Friday, March 31, 2006

yawns. sleepy.

yoko-yokoing my shoulder cap since this morning. koyoked it last night. aw man..after swim training yesterday, my right shoulder was in pain. could barely move it around. whacked too hard for the 100m and 200m..by the time i got to the 500m, i was barely able to move my arm.

keep my fingers crossed for lifesaving tonight..

i soooooooooo need to practise my chin and extended chin tow on someone..but i just don't know whom i can approach to do so. anyone around here who swims and doesn't mind drinking abit of pool water??

managed to clear all the downhill sections today during mountain biking! yipee.. only left with 1 last uphill to overcome. yes, the one near the sewage. i know i can do it, next week i'll continue to work on it.

one last item for the day.. life saving..then it's zoom home..bath, watch the last initial D dvd and go to bed. i'm freaking tired after yesterday night's 4hrs training.

gotten a new bouy from shifu..hopefully that makes kiap-ing of the it for dolphin kick easier.

yawns. gee. i AM tired. -_-

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

it can only get better

call me an addict. i worked myself out till 1230am till my body screamed "STOP IT!" and my mind went almost delirious.

corrine may's journey has lyrics that spoke to my heart. i've changed my blog "preface" to reflect part of the song. i've messed up the order so if you do listen to the song, it doesn't read the way u read it now.

doing a skit with amy and christin for cme talk this afternoon. i'm the kopi soh (coffee aunty)..ho ho ho..really no image! -sniggles- you don't get to wear flip flops and shorts to school all the time!

4.50pm update: Skit went ok. i started my first day of mtb-iking at t15 & BT.. went pretty ok today. definitely much more confident than last thursday. still unable to clear the upslope at the sewage.. but i think at least i had much more control of my bike when i attempted it.

tricia never gives up without a fight. i'll be biking every weekday as i'll be leaving nana in the office. i've got my sidi shoes and helmet in office too.

i thought i did better on the down slopes today. i've kinda got the hang of shifting my weight left and right on the back wheel to keep it down while going down. i'm sure i'll get better as the days go by.

pretty happy with my progress at work. i'm all prepared to groupwork tomorrow. i've got an extra hour..which i will start on the SR materials.

phew. i hope i finish training fast tonight and get to go to sleep earlier.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

on pressure

my brain's spilled and scattered all over the place.

i want to sleep but my mind's preoccupied.

work

training

work

training

work

race

training

groupwork

children's camp


it's scary. kinda feel like trampling into a mangrove swamp. treading through is laborious.

multitasking.

1 window on super kids club

1 window on respect groupwork

1 window trying to blog to verbalise the stress.

i can't sleep.

when i've had enough of it, i'll take flight into the night with my running shoes and just run somewhere.

in the coolness of the night, in the quietness of the empty street..maybe i'll find some solace there.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

i want to cry

could i throw the mountain bike away and just walk away?

could i just stop trying so hard?

why does giving up seems so easy?

why is holding on so tough?

this morning's ride at bt wrecked my esteem. i start to question myself once all over again. can i do this?

one voice says, "give up, tricia. why are u battering yourself like that? take the ez route. throw in the towel. walk away. c'mon, give up!"

another voice says, " this is sooooooo not tricia's style. give up? without putting up a tough fight at least?"

"you sure you can overcome the fear?"

"there has to be a way, isn't it? i haven't tried hard enough."

"i should be out there running. the weather is beautiful."

"i'm tired. i just want to STOP completely."

"another hour passed and i wasted it dwelling in melancholy."

bidded apr2's race goodbye.

when i cannot take it anymore, crying is not a bad thing to do.

Monday, March 20, 2006

hungry gal is an angry gal

i was 1.2km shy of 19.2km. told adrianchum if i did the full 19.2km (that's 9.6km x 2) we would go for ikea hotdogs. however, by the time i ran to chinese garden and back, then grabbed my bag and ran to work, it only brought me to 18km. =( well, if i include the 3.5km i'll be doing in the afternoon, the probably i'll clock sufficient mileage.. but that would lapse about 5hours apart.

lifesaving has so far been good. need to bring a towel all the time to do reach.

training will be on full gear this week. no more dayima to fall back on.

taking groupwork all on my own today as amy will be seeing doctor. touching on coping mechanisms. gathering and stringing my thoughts together now.

zhenghui cut me off in the middle again. argh. it is just getting on my nerves! however as i ranted to God over it..the thought of not imposing and grabbing attention came to mind. the thought of just being by him as a friend seemed more important that just wanting to get his attention. i still look up to him. his passion for ministry, his heart for the youths.. it moves me. we are in the same work, but of different reach. nonetheless, we serve the same God, calling us for the same purpose.

one week late to wish nick happy bday. just wishing him here. not going to send a sms.

shit. i hungry now. brain cannot work. O-O

Saturday, March 18, 2006

in times like these

it's times like these that you start to ask yourself why you do the things you do.

it's almost 730pm and i can feel fatigue setting in quite a bit.

give me a pat on my back so i can go on.

We at the TOP! Posted by Picasa

Vertical Marathon Team "No Mountain Too High!" Posted by Picasa

entry of such

have been really swarmed with work for the past 2 weeks. i could barely keep my head above water!

on top of all the work, training is still undergoing. can be really trying at times.

yesterday was a really long day. 2.30am i was up. 3am out for 6.5km run. 1.5hrs bike. ran to stadium, found it was closed. ran to interchange, got to work by 7am. worked till 430pm, got to queenstown stadium, did the interval training i was suppose to do. hmm..actually it kind of didn't end up as interval.. was suppose to do 20x400m + 1min recovery but i thought 1min recovery would make my tracking of distance tough..so i simply ran 20x400m @ 148-165. after my 3rd lap, i was telling myself, no way am i going to be able to hold through the whole 20laps..probably i'll just do 15..but thankfully, along came this man whom i was able to pace with. hence with him, i ran my full 20laps at the required hrm through out. i maintained at good 158-160 all the way till the end. yay! after which was a pretty challenging training at life saving. we learned a lot of new things, from reach to rope to non contact tow and contact tow. swimming next to eugene was cool. -sniggles-

chum has made leeway for me so i didn't have to pay the fine for postponing my thursday brick to friday. this morning i was wayyyy too tired to complete my 3.5hrs bike. in fact i overslept and woke up late for work! =S

got to make up for my 3.5hrs bike tonight and i have no idea where to go to. well, on the alternative, that's to bike on my trainers at home.

wonderful morning with the 3-on3 basketball challenge. team 857 failed to defend their title, losing to team the highlights. well, i'm sure they'll come back stronger next year, despite the disappointment.

i'll finish work at 4pm. get home before 5pm. run 9.6km from 5.30-7.30pm. bike on trainers, while watching Initial D DVDs for 3.5hrs.

tomorrow it'll be run to SPE pool and 50mins swim.

go for it!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

101% of tricia

been feeling tired. it never seemed to go away since mid week when i was rushing for steady readers materials. spent the weekend mornings sleeping in. i would just wake up but feel totally immobilised in bed. even today, i am still feeling like my bones would be giving way soon.

i really need some bone breaking massage.

or maybe just one full day which i can slumber in bed ALL DAY.

dream on.

i could take time off next week..but i chose to utilise last month's time off for sac and took another half day to practise butterfly. o_o

at this moment, suddenly it feels that i am needing a listening ear more than rest. is that so?

work has been more challenging than usual. alot more responsibilities, alot more going on these days. i certainly do enjoy the spectrum of different work i get to do..but things are happening so fast, i am trying my utmost just to give my 100% in all i do.

spent $60 and saw through a friend. not a bad deal after all.

there aren't all that many friends i can trust these days. people just come and go. for a moment they are there, next moment they are gone. i wonder if i'm like so to others too? that certainly would be the last thing i would want.

vertical marathon later. gee. i'm not sure how it'll turn out. keeping my fingers crossed on this.

i got no idea how i'm going to make up for those trainings i've missed.

will we be doing butterfly tomorrow? i'm still a struggling earthworm!

oh no oh no oh noooooooooooooooooooooo~~~

at all cost.

keep my dream alive. fan the flame.

tell me how can i get my energy back. plug the adaptor to my back?

ok..i'm going to watch the ironman clip now.

let nothing hold me back.

it's 100% for my ironman dream too! =)

Saturday, March 11, 2006

e-x-haustion

i need help Lord! desperately seeking for ideas for children's camp and respect groupwork.

punctuality.

coping mechanisms.

and one girl with mental block.

oh no oh no.

monday's the meeting with christin for the camp and i'm still clueless what i can contribute.

at the back of my mind i've been secretly hoping he would call up and just discuss it through with me. fat hope.

totally exhausted when i got home yesterday. slept. woke up. and i missed everything i was suppose to do. last night, i already knew no way am i going to fulfill all the training.. coz i was aching all over. i suppose i'm just going to do it after work. hope i survive.

trying and bz week. i'm glad steady readers launch went through beautifully.

more materials to prepare. more work to do.

of all the busy-ness and head-spinning.. i am so hoping for a nice embrace..seeking rest in the loving arms of someone who cares.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

giving up?

decided to go for sac after all. i asked myself if i would regret if i let it pass my by. my answer is yes. hence i'm taking the risk..my fate lies in avtar's hands now.. to get me suitable team mates.. and of course, i will be praying that i'll be blessed with team mates who are easy to race with.

keeps her fingers crossed.

i know how badly i need to be riding off road but i'm just full of apprehension. on one hand i really hope to have people i can ride with..coz it can get pretty dangerous riding alone in the trails..but i don't want to let my slow speed hamper the progress of my friends.. weiliang, ken and people are the usual group i ride with..however i feel bad when they have to wait up for me..and i feel worse when i stay back at an upslope hoping by trying numerous times, i would be able to clear it.. they would be there with me.. though they don't have to do so.

once again, i'm at the cross road feeling torn. maybe i should just ride on my own. crash into the bushes once again. cry alone. pull myself up on my own. praying nothing serious would happen.

will be joining shifu's osim class starting next thurs. i don't think i'll be continuing with han.. coz i feel that i want training that would make me whack hard. for that, shifu's new class is right on time. transition is perfect.

don't ask me how i did it. i lost my uob atm card. gee. $5 to replace one. sheesh.

run. tmr is steady run to beauty world. noon run and jog. lifesaving trial at night.

have been wanting to talk to zhenghui for the longest time, but he doesn't seem to have time. whatever. i give up. i hope i find someone else to toss those children's camp, groupwork and ministry thoughts with. don't say you've got time, the truth is you don't. even if you do, you won't spare it to listen to me, right?

was pouring some of my rants to jie today. sigh. after a while we do just give up don't we?

but as i was telling a friend, if it's something within my control, i WILL NOT give up so easily. NOT without a FIGHT.

Monday, March 06, 2006

the snail came in 2nd

ke wei made us swim butterfly. i think i was more like a snail than butterfly. first 4 laps of dolphin kick, i was barely moving. we did 4 laps with buoy and board. 4 laps with just buoy. 4 laps without buoy. 4 laps with the arms and buoy. 4 laps with just the arms. at the end of it, my hips and legs were barely coming out of the water. guess what, that was NOT the end of it! we had to do another freaking 100m sprint. all 4 of us - qiu li (not su li), amelia, chris and i.

lo and behold! i was like freaking tired after the butterfly-snail attempt..another 100m sprint?!? o_O and he told us he was taking timing...woooooooo..

came in 2nd. 2:08. qiu li probably came in 1:40.. chris did a 2:10 and amelia abt a 2:40.

not too bad, tricia.

pats herself on the back.

i'll put in more effort to practise my butterfly tmr. hopefully by next monday, i'll be able to at least be a dragonfly.

checked out this tui-na(chinese traditional massage) place opposite delta pool after swim training. seems interesting. the next time i got a achy-breaky back, i might pop in to get a massage.

tired. i skipped the run and stairs tonight. going to turn in early.

busy-ness keep loneliness at bay.

bidded my osprey bag goodbye on sat. i was left stranded with no big bags to run to work with. on desperate attempt, i nearly mobilised my 3yrs old deuter heavy trans alpine 25.

however, i'm so so thankful justin offered to lend me his salomon bag! it comes with hip and chest straps! woohoo! he came down to rl and passed it to me on sunday..immediately on that evening, it was tested with 9 canned food worth of load in it.

woke up this morning feeling my whole body was going to fall apart. awwwwwwwwwww! tempted, i was, to just message nelson to apply for half a day of time-off and just climb back to bed. but somehow, as i sat at the sofa stoning, i stilll wriggled myself out of the laziness and forced myself to get out of the house. walked to the bus stop before i started a slow jog. it was a mental challenge, more than a physical one.. pushing myself to move despite feeling the fatigue. boy, was it tough! nevertheless, somehow i managed to slowly jog and make my way to work. the salomon bag is sweet to carry and run with. thanks, justin. don't blame me for deflowering it!

i chickened out on mountain biking with weiliang and people. somehow i just didn't want them to end up waiting for me again. but i do know i NEED to mountain bike more as sabah race draws nearer. oh gee.

feeling so torn between working to earn more, trying to find time to go shopping with my mum and training. torn. into bits.

after my first ever game of sudoko, i switched palmy off and just looked out the window of the bus. shona suddenly came to mind. she's a primary school mate of mine, married to my cousin. almost immediately, envy filled every inch of my brain. there she is, same age as me, married to my cousin, who is just someone i would love to marry to. he's just such a gentleman.

and here i am, whining away, feeling for a moment, a void in my heart..wondering if i'll ever find a nice person to marry.

-slaps her own face-

okok, wake up wake up.

busy-ness keep loneliness at bay.

Friday, March 03, 2006


i busted my budget BIG time. but this is what i got. extremely pleased with it. value for money! PALM TX =D Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


cool ya? =) Posted by Picasa

another view of the e2 Posted by Picasa

palm tungsten e2 Posted by Picasa

forgetful me

the day passed really quickly. i ended work at 7pm yesterday, went to the stadium to do my run without my heart rate monitor. interval run. i thought i did it with more ease compared to last week. went home and had a good sleep.

woke up at 730am this morning. yes, i've missed my 4am wake up time again.. but i felt so much more refreshed with a good 8hours sleep.

jogged 4km to work. did another 3.5km during lunch plus 4x20storeys of stairs climb. i am still feeling energised to do more.

nelson reminded me about my forgetfulness and has once again advocated getting a palm. (yea, i forgot to bring coach carter vcd. thank goodness we are only screening it on friday. gulps) i'm currently using a hand written diary..which sometimes doesn't quite serve its purpose if i am lazy to flip it..coz the reminders do not pop right out of the lines i write.

looking at getting a PALM. tungsten e2 caught my attention. it has the functions which i need a pda for. probably go look around funan soon.

will put up some pics to make u all drool with me. heh heh.