50% now closed

i sat watching this view for almost an hour before i went for my worse interview for this 'season'. i was stumped by the questions fired. i felt i have presented myself badly. she was very direct.

it made me feel sore i have always been from a sme environment. i know i will never be one of those trotting down shenton. so what if i've not been in a huge corporate organisation?

i share this same kind of regret like i've never been part of a large tertiary institution. whenever i drive to ntu to pick dearie, i will feel sore i've never studied in a campus of this size and stature. dearie is like fulfilling my dream right now. =)

i walked out of the interview heaving a huge sigh and feeling defeated. but like i said in the interview, at least i tried. i am really very far from the mark now, but it doesn't mean i will not one day make the mark.

everyone will find their fit somewhere, somehow. i believe i have options and dearie assured me of that too. even if i don't, i still have a job. so i can afford to miss my game this season.

it rained when i walked out, like how i felt. but that's fine. rain brings life. when rain stops i can run again.

so there goes my 50% opened door. probably now shut right in my face.

yin ying has been very nice as we spoke over the phone after the interview. she did mention that she gathered positive feedback from the interview, which i am skeptical of, because she asked a hr lady who was not present. she should ask the hr lady who was there. but anyway, i told her it was a good experience and thanked their effort to help arrange for it.

i got home feeling very tired. my feet felt sore just like my heart felt. the search feels abit too long for me to keep up with. i may just take a break after next tuesday's interview. just stay on for my contractual bonus and see where the tide brings me to for the next few months. sometimes, fighting against it can be very tiring.