos i'm tempted with..but as i try to think of my experience with the clavinovas at yamaha, i stopped short.

don't you remember that dampered feeling..like the keys were striking against some cloth? remember how you said a digital would never replace an acoustics?

yea, i remember all that. i've been blinded by a new piano craze to recall how sure i was against a digital piano. i only fancy it's silent and recordable functions.

interestingly, as i read into the piano forums, i found a china brand which was repeatedly mentioned -hailun. i read all the possible reviews and faqs there were within the forum on hailun and found the feedback are pretty positive so far. of course it is still not on par with a yamaha/kawai but for its price, the quality is superb for something china made.

i called the singapore dealer of hailun pianos and gathered the prices for all its available grands (4'1, 5'4, 5'10). i was startled by the prices, they were 50-70% cheaper than yamaha ones of the same length. a baby grand(4'1) costs the same as the clp-380pe! waa..u let me choose, i'll take the baby grand over a digital piano anytime!

add 2k i get a 5'4..which is still a fantastic bargain because a yamaha equivalent costs thrice as much. thrice!

i was literally jumping in my seat because the grand dream seems possible now. i could almost feel the piano right in front of me.

but.

i forgot we don't have the space at home. i even tried to google on 'how to move a grand piano into hdb flat'.

i felt like i've fallen from the sky onto the ground with a big loud thud.

i tried to put things in perspective.

first and foremost, space is the biggest constraint. how am i going to find space to house the piano? that's if we threw the dining table out like dearie said. we simply don't have space in our small little flat.

secondly, dearie is right. grand pianos belong to a big space; like whales belong to a sea not a fish tank.

and of course, my playing does not justify a grand. who would use a grand to make so much noise? those who play on the piano should make beautiful music. i do not qualify a grand at all.

lastly, being a scrooge as always, am i ready to spend that kind of money on an instrument? how long would it take for me to earn it back? i am not some ceo of an mnc who gets millions for annual remuneration. do i not remember that i have just taken a part time job to earn more? (based on my part time job's monthly wage, i will need to work part time on every single weekend for the next 2.5yrs to afford a baby grand)

my heart has already sunk into the depths of the ocean.

conclusion: after all that, the only option is to stick with my upright. maybe till we move in another 5-10yrs' time.

the pic shows the hailun hg161.

saved saving

hoho, finally closed my monthly accounts for sep. record savings! total expenditure is 10% on gross income =D

i keep track of those one-off items in my expenditure and from jan-aug'10 average of 3.75 one-off items/month, for sep'10 i only have 1 one-off item (piano tuning).

ok, i hope that i don't bust my budget terribly next month. there is quite some items on the grocery list this weekend!

open your mind

roubini has become a daily staple; i am still grappling with the broad macro concepts discussed in most of its articles.

i am forcing myself to learn to see things outside the box. gradually, cna becomes less exciting.

i read about china-japan-us relationship and the recent sensationalised spat at diaoyutai. what does US stand to gain from this strained relationship between china and japan? what is holding things in place and helping keep peace?

then we look at interest rates. why keep it low? why raise it high? is US doing the right thing to keep it depressed longer? would that help with its economy recovery? what are the things impacted when interest rates are raised or lowered?

it covers emerging economies in the northern and southern america, which i have not got around reading those yet. i have too much to digest in a short time.

somehow the reality of the world out there makes me feel minute.

how are all these changes in global market forces affecting us? are we seeing them evidently in our daily lives? which direction is the tide turning towards? do you think we will be facing a third depression as krugman says?

for me these questions are thought provoking and things i have not stopped to bother much. i am probably more preoccupied with the little things in life- what to eat, when to sleep and how much to run.

the more i read, the lesser i feel i know. it's like when we start to step backwards, the bigger picture we see and the smaller that initial piece of picture seems on the atlas with everything else. i am taking baby steps backwards now =)

dreaming grand

saw an ad of someone selling his c5 for $33k. i was dreaming the decimal leaped over and it becomes $3.3k.

then i tried to imagine some far-fetched drama lines..a friend or a friend's friend wants to give away his/her grand and i am the proud recepient. can u imagine that?

i better start to befriend more grand owners. =P

why am i still harping on piano? coz it's a dream. we don't give dreams up so easily, do we?

2 in 1

i found a good way to best utilise my time while i exercise in the office during the mornings and lunch time.

i READ!

i lay out my newspapers and i will read while i move around. i might try if i can prop my kindle on the in tray to try read off it later too.

that's a good way to spend my 15-30mins doing 2 things i like. =D

update: propping up my kindle on my intray works! now the 30mins fly by very quickly while i read and exercise.

skill, cents & weight

Checking the online jobs portal is a daily routine. While I look out for job opportunities for dearie, I also check out for myself. I look out for good companies which are hiring. I look out at the pre requisites stated and check them against what I have or do not have. it’s a reality check to ensure I stay relevant and also give myself an idea what are the skills I need to move on to the next level.

I think I deserve a pat on the back as I have made a new high for savings in Sep’10 compared to the preceding months. Notwithstanding the month of may which I made sale of some biking stuff, Sep is a record month for me. Abstaining from shopping really helps. See no evil, spend no money. It takes a lot of self control to be able to resist not spending on needless things. Shopping is like a black hole. Once you jump in, you just keep falling. And it adds up. $10 here, $30 there. When you add them all up, it’s like a couple of hundreds. Gulps. I repeatedly reminded myself to save the money for shopping when I get to travel overseas next year. It will be more worth it to spend on special things which can’t be found locally. I will also have more to spend comfortably.

Can’t help to continue to sniff around for a cheap piano buy. I am hoping for a good deal to fall from the sky. Haha. I earn the right as a full blown cheapo!

I’m into my 3rd week of exercising in the office. An ex colleague actually commented I look bulkier! =( but how come I still weigh the same? Ok, I think the weighing scale is dysfunctional! Must be the mooncakes. Maybe it’s all the rubbish I eat. Hmmpf. Anyway I think I need to face up to reality with a good electric weighing scale soon. Okok, that’s a ‘need’ to be fulfilled in oct!

economics at play

dw recently introduced me to read roubini's newsletters and i've been surfing around his website at http://www.roubini.com/

i've been intrigued by the global economics insight the analysts are sharing.

it made me want to study more on economics! less the econometrics part if i can. hahaha. that's a distant dream for now. i think it is easier reading someone's insight than to formulate that insight myself.

wanted to read on socrates but found no downloadable files to read. i need something easy to understand; dummy's guide to philosophy-socrates.

i'm almost half way through story of pi. i am still amused how a tiger could actually be named richard parker.

there's a new hire in the holding company's finance department. i am guessing she should be replacing the treasury accountant who has recently left.

did i wish i could have taken his place? i didn't think too much about replacing him, but i am still hoping to be part of the holding company instead of being under the subsidiary.

am i happy where i am? i think i need to learn contentment and patience in order to curb the feeling of unhappiness arising occassionally.

just move along. don't think so much. finish the 2 years and i can chart on from there.

road relay and thoughts

the inaugural safra road relay was held at safra jurong today. something i tried to train for but somehow dwindled off for some reasons.

i kind of switched my target this morning. from trying to stay on par with a fellow club runner to not coming in last. that fellow runner actually came in way ahead of me, so i was glad i changed my target to avoid much disappointment. i was pretty glad i came in about 7th out of 12-13 woman's open runners and clocked my best 2km timing of 9.09. =)

dearie's team came in first! yipee! dearie was the last runner of his team and i'm sure he made a grand entry back! i didn't get to stay through the entire race as i had to head off to work at 9am.

i commenced work 15mins after interview, yesterday. the work is pretty simple, hours are manageable and the pay is decent. i'm happy to be generating more income with my time. but of course, that will mean i have somewhat lesser time to spare. the plan is to keep up with the part time till my 2 years at my current company is up. when i move job then, i might give up this part time too.

i am still trying to balance off the things i'll like to do..the things i have and must do.

i'm dwelling in the aftermath of a race - feeling i must train more. i should run more. i should bike more. i should do brick once a week.

hope to start next week right. might want to postpone the meet up with ivy so i can get enough rest before the weekend work. put in all the work. part time work. safra runs. biking on sat. clean the house. cook dinners for dearie. play the piano. read.

so much to do. so little time.

cpi up

how nice, cpi is up 3.3%. is my wage going to move in tandem with it?

it's a game of survival here in singapore.

so it explains for low fertility rates too. with rising consumer prices, everyone is slogging to make a decent living. how to have more kids when some are barely able to make ends meet?

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporebusinessnews/view/1082937/1/.html

worn shoes

My shoes wear off pretty quickly these days. Some can barely last me barely over 3 months. I walk about 50mins a day. 20 mins to and fro home and the mrt. 30 mins to and fro jurong east mrt and office.

I need more durable shoes.

I was hoping to play rebound but I missed the ship. So I have fallen into the sea and waiting for the next ship to come by. =( analysts say the next ships should get bigger and better. Is it true? Shrugs. I am not expecting to find titanic come by.

I am seeing a small glimmer of hope for the part time job I’ve been looking out for. there will be interviews for weekend positions held this and next Saturday. Wish me luck! I really want that job. =)

The urge to buy a new digital piano has died off. But I have started a new quest instead! Haha, this is dumb. I am now looking for a secondhand digital piano, which is not too old (something within 3 years old) and discounted. So I’ve been prowling around marketplaces and forums, waiting for someone to decide to sell his/her digital piano off quickly and cheaply. No rush on this possible acquisition though. i am really looking for a good deal, even though my budget is within 2k.

Budget exercise is coming. Quarter reporting. And soon, audit. I am not entirely excited with them to be honest. More to plan and work to complete the required. Lumbering along.

The tenacity to train for the relay has fizzled off. I think it’s because my target has been moved to another team, and somehow I am sensing some disappointment in her too. but I guess it is only legitimate for the club to try to gather a team to win. For those in that team, they probably shoulder more hopes from the rest of the club than for those running in other teams.

This reminded me of my primary school days. I have never been a talented runner, but somehow I was often roped into sports day events. Reason? Because they needed the numbers to represent the house. I have never made it to the finals, as I was booted out in the heats. So I guess some things never change.

plum enzyme

my plum enzyme tastes really good! abit like ribena and grape wine. yum yum. want to try apple enzyme next!

i'm going to feed dearie with enzyme so we can stay healthy.

i've made some kiwi cleaning enzyme, but as it's made with kiwi skin, the colour is less attractive to the plum enzyme.

red dragon fruit will make pretty enzyme with its red pigment. but red dragon fruit is not common in singapore.

i've been keeping up with my daily exercises in the office since last monday. it's a little too early to see any visible results, but i'm trying to keep up with the routine.

every bit counts

I like the ‘pink sight’ in my bag. My wallet, nano and kindle are in pink. Rapberry pink to be exact. I will be looking out for a pink 2011 diary next year. Maybe I should get a phone with pink skin next year too!

I read the life of pi, by Yann Martel, on my kindle while travelling to work today. I think good authors are people who can make words come alive with words. Just like great musicians breathing life into notes. I like the words I read, and for those 15mins while I read, it felt like the protagonist was illustrating his life by my ears.

I have some trading notes and books in my kindle too. But I think I am happy with fiction for now.

Made arrangement to meet Ivy next Friday. There’ll be another reunion with ex-colleagues this Friday too. It’s nice meeting up with old friends whom we seldom get to be in touch with.

I feel lucky today. The weekend part time job I applied for, came back with a respond. The centre manager dropped me an sms to fix an interview this Saturday. Let’s hope I get this part time job. The only drawback is that I will not be able to travel back to Malaysia as freely as I’ll want to. Nevertheless, I’m sure it can be worked out if I gave the centre manager ample notice ahead of time.

We are only young once. I must make the best of the time I have.

While dearie and I were strolling down to plaza singapura yesterday, we reminisced how hard we worked a few years earlier. We held our full time jobs, took up tutoring assignments and I also did my part time studies. Somehow we knew we needed to earn more in preparation of the wedding, and we worked hard for it. We were often tired then, but we held on. Because it was tough, hence we were cautious on where and what we spent on.

Dearie asked me if it was worth the effort and time to take up this upcoming part time job, which pays almost like a retail job. i feel every bit counts. It doesn’t take up a lot of time, unlike a normal retail job which requires me to stand around for at least 6-8 hours. I think the scope is a manageable one. If I diligently work on every weekend of the year, it will earn me $3k per annum.

Since I know a performance bonus is impossible to have, hence I am working for it by other means. I know I will be at this job for another 1 year 4 months hence the only thing I can probably do is to put all the time I have to good use.

So what even if I am very far from where I want to be. I will get there eventually. I may not have a lot now, but I will get there. Wait and see.

my grand dream

going down to yamaha today made me realise some things in which digital will never replace acoustic.

i may not be a good pianist, but as an amateur, the touch of an acoustic piano has a special place which i cannot find with the digital.

as much as i like the record-playback and plug in functions of a digital piano, i am not ready to part 3 or 6k for them.

the dream is still the grand.

meantime, get my upright tuned. practise. save for the grand.

sorry i kind of wasted much of dearie's time, making him go down to yamaha with me twice..and letting me sit around and play with the pianos.

but i'm glad it's all clear now.

there is none other than the grand dream.

我是宅女！

As nerdy it may sound, i actually delight in spending my saturday and sunday, with dearie, in this order:

1. go out early for biking/running
2. come home read/surf the net/play the piano
3. feel myself feeling sleepy and then nap a few hours
4. wake up feeling like i've just had a great meal.
5. read/online/play more piano
6. have a nice dinner
7. sleep!

no need to dress up, wear make up, trot around..sometimes it can be pretty aimless.

i thought this morning breakfast spent with safra running friends was great.

we'll be heading out for dinner with mummy in a while.

doing the things we love, with the people we love. simple yet delightful. =)

管它宅不宅，开心最重要！！

handyman

my dearie is the handyman of our home. it's good having someone who is willing to get his hands dirty and d-i-y. he fixed 2 leaking toilet systems with just $20.

what are the other things he has done/fixed at home?

1. all the curtains were bought from ikea and fixed up by him
2. the mirror in the master bedroom toilet was drilled and hung up by him
3. all the 6 photo frames you see around the house were put up by him
4. the 2 bike racks
5. he changes all the faulty bulbs
6. my faulty bike lights were repaired by him
7. all the switches are changed by him
8. the shoes cabinet, book racks, study tables and bed frames were bought off the rack and pieced together by him

basically, i'm the maid who cooks and cleans. he's the plumber/handyman who maintains the stuff at home. =D

started loading my pdf books into my kindle. i could even drop mp3 in too! it is so easy to use. just drag and drop. totally dummy friendly!

went out for a bike ride with yenling this morning at 4am. this will probably be the last ride with her before she goes to uk. i am going to miss my biking/running kaki.

of the many 'real' books i have to read, i am down to my final 2. the trading strategies and lky books. it is difficult to bring them around, so i have to find time to read them at home.

yiruma, chopin and pieces played by li yundi have been on my playlist for the past 1-2 weeks. dearie asked me why am i listening to these all the time. i answered that i was drawing inspiration from listening to how the maestros play. though i know i will never play like either one of them but i guess it sets the benchmark on how i should at least try to be playing like.

dearie is right, an acoustic will never replace a digital piano. the few things that will compel me to buy a digital are:

1. i can play, plug in and not disturb others
2. there are different sounds to play around with
3. i can record and playback

but of course, my dream is still a grand. a digital will never come anywhere close to a grand (baby grand is not counted). in fact, digital piano sound sampling is recorded off a grand.

after 2 weeks of deliberation, i think i will drop the idea of the digital after all. firstly it is a want, not a need. a delighter, not a must-have. secondly, the money is better off put into investments to grow into a cannon so i can eventually shoot a grand down. i am relearning the lesson of patience again. lastly, i have a decent acoustic that can see me through at least another 10years. just like a good athlete is not so much defined by the gear he/she wears, but for the hard work, sweat and effort put into quality training. i can have the best piano in the world, but if i don't practise, i will still be making a whole lot of noise. i am learning about contentment in the things i have.

there is a time and season for everything. for me, the time to buy a grand will come one day.

new toy!

it has arrived!

tadahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...oooooooooo!

waseh waseh..this is tricia's fave colour.

and these are MINE! HOHOHO!

dearie is not letting me start it though the battery has flashed green (green means battery full). He said I have to charge it full full before i can use it. It is full, why can't use?! It is really thin. Very compact. Can't wait to continue reading my 'story of pi' on it.

I have so many e-books to read. so exciting. for a moment, i think i can do without a digital piano. the kindle will keep me happy for a long while. =D

worth

Family and friends (apart from those who bike) can't understand why I could pay $6k for my bike. Basic aloeca and momoki bikes are easily available at less than $100. I don't bother to explain the different parts and their costs because to them, so what if it's a carbon frame or dura ace groupset?

Just like a piano. $6k for a digital piano? Madness! You can get a casio one at hypermarts at under $100 too. So what if it has 5 layers sound sampling and 6 amps?

I have been too vain, no wonder i am so poor. I have so much butter and so few guns.

Now i am putting myself in front of the mirror and looking at that reflection. Do i deserve that big fat butter? The answer is a simple no.

I'll be fine after sulking a few days.

Maybe i should use that $6k to buy a new bazooka. Then when i multiply that into a cannon, i'll be able to fire down a gigantic butter like the one in the picture!

need vs want

While i googled on how i should distinguish between a need and want, i chanced upon this

The Gun And Butter Theory(http://www.johnchow.com/the-gun-and-butter-theory/)

some excerpts:

"It’s pretty simple and easy to say that we should all be acquiring guns, because guns make more guns, while Butter just melts. However, most people go through life buying butter and no guns, or they buy butter thinking it’s a gun, when in fact it’s just a very expensive piece of butter."

"Guns appreciate while butter depreciates. Examples of guns include stock, real estate, collectible, anything that goes up in value or makes income (other guns). An example of butter is almost anything in your house, except the house itself."

"When I look at the amount of guns I hold I realize that I really need a lot more if I’m to create the kind of lifestyle I envision for myself. The truth of the matter is, you can’t get there by working – you can only work 24 hours in a day. However, guns make more guns, and those guns make more guns, and so on. Get enough guns and you can have all the butter you want"

So much truth and wisdom in it, isn't it?

I am still trying to get that digital piano off my back, that's like a note thumbtacked into my skin. everything and everyone around me think i should not get it. the price tag with it is crazy. Anyone in the right mind will not pay so much for a digital piano. Just go along with the acoustic..get it tuned and play. What is the fuss?

This is like cold turkey and i just have to hang through this weekend. once the promotion ends i'll be safe.

I sound so miserable, don't i? =(

turtle pace

timing for my 2km isn't improving. i am unable to achieve the timing set. feeling much like a tortoise now. maybe dearie is right, i can do longer distances like half and full marathons. however, when it comes to sprints which requires bursts of energy, i somehow just do not have the fast twitch muscles to do well.

yet, i feel sore. because i want to do better and i don't want to give up without a fight. the relay is in another 1.5wks' time; i have no idea where can i find wings to help me shave 10secs off my current timing. will red bull help?

much thoughts went through my mind during the long management meeting that spanned over hours. one director commented that there is no culture within the company to seek out training and development. people do not find a need to upgrade themselves.

i ran that thought upon myself. when i first embarked on my masters some while ago, i was hungry for growth. i wanted to catch up with my peers and studying was the only option i had that could perhaps aid my chase. i thought about how obtaining the masters could help open more doors, give me more options and leverage my growth.

since graduating, have i seen all that come to past?

i hate to answer this, but somehow not really.

of course there are other valuable knowledge which i have gained from my course of study. but all that may not have been translated into something quantifiable.

i did find a job pretty quickly. i am earning a little more than before. but i am ambitious for more. what do i need to move on to the next level? will i be able to 'earn' my school fees back?

this turtle here really has to pick up her pace. i am not giving up without a fight!

强身操 in office

did 2 sets of the 强身操 during lunch, over 30mins. it feels really good to get moving in the office and i actually perspired from doing it.

want to get this into the daily routine. maybe 1 set in the morning for 15mins and another 2 sets during lunch for 30mins. let's see if it helps me tone up after 1-2months! firstly it's not difficult to follow the clip and all i need is a small space. i don't perspire that much to make me totally uncomfortable but good enough to feel warm with blood circulating to all parts of my body.

so, that's a good start for the week and for the next 1-2months to come.

music that speaks

Reflecting upon the long weekend that has just sped by, I think I have spent it pretty well. Ma and Pa dropped by on Friday and the family spent some quality time together before john left for Switzerland. I am envious how closely knitted dearie’s family is, compared to mine which seemed separated with indifference. I am only thankful for my mummy, the only kin who is indispensible in my life.

I appreciate dearie for accompanying to my mummy’s yesterday. I find comfort seeing her well and to me it is never an obligation to see her weekly. I draw strength from her at times; she continues to brave through unhappiness and stands strong these years.

i spent a couple of hours playing the piano on Sunday. I practiced on a new yiruma piece and got it to sound pretty decently by early evening. I tried playing the piece along with the mp3 playing into my left ear. So left ear was listening to the studio-perfect piece as my right ear tried to listen to what my hands were playing. It helped me to work out the expressions of the piece and gain a quick feel of the speed and mood of the piece.

I practiced my chopin nocturne no. 2 too. It’s been a while since I last played it and watching li yundi play it on youtube inspired me. Not that I want to play like him, which I believe I can’t be in this lifetime. But I feel his playing breathes life into music; life into notes you see on a piece of paper. His fingers run on the keys without hesitation, each note he plays produces not just a sound, it tells a story. I dream of playing music that has life and speaks too.

i did some reading too but I’m still miles away from finishing the book.

Finally got my hands on the exercise clip! Will start doing it during lunch later. I think this is good indoor exercise. Seeing the results pa got from doing it daily is really encouraging.

So there goes long weekend and back to toil at work. Next long weekend to look forward to is in Nov, so that's a consolation.

one more lap

It’s heartening to know that the ninja training with dearie and yenling helped. I have very little time to springboard to keep up with her but I saw the gap narrowed yesterday. I am never a fast twitch runner and I dread intervals. But I just couldn’t let it go without a fight. Well, I am not expecting a swop with her but I want to prove to myself I am not very much slower than her.

I am thankful yenling is helping to pace me along. Running back to clubhouse with her yesterday was great. We picked up speed in the last 1km back and it made me want to keep up. Melvin gave us an earful as it was meant to be cool down run back to clubhouse. Maybe we haven’t pushed hard enough on the track. Haha. But I appreciate having a friend to run with; someone beside me to propel me to my goal. I was telling yenling I’m going to hang her photo in front of me during the race so I will be reminded how hard I would run if she was pacing next to me.

We have a few more sessions before the actual time trial. I wonder if I can improve more to stay on par? How can I beat her? That’s a goal I am working towards for the next 2 weeks.

It was interesting to hear of the power struggle within the company and how a fellow colleague evaluated of the management through the recent years. I am not in the position to comment as I’m fairly new in the organization. I am just hoping I don’t get spun into the whole power struggle, should there ever be another one that might arise in the future.

Tomorrow is the last working day for the week. A long weekend is really nice to have, maybe because I rather stay in bed than stay in office.

enlightenment

just what i needed to be told.

from yahoo finance:

Spending is Never Saving

Many people talk of "saving" when they get a "good deal." However, you really are not saving in such cases; you are spending money. If you do not need the item, or do not even really want it that much, then the spending aspect is even more pronounced. Do not confuse getting a good bargain with actually saving money

so buying the discounted yamaha digital piano is NOT saving. it is SPENDING.

earrings from mummy

my mummy gave me a pair of opal earrings tonight. i feel so blessed. they are beautiful. i will wear them everyday to remind myself of my loving mummy. thank you, mummy! =)

9/10 curry

my rendang-style curry on saturday earned me a 9/10 from dearie! =D i'm working towards ma's 10/10 curry!

the ifs

much of saturday was spent playing the piano. there was an advert on yamaha sale, in the life section of the papers today. some digital pianos are on sale over this weekend.

i looked. i thought. and i dismissed the thought.

i feel unfittingly mediocre. as i thought about my journey in music and how much my mum has put into letting me learn, i am quite a disappointment. i never made it pass the performance dip bar, after spending so many years at it. i played in church for a while, but was never impressive a keyboardist.

i have always been a B student large part of my student life.

i'm a mediocre runner too. not making it to the same team as dearie affected me slightly, but i brushed that off that it is after just a run.

my career feels so so too. nothing great to boast of. in fact i am most of the time reluctant to mention bout my company's name as i doubt anyone would have heard of it before.

a part of me ached. because i am wondering if i could have done it better or more. would it change anything if i have studied harder? or put in more hours into practising my piano? would running more miles make me faster? have i opted wrong to go into social work?

perhaps with all that, i would be better off. maybe i would have a little more. will i be more deserving for a new piano? will my playing then bring justice to the instrument that was made to sing?

Yiruma's music

i have been listening and practising yiruma's music. simple yet beautiful. sometimes the simplest things can be the most moving.