学不会

while watching 娱乐百分百, found out JJ will soon be releasing his new album 'Lost & Found'.

Been listening to 学不会over youtube on repeat.

nice.

xmas eve

it is christmas eve. merry christmas to all.

spent the morning cleaning the house. went to work. met mummy to shop. had dinner. walked to cq to help do some despatch for a colleague. and took a long walk from cq to outram park mrt, lugging 2 bottles of shampoo and conditioner in a shopping bag with laptop on my shoulders.

now i sit in front of my laptop drafting a letter for my mum to be sent to mom.

pretty uneventful day. but i did enjoy shopping with mummy. she bagged many dresses that can probably last her for half a year! =) i ranted to her about work and stuff, while both of us chomped down a big bao (which apparently wasn't that big) each. i like times like these because i get my mummy's full attention. life's so busy we don't really get to talk alot most of the time.

i'm glad the day is over. i want to plonk into sleep quick while awaiting for tomorrow to come. i am thankful for yenling, who is willing to spend the christmas weekend with me. if the weather holds up, we'll be running at mr, go for a good bfast before checking into citadines at 2pm. after that we plan to roam town.. let's hope we get to go for the morning run on monday to marina barrage too.

it's back to work on tues. back to the heaps of reports to clear.

kafka on the shore

done with the bloomberg mag and i'm back to my fictions.

next up, kafka on the shore by haruki marakami.

is it time to set resolutions for the new year already. i can't remember if i made any at the start of this year. i probably wished i could do well in this job and rise through the ranks. seems more unattainable now, just want to hang on and survive through the stipulated term.

my brain feels tired. i need to hold through this prolonged ot-ing nights for another 2.5wks.. i can't wait for the long weekend. the stack of work will welcome me back next tues.

back to finance

done with never let me go. it's a good book in its own sense.

now back to some decent finance reading. on with bloomberg markets nov'11 edition, courtesy of dearie from his school's library.

after that, it'll be kafka on the shore. =)

holiday tomorrow. it's been a very long week. tired. dying for a break. and really want to catch up with abit of running too.

yay..shopping too! =)

is it dawn yet?

i'm so done with the twilight series. concluding note: draggy. i got so bored with the whole storyline by eclipse, hoping for something better in breaking dawn. i was sorely disappointed. i have no idea how the story went on and on with the most uninteresting details..and such a bo liao fanfare of the volturi and the cullen gang. i'm just glad the series is done and it definitely stirred no interest in me to pay and watch the movie for now.

alright. so the next book on the list was actually this: never let me go but the pdf version i have in my kindle isn't in that a readable form. the font seems a little too stretched and i am not able to find another copy of it. sigh.

perhaps it'll be kafka on the shore first, till i find another copy of never let me go.

Update: Found a readable version! yay! so it's never let me go FIRST!

finding the lost

i thought about the old things i used to write and posted on diary-x. those were the time i was more literally inclined. i wrote better prose and sometimes in riddles. i remember writing short stories which i thought were pretty nice.

diary-x on wikipedia

"Diary-X (commonly abbreviated dx) was the name of an online journaling service which allowed Internet users to create and maintain a journal or diary. It was launched in 2000, and between half and three-quarters of its users were between 14 and 19 years old.Basic use was free, though for a small fee users could email their entries. The creator and webmaster was Stephen Deken. In early 2006, the server's hard drive failed. Since there was no backup, the entire website and all of the users' diaries were lost irretrievably^"

^{yea..that was about the time i started blogger.com.. i wish i had saved a copy of those things i wrote on my hard disk. argh.}

breaking down next

i thought i can save the last portions of eclipse for my journey home this evening. guess i was eager to read how it ends.

i'll start breaking dawn this evening.

the movie puts faces to the characters in the book; pretty faces i must admit. however, the book contains more details than what those faces can personify. in the book, bella was torn and that internal struggle she puts up between 2 loves, i think the movie didn't quite bring that out well. bella in the movie feels abit too distant and acts indifferent to how she feels towards jacob.

anyway, i thought it's a fresh storyline of a romance triangle between characters of a different world. surreal yet attention grabbing.

i think i've been talking alot about books on my blogs recently. what a nerd i am! i am glued to my kindle the moment i board the mrt till the time it reaches my stop.

weekend is here! rifle range! bt timah walk? or just bum at home!

let's go for a walk some time

whenever i fish out my kindle from my bag and start reading, i feel enclaved into another world. stepping into this warped world of literature.

loaded my kindle with my books by jap writers. revving to finish eclipse followed by breaking dawn very soon.

work is starting to step up as it moves into the year end. i am wondering if i should pack a sleeping bag and supplies to work. it may just come in handy soon.

been wanting to plan out some races to do with yenling but haven't got into the right frame of mind to do so.

want to make time to go for a walk at bt timah. can't remember when was the last time i went there. i kind of miss mountain biking there..but i think i lack the courage to 'risk' my life/limbs in such manner these days. i was lucky that fine day, back 6 years ago.

alright. time to get to bed and snuggle in with dearie. =)

eclipsed

i'm 2/5th done with eclipse book. the movie is not totally true to the book. apart from ommisions, the movie makers made some changes to the storyline too.

i should be in good progress to complete the book by end of this week.

next up is breaking dawn.

then i start on japanese writers: starting with some books by kazuo ishiguro, recommendation by yenling.

mono at part time

i'm feeling like i'm suffering from mono with this part time job. just a little burnt out.

yenling and i have made plans to spend christmas together. we'll be extending the invitation to isabel too. it'll be like a girls night! hopefully bel doesn't bring her beetroot salad to the party..haha

what should i do? stop? quit?

i'm somewhat unsure how dec will look. pretty sure i'll be busy with work, ot-ing daily for an extended period of time.

i do not actually need the money that badly. it's extra pocket money and it's pretty brainless work too. just that sometimes the sacarsm from the boss can be a wee too much. on top of the flashing of her xx carat diamond ring (which almost blinded me under the sunlight) and gawdy fashion show parade of her branded bags.. all that in rojak comparison of how calculative and mercenary she can sometimes be.. shrugs. i try not to think about it too much into it.

yea, maybe i should not think so much about it. just move along for now. it's not painfully unbearable, yet.

eclipse next

i'm done with new moon. i thought the movie got a little draggy at the end, the book is way MORE draggy! but i think reading is alot less yawn+sleep inducing than actually seeing actors and actresses put up a show that making way too many detours.

i thought the twilight series started well with the first. the story kind of plunges into a boring drag in the 2nd. now i'm on to the third. not particularly excited about it; i'm reading it more because i want to finish what i started. a story should have an ending. i want to read the series in totality.

i'm giving myself till end of next week to finish eclipse.

the kindle is the best thing in my bag right now. without it, i will not be able to devour so many books. it's a gem!

read liberated

i never noticed how reading can be..liberating.

i can be that pair of eyes looking at someone's life. i can almost hear the protagonist's heart speak from the words. for a moment, i can almost feel like i'm standing at the cliff's edge. the next moment, feels like i've got a vampire breathing down my neck.

knowledge sets one free too. being in the know. understanding why things happen the way they do.

i've almost cleared out that stack of old newspapers underneath my workstation. i'm only left those dated a month ago. it should all be done by tomorrow.

i'm more than 60% done with new moon. i'll try to finish it by sunday. watch eclipse on sat or sun then read eclipse. the plan is to read breaking dawn..because it'll be a long while before i'll be able to catch the show itself.

the next 2 books will well bring me to somewhere close to year end closing, by then, i'll be so stretched at work to have much energy left for reading.

alright.. time to look into the cfmas exams which could be the new goal for 2012. fics..cfmas. hmm..next year might be a busy year!

seven billion

un leader, mr ban ki moon, has this to say on the birth of the seven billionth child.

where ever he or she is born, "will be born into a world of contradiction". "plenty of food, but still a billion of people going to bed hungry every night. many people enjoy luxurious lifestyles, but still many people are improverished".

"Seven billion people who need enough food. Enough energy. Good opportunities in life for jobs and education. Rights and freedoms. The freedom to speak. The freedom to raise their own children in peace and security."

"Everything you want for yourself - seven billion times over".

wow. seven billion.

7,000,000,000.

new moon

done with twilight. the movie was pretty true to the book. a sweet romance novel.

i'm suppose to slot a non fiction book between this but i think i may just end up with new moon next. haha.

not so lucky

i had 100/1500 chance of winning something..but i got none. -pout-

ok, i have to admit i never had luck with lucky draws.

the d&d programme was a little boring. the food was alright. the company was good though.

winning the lucky draw would have made the uneventful night fantastic.

bare some fangs

i am behind target for twillight..only slightly more than half way through the book..but i'm enjoying the book..it's one of those nice lovey-dovey romance novels..though it still lacks that sweep-me-off-the-feet kind of tryst in the judith mcnaught novels i love. maybe vampires and werewolves feels much too surreal..too far fetched than the dukes, knights and medieval dudes..

so target has been moved backwards to next week.

oh ya..review of the high fidelity movie we caught over last weekend.

it has 50% less vulgarities..it put up about 85% of what you can read in the book. overall a pleasant movie though dearie fell asleep half way through it.

twilight up next

this is next on the list. target to complete by end of the week.

maybe i'll hop back onto the catch me if you can bandwagon..then hobble back to this series again.

let's see how it goes.

after seeing so many good playing on the guitar through the weekend, i have an impetus to take guitar lessons..progress on from my G-C-D chords. then again..playing the guitar hurts my fingers. i get this tender to touch on my fingertips before hard skin starts to form. it makes playing the piano uncomfortable after playing the guitar. argh. i think i'll stick to listening to guitar music for the easier way out of things. hahahah

high fi done

High Fidelity done. funny book in a crude way. it was like reading into the author's mind.

what's next? should i start my twillight series now?

next: high fidelity

a whole new mind done. today i started high fidelity (paperback).

target to finish by end of this week or beginning of next.

i want to read my twillight series after this.

hoho, when are my finance books going to be next in line?

good quote from a whole new mind

The capacity to see the big picture if perhaps most important as an antidote to the variety of psychic woes brought forth by the remarkable prosperity and plentitude of our times. Many of us are crunched for time, deluged by information, and paralysed by the weight of too many choices. The best prescription for these modern maladies may be to approach one’s own life in a contextual, big-picture fashion – to distinguish between what really matters and what merely matters.

half way through this book and i've got to many good quotes to keep.

ahh..i want a copy of this book for keeps!

wowow..i'm onto the last bits of the book and u know what? daniel pink (the author) actually made reference to viktor frankl and his book, man's search for meaning. that was the book i read right before this.

i love reading! =) especially when i get to read and listen to mahler's symphony at the same time. hohoho!

a new mind?

completed man's search for meaning.

onto a whole new mind in HARDCOVER. it's so un-tricia to be lugging a hardcover in her bag.

got to read 6 pages of catch me if you can. interesting read. that will be next after this one.

no blackie. i need meaning.

1/3 through with the black swan and i gave up. it is beyond me. clockwork orange made better sense than this book. this is a far cry from fooled by randomness. this was one of the very few occasions which i didn't even bother to browse through the rest of the book and simply closed it shut (literally, because mine was in soft copy).

i thought i wanted to read something which made more sense, so it's on to this.. man's search for meaning. =)

night review

i finished Elie Wiesel's Night. It is a great book! =)

Found this photo which was described in the book, the gate to the camp which bore the words "Arbeit Macht Frei" (it means Work Sets You Free). How oxymoronic.

Next book, back to The Black Swan.

i got deviated from the next book on the to read list. this is because i spent lunch time reading up about holocaust (just to give me a better understanding of the context which diary of anne frank was written in).

i googled for "good books on holocaust" and found out i have one ebook in my kindle which was rated quite well! therefore, taking a skip from the black swan, my official next read is this:


not a very thick book..so target to complete this by mid or late next week.

read

completed this after a break from it for mags:

this is next on the line..managed to find a soft copy which i can read over my kindle. target to complete? end of the month. will update my next read soon!

define success

a recent sense of aimless awakened me to find goals for my time in the company.

i walked through a shopping mall on the way to my part time work; i was surrounded by youths. it reminded me of my younger years which don't seem too far off. my mummy has never given me excessive pressure on how i should perform in school, but just reminded me to always do my best.

i listened to the standford's commencement speeches steve jobs and oprah made.

he talked about connecting the dots, that we cannot see into the future how things work together. we only start to connect the dots when we look back.

a good education opens doors. i sat on a table with bankers over dinner, one of the analyst (presumably the lowest tier in investment banking) was an imperial college graduate.

while i try to tell myself, how successful you are is not determined by that college certificate (looking at the richest people in the world, not many even graduated from college), but the truth is good education will give you some form of leverage in life.

i haven't had a fabulous education which i can flaunt of but i hope i can still do some catch up now. i am not sure if my non-confrontational personality will be good as i move on..yet i know i don't want to become someone i am not.

ok, back to goals. my short term goal while i serve my "term" is to read tenaciously. i want to devour as much publications as i can. i'm almost done with my outdated bloomberg markets mags, though old editions, still contain relevant information. my company has a library with a reasonable collection of books, open for staff to borrow. i think i should make use of that resource. as dearie works in a tertiary institution now, that literally means i have greater access to even more publications. after i finish my current to-read-list, i am getting dearie to help me borrow bloomberg markets mags regularly for reading.

i've started my garang guni work in office again. i've been getting colleagues to pass me old newspapers which are due for disposal from the racks. those are usually straits times and business time which are 3-5days old. i collect them in a neat pile underneath my table and i read them over lunch. apart from the news websites, these are the sources of current affairs updates. ahh..so much to read but so little time. did i say i want to start reading chinese papers too? never quite got around them too! (haven't seen chinese papers in the office too)

i've been penning my learning into emails and sending them to dearie and bro. i hope i don't bore them off..but i think sharing it helps me learn better..

i listen to definitions of success. everyone define success differently to much extent. i think i should be working harder to earn more. i think i should be saving more. i think i should be more aggressive at work.. but looking back at it, at the end of the day, does it give me the success..or "success" in inverted commas? somehow, i think being happy is important. i am happy when i get to tinkle the ivories..i am happy when i can go for a good run.. i am happy when i can cook for dearie and he finishes all the food. i am happy when i can spend time with family.. do all these fall into the definition of success?

don't want to think too much. i'll just keep up with my learning and reading.. let's see where the road leads to. =)

cert collector

it has been another draining week at work. the long nights make the work feel like it's never ending. let's hope this ends in another 1-2weeks because those involved are over whelmed by the blistering speed reports have to be handed in.

it made me wonder how we can do things better and of course faster.

it made me think if i can do this for years to come.

a recent discussion with a new colleague made me feel life has to be more purposeful than just getting by. i am irritated by the term "cert collector" she used, because i value the learning process over that piece of paper. she probably thinks why have i attained so much academically but still not doing fantastically in my career development.

honestly, i must agree that good career development requires more than just academic qualifications. i have cornered myself by choosing to join my current job. i have no choice but to stay on and make the best of my time here. i tell myself repeatedly, next time it has to be a step forward, no more stepping backwards or staying on the spot anymore.

should i do the cfa is still a question mark. it's more a structured learning than actually getting that title itself, because to attain the title will be almost impossible for now given that i lack of the 4 yrs' relevant experience.

while i get this all figured out, i should be working on my financial model now (stilll not done and it's due soon!)

absolute randomness

This blog is so out of date. Will it become obsolete soon? I hope not. Things that we don’t constantly keep up with, tend to get phased out unknowingly.

So here I am, at my part time job, thinking how to start on my financial model. I have no idea where to start. It’s easy to take someone’s model and start changing improving..but to build one up from scratch is tough.

I have this long list of things I classify as I should do. But how many of those am I actually doing..eh.. I’ll rather not count. At this moment, the only thing I want to do is go home, laze around with dearie and sleep through another 2-3hours.

Last week at work was a tough one.. going on course for 3 days and having to go back to office every day after the course. I was feeling penalized for going on course. Nevertheless the course was enjoyable and I certainly learnt much.

The poa assignment didn’t quite work out in the end, too bad for a short assignment which could give me some additional earnings.

I am expecting a tough 2 weeks ahead. With the board paper and board meeting presentation slides due just a day apart, it’ll be like chasing after a mrt. But whatever it is, I just hope to do a good job which will earn me a decent appraisal by year end. After all, my bonus hinges on all these.

My sweet sour fish didn’t turn out fantastic last week. I hope the curry fish will be a better attempt tonight.

I better start working on my model now. No time to lose!

finally!

after talking about this for a long long time..i'm finally getting a dream come true. it is out of luck we chanced upon this buy..we are getting it less than half price for a 4 year old baby grand.

i'm excited..though i am also jittery about how i will justify buying it. it just means i will have to work another 1.5years of part time to fully recover this. for something like a piano, there'll be no economic return. it is not income generating; only noise generating in my case.

i think it gives me something to look forward to at the end of every work day. i'm not particularly excited by work these days. i feel happy thinking about coming home to see dearie.. to go for a run.. to have dinner with dearie and john. not forgetting to play the piano too! it's about finding joy in life. i think what brings joy is definitely outside the office :)

grand cycle

Whenever i listen to Yiruma's music, I will start browsing soft forum and ebay for 2nd hand pianos. And I'll have an urge to lay my hands on a piano and start practising the same pieces.

I'll always start looking at digital pianos for their affordable prices. But I always start shrugging them off as they can never sound like acoustic ones.

Then I drool over the nice grand Yiruma plays on.

Then I dream I have one like that.

Then I snap back to reality that I will never play like him nor will I own one. =(

in part

dearie has been persuading me to quit the part time job as he thinks i should have more time to rest. i can't decide.

i took up the part time because i thought i should work harder and earn more in whatever ways i can. moreover, dearie was doing his masters and spent many saturdays in school. i could better utilise my time by working. however, dearie has completed his masters now but i'm still working on both sat and sun.

haven't had much luck with tuition assignments; this will be a good alternative to the current part time job.

the expectations of the part time job is being raised repeatedly recently. these days i will receive sms during weekdays, telling me to do this..do that..i remain clear cut that i do not do part time work during weekdays, as i am paid by my full time job to do my full time work. part time work does not cross that line. dearie reminded me to be firm on that, as once i gave in to it, it will not end. it just adds on. i tell myself, i will do whatever i can within that 4 hours which i am paid to work. whatever else, i must remain pragmatic and hold my ground.

i am looking forward to the centro run coming later this month. these short breaks give me a breather from work.

need to plan for my mandatory block leave soon.. whenever i tell dearie i need a holiday, he'll reply, "just quit your part time job." =|

holidays have been put on hold for now..got to start saving again.

thinking twice, i should hold on to the part time job. every cent counts. happy or not, so long it pays, just work.

when the going gets tough

the last 2 weeks has been extremely trying. the only thing i look forward to every night is for that warm embrace waiting for me at home. sometimes he cooks me marvellous dinners which warms my tummy and my heart.

it is when you are tired, you realise there is someone who is propping you up from your back. sometimes while supporting me, he gives me a nice massage on my shoulders.

i like burying my face on the contours of his shoulder and neck. i am just thankful for having him around.

he tells me don't give up. keep my spirit up. try my best. he reminds me, don't worry, he will take care of everything else.

it brings a smile on my face all the time. =)

factor x

there were many races in the past weeks and months. facebook seems really hyped with many personal bests, victories and completions.

but we are not part of those.

while others celebrated, we also had reached another milestone. i think it marks alot for both of us. it's evidence that we are slowly building something; that one step at a time we are scaling the hill. we may just progress to a mountain in near future too.

it made me feel i must be working harder. i am only young once. this is the time to really work and make my mark. not wait till i'm old and then lament i have not accomplished much.

we will and must achieve more in time to come. =) life has moved beyond just races. i think there are also other very important 'races' we must embark. for those, the distance is x.

ABC treat

our ABC treat for the A-boy!

bro and his chicken cutlet. he called it sinful!

dearie enjoying his chicken cutlet as always :)

i picked the 'less sinful' chicken chop. at least it was not swimming in oil before it came on my plate.haha!

clearing it out of the way

yay! what an accomplished weekend.

managed to close the year-end books for my mummy, filed the eci and i've just completed the tax computation. last step is to print everything out, check through, get her to sign off and then send it in to iras.

for something i've been putting off for almost a month, i'm glad i got around doing it. kick that lazy bug and once i start on it, i must finish it.

at least i know i can totally focus all my time on work now, without having to think about all these outstanding things which i must do but just too lazy to sit down in front of the pc after work each day.

so let's see, check them through during lunch time. bring them all down to mummy by tuesday or so.

last item on the list is to file the annual return which is just click click click..nothing to file since we are an exempt company. and that completes the entire reporting cycle.

if i can wake up early on tomorrow, perhaps i should go to office early and get these done first thing in the morning. then i can start working on all the board papers from tomorrow onwards.

well done, tricia. i deserve a pat on the back!

opportunity

should i go back to office later after i knock off at kip? i still have alot of things to look at and study.. but i'm feeling if i stepped back to office, getting out of it in 1-2hours will be difficult.

dearie and i did a 5km time trial. i think my pacing went all hay wire without a watch. started way too fast and i was struggling badly to keep up by the 7th lap. i am thankful dearie kept me company for the last 2 laps. at the 10.5 laps, dearie called out 23:20. maybe i was feeling delirious, i actually told myself let's try for 27min, without thinking i only had 3:40 to complete 800m. that means i must run 1:50 per 400m. i was too tired to actually do the maths then; i overestimated myself. i completed the 5km at 27:30, feeling a little disappointed i didn't manage to come in before 27. nevertheless, dearie said it was a good effort. at 2:12/lap is nothing to be proud of, but i will try to do better next time!

next time, i must bring my watch so i can keep tab of my pace. =) we'll be gradually increasing the time trial to 10km when we approach closer to our race. i'm not targeting for any pb this round as i've been busy with work to train properly. i just hope to keep at a 6min pace for the least through the race and complete the 12km run within 1:12!

the pace at work has been revving up. apart from the quarter close that's coming in another 1-2 weeks' time, i've been tasked with new responsibilities. i was initially left out of the quarter reporting but was later given a chance to be a part of it. i'll be thankful just to start off with slides or a small role but i was instead given a 'meaty' role - financial analysis of trust expenses for board paper queries. as my colleague took the time to go through the gist of the role, i am seeing pieces of the puzzle fall into place. i see how my treasury portion come into the picture with the rest of the analysis. the whole process will be painful and tedious but i am invigorated by the challenge.

sometimes we just need someone to give us the opportunity. and i am very lucky to be given the chance. now it's up to me to do a good job and impress.

after penning these, i ought to go back to office later and start going through the work. =)

bum bum

bummer must be my last name.

i've got a long list of things to do but my brain is in hibernation mode; don't feel like doing anything.

it's like the monthly carried down brought down thing. i keep pushing it off to the next day. man, i hate my darn attitude.

no potential part time to take up. the door to the group tuition seems closed for now too.

i need to find other avenues to get around this.

but first i need to quit bumming around.

rediscovered

we are rediscovering the joy, pain and alot of persipiration of interval training.

both of us felt the same way yesterday. bones are falling apart!

no pain no gain?

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying

heard this song in the american idol finale. the lyrics are very meaningful.

He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And man I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

smiley meal

dearie said i must post up photos of the smiley meal he cooked for me =) it put a smile on my face when i saw this!

this was my candlelight smiley meal =) cute isn't it?

vesak day

dearie said my blog lacks of some food photos - good hawker food and home cooked ones.

so here's one post with some food photos.

today's vesak day and it has been a very well spent day for me.

we hit the trails at mr today. 11.5km for me, 15km or so for dearie.

nothing can be better than a good meal after a good run. we headed to tanglin halt road, our new breakfast haunt. instead of the usual min jian kuey and chee cheong fun, i had the lor mee and dearie had the char siew rice. my ratings for the foodie there as follows:

the min jian kuey is great! the peanut filling overflows from the freshly made kuey. the best i've eaten so far.

handmade chee cheong fun. not bad too but dearie finds it too salty. for $3, it comes with a bowl of porridge. great deal.

lor mee, not fantastic for me. old changi road lor mee still stands best for me. this one pales to the clementi one, in my view.

char siew-xio ba rice! the charsiew and xio ba are delectable. better than the jurong east one. hoho. i can't remember if this is better than the muar one or not. hmm!

kopi and teh at the end of the meal. 70cents each. cheap and nice. i love the mixture of condensed and evaporated milk. it gives the kopi and teh a nice milky taste.

we shopped ikea and queensway after breakfast. dearie and i tried the sky speed and cumulus 12. both are great shoes. we can probably budget them into the next few months' expenditure if we are keen to get either pair.

we talked about tidying the house and got to work immediately once we got home. dearie packed the storeroom while i cleared the guest room and 2 wardrobes. proud of myself with all the tidying and throwing. it's good to do housekeeping because we tend to unknowingly accumulate unnecessary things. we threw out a few bags of old unwanted things. packed old clothes into bags to be sent off to salvation army over the weekend. with the help of a few containers/baskets, i managed to organise quite a bit of things. i finished all with vacuuming and mopping up.

as we did not have lunch, we had early dinner. i attempted to cook tofu-chicken patties but they turned out pretty ugly. no photos taken. dearie still ate them all up despite their not-too-pleasant look. i think i should stick to my usual mcpork patties.

all in all a public holiday well spent!

small like a single grain of sand

the immersion programme has been great so far. enjoyed the property run on day 1. gained much from the presentations by different business units' senior management.

the same thoughts and emotions flooded me again. feeling all small and insignificant, hoping i could do more to contribute to the big picture.

what is evident is the dynamism of the business and scale of the organisation. but i cannot exactly picture where my position is in the midst of it.

what value do i bring?

i know what reports i need to complete. i know when i need to complete them. i know who are helping me make sure i get them done. i know when i need to start placing out funds. i know who i should call and who will decide on the tenor. i think the work is some what defined. yet, what can i do to add value is not defined. perhaps i think too much. just do my job and get paid. simple isn't it?

there's something in me that tells me i must aim higher. i don't want to spend the next 5-10years updating spreadsheets. i don't just want to be just someone who ensures i close my books on time, get my reports out on time and updates cashflow projections. i hope one day i can be that someone who can stand on somewhere higher and make significant decisions. but i ask myself how far is it from here to there? how to get there? when can i get there? what must i do to get there?

unlike studying, i know how many modules i must complete. i know what are the assignments and exams i must clear. i know definitely when i fulfill the required credits, i will obtain that qualification. but now for career, it is not so. it's so fuzzy and you can't even see what kind of a path you are going down. will it hit a dead end? could i be merely walking on the spot? am i being impatient?

a mentor will be really good to have. someone who has gone down the same road and walked out of it well.

someone who can tell me, i am just a grain of sand, but i am part of something bigger.