the pursuit to weigh less

Today’s the last day of july..before we move into august. We’ve gone by 58% of the year already. Wow. how time flies.

I feel fat today. Been eating a lot since dym came yesterday. I am telling myself to keep my mouth closed to food until 6pm when I will have oats before tuition. I’m trying out my new PINK thermos flask which dearie gotten for me and I’ll be having instant oats and honey for a healthier change from bread. Bread is expensive ($2.40 for the usual mushroom ham loaf I have) and it’s not healthy.. I feel guilty gobbling it down before tuition..especially when I don’t exercise on the day itself.. =S

Yesterday we had our inaugural mid week runfanatic training at spe.. it was tough..at points I found myself at the brink of collapsing because I was so out of breath. But I’m thankful sham ran with me through the arduous 10sets of 150m. by the time I hit my 7^th lap, my legs were feeling much like lead. I attempted to widen my strides but found it impossible..i could only try to quicken my steps as I was struggling to even lift up my strides. Gee, I do need to work on intervals more. I believe I’ll get stronger..so I’m not giving up here.

I shall do my recovery run tomorrow morning..tonight I want to finish off the cleaning and ironing because I’ll be having lessons from fri to sun. I don’t want to tax dearie with the housework as he’s got to do his assignment too. Don’t worry baby, I’ll clean the house and whatever required, so sat you just got to help me with the laundry. =) dearie’s a gem because he always helps me with the housework when I have to study..the last time he tried to do so, he hit his foot against one of the doors and it swelled up badly. =(

I feel tired today..somehow my brain isn’t working that well.. I’ve got to go through 1.5 chapters more of stats..do the assignment for discussion tomorrow..and for work, finish most of the closing so I can breeze through the next few days. Now already feeling sleepy..jia lart. Maybe I need some tea-power…

Ahhh.. I’ve downed a big mouthful of tea and I’m feeling better already. More awake. Getting a little reliant on it but I’m popeye who need spinach power at times.

Mental note for today, I plan to finish closing by 2pm. Come out with the necessary reports and schedules. Then I want to study from 2-4pm. 4-5pm I want to attempt stats question.

During lunch I want to read my paper, read biz times and prepare a little for tuition. Wonder if I can find any interesting poems..hmm.

Tonight is tuition till 830pm. Walk home by 9pm. Clean the house and iron clothes, finish all that by 10pm. Wash up, settle in and sleep by 1030pm.

Tomorrow morning I plan to run at least 5-7km. after work, pop into mum’s to get the cheque and tapao food in my thermos flask. No time to eat because I need to rush back to the admin office to hand in the cheque and assignment cover sheet to Hang before 7pm. Lesson till 10pm..then dearie will pick me and head home.

Sat is training at ngee ann as usual. Lunch at clementi..then head to school lounge to study since I’ll most probably be early. Lesson till 8pm then meet dearie at mum’s, I reckon. have dinner, head home and have an early night.

Sunday, I’m hoping we can workout a bit before indulging in icecream. Dearie said we’ll be having swensen’s because we just received gift vouchers from great eastern which entitle us to free sundaes!

Have I mentioned I really do need to lose a little more weight? I am really struggling to do so right now but I hope to achieve that before photo shoot in sept. I’ve got slightly less than 2 months to do that.. found this running programme to lose 5 pounds from runners world and it’s perfect..because that’s exactly the amount I need to lose – 5 pounds (2.27kg). I’m hovering around 46kg the last time I weighed myself.. I want to look pretty on the photos..so I must try to shed abit of my flabs..control control..must watch my diet too.. argh..girls and their constant pursuit to lose weight. Haha. It’s never ending isn’t it? =P

hui si's bonus card

look! i made a bonus card for my student..i stole the picture from pixelgirl and added her name to it..i like it sooooo much i'll like to keep it for myself..hahaha..hope this will help motivate her to finish the homework i assign to her.

for every homework done..she gets a sticker! at the end, x number of stickers will earn her a present..probably a box of coloured pens or something like that. =)

quzzing mind

Haven’t had time to type a blog entry for update since last week. I’ve been pretty busy – utilizing my time well on study, work and of course, learning new things.

I’ve been focusing more on studies and tuition, finding time to revise stats (which I am very weak in) and preparing tuition materials. No more job hunts for me at the moment as I have somehow devoting my time into getting my studies done well. I do still pop into jobstreet every now and then..but that’s just to see if lady luck knocks on my door, for a desired position in a esteemed company.

In pursuit to get my studies done in the stipulated 1.5years I have set, having complete the ethics module yesterday (acca sent me the cd-rom and I went through it), I am now determining if I should allocate some time into research and get the degree as well.

first and foremost, I do have to find a mentor. I took the initiative to email mr thong, though not the best stats lecturer, is a knowledgeable phd holder who devotes much of his time in research. Hearing him mention about corporate social responsibility struck a chord in me as one of the topics in the research paper is on corporate social responsibility. Subsequent to hitting the dead end on my first research, I do think I am slightly wiser in choosing my research topic.

Challenge of the research is that it must be focused on one organization, which to me is deciding factor that makes or breaks the research. First, as it’s targeted on 1 organisation, the information gathered must be of research value, things that we can’t already gather from a click on google and everyday magazines.

Constraint 1. unless I’m with the company, else getting access to more information would be tough. No way am I going to do the research on my company as there isn’t much I can see my company do about corporate social responsibility. moreover, our management does not pro-actively participate in the development of employees. i won't be getting a lot of help from them should i even embark on a research of my company.

What company should I be focusing my research on? how can I gain access to more information? Journals? Internally circulated memos?

Constraint 2. if mr thong isn’t keen to be my mentor, whom should I then approach? Sign up with the school and pay about $500-750 for 3 meetings and guidance from a school lecturer? Is it worth doing so?

Consideration 3. Is it worth my time, effort and money to do this bachelor then? On surface, 50pounds is a small amount to pay for the marking of the research..but if consider time=money..then I am asking myself if spending the time on it is worth it. am I trying to put too much on my plate too fast? Or is it just riding on whatever I am studying on now? since I have set aside this 1.5years to study, can I cope with this other research paper? I have 9months to do it.

I am beginning to read a bit on this topic and I will probably be able to better assess it and decide before end of the year if I am going to do this research.

stay

The week has been like a freefall drop into the valleys.

- the interview on Wednesday was tough. I went without hope of getting the job. And I was right.

- my situation at work isn’t look any better.

- my grandma passed away on 24 jul 2am.

While I sit in the bottom of the well looking up into the oh-so-high sky.. I still want to give thanks for:

- singtel blessed me with yet again. $30 taka voucher + $1 burger king meal voucher.

- the new stylist I visited salvaged my ugly hair. So far comments I’ve been getting is I look young and cute. That’s better than the whole big mess earlier.

- I’ve finally opened my cdp account =) which took me less than 10mins to do so.

- the interview was tough but insightful. I am really appreciative of the affirmation the finance manager gave. I can’t express how much it has meant to me. the finance director is a man of wisdom and he reminded me much of nelson. Thank you for the personal phonecall. He asked me to hang on to the job I have and finish my studies. After which, he believes I will be like a “phoenix emerging from the ashes” as my studies will bring me a step further in career.

Honestly, if not for the new supervisor, it has been my plan to stay with vv till I graduate. I was wavered because she’s been making life difficult and I find working under her has already become a waste of time. nonetheless, I do concur with the director’s words.. by staying on, I will prove my track record that I am a person who can stay in a company. And hence, this will be what I want to do. stay.

- I am so thankful I found a friend to confide and rant with in bee lan. The similar “crisis” we are facing with our supervisor has brought us closer in our friendship. we’ve struck an alliance to be united..and that’s our tactic to outlast our “foe”.

- I’m so glad dearie’s finally back from kl yesterday. 2 nights seem too long..and snuggling warmly in bed with him is one of the best things in life =)

- I am almost recovered from my cough, nose block and runny nose. Thank you dr Jeffrey from life line. I’m going to stick to you from now on. no more raffles and trythall. You guys are crap.

It’s a tough time but I’m hanging on. what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. =)

because you believed..

It’s been a longer than usual weekend for me. Quantitative methods is a demanding module and I am struggling to cope. Boy, am I soooooo thankful this weekend I’ll be getting a break so I’ll have some time to get dearie revise through common statistics calculation with me. I’ve never been too mathematical a person since young; unless the figures come with a $ sign in front, else I’m not too interested in them. But honestly, I’m not very good with formulaes and maths since young, so I do need all the help I can gather.

I was having girls’ talk with wendy (my young sister in law), and I told her I really look forward to the day I can wear the graduate’s robe and take a family portrait photo with my dearie’s family. Dad, mum, dearie, wendy, john and alicia. Not forgetting my own family too! My mummy dearest, brother, sister in law, rayden, new born nephew(I don’t even know his name yet!) and dad. I must do you all proud =) jia you tricia.

I’ve got an interview tomorrow and I’m actually not very optimistic of. I have applied for a position above of what I am holding now and I’m not too positive about my chances that the company will give me a shot at. Nonetheless, I am telling myself just take it as an exposure to see what is offered outside. No harm taking peeks through the peep hole sometimes, right? Not the least hopeful, but just a curious cat going for a spin.

i almost lost sight

I almost lost sight of myself today.

I have to chant and drill the following into my head so that I don’t become emotional with the work situation.

1. STUDIES is the TOP priority for tricia (“burn it into my head”, quote Ms Harris, my lecturer for accounting module)

2. This job gives me time to study and also tutor.

3. Time lost not studying can never be retrieved. Once I finish this module or term, I won’t be able to redo it again. experience at work I can still slowly sought out once I finish my studies.

4. I am earning enough to finance my studies and save a bit. Dearie is paying for all the household expenses now, and he wants me to save my money for studies. That’s why I’m taking up 1 more tuition assignment so that I can afford to shoulder the burden of household expenses too.

5. I need the bonus to finance my 3^rd term studies.

6. A good job must slowly be sought out. Don’t leave on impulse. I must make sure my next job is one that will allow me to develop and stay for a long while.

7. Best time to find job is after Dec pay-out. So no rush and don’t worry about the non-availability of jobs now. It’ll come, just not so soon.

8. Take the opportunity to learn, study and pick up things useful for my career.(not learning data entry as suggested by my colleague) more like doing some courses etc.

Talk about course, i am still drawn towards the Advanced Taxation course by tax academy. But it’s open only for tax professionals, so I’m no where near that. I’m a professional in GST filing. How’s that? =P

I was feeling way in the pits..but I’m slowly drawing myself out of it. Knowing my priorities and having them “burnt” into me is important. I don’t want to forget where my goal is because now I don’t see any light in the tunnel, but I am confident I will reach the end of it in 1.5years time.

things are looking better now

Dearie has given up his own training to keep me company for the past 2 days. I was really lethargic yesterday and dearie, instead of going for his swim, came back to do track training with me. he was having problems with his knees yet still ran with me for an hour. Thank you, baby. I am really thankful you are around. =)

After attempting for many tuition assignments recently but all seems to be infertile; yesterday, I finally got a call from a coordinator, Carine. She offered me an assignment for 2 days a week tutoring a P4 girl Chinese and English. Location is at Woodlands Road, which is actually on the main road next to Caltex. It’s really near my home! Just that I don’t think I’ve got any form of transportation to get there except by walking. I can bike there but it’ll be too unglam for a tutor =P

It is such a pleasant relief to know I have settled the tuition portion of my life. the target is to earn about $300/month from tutoring so that in any case should I have to quit this job to move to another (that translates into losing of my year end bonus), I will have enough to see me through the paying of my school fees in term 3. right now with the new assignment, I’ll be earning $380/month, which I hope to hold through till at least end of next year. I’ll try my best to help the students..and if they work hard themselves too, in the win-win situation, we can sustain the relationship of student-teacher for a long while. =)

I’ll be starting this assignment next Tuesday because I wanted to give myself some time to gather some materials and familiarize with the syllabus. I’ll pop by big bookshop on Saturday before school to go through some books and get a few if I have to. I can always reuse them again when I teach other students so the money spent on books will never go to waste. Alternatively, if time permits, I’ll love to dig into the 2^nd hand bookstores at Bras Basah again for some good buys.

I’m 85% done with my first assignment. Aiming to finish it off by today. It’s quite an impressive piece of work. Will get dearie to proof read it tonight before I submit it by end of the week. Having finished the assignment, Friday I’ll be using my 2hours study time to go through the quantitive notes. Hearing all the lousy feedback about my lecturer for the module, I am fretful. Nonetheless, I always remind myself with what dearie tells me, “whether the lecturer lousy or not, I still must score!” with a lousy lecturer, it can only mean I must work doubly hard and should I do well in this module, I can unbashfully boast and claim the credit to myself!

koff koff

Was just informed that a new secretary for the fc will be coming in next week. wow. we sure have a lot of budget to be able to afford another headcount. Don’t know if it’ll be a good thing or not but somewhat it feels like we’ll be getting another spy amongst the team. Haha.

I won’t try to deny that I am truly tired of my work here. I don’t know why that kind of really stale feeling but it’s really not helping in any way at all. Strangely, I can’t seem to put my finger on a particular problem but it’s more like a big jumbled up mess here.

Having gone through jobstreet.com yesterday, I gave a shot at a position advertised in it. It’s like a shot into the dark. Not expecting any returns from it but more like just throwing a dart onto a board I can’t see at all.

Hang on. do my part and just live in peace with my surroundings. Don’t sow unhappiness. Just be neutral.

Time flies when you don’t think about it. like today it’s already 16^th. Another 11 days to pay day. And this marks my 1 year 3 months here. Before you know it, tricia, I would have completed my studies and on the runway to something better.

Have been attempting to obtain more tuition assignments but the effort seems infertile. I think the tuition agents are probably sick and tired of hearing from me all the time..competing with undergraduates is really tough, on top of the fact that I don’t have an impressive academic record books to boast of. I won’t give up though. I’m sure something suitable will come my way.

I’ve completed the report as required today. On the dot. I don’t want to finish it too early since it’ll most likely sit in her in tray for a week or so anyway. I’ve been slowly doing it bits by bits as I haven’t found sufficient energy to see through it. but now it’s done, and I’m pretty satisfied with my piece of work.

Been sick and out. Do hope to recover from the sore throat and coughing soon. By the way, I want to condemn our company doctor located at Jurong Point. I haven’t had a good impression of it since the last time I was there. Yesterday, I’ve made up my mind that that’ll be the last time I’ll ever step into that clinic again. the doctor bo-chup-ness is really unwanted. This clinic gets a BOOOOO from me. The next time I need to visit the doctor, I’ll go to LIFELINE clinic. The one at Limbang gets a thumbs UP from me and sook sun recommends the lifeline located at Bt Batok.

1 more hour to the end of day. Time to do reading for my assignment!

distracted

Distracted; my mind feels like a piece of shattered glass dispersing light shone, into a spectrum of colours. Trying hard to finish up the quarter report to meet the wed deadline. Thinking about assignment. Thinking about a new job and work. thinking about dressing myself a little better. Thinking about the argument caused by a pair of canvas shoes. Thought about why is it so difficult to get another tuition assignment.Thought about how I can fill my tummy healthily during class. Instant oats in a thermal cup?

My throat hurts from an overdosage of milo through the weekends. Been drinking too much of it in class because it’s the only thing that fills me up and gives that sugar boost. Got to reduce intake of that.

I feel down and distracted today. =(

the human side of superheroes

I had my first intensive block over the weekend. It was tiring to study through the 15 hours stretched over 3 days but as it’s pretty manageable for a familiar topic. Next week I’ll begin quantitative analysis, which I am more uncertain of, and made worse after I heard my classmates mention terms like regression etc which are alien terms to me. =S

I’ve got an assignment to work on, which I target to complete in the next 4 days and Friday I’ll be using some hours to get myself to skim through the study notes for quantitative.

John and Alicia gave Billy and I to a treat to Sizzler and the movies on Sunday. Thank you so much to both of you! =) I enjoyed the salad bar and soft ice cream. Yum yum.. I’ll post up some of the photos on a later entry. Thereafter, we caught Hancock at GV Marina. I felt the story a little out-of-this-world, but I like Will Smith. In a way, it wasn’t a show about a superhero (think spiderman, batman, superman and all other men) vs some big villain, but rather, a struggle of a man who happened to have some out of this world supernatural power. Just like a human, no matter how powerful you are in your own realm of control, in front of your loved ones, the softer (and humane) side of you will surface.

economic crunch?

I would like to comment on how wasteful I find Singapore is. There was a NDP rehearsal which took place over Saturday and I witnessed the fireworks going off up in the sky. Fireworks do not come cheap and I felt it was a waste setting them off on a rehearsal! Talk about tightening our belts and giving more to the needy. If we could simply save more on these fireworks, I’m quite sure there’ll be more funds that can be channeled to back to Singaporeans for aid. Afterall, the funds used to purchase these fireworks come from taxpayers. I am not against fireworks on the ACTUAL national day, but on rehearsals? I find it an Utter Waste.

give me a clue

I read from a back dated business times..the first paragraph from the journalist who quoted LTA, “ERP rates must go up because the current congestion, if left unchecked, will have a negative impact on the economy.”

The headline of this article reads, “ERP helps business, says LTA”.

In my myopic eyes, I read it as, “ERP helps government’s revenue and keep LTA employed”.

Lesser congestion will only mean fewer people are traveling to the places ambushed with gantries. How would that translate to any help for businesses? When does lesser crowd mean better business?

Singapore is a little dot in the world map and do you know how many ERP gantries there are in this small dot?

65.

Wooohooooo!

I’ve been reading the papers diligently because I see a need to keep myself abreast with the ongoing-s of the world and regional economies. The thirst for more is becoming insatiable especially with the non-existent development at work.

Is there any opportunity out there which I can grasp more knowledge and experience related to finance? Can I volunteer time at the Singapore Exchange, financing company (NOT 大耳聋), or banks? Internship? Give me a chance..someone..somewhere?

Dream about being in a dynamic environment where supervisors are actively empowering us, the people below. It’s a place where people are challenged and enabled to take ownership of work. Our views are heard and management value people. Dream, tricia..that’s too ideal to be true.

I am going to search for some internship or part time..or volunteer..whatever..which ever..so long I can gather some relevant experience that’ll help catalyze my pursuit for the full acca membership and attain cpa status.

give me more clues what can i do to go further and faster? guide me and i will follow. show me and tell me how.

metamorphosis

Couldn’t resist popping into jobstreet.com to browse for available jobs. Shutting myself out of what is going around at work is difficult. There’s a tinge of jealousy when everyone else around are getting their promotions, even the youngest member of our department who came in after me has jumped one grade while I’m still stuck here wilting away.

The next jump up to accountant is not within reach from my present position and as I reviewed recently, the distance is pulling even further apart.

What should I do next? I am trying so hard not to look at others but I just feel pathetic being as such. 2 days ago, a new list of promotions was put on the board. I did not expect my name to be on but another name from department has received a promotion, I sank even further. After all, she’s been here for 6 years while I am only into my 2^nd year, so it’s not fair to compare as such.

The whole situation at work is stifling. Like a butterfly going through metamorphosis, the struggle out of the cocoon encasing me seems more demanding than I thought.

cliff hanger tricia

I was near my breaking point at work yesterday. not because I was utterly busy that it tested my limits so, but rather, I was finding work completely meaningless and idling was the worst thing to be paid to do.

Somehow, dearie’s words calmed me down to think rationally. i am setting my sights only at my masters. That’s my goal.

How do you know you’ve met that someone who is right for your life?

No matter what happens in your life, he/she is always beside you cheering you on and traveling the distance with you. he/she doesn’t put you down but reminds you that there’s something to be learnt from every episode. I know I found that someone =)

Honestly I can’t see a future in this job I am presently at. I’m so stuck in between. I don’t have new things to work on because the FC has taken most of my work to do on her own. I’ll never make it to the accountant post because to my superiors, I have nothing to prove myself. I’ve been feeling very down since the FC came and I find that I am going no where at all.

I’ve been thinking of moving on for several months and the only reason I am still here is because of my studies. Some may fancy a job that pays you to idle but to me it’s a sheer waste of time as I find the pressing need to learn and catch up with my peers.

However, because of the whole heap of free time I have, this is probably the only job that’ll allow me to do some studies. On the flip side, a trade off with lesser work prospects and challenging work to simulate my brains.

Colleagues are nice people, except the FC. She’s not nasty, just that she’s not a good manager of people. I appreciate my colleagues, hence I’m not repulsive against this job nor pressed to find another job badly.

Tomorrow my first class starts. I’ve already planned out my time a little and I’ll attempt to work within whatever I’ve set for myself. Studies will keep me busy and converge my focus; away from the unhappiness at work.

Dearie is right, once I finish my masters in another 1.5-2years time, I will move off to the next level. meantime, hang on..hang on..hang on!!

tricia is blessed

i've been very blessed through the weekend.

dearie bought me a new hp. the sony ericson w910i in a nice bronze with gold rims. pretty!! =) it came much a surprise as he had planned to get the omnia for my father-in-law but it was out of stock and the price has rose quite by quite a hefty bit.

i've been very blessed recent days. dearie got me the new phone. singtel picked me as a lucky winner of $300 tangs voucher. with that, i bought my wedding shoes (dearie picked it!), matching earrings to go with the wedding set, a new steam iron (woohoo!!) and also a new wallet. most of the things i've gotten are good buys because i'll need them for the wedding, except the wallet..i wonder if i've been a little extravagant =(

we've still got $80 left after all that and i think i can use that to buy something for dearie or mummy.

why don't they set a salon up in tangs? then i can pay for a new haircut with the vouchers. =)

when there is will, there is way

The weekend that has just passed had been like an emotional roller coaster for our family. My mum has been walking in a trough of the valley for a long while and I’m relieved she has finally gathered her courage to walk out of it soon.

Often at times, talking about walking out can seem so easy. Pack up and move on. yet, we know in the process, there is a whole lot of emotional baggage to move – of which we must gradually learn to give up.

I’ve been very worried for my mum, knowing her soft heart and emotional nature. Dearie and I talked through it during the day and before we slept last night. Verbalizing and tossing perspective with dearie is therapeutic to me. it helps me sort my thoughts out and gather another point of view. As I managed to fall asleep finally, my mind was not at rest. I had a dream and this time, again I sort an interpretation to it.

I stood at one side of the lake’s bank. I could see the other bank right in front of me but I knew I had to cross the wooden pathway/bridge in order to reach there. the pathway/bridge was narrow and looked unstable. It was not a straight pathway as it stems out into several routes towards different areas of the opposite bank.

Cautiously I took steps onto the pathway. Some steps sank into the water and I had to struggle to jump to the next step. Hobbling all over the place to find a safe path to reach the bank I ended up on the path way to the market. This was the worse path of all as it sank entirely. I fell into the water and swam back to where I started.

Once again I stood there looking at the paths analyzing what I have encountered and drawing a mental route of which better route would bring me safely over this time. as I looked on, other people began to gather around me. they too looked at the path way and I warned them that the one towards the market has sunken. Some nodded and started to cross the pathway. Many of them reached the other bank safely. It gave me confidence that it is possible to reach the other bank without falling into the water. At this point, I was awakened by my alarm. Feeling a little “dui” I didn’t get a chance to walk through it, I was very sure in my heart, if others can do it, I can do it too.

I went to the internet to seek some likely interpretation of what I saw. This was what I came back with.

Bridge

1. Transition; crossing from one way of life to another.

2. A rise in the level of consciousness on the part of the dreamer; heightened awareness.

To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage.

To dream of a run-down bridge, indicates that you should not contemplate any major changes in your life at this time.

To see a bridge collapse in your dream, denotes that you have let a great opportunity pass you by.

Lake

To see a lake in your dream, signifies your emotional state of mind. If the lake is clear and calm, then it symbolize your inner peace. If the lake is disturbed, then you may be going through some emotional turmoil. (It was a calm lake because I managed to swim back to the bank with ease)

To emphasize the positive, water is often a symbol of new life, refreshment, and vigor. Water in manageable amounts or controlled settings almost always conveys this sentiment to the dreamer. Controlled water is the key.

If a dream contains a lake, is the entire shoreline visible and likely attainable? (YES!)

Water presented in this way is often indicative of renewal. For example, while traveling and growing weary, the dreamer suddenly happens upon a creek.

Disclaimer: by seeking an interpretation to my dreams does not signify a reliance on dreams to direct my life. in a way I do think that our dreams are highly reflective of our state of mind. In some fact, our dreams are sometimes borne out of our emotional condition. I emphasize that it happens sometimes as there are times we do have utterly ridiculous dreams that are not worth the effort to think twice of.

An affirmation is what I gather from the dream yesterday night. My mum can move through this phase of agony to a better shore ahead. Others ahead of her have managed to do it, she can too =)

hairy woes

this photo was how exclaimed i was after i cut my hair today. i have told the stylist i didn't want it too short and she chopped my tresses and made me look like mushroom all over again.

gone are my poodle bangs.wroof wroof..and hello to mushroom head..erm what sound does mushroom make? ummmmm..

i went through the beauty forum and sourced a few places for a hair cut. i was desperate for a trim as my hair was overgrowing all over the place and i felt really dreary with it. all the places recommended in the forum were mostly "high class" salons of which getting a hair cut would mean paying an amount of minimal $38. majority of the salons are located in central singapore..which probably explains a little more of the price it's coming with.

i missed the appointment with nancy(my usual home based stylist) at 1130am this morning because i was with my mum and the rest of my family for "family meeting".

needing a hair cut badly and seeing dearie sleeping, i decided to just walk to yew tee mrt and search for a decent salon for a trim. after all, how bad can a trim get? it's in this wulu neighbourhood..so i reckon it won't be so expensive.

horror of horrors. a trim CAN turn out bad. like this. and i had to pay $19.80 on top of suffering shock from it. why 19.80? because it was 22 after 10% discount. give me 50% discount and i'll still be reluctant to let them cut my hair again. no way jose.

dearie comforted me and told me i still look pretty with the new hairstyle. i know he was trying his very best to pacify and cheer me up.

how i look now? if you let me describe it, i look like an aunty going to the wet market. the hair cut is somewhat childish and totally unflattering.

i am so upset the long tresses i've been keeping for my wedding were being chopped off. if the stylist had given me a nice hair cut then probably chopping them off would be justified..but i lost my long tresses and i got an aunty mushroom head in place.

someone tell me what i can do about it now? =(

most would probably say just live with it for now.

sigh. i already hate the sight of myself in the mirror. aunty dressing with aunty hair cut. i'm the ultimate aunty of the year. boohoo.

the guardian angel of my life

mummy, i'm glad you have made the decision to move on. i will be beside you all the way. don't look back because the future is yours to behold.

we do not deny of our past because it was what we've been through that made us who we are today.

i know you are the person who has guided, cared and provided for me all these years. you are the guardian angel of my life. you are the one who gave me life.

mummy, be strong.

(this is the latest photo taken with my mummy when we were on my kor's car travelling to my cousin's wedding 2 weeks ago. i'm looking more like her, isn't it?)

dearie's 28th birthday part 2

part 2 of birthday meal for dearie.. BROWNIE!

this was how it looked when it came out of the oven. i cooled it in another tray. the centre was a little uncooked hence it cracked. i shoved it into the freezer so the brownie didn't fall apart. as we can all see here, dearie was attempting to make it fall apart!! grrr!!

after testing and verifying it wouldn't fall apart, we sang him bday song and he cut his cake/
dearie having the first bite. we all agreed it was a little under cooked..and it tasted more like chocolate fudge cake than brownie. nonetheless, as at 5pm today (the same afternoon), we are only left with 1 slice off the entire brownie baked. =)

dearie's 28th birthday! part 1

today 06 Jul 08 (06/07/08) is dearie's 28th birthday. i attempted to cook mee sua (with 2 eggies!) for him. it came out a little different from my mum-in-law's style. so i said it's teochew style, hence it's unique on its own. after we finished eating, then i remembered i forgot the fried onions. i think i've been getting pretty blur these days =P

birthday boy with his mee sua (and 2 eggies)
the tricia teochew style mee sua. it's healthy! with veg, eggs and chicken.
mum helped me with it. both of us got to savour the mee sua too.

buzz buzz thru the day

It’s 416pm now, with 1 more hour to go before I bid my workstation for the weekend. I’ve been amazingly busy for the entire day, something not common! Next week will be buzz buzz again as I’ll be doing the quarter reporting for the companies which mable has closed accounts for.

With much ranting about style and fashion, I found myself dressing and undressing numerous times this morning. Fumbling through my wardrobe, I struggled to find something that’ll fit my skin. I threw out 3 tops from my collection and packed them into the “recycle” bag in the store room. Somehow those tops have grown out-of-shape, abit too long, abit too short and bluntly, cheesy.

Tonight I’ll be spring-cleaning my wardrobe; throw out those I don’t think I’ll ever wear them out on the street. Being garang-guni minded, I have the problem of keeping a lot of stuff hoping and thinking I’ll one fine day use them. However, that one fine day hardly comes!

Dearie and I will be taking today off to rest for the event-packed weekend. We’ll be doing quite a bit of training on both days and we won’t want fatigue to impede either one of them. It’ll be hard training..but it’ll be worth it..because we’ll be rewarding ourselves with good food. (talk about good food, I’m hoping brownies on Sunday will turn out GOOD!)

aunty style is tricia style

I find the reverting back to old blog skin so amusingly funny. Yesterday, as I did some surfing during the day and I chanced upon this livejournal blog which puts up sprees. To my limited knowledge, a spree is basically like a pooling of orders for purchase with a retailer. In context to this livejournal spree, the owner actually puts up regular sprees for fashion apparel based in Taiwan. She collates all the orders locally, place them in one go and then distributes them out. I care to believe she earns some form of commission and currency exchange gains in the process.

I went through the pages finding many of the clothes appealing and pretty. Young, colourful and in all sense, fashionable. The apparels are not costly, ranging from $15 for a top to perhaps $20-30 for a pair of skinny jeans. As I was drawn to it, with my eyes fixated on a puffy skirt and figure flattering top, my sanity gave me a nudge in my rib.

Ouch. Ok, ask myself if I can visualize myself dressing like a teenage hipping trotting down orchard road.

Gulps.

Actually, no. I’m probably more a black shorts, lycra plain tee and chaco sandals girl.

Moreover, what’s the use of having all the fanciful dresses, skirts and tops? That’ll mean I need pretty bags, shoes, hair, figure and makeup to match; all of which I don’t have and am not willing to splurge on.

Drawing the parallelism from the blog, I am choosing to stick with the basic and plain self for now. no wow factor. no stunning ware. Just simple old me with my curly poodle hair and crocs rubber shoes.

Maybe I may graduate to dressy tricia one day. But for now, nah.

Oh ya, dearie bought me a new top on Tuesday. It’s a nice comfy cotton black top from cotton on, priced $7.50. cheap and nice.

Aunty style. That’s tricia style for now!

Laughs.

walking in circles at work

Work hasn’t been looking up recently. I am trying not to dwell too much into it and choosing to focus my attention on tutoring, studying and training. These are things I can gain a sense of achievement and be in more control of.

I have chosen not to mention about my studies to my boss and supervisor as I know my boss is too busy to even bother to give me a referral and my supervisor is more concerned with work than developing people. I don’t think they will give me anything new things to do in the near future, hence I am just buying time here to earn my bonus and use the time to study and equip myself better to tutor my student.

Please give me another 1.5years and I will walk out of here head high, knowing I must move on to greater heights in my next appointment. Dearie, we must jia you together!

back to ground zero

after the use of the fancy blog for a while, it has given up on me and i have given up on it.

apparently the bandwidth of the host for the images had been exceeded.. so the images on the blog were gone. i tried to upload the images into webshots but i could not get the *png extension file to look the way it should. being a complete idiot with the img src, <,>, a,b,c,d,e,...blah..i am reverting back to the completely idiot-proof templates provided by blogspot.

no fancy doodle doodle. no need to tweak forever with the gibberish language. just simple, plain and down-to-earth black background and white words.

sometimes less is more. after all, the purpose of this blog is to record my journey in life. who cares the flower, buttons and what-nots.

dream a little dream

I had a dream yesterday. strangely, I’ve began to notice that the images are occurring in an on-and-off fashion in the recent year or so. Out of pure curiosity, I have decided to google on what can be interpreted out of the images.

Stairs
To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs, indicates that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual/emotional/material journey.

To dream that you are walking down a flight of stairs, signifies that you will face many setback in your endeavors.

To see spiral or winding stairs, signify growth and/or rebirth.

Elevator
An elevator dream is a rather complex dream and you should interpret it in light of all the other symbols in your dream, for one thing, if the elevator is going up your fortunes will increase, down is the opposite. If the elevator continues to go up and down with out letting you off means you have let your emotions, or your situation, get out of control and must do something to stop it.

Elevators in dreams generally symbolize mood shifts or changing focus; emotional highs and lows. You may be fighting some change that is going on in your life.

To dream that you are ascending in an elevator, signifies that you will quickly rise to status and wealth. You may have risen to a higher level of consciousness and are looking at the world from an elevated viewpoint. Descending in an elevator, denotes that misfortunes will crush and discourage you. The up and down action of the elevator may represent the ups and downs of your life go emerging out of and submerging into your subconscious.

Elevator means achieving a wish quickly if going up, but in this case becausae you have chosen the wrong way and conter the water current you won't achieve your wish, untill you choose the right way.

Yesterday I dreamt I was waiting for the elevator to go upstairs. I can’t remember if it came or did I board the elevator, but I just recall I pressed the button to go up and I waited for the lift to arrive at the lobby. Subsequently, I found myself jumping down the stairs very quickly. I used the railings to gain momentum and swung myself down the steps rapidly.

Prior to yesterday’s dream, I have dreamt of taking an elevator that took me up rapidly, like one of those described in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the glass elevator, and hovered in the high midair. From one building I traveled on the elevator to the next, connected to each other in the sky. It was amazing.

Further to that, I have also dreamt of coming down stairs, jumping, leaping and swinging like what I dreamt of yesterday.

From the interpretation, I will experience my life going up and down, which I do concur with. I am waiting to do my master, commencing next Friday, which can be represented by the waiting of the elevator to go upstairs.

Concurrently, as I face a lack of opportunities at work since the new supervisor took over and a diminution in savings as I pay for my studies; these could be signified by the leaping down the stairs.

I’m telling myself not to be too bothered with the dream as dreams are after all simply dreams. They do not dictate how we should run our lives. My future is moulded by my own hands and I make the choice how I want to make the best out of it.

to empower encourage and inspire

The new tuition assignment went pretty well yesterday. the student is a pleasant girl who has a goal of achieving A1 for her PoA. I believe she can do it and I will try my best to equip her with what she needs to do so. I’ve got to do my homework too, in order to empower her in that.

Here’s my mental checklist I’ll have to check out later..

- jot notes on what was covered yesterday. this is so that I can reinforce some of the main learning points next Monday. Drilling the fundamentals into her is important. I’ve been getting her to give me entries like it’s off her finger tips. That’s a skill accountants must have.

- locate some past year papers so that I’ll have a good idea what is the exam format like. She has a problem of not being able to complete the paper on time. got to train her with exam time constraints. I’m hoping to give her a mock exam before her actual Ns in October. Mock exams helped me tremendously when I was doing acca. I’m sure it’ll benefit her too.

- draw out a timeline for her. I’ve got her exact exam date so I’ve got to work backwards so that we can cover all the syllabus on time for exams and still have time to do exam papers.

So that’s for tuition assignment number 1. I’ve just received an email notification of another possible tuition assignment. However, this one requires me to tutor commerce on top of PoA. Commerce at O levels is new to me as I have not sat for that paper before. Nonetheless, commerce topics are a bit of here and there which are covered in A levels econs and accounts. I’ll need some time to digest the syllabus before I can decide to commit on this or not.

I’m becoming more like a tutor than a finance exec. Haha. Imagine if I can be really good at this, maybe I can go full time just tutoring =P that’s if my students will be empowered to excel with my guidance, of course! There is only that much I can do within the 1.5 – 2 hours I see them once weekly. The rest is up to them.

My job is to empower, encourage and inspire!