Photos of junkyard

my "new" old workstation

antique pc. so antique there is a floppy disk drive!!

right next to wear i sit is this junkyard.

i couldn't take the dim crt any longer hence i swopped it with the lcd i was using. did i tell you how heavy the crt was =S

Seremban Hakka Mee

Photo of the must-try Hakka Mee at Seremban. It may look ordinary but it is delicious!

from junkyard to cbd

I composed an entry earlier this morning but all was wiped out because my pc went kaput and I had not saved the file. Sigh.

I wrote about my experience at shenton way. I wrote about how I missed the cbd march and longed to be part of the contingent one day. I wrote about coming back to a seat that has memorized my curves. While I fell back into the comfort zone I have demarcated, my pc acted up.

Apparently, the power supply has been cut off. With no warning, rhyme nor reason, the screen blacked out and the cpu could not be revived. I bade it goodbye and relocated to the seat opposite my current. Dearie called it a promotion and boy is it a promotion to celebrate about.

I now swear sisterhood with newspapers, boxes and empty files. My new position as “warehouse manager” allows me to work off a dim CRT, windows 2000, and a 391,536KB Ram (not sure how slow/lousy that is but I know my laptop has 3gb ram?). I tried to make it play some music but realize there is no sound output. Argh. With all that in consideration, it is perhaps a downgrade more than a promotion?

In another light, this seat is giving me another perspective to the office I work in. it’s a secluded corner and I have a wall on the right of me and half a partition behind me. Good thing I’m not claustrophobic; I kind of like the “security” the partition and wall are giving me. It feels more “contained” in some ways.

I am reminiscing the clattering noise of cbd march. I like the glitzy array of fashion ladies dorn and suave men all over the place. A little part of me questioned if I will one day be in that contingent.

You know, have an office over looking some parts of the cbd. Like May puts it “reserving seats with tissue paper”.. dressed in suit, pencil skirts, heels and coach bags. I just want to be a true professional. Work in a professional environment. Do some meaningful work. Make some important decisions.

I dream. And I can still hear the clatter of heels at the back of my head.

Seremban Half Marathon 2009

the race venue

dearie relaxing at the hotel (Seremban Inn)

Dinner. my silly idea..Oopss.

I deprived my dearie of good hawker food with this..but he looks like he's enjoying it hor? =P

My Champ! Mr Dearie Tey!

1st time i'm seeing a cheque with 3 signatories.

it seems like dearie is SHARING his prize money with me.. hehe..i'm trying to pry it out from his hands actually...hohoho

Dearie's impressive timing. V impressive for a 21k.

My timing. Not fantastic but my personal best.

Our lunch before departing Seremban. Ah Dee Lou Shu Fen. Yummmyyyy..but guilty la..( will post the Hakka Mee soon!)

I’m back! The trip to Seremban was fantastic and I enjoyed myself tremendously. Why?

1. Seremban is only 3 hours drive away from Singapore. The travelling wasn’t that taxing on dearie =)

2. The food was absolutely fabulous! We tried the famous must-tries: Tow Kee Hakka Mee and Lou Shu Fen..yummy yummy.. we could have eaten a good dinner but thanks to my stupid suggestion, we ended up eating tortillas and bbq chicken.

3. Dearie brought me to the movies! We caught Obsessed. The movie was mediocre but the company made all the difference =)

4. Both of us did a PB during the race =) Dearie came in 10^th in the men’s’ closed category with a timing of 1.28 while I came in 12^th in the women’s open at 1.56. Dearie won rm100 prize money! Woohoo! It was a hilly run but the route was good. Not so crowded.. traffic was ok.. and the whole race was well organized. Best of all, the weather was great; cloudy and windy. Perfect. (dearie must write the race report!! Because he ran with a KENYAN lady! Wooow!)

Sham’s training really paid off as I know how hard I was running.. and I could rake up my energy to sprint towards last 1km. I didn’t expect the route to be so hilly.. from the start to the end it was slopes never ending.. the mr trainings were good.. the np hill runs came in helpful..and the track training.. made a difference. Something I thought I should have done, which I did not, was to train 21k at race pace. I have taken the 20k runs too easy for the past months.. it was only last week’s 17k did I start to run harder.. I think it wasn’t suffice. It’s ok, lesson learnt. Will be taking a different training strategy towards AHM.

5. Dearie brought me shopping and we got some good deals in our grocery and toiletries shopping. I got 2 pairs of shoes at 20% discount at vincci too.

6. The hotel, Seremban Inn, which we stayed in is value-for-money. It's very clean, the service was good, located very near the race start (less than 1km run away)...the bed was very comfy.. all for rm80. Thumbs up!

I enjoyed this trip immensely.. thank you dearie for everything.

This race gives me good momentum up to AHM. I’m going to work harder for a better timing. =) dearie, you must jia you too!

running in pace

Dearie ran with me yesterday. I started with 7 laps and he paced me for 13laps. I targeted to do 8km in race pace of 45mins..and I achieved it! Dearie kept encouraging me to keep the pace and at every lap he would tell me my timing. That really helped me tremendously to keep pace and listen to how hard I was pushing. He also reminded to keep my breathing regular and calculated my km/h pace (I’ve got no idea how he could compute that) He helped me achieve a negative split timing =) some pointers I got from this session:

- my race pace is 2:17min/lap. To keep within 1-2sec frame is the target.

- breathing is very important. I gasped during my 8-10^th lap and it affected my pace.

- training must be at constant speed.. dearie kept emphasizing that. Constant. Constant constant. Oki. No more chionging at the end for me in the next few weeks’ training to come. I must know that it is the half marathon I am training for, not 8km race.

- do more warm up. Because I think I used the first 1km to warm up my legs and hence I was stressed out at the end of not being able to hit target. and yes..got to relax during run.

- rest is important. I was exhausted from the long weekend and I was not able to run properly on Tuesday. i was practically dragging my feet along 3km. sleep is king, indeed!

Dearie went to register for school today. It was funny listening to him rant about getting lost at campus. That's a problem i wish i had..haha..but my school is so small, it's difficult to get lost.

Over the radio a couple of days ago, it was reported that in the years to come, HALF of Singapore population will hold at least a degree. Having a degree will soon become a Norm.

As I re-read the earlier parts of this post, I like that parallelism I can draw from running in application to life. Knowing pace. Rest. Constant speed. And I think knowing the end point ranks most important of all.

cookie tin savings

with the lowering of savings rate from 0.125% to 0.1%, i might as well keep my money in the cookie tin than leave it in the bank.

it's time to invest your money instead of leaving it in the savings account, losing value. if inflation is 6% p.a and interest rate is 0.1% p.a, you are effectively losing 5.5%p.a value of whatever you put in the bank.

no wonder the recent singapore bonds issue was over subscribed.

it must go UP!

Tuition wasn’t as good as I hoped it would be. I feel rusty after the half year break away from tutoring, the syllabus wasn’t at my fingertips anymore. The struggled with some questions on topics which I didn’t deal with on a daily basis.. so I was stumped. Didn’t like that feeling to be honest.. and I know that if I want to get them all back, I had to do my homework of reading through the past year papers, understanding the formats required and prepare for each class. I didn’t like going there unprepared as words didn’t flow out of me like second nature. i don’t tutor as a profession.

It is not being fair to the student if I do not do my homework. However I am reluctant to commit from now till her exam in nov. the 2 modules next term will demand more from me.. hence I’m kind of stuck right now. I hate waking up feeling tired. I hate not being able to do my easy runs. I am not sure if I have the time to prepare for classes. The motivation to continue is the hope to see her do well in it and the monetary supplement I can gather from the effort.

I despise myself that I do not earn a comfortable sum of money that can eliminate the 2nd motivation almost instantly. i’ll give myself more time to reconsider on this.

I remember when I stepped into this company more than 2 years ago, I told my boss my plan in the next 5 years was to be a member with icpas. I wanted to go full force towards career progression. After working hard for the last 2 years plus, I looked back from where I commenced and I can tell myself I have progressed.

Nevertheless, the fish tank only has that much space and does not grow any bigger than it is. I continue to swim to and fro this tank right now; mastering the skills to glide and move swifter. Yet, this is something I hope I needn’t be doing in the next decade to come. Hopping out will take a lot of courage and I am not sure how much bigger the next tank will be.. or will it be the frying pan? but if I don’t try, I will continue to go round and round this tank. I do not count on the tank expanding in the short-mid term and I do not want to raise my hopes on anything. Nothing is promised and I doubt there will be anything offered.

Darn it on the economic crisis, sweeping away with it opportunities and career options.

Hang on tricia. 6 more months to graduation. 10 more months to get icpas and acca membership. Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. It will get better.

I hope dearie’s career will gain leverage. Like ma always remind us, “remember we must not let others look down on us.” I hope to move up a gear too, once I gain momentum to shift out of the inertia state.

When things hit the bottom, it must go UP!

piecing things, one at a time

With the passing of every exam is a little victory for me. It is a small step nearer to the completion of the programme. How fast 1 year went past just like that. Dearie will be commencing his master too. Learning should be a perpetual process.

As much as many will argue academic qualification is not that crucial if you have all the working experience, but reconsider this: you are in the same selection with another candidate with the same amount of experience, but he has academic qualification which is one notch up from yours. He has the qualification that exposed him to a more specialized or wider spectrum of work. If cost is not a huge factor in selection, who would the organization shortlist? Qualification is not everything, but we have to admit it does play a part when you have to compete in the rat race.

I’ve been planning for 2010 recently. The obu degree is still something in my kiv tray; want to do it but a little uncertain how to go about doing so. Then again, most of the time, money is the key. I can pay a school to get help from a lecturer. Pay for supplementary classes on how to write a thesis. So it’s that simple, you just need the M-factor.

I intend to look into taking some short courses with tax academy. I feel having good grasp of taxation will be helpful in my career.

Things ought to slow down for me in the coming year. We’re planning for a kid and I’m a little saturated for long term studies. With the short courses that can be accomplished with the year, I hope I can make some changes to my career and build my family with dearie.

If opportunity does not knock for me to move job, I am thinking to take up some tutoring assignments if possible; just to earn a little more. Should all things come together well, upon obtaining the full icpas membership in april, there should be more options available.

FSA - Cleared!

i passed FSA with a credit. This is within my expectation as the test and assignment results were not fantastic. I was disappointed with assignment grades as Marilyn and I put in alot of effort into it and I thought our answers were pretty close to the solutions. But we only got a 73 for assignment. I got a 13/20 for test. The highest was a 14. To get a distinction i'll need 79 for exam..which is a little tough. But I'm glad I got the credit =)

More worried about eva. Really want to clear eva.

Ma bought me a jade pendant and I have been wearing it since. Maybe it's placebo..or maybe it's bringing me more luck. Dearie and I need more of that! =D

Thank you dearie for staying with me through the exam. Will treat u to a good meal when I get results for my eva. hahaha.. if i pass eva then got treat! I'll stand by you when you start school in Aug. =) We take turns to be each other's keeper.

i like being at home

I love being at home. I can do so many things which I have wanted to do but haven’t got the chance to.
I took leave today to catch up with my revision for tomorrow’s exam and I did the following too:
1. cleaned the house as ma and wendy are coming tomorrow. I cleaned it this morning and I will clean up and prepare the beds for them this evening. Do a quick sweep and ensure we have the place comfortable for them to stay.
2. washed the sofa covers and sun the cushions. With such good hot weather, I sunned dearie’s smelly pillow and bolster too!
3. signed up twitter! I’ve got twitter!
4. go through the eva slowly. Do the additional questions..and do up the notes to be brought into exam
5. I like studying without the lamp. I like to study with natural light – I haven’t got the chance to do that because I either have to study in the evening or in office most of the time. It is so so so nice to read notes under natural sunlight. I can’t describe that feeling. But it’s nice =)
6. study without fear of being caught. I study in the office, under constant fear of being caught and warned again. But I feel at least I am making use of my free time to upgrade myself than to read i-weekly stuffed in between the file. Heh.
7. blast the music and sing-along. Haha. Ka-ra-oke. For my case, when I sing, it’s ka-ra-not-okie. =P

p.s: i took the photo on the left of this entry. how's that? it was taken at labrador park. the dusk was beautiful. i wanted to cut the photo into better 1/3s proportion..but i like the bottom which shows the boulders hence i left the proportion as such. do comment on it so i can improve =)

let it be

Let it be.

I’ve been immensely affected in the last 1-2 weeks and in the quest to understand things better, I think I have accidentally stirred trouble that was better done without.

After talking it through numerous times with dearie, I resigned to the truth that life is and will never be fair. And hence, I am better off adopting a “let it be” perspective than to fight to understand the why-s and how-s.

For the first time in a long time, I am not looking forward to Thursday training. i used to look forward to Thursdays earnestly. I packed my bag for training early on Wednesday evenings. I rush to finish up my revision and assignments early so I can make it for Thursday trainings. Yet, today I am giving myself excuses not to be there.

However, I will still be there because I feel the incident yesterday was something I must apologise for. And there should be a closure to things. No matter how things will turn out, I still want to be there to understand and listen.

I have submitted leave for tomorrow as I do have to catch up with my revision and also rest.

Yes, like dearie said, I’ve learnt something from the episode and walk away from it stronger. He is right, after all, running is just a small part of life.. family, career and friends are more important. I can’t be running competitively all my life. It’s just a season that will soon pass. This has been something Isabel told me repeatedly but took me long to truly understand.

i’ll be taking my cpa pre admission course in 2 weeks’ time. My new term starts next week. 3 more modules. I’ve completed the required acca performance objectives.

I really like what dearie said this morning, “it’s not about how fast you run, it’s about how much money you have”. This is true. In this world, it is true.

These should be my priorities in life. Put in the big rocks which encompass the main priorities first. The smaller stones and sand can come in later. Just like our dream to run the biggest marathons in the world – those can come in once we establish our career.. our family.. we can do it any time in the next 20years to come.

I thought I have smelled a fresh breeze of air. What have I been doing in that box? =X

And that shall be the agenda for the day. Find out. Close case. Let it be. Move on.

Friday, do intensive crash course revision. Saturday, go for exam. Go watch transformers with dearie (complimentary of Citibank!) Sunday, spend time with family. =) and ya, I still want to do some running too..because we have made some mental goals for ourselves that we are working to achieve!

Yay! My mind feels a lot more free now. And my shoulders feel less burdened. Alas, I can smile and say, “let it be”. =)

clarify, understand, peruse

There have been things I have tried to investigate and understand better, but I am not getting much information up till this point in time. I am not sure why it is taking so long for feedback but I feel we have taken pro-active steps to seek answers.

I thought about how the answers will affect things. If we want to move ahead, the focus becomes increasingly important. We will post the questions up for open discussion tomorrow; should we not receive a feedback electronically by today. We have wanted to approach it discretely, but I think we will have to resort to more explicit means. It’ll be an amicable discussion - for the purpose of clarification.

Ultimately we want to understand how certain decisions were made, what the expectations are and what the team’s direction is.

It should not be that difficult to answer I reckon?

Taking a leadership position is not an easy task. As I look at how tpl leads our finance team, I must applaud her for a job pretty well done. from the way she handled the tusra treasurer position; understanding the situation from 3 sides, it is impressive. During our department meeting, she shared with all the struggles and difficulties faced during audit.. she set the timeline for reporting for the next 3 months and gave us broad view of what is required from the department. There were some operational issues raised and she advised us to collect concrete information and quantify the issues. This will aid when we want to gather departments for a meeting to iron processes out, at least we will not be pointing at blank air making accusations. =) to me that is a very sound and proper way to approach problems.

Leading a department requires transparency. It requires clear direction and communication. I find my perspective of tpl changed a lot after working next to her for the last 6 months. I’ve learnt a lot and these will be valuable experience that will path my way to a bigger role.

English Lyrics to Mi Mancherai

Mi Mancherai (I'll miss you)

I’ll miss you, if you go away
I’ll miss your serenity
Your words like songs in the wind
And Love, that you take away.

I’ll miss you, if you go away
Now and forever I don’know how to live
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, because you go away
Because the love in you is dead
Because, because...
Nothing it’s gonna change, I know
And inside of me I feel you

I’ll miss the immensity
Of our days and nights,us together
Your smiles when it’s getting dark
Your being naive like a little girl

I’ll miss you, my love
I look at myself and I find emptiness inside of me
And joy, my friend, goes away with you

more things i found out

- Il Postino is an Italian movie (i want to be a pirate and download this movie but i can't figure how to use bittorrent. argh!!!)
- The talented lady who played the violin in the first AOL clip is an American violinist,Lucia Micarelli, with Italian/Korean parentage. She's only 25 this year. Wow..impressive.

Mi Mancherai - Josh Groban

i've been hooked on this song. it's beautiful. from what i found out, it's the song from a movie, Il Postino.

this is the song with the excerpts from the movie.

Mario Ruoppolo is a young man in an insular Italian fishing village where time moves slowly. Since Mario's seasickness doesn't allow him to fish, he is given the job of postman, delivering mail on a bicycle to only a single customer, the famous Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. After a while, the two become good friends. Neruda has been exiled to Italy because of his communist views. In the meantime, Mario meets a beautiful young lady, Beatrice Russo, in the village's only cafe. With the help of Neruda, Mario is able to better communicate his love to her through the use of metaphors. The two are later married. The poet Neruda and his wife are allowed to return to Chile. Some months after Mario makes a recording of village sounds for Neruda. Years after Neruda come back to the island as a tourist, he finds Beatrice and her son in the same old cafe. Through her, he discovers that Mario had been killed a while back. He was going to read his poetry at a large political gathering in Naples but was killed by police intervention. Beatrice gives Neruda the recordings of village sounds, which also record the sounds of police brutality leading to Mario's death. (synopsis taken from IMDB.com)

ahhh..i want to watch this movie!! (yes, more than transformers 2)

2 down 1 last one

eva assignment has been submitted. -heaves a sigh-

fsa exam is over. -heaves a bigger sigh of relief-

i have done all i could have done into the 29 pages of assignment. it was the best shot.

fsa was do-able, though not fantastic. it was a good mix of standard and challenging questions. compared to the sample exam, it was a notch up. but again I gave a best shot in the 3 hrs and 10mins allocated.

no regrets.

last one up. eva exam. i'm feeling more jittery about it but i want to make sure it will be a shot comparable to the last 2 i've taken.

the best shot will ensure i finish the term with no regrets. =)

having enough

Am I trying to make life difficult for myself I pondered? I do have cash spare on hand, just that I am reluctant to spend them. In view of the fees I have to fork out, I trembled a little. The need to be thrifty is real – to ensure I have enough to meet the fees. It has wiped out a lot of what I have and whenever I try to rebuild what I paid out, I find my efforts washed out by yet another term of fees to pay. Really want this to end soon.

It’s an investment I tell myself, yet its intangibility brings uncertainty.

There is little I want of these days because the thought of depleting funds stops me from wasting it on unnecessary things.

It is my hope to get out of this phase in life. I want to be financially strong and have the capability to be a little more generous. I want to add more zero-es to the current amount of savings I have. I want to stop worrying about not having enough for rainy days.

exam progress

not that it is already christmas..just that i haven't got any pictures to put up as i've removed my thumbdrive from the workstation. hence i'm just taking anything i can get from my pictures folder.

progress of the revision for this sat's paper is going pretty well. i am so thankful that i haven't got much to do at work these days and i can use most of my time in the office to revise. i managed to go through both my test paper and the sample exam paper. i feel alot more prepared for the exam after doing so. i'm left with 2 more tutorials to work through, which i plan to complete tonight.

i have more or less pieced my eva assignment together but i want to run through the last valuation portions again. they look extremely weird and i am unsure if it's correct. the assignment is scaring my nerves off because it's really much tougher than it looks. i'm pretty lost with it to be honest. tomorrow is the deadline and i will try to do whatever i can.

after this sat's fsa paper, it'll be full speed ahead for eva revision. another 9 days more and i will be done for the term.

gee. i can't wait for this to end.

sleepless nights

i lied wide awake till 1am, tossing, turning and unable to get to sleep.

i took 1 melatonin at 11pm. it brought a few yawns but no rest. at 1am i was desperate and i popped another one. i continued tossing and turning till i can't remember what time i finally slept.

when i opened my eyes this morning, it was 6.40am and i had missed my bus =( fortunately public transport this morning spared me more agony by ferrying me to work in the record time of 1 hour. it's a feat, considering the mad jam at tuas.

the eva assignment is pushing me to my limits. as i come to the final 2 parts of the assignment, i am faced with scraps of information i cannot piece together. after the disappointing partnership with sxxxxx that finally fell apart, i am fighting this alone. i'm looking forward to have marilyn back as classmate for next term as she has been a study buddy i have tossed many thoughts with.

i really want to wrap this assignment up as soon as possible. i will try to work through till midnight to finish this today. i really want to sleep. i need the rest. without rest, i am close to the brink of breakdown.

mr25 cross country yield

our trophies.. first time in my life i won a trophy for running. when i was in primary school i always got kicked out of track races in the HEATS. hahaha

we had a bountiful yield this year at mr25's cross country marathon.

dearie came in 3rd at 3:53, i only managed at 5:03 but as many girls dropped out, i got 2nd!

the rest of the team did well too; chia came in 2nd at 3:48 and thomas 4:44. isabel and eric didn't manage to complete but did 2 laps..so that was good training for them =)

i was glad i did not give up like last year. i was just hoping to complete it. it was really mental as i ran 3/4 of the race alone.. i did 1/2 with isabel on lap 1 and only managed to catch up with another lady at the golf course of lap 4.

somehow seeing that lady helped me speed up. after arriving at the last drink station together, i quickly gulped the drink and sped off. i knew it was just another 2.5k+ and i needed to stay ahead of her. at least to be 1 position ahead of her. in the last tormenting sloping 400m, dearie ran with me, in his slippers and that helped me chiong to the end. i was hoping to complete it in 5hrs but was off by a little. nevertheless, placing 2nd came as an added bonus.

thursday i'll bring h20 down..to thank those who came to support us.. and to share my joy with the rest of the team.

much thanks to the following who were there today: weeling, brian, sham, lucas, baldwin, yenling & jessica.

it matters if you are black or white

I want to give myself a small pat on the back – managed to finish another tutorial yesterday night. It stretched me out to 12mn once again and I almost overslept, if not for dearie’s noisy hp alarm.

The week’s revision progressed relatively smoothly and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the next 2 weeks will continue to be so. I have kept close to schedule of revision and I’ve been very blessed that work volume has decreased to a point I could spend close to 4 hours working on my assignment yesterday. Everyone’s pretty free after the audit and board meeting. We’ve met the deadline for may’s closing and this is the window of breather we’ll are getting until the cycle starts in 3 weeks’ time.

To me it’s a blessing because this break is timely for me to rush my assignment. However, I do not want to take it for granted and i am being cautious not to be caught for doing personal studies. yet, if I were to look around my department, at least I am utilizing time to learn something. To me, it’s better than flipping magazines, newspapers and watch online streaming movies?

Run training was great yesterday. I went to weigh myself to confirm my weight gain. Argh. I’ve put on 2 kgs! =( yet, what I cannot fathom is, despite gaining weight, I’ve gotten faster. i’ve been able to clock 1.30min for 400m, which to me is a feat. I never imagined myself doing so..but through the rigorous training, I am doing it! =D hee. I’m not going to compare with dearie; 1.30/400m is easy-moderate pace! Thomas and dearie were doing 1.30-1.35 pace yesterday for 1.2km (4sets) and they were chatting and laughing through the sets. What a contrast when you look over and see my crumpled and twisted face while doing 1.30pace!

Dearie posed the question, “do you want to be skinny and slow or heavier but fast?” honestly I was thinking to myself, “can I be skinny and fast?” =P greedy tricia wants the best of both worlds. If I do have to pick, then I’ll pick the latter. I want to be fast and run the races, giving my all. I want to finish and know I could not have done it any better. =)

Running is so much like life. If you choose to be mediocre, you will always be stuck in the gray area of neither black nor white. you either be black. Or white. =)

exams update

In view of the upcoming exams in less than 2 weeks’ time, I have drafted up a study timetable. Since I haven’t got the luxury of numerous hours per day to revise, I can only plan the meager few evening hours I have.

The main aim of the schedule is to cover all the tutorials and sample exam papers. Fortunately, I have gone through fsa textbook once, hence that will enable me to dive straight into tutorials. There are 11 tutorials and I have spread them out to complete within 1 week. Yesterday I planned to complete 2 tutorials, which I managed to achieve. Wee! But that took me all the way to 12mn. o_O

Another thing to be thankful of is the lightened workload since end of audit. I could spend about 2 hours (including lunch break) to look at my eva assignment. Let’s see if I can hold through today again without taking a noon nap.

I hope the workload will stay stable at least till end of the month; let me get through the exams.

Tonight I’ll still be going training and I will work through 1 more tutorial after which. I should take me at least an hour. Need loads of determination to hold through because the natural inclination after training is to shower and hop into bed.

Within the schedule I’ve also segregated the 8 eva tutorials I need to cover over 1 week. Good thing I’ve covered 2 of them so I’m only left with 6. challenge will be more of the assignment which I am delving into it..and I’m unsure if my justifications make sense. I want to do a good one..but I’m a little lost. Let me gather my points and then I’ll email the lecturer for some clarification.

I feel bad that dearie has to go through exams with me again. It can get pretty boring as I have to spend many hours with the books and he is always with me.

Good thing dearie will be starting school soon in august.. at least he will have things to keep him busy! =P

Gee. The entire post is about studies. Hope I’ve not bore you off. But that’s everything on my mind now. I’m working hard to get through this. i’m driving myself to do this term well.. at least get this over and done with. I don’t want it to flow through to another term..like what has happened. =(

Focus at the end! 3 weeks to end of exams. 3 months to end of term 3. ½ year to end of the programme. In that perspective, all the toil will not last forever. At least it is bringing me one step closer to my goal in life.. and that is what makes the hard work worth it. =)

holiday at pa's

With the close of the audit and finalisation of the board meeting reports, the pace at work slowed down tremendously. Coming back from a 3-days holiday at pa’s place, I am recharged to go full speed ahead at work. However, it was surprising that over the long weekend, there were only 2 emails in my inbox and neither of them needed attention to. As a routine, I would list down the tasks to complete for the day/week, and that came out to be just to close accounts for 4 companies. That was it. Wow.

I have 2-3days to finish that and meeting that target should not be a problem. =)

The short break at pa’s place was refreshing, albeit the long journey up. We are blessed with a pool which we could dive and enjoy, at our own privacy. It was an utter indulgence in seafood and ma’s home cooked food. I relish having family dinners more often.

Sleep was something dearie and I caught up with during the break. We slept. A lot. I didn’t get to complete much of the assignment but revision for eva was pretty good. I worked through assignment 1 and that will pave the way for assignment 2.

It is now less than 2 weeks before fsa exam. I’ve got to work through revision fast, while juggling time between eva assignment as well.

The episode with school was dreadful and it changed my perspective about the school. I just want to get over and done with it.. and should I take a mba in the future, I will definitely opt nus/ntu/smu. I have decided not to appeal for anything and just go with what they “recommend”. I hope to do better and will not waste any more savings.

I will take up a tuition assignment after exams. Accounts is my forte and zx is my ex-student. I hope I can be of some help to her for the coming O levels.. and at the same time it will also add a little more to our savings. Time does not permit me to take up the boy whose mother called me last week. Given the 2 modules I have to take next term, I do not have the luxury of time to travel. I do hope he finds a suitable tutor who can help him.. =)

MR cross country is this Sunday. We are not hopeful that the team will turn up to support us, given the cold treatment from coach. Nevertheless, the 6 of us will still race as a team. I hope to do my personal best.. got to start warming up my legs as I have not ran since last Thursday, but I’ve swam though!

Today will do some easy run and core exercises at the stadium. Tomorrow I am thinking of going for an easy run as well. Thursday I’ll be at training but will not push myself. Fri would love to go swim (getting back into the hype of swimming after doing so at pa’s place)..sat maybe easy 5k run and I will be geared up for sun. Does the plan sound ok?

So much for the update. Will post up some photos we took at pa’s place soon! =)

failure hurts

it felt like i've rammed into a brick wall. it hurts terribly. but i know i should not dwell upon it for too long.

it will be nice to just hide away in a cave right now. i don't feel like doing anything for a while. it's giving my wounds time to heal.

yet time and tide waits for no man. i got 2 assignments due really soon and exams beckoning from a close proximity. somehow the last result left me uncertain how i will cope with the upcoming exams. i really have to hibernate at home and get down to serious mugging.

i must get through this. i must get through this. i MUST GET THROUGH THIS.

FSA textbook DOWN

i am done with FSA text book. now onto the assignment. reading the entire textbook gives me a picture of what i'm suppose to get out of this module.

i can't imagine reading the EVA textbook because it's thicker than the bible. -gulps- my strategy for EVA will be the 'attack' the questions head-on. That's because Mr Graeme has delivered good lectures that helped us understand the context of EVA.

On contrary, the FSA lecturer dictated the slides; of which all the info was found in the textbook. I drifted off during lecture, thanks to his gibberish slang. Hence, I'm left with no other choice but to do the reading myself.. which I have just completed doing so! ahhhhhhhh..good =)

Have to get the assignment out by Sunday and email it to Marilyn for consolidation. This assignment is due next Friday..got to work hard.

Good thing EVA assignment deadline has been postponed till 19th. So I've got a fair bit of time to work things out and also revise for the exams on 20th and 27th.

the beacon

I gave thought to the role my significant half plays in my life. As we perused into our savings plan and target for the year, his role became evident – a beacon.

Definition from Wikipedia

A Beacon is an intentionally conspicuous device designed to attract attention to a specific location.

Beacons help guide navigators to their destinations.

We discussed how we should budget our spendings, how much we intend to have at the end of the year, how we can plan for a holiday... our plan for the coming year..our studies.. he has helped mould my thinking into one that looks afar. No more living for the day..now it’s living for the days ahead.

I remember telling him one day I don’t see anything at the end of the tunnel – in regards to work. He told me, “It’s ok if you don’t see the end. Just have to see the light.”

To me that is powerful as indeed that’s life. No one can fully predict and be totally sure what we will become in the next few decades to come.. but we have ideas and dreams conjured in our minds of where we want to be, what we want to have. These goals are collectively the light that should guide us through.

The burden of work and studies weighed upon me heavily since the start of the 2nd term. There was a lot of dissatisfaction in me since I got to know the pay disparity too. Yet all that gloom gradually dissipated after dearie guided me to understand there are greater things ahead to look forward to; rather than to dwell in the present.

And I concur with what Ma says, “what comes after bitterness will be sweetness”.

I have a beacon in my life – he shines the way to go when I get lost in the dark. And I realize one thing too: You can only see the light if you lifted your head up. When you kept your head hanging low and faced to the ground, you become oblivious to the light.

Hang on, dear friends. We are all in this journey together. We will reach the end of the tunnel. =)

3 persons i will meet in heaven

these are the 3 persons i am sure i will meet in heaven.. because they keep me sane and going on. in no particular order =) thank you for being in my life - dearie, mummy & christin.

and not forgetting dw who listens to my rants too.

i am facing a tough juncture in life and balancing the scale between work and studies is tearing me apart. nonetheless, having all of you around keeps me going.

it's hard but it's worth it

The attitude of a colleague at work really irks me big time. She is a nice person in nature, just that when it comes to work, there’s been quite a change in her performance..and her frequent disappearance from work is definitely not helping. As much as I would like to give her the benefit of doubt, there is a limit to that. Perhaps the bonus payout was not handsome enough for her appetite. Then again, I thought she performed pretty well last year, hence I believe her appraisal ought to be pretty decent?

I’m not in the position to probe more but it just irks me as work piles up for me. If given a say for headcount, I will suggest to give her the boot and hire someone who can be of more help in the department. She’s quite a waste of resources..and not improving the efficiency of the department. Let’s not mention about the pay disparity too.

Dearie and I clocked a marathon last weekend. We did a 30km (dearie did 31.5km) on Saturday at macritchie. On Sunday, we did the 10.4km passion run. If we include the 1km warm up..that’s a full marathon over 2 days!

I am thankful dearie was around on Sunday to pace me through the entire race. After the torturous 30k on Saturday, my itb and hamstring were screaming “ouch” and the tummy upset in the morning really killed me (squatting in the toilet 10min is no joke)..

nonetheless running beside him gave me strength to keep going. He talked to me through the entire run…running up to the water stations to get drinks for me..and kept encouraging me on. He told me my timing at every km.. told me my pace for the whole race.. helped me calculate how long I would be able to complete the run if I kept at XXX pace.. I was too tired to process all the computations he made.. I just knew I must keep up with dearie.. though in fact he was trying to accommodate to my snail pace run. Seeing Vivian pace a guy at the last 1km urged me to keep up. Dearie sped up and prompted me to pick up.. I struggled on to keep up but was finally able to overtake that guy and several others along the way too!

The time stopped. 10.4km in 57.24mins. wow. To me, it was a result beyond my expectation. I gave myself an estimate of 1hr 5mins to finish the 10.4km; given the ache and pain from the 30km. it was a good run.. and completing it at a time I have not expected was a bonus. I was only able to do so because dearie was there =) thank u dearie.

Turning the page, I now have to face with 2 assignments and 2 exams. It is a huge burden on my heart.. as I need to do a lot of reading and research for the assignments and also set aside sufficient time to revise for the exams. The next 1 month will be very trying.. and I am very stressed out now. I'll have to comb through the internet for data.. dissecting the information.. it's a heady brew!! Going to sleep is difficult, as thoughts on the assignment piles on my chest like an anvil.

I need to get through this. I can get through this. I WILL get through this.

Everyone gets the same 24hours a day. If others can do it, why can’t i? it’s just a month, things will get better after this month. Hang on tricia. You are a fighter =)

steinway & sons

dearie said he'll buy me a steinway and sons grand piano if i can play like that..hohoh.. in my dreams! =P

and this is yukie nishimura playing on a steinway & sons concert grand. the sound quality of the piano is sweet.

i have never touched a steinway & sons grand piano in my life. this has become one of my lifelong dream - to play a single chord on one! woohooo..

music

classical music never gets outdated.

bravo!

look at li yundi play..bravo!!

i'm addicted to youtube..because i can listen to all these music.. which i dream of playing but don't think i'll ever be able to. haha. i'll enjoy the maestro play them.. because they do so beautifully. if i play, i'll be creating too much noise pollution. =P

tricia has never played rachmaninov

this may be the solution! i may ONE DAY play rachmaninov if i had those extensions! =D

1 down..a few more to go

it is now 7am in the morning. i have just submitted my EVA assignment. Slept at 12mn last night, woke up 4.30am this morning. finally got this off my shoulders. i've got class at 10am. i feel like running. I am praying for a short day at FSA class.

I am mentally tired. No MR for me..i just want to enjoy my run around my place this morning. have a good shower, go to class. finish class, come home and fall face flat on the bed. zzzz. maybe i'll be able to sleep better tonight. i've been having sleepless nights thinking about the eva assignment.

FSA assignment is due in 2.5weeks. my brain isn't working well to think about it right now. let's only think about it on monday..

run strong

The weekend was fruitful because i managed to accomplish quite a few things I had set out to do.

1. made good progress on my assignment. I’m almost half way through it. I’m only left with the forecasting bit which is more challenging but I’ll work out the figures soon to plug into my spreadsheet. Shouldn’t be too tough I hope.

2. spent time with dearie. we spent sat together at home doing work and resting. I like being at home..because I don’t get to do it much since I started school. I had lots of time to work on my assignment and rest when I wanted to.

3. spent time shopping with mummy. Dearie took us to tampines 1 and I bought some new clothes and bag for mummy. Seeing the sparkle in her eyes just made me feel happy. I bought new shirts for dearie too!

4. did some good quality training. Friday we were at ecp doing beach training. it was tiring but good, because everyone was left sore the next day. we rested on Saturday. Sunday a group of us did mr25’s progressive run. It’s the best 20km I’ve done so far at macrit. The timing may not be fantastic but i just felt great during and after the run. During my 2nd loop, I consciously practiced the 2 in 2 out breathing method dearie taught me and it worked. My pace was in sync with the breathing and I wasn’t out of breath even as I trotted uphill. The last 2 long upslopes took much out of me but I had enough strength to sprint the last 100m to the end. What is most heartening was hearing the mr25 timekeeper uncle said this to me.

Uncle: “ young lady, you’ve improved.”
Me: “waa. You remember me?”
Uncle: “of course, you did the ultra marathon last year.”

He saw improvement in me and it affirmed my hard work. I am tempted to try for the time trial..but I know I’m not a sprint person….yet I yearn to be part of the mr25 fleet for some reason or another..because I love mr..and mr25 is a distinguished group.

Can’t wait for the next weekend to come as we’ll be traveling back to Segamat. Got to continue to stay on running form in the midst of all the feasting! =D

billy prata

we had prata for dinner tonight. canned curry and sambal as side dishes. dearie scored me 9! =) it's surprising how delicious the ntuc prata turned out to be. i'm just happy seeing dearie enjoy the food. he had 3.75 slices and i had 2.25. =)