floaters

i'm not sure if this is any cause for worry but my vision has been plagued with floaters. in my case, it's not squigy ones you see on the photo but mine is a straight black line across my line of vision. i've noticed it very often, in particular to occasions i wake up from a nap on the company bus.

maybe i just need new speckies to correct my deteriorating eyesight. hmm.

What are floaters?

Floaters are little "cobwebs" or specks that float about in your field of vision. They are small, dark, shadowy shapes that can look like spots, thread-like strands, or squiggly lines. They move as your eyes move and seem to dart away when you try to look at them directly. They do not follow your eye movements precisely, and usually drift when your eyes stop moving.

Most people have floaters and learn to ignore them; they are usually not noticed until they become numerous or more prominent. Floaters can become apparent when looking at something bright, such as white paper or a blue sky.

What causes floaters?

Floaters occur when the vitreous, a gel-like substance that fills about 80 percent of the eye and helps it maintain a round shape, slowly shrinks.

As the vitreous shrinks, it becomes somewhat stringy, and the strands can cast tiny shadows on the retina. These are floaters.

In most cases, floaters are part of the natural aging process and simply an annoyance. They can be distracting at first, but eventually tend to "settle" at the bottom of the eye, becoming less bothersome. They usually settle below the line of sight and do not go away completely.

However, there are other, more serious causes of floaters, including infection, inflammation (uveitis), hemorrhaging, retinal tears, and injury to the eye.

Who is at risk for floaters?

Floaters are more likely to develop as we age and are more common in people who are very nearsighted, have diabetes, or who have had a cataract operation.

How are floaters treated?

For people who have floaters that are simply annoying, no treatment is recommended.

On rare occasions, floaters can be so dense and numerous that they significantly affect vision. In these cases, a vitrectomy, a surgical procedure that removes floaters from the vitreous, may be needed.

A vitrectomy removes the vitreous gel, along with its floating debris, from the eye. The vitreous is replaced with a salt solution. Because the vitreous is mostly water, you will not notice any change between the salt solution and the original vitreous.

This operation carries significant risks to sight because of possible complications, which include retinal detachment, retinal tears, and cataract. Most eye surgeons are reluctant to recommend this surgery unless the floaters seriously interfere with vision.

the bondmaid

i found this book in our shelf on monday..and i want to read it!! however, as exams are fast approaching..the only books i am allowed to read will be just textbooks. =(

i miss reading novels..sobs sobs. ahh..my judith mcnaught-es and jude deveraux-es..where art thou?

so glad u r around

One of the aspects I love most about dearie is his matured perspective. having to face a supervisor who often brings more frowns than smiles, he never fails to bring into rational viewpoint whenever I lose my sanity.

This morning, a whole lot of rubble was stirred up and that caused the whole suspension to be murky and turbulent. He called and talked me through the problem.. and having realized it was my mistake that I have overseen the email, I took moments off to reflect. Within minutes, I felt a lot better and things were put into perspective again.

Like dearie said, looking on the positive note of things, at least she is meticulous to pick up little mistakes which I often overlook. This is something I have to learn. By working with her more, I hope I can pick up this trait; which may not always be a bad thing to have. in some ways I find myself stupid, because having worked under her for the past 5 months I am still oblivious to the things she looks out for. The lightbulb lit up above my crown today. Yea, I really should be more careful with those nitty gritty stuff she picks all the time. now I know where and how I can remedy the situation – to have no errors for her to pick whatsoever.

another point dearie pointed out - i work for myself, not her. at the end of the day, i need to work to be paid. and yes, in the all-gloom-and-doom economy out there, it is paramount to have a job, that pays! this jobs has little to wow about, but essentially it pays me. i need the money to study and function.. so there's no escape from it.

i agree totally with dearie on the next point to- no matter where i go, there will always be difficult people to deal with. i can't expect them to fit into me, as i am in no position to expect so. she's a salaried employee of the company too, therefore if she tries something funny, she will get the boot!

A spouse is like a blind-spot picker. It’s having someone who dares to spar with you and tell your mistakes face front. And sometimes, he even helps twist my head left or right wards to understand there is more than just one way of looking at things. thank you dearie.. for being that person who plays this vital role in my life =)

have i posted this photo before? to me the photo depicts all i want to say. he holds me hand and runs along side with me, my dearie billy.

deepa curry photos

what we needed for the dish

the final product

dearie tucking into the curry with brown rice
yay! dearie cleared out the entire bowl!

but that's what he looked after wolfing down all that =P

i only realised i forgot this when i was washing the dishes =(
verdict: 7.5/10 (if only i have added the milk! argh!!)

deepa curry

I gave dearie a surprise yesterday on deepavali holiday..actually not much a surprise as he went grocery shopping with me.. I cooked him one of his favourite food – CURRY! Feasted on curry, on deepavali. How apt!

Dearie scored it a 7.5 (out of 10 and not 20 I hope! =P).. however, I feel I’m far off from what mum can do. =( I burnt it a little.. added the stuff in the wrong sequence..and added way too much water.. best thing, I forgot the milk!!?! Argh. Stab stab stab myself!

I’ll upload the photos tonight. Let me find the photo of what mum cooked vs mine. It’s heaven and 3 feet down the earth. I need to practice more. Hence dearie got to bear with a few more experimental rounds. Perhaps I should consult shi-fu for enlightenment; instead of dumping all the ingredients into the pot.. on top of that, I certainly need a deeper pan because our frying pan is too shallow..and using the pot caused everything to stick. I had a hellish time scrubbing up the mess. =X

Hope dearie liked the surprise nonetheless.. =)

We spent the holiday in our best loved simple way. morning we went for a run around our home.. I did about 11.5km..and dearie did a lot more.. after which, he managed to pump up the basketball and we played that at a court nearby. It was pretty evident I don’t have much a making of a basketballer as after 15mins of throwing and dribbling..my arms were wobbly and all the shots went haywire. Dearie taught me a few nice moves. Haha. I commented on how we should form a team the next time we play basketball during runfanatic training.

Exams are fast approaching; so are assignment deadlines. There’s plenty to be done. Work hard now, enjoy later =)

p.s: the photo on the left is NOT the curry i cooked. will upload the photos of the one i cooked in the next few days.

emerging out of it

Dearie came to the rescue of this damsel in distress. Tadah! I’m alive..kicking..and making a whole lot of fuss again. ho ho ho!

It’s terrible to be stuck in a rut. I hate being in the ultra-pessimistic mode. A listening ear from dearie and a power-nap helped made the world a little brighter. Not that those thorns in the flesh dissipated into thin air..nor did dearie hocus-pocus them into submission.. nonetheless, I came into resignation that these thorns in life exist for a reason.

Instead of focusing my time on negative energies like these, I prefer to channel my attention to things that excite me. my bones ache for a good workout and I can’t wait for tomorrow’s training and mon’s mr relay.

Want to run more on mon, so praying for good weather! 2 tuition following that..then I get to stay home and do some studying.

A lot to catch up on. I’m lagging behind revision. =(

So quickly..we’re coming to the end of October. One step nearer to bonus. not looking forward to appraisal because thorn A is conducting it. bleah.

thorn

He’s a thorn in our lives; some one I wish I could remove for good. Why can’t he learn and grow up? Have we not been accepting enough? He has always seen me as a failure; I’ll never forget the words he used to condemn my life with. Over the years I’ve learnt to ignore his never ending wants. Just leave them, after a while he forgets about them. However these days he’ll jack his wants up and goes out to get them on his own, after which claiming from the company. Argh. This is ridiculous and I wonder how can I put a stop to it. Mum is torn..and she always give in. I’m infuriated but there’s nothing I can do.

It saddens me tremendously that I can’t do anything to rescue my mum from a person like that. I wish I am successful, then I can get my mum to stop working, stay by my side and retire.

This will be my driving force.

What I envisage and working towards:

- graduate with masters in 1 year’s time. Take graduate photos with family =)

- change job. Hopefully something better paying and with better prospects

- work hard to earn more and do well in career

- have a kid!

- buy a bigger flat

- move mum in so she can take care of the kid

- earn enough to be able to go for family holidays once a year

- dearie and I drive a Subaru forester =)

The above is still subjected to approval with dearie..but that’s what I dream of having and those are what I’ll be working towards.

If u haven’t notice, he’s not in our plan because I don’t intend to include him in the first place. mum is the closest kin I have next to dearie.. and she will always be one of the driving forces behind me. I remembered working hard during exams and what kept me going was always mummy’s encouragement. She never fails to tell me “jia you, do your best” in the morning before my exams. I learnt not to be a burden to her and I will continue to do that..i want to be the one to lighten her burden..and in the years to come, I want to carry her burden for her.

We don’t just live for ourselves..our lives intertwined with the loved ones around us. I live for dearie..my mum..my family, friends..and myself =)

time of unrest

What goes on in her mind baffles me. the rift between her and us has widen drastically because of what she just did today. I find her foolish for not considering what her actions would have done. It’s not before long when no one in the department would want to even utter a word to her. I wonder if it was of these same reasons she left her earlier jobs.

We won’t know when she’ll strike and I find her actions erratic. A part of me feels the uncertainty gnawing on me. I am struggling to hang on solely for the bonus.

i must put my guards up now as it is a time of unrest. For as long she is around, there will not be peace and we are all susceptible to her manipulation.

How long can I last? 2 months? 6 months?

training and shoes

Despite feeling totally shacked out, I totally enjoyed the training yesterday. I haven’t pushed myself so hard for quite a while and I embraced every moment of it. Christine did a longer 5km set while wee ling and I were asked to do the 600m and 400m sets. I definitely did better than my Monday attempt. Running alone vs running with someone.. the latter made me work harder. I value sham’s coaching..and from now till end of the year, I’ll want to be diligent in attending training sessions. Christine lost quite a lot of weight and she looks fantastic now. I remember the first time she joined us, she struggled to finish the 3km run. Yesterday, she completed 5km in 35mins. Impressive!

I managed to meet the 75% assignment target but I got this huge cloud of blur-ness on top of me when I got there. I am lost in the myriad of terminology and concepts. Alike last term, qm was the module that got me worrisome, this term it’ll be POF(principles of finance). econs is more of concepts, less of calculations.

Right now I’m working on my assignment..going through my notes..text..whatever I can do to complete it by the next 1-2days.

I’ve been wearing the black leather shoes dearie bought me about 2 years ago. The leather has cracked..the left sole has a little hole..but I can’t bear to throw them away.. these are the most comfortable shoes I’ve owned so far..and it cost dearie over rm100. dearie bought me another pair of black leather shoes to replace these some while ago, nonetheless, I haven’t started using the new one. Whenever I’m tempted to shove them down the chute, I remember dearie’s shoes. The last pair he threw away was worn till the sole nearly came off. The current pair he has has a hole on one side but he’s still wearing them. Somehow he has rubbed his thriftiness on to me. he’s always generous to buy things for me but stingy on himself. It reminds me not to take things for granted..and I will only throw away things when they are beyond using condition. =)

Today’s john’s bday! Happy birthday to you, brother! =)

double yay!

i gotten a hd for accounting. i was hoping for a d actually..but i'm thankful.

thank you dearie for keeping me company through the nights i studied..even till times u were so tired u dozed off on the sofa..

thank you mummy for helping me check my assignments for errors.

will work harder this term. this is the first small hurdle. i know there are many tougher ones way ahead and i will press on.

this smiley face cuter rite?

things coming together

Tricia pats herself. Not bad not bad. I managed to complete 1 quarter report out of the 2 required. Reason being the other company’s accounts is currently still under adjustment, hence I am not able to proceed with preparation of the reports. secondly, I finished my POF assignment 1 half way. yay! I managed to slog till almost 12mn to hit the half way mark. Due to a meeting yesterday, I didn’t get to even open my POF file, lest work on it at all.

Today’s resolution:

1. Prepare the template for quarter report. this will speed up the process when the accounts are ready.

2. Start a little of the conso worksheets. Probably the related parties transaction and inter-co recon.

3. finish POF assignment up till 75%. That means hit item 7 or 8 by today.

As I sat at the bus stop reading business times before tuition, I felt the articles in the papers seem to mean a lot more now. prior to the econs and finance class, I read them at face value..now I feel I have a better understanding of what am I really reading. Especially on recession and economic downturn.. the micro and macro effects on the economy. Why Singapore has such huge reserves..why must it understate its budget surplus..how budget deficits are financed by government debt.. balance of payments..what kind of role does central banks play.. the spike in interbank lending rates.. LIBOR, SIBOR.. how the government simulates the economy by injecting government spending..lowering interest rates.. fiscal and monetary policies.. everything seems to link together seamlessly and I simply love the big picture of things I am getting. It’s like this huge and jumbled up puzzle bits coming together to fit.. there are still a lot of missing pieces I am gathering..but honestly I am looking forward to the next econs class!! Can’t wait to hear more of what Prof Peter Wilson has to impart to us =)

I wore a top which I kept in the closet for a long while yesterday..i felt it fitted badly on me; like the checkered pants I wore last week. somehow I felt it was tacky and I looked pretty awful in it. I’m packing it away after laundering it.. it’s becoming evident that clothes I’ve worn 5-6years ago do not always fit as they do anymore, even though I haven’t grown “out” of them.. perhaps they have outlived the era they belong to. haha.

Looking forward to training this evening. Rickety old bones getting her act back. I must admit my fitness has dropped drastically. but I do agree with wee ling that it’s not too late to start! I have less than 1.5mths to scsm and I do hope I can maintain the same kind of timing I achieved last year. Not confident of it, but I will do whatever I can. I am a fighter, and fighter doesn’t give up without a fight.

lazy bugger gets her act together

I confess I’ve been slacking with my POF assignment. I do need to get my act together, yet my brain isn’t moving as efficiently as I want it to be.

By hook or by crook, I must finish half of it today and another half tomorrow. c’mon tricia, stop being the lazy bugger!

I lost my momentum in reading articles etc..i still got a whole stack of FT under my desk.. a whole file of articles I want to peruse..and several print outs I want to investigate into. These days I lug around too much. way toooo much.

Some things I resolute to do today

1. finish 75% of my 2 quarter reports

2. finish 50% of my POF assignment

If I can manage to meet what I’ve set out today, I’ll get myself something. Hmm. Haven’t thought of what to get for myself. But let’s see how close I come to it first. Let’s begin the race against time right now! =D

need to run

i need to run alot alot more.

i want to run everyday.

i want to look into the mirror and love what i see - someone strong, lean and confident.

there's no class this coming weekend, hence i must make it for runfanatic training on sat. come sunday, dearie and i will do macrit loops. hope to do more loops.

i have this momentum running through my veins and i am going to do something about it. i will see something come to past. i know what i want and i am going to get it.

weight loss is the new fad

Tuition has been postponed for today. Good thing I msged Anna this morning to confirm. I’m guessing she might be having some celebrations after her farewell assembly, hence may not make it home on time for tuition.

Dearie is super duper packed with tuition for this entire week. =( Please don’t overtire yourself.. and I know he’s going to be somewhat frustrated that he isn’t able to train. Therefore I’ll try not to mention anything about training in front of him. and I need to come up with some clever ideas on how I can cheer him up as I do understand when tiredness gets the better of us, one can get pretty grumpy.

I made a lousy start with the bland beehoon and half cooked french beans. Oh gee, tricia has to fare better than this =(

Econs through the weekend was insightful..and I’m hoping to read up a few publication of hoon hian teck and friedman. I printed some BOP and Current account data from the singstat website. Want to take a look and do some comparison with that of US.

One topic dearie hates hearing me mention is – weight loss. I guess guys will never fathom why girls have this peculiar obsession with losing weight. I have always struggled with it and I’ve yet to fully come to terms that this. Day after day, I still dream waking up weighing lesser.. my arms looking slimmer…fitting into that snug levis size 25.

Dearie tells me of his former days when he attempted to lose weight. Running 10km everyday, eating only green apples and cereals for dinner. Deep within me, I wish I could do something like that, just as an attempt to lose that last few kgs I’ve struggled so long with. If dearie can do it, I can do it too. I just need some self control and discipline..and I need to feed dearie on another table too! This will stop him from interfering with my weight loss programme. haha!!

i passed QM!

my first result for my first term. i PASSED QM! so glad to clear this. 10 more modules to come. i'm thankful for a good start. jia you tricia!!

cheery+quest

Cheery colours make tricia a cheery girl. I was cladded in nice U2 orange top (dearie bought this), wore flowery earrings dearie made and in the toilet, I can “admire” my fushia pink “inner-beauty”.

Recently I’ve been clearing my waredrobe gradually. A colleague commented on how retro a pair of pants I wore looked. I felt a slight tinge of quirkiness. Checkered and flaring at the ends, it is indeed a pretty cheesy pair of pants to think about it. after washing it clean, I folded it and stuffed it into the “reject” bag. I’ve been clearing steadily clothes I’ve owned for years; some either worn with fluff or simply too outdated to be even worn out to the market. By clearing them out, I am making myself wear the newer and trendier clothes I’ve got. I don’t want to auntify myself all the time..i’m a young professional and I ought to dress like one =)

Reading runners world today, there was a page on a anorexia girl who wrote in to running doc for advice to lose weight. She’s intaking 600cal a day and exercises off 300cal by running. She found her weight stagnated and sought running doc for a reason why. The response from the readers on the comments section was overwhelming. Many shared their journeys out of the eating disorder and how it ruined the many good years of their lives and wrecked their health.

A lady’s quest to stay in shape..or even to shed weight never ends. Because of the “perfect” image forged by the media on how beautiful women should look (read: tall and slim), women chase after this mindless dream of looking slim. I confess that I am one of those women who yearns so much to lose a couple of pounds. But I’ve gone through a journey myself, and it taught me that I must not do it at the expense of my health. It feels exhilarating to stand on the scale and find I’ve gone down by a few kgs..but the dizzy spells and rumbling stomach are not the price that should come with it.

I’ve experimented with many products in the market that promised weight loss..name it, I’ve probably tried them..but all failed to work. there is no miracle pill to lose weight; the only way is to watch your diet and exercise. Watching diet does not equate to stop eating or just surviving on apples and cabbage. It means giving the body quality food to stay satiated and energy to exercise.

In my life time, I’ve gone to my lowest of 43kgs to highest of 51kg..now I am hovering around 46-47kgs. albeit feeling heavy and fleshy sometimes, I will not go into drastic dieting nor starving. I enjoy my Cadbury chocolate.. occasional oreos.. my brown rice.. veg.. noodles.. ban mian.. all the nice food out there.. I do not stop eating. I stopped counting calories too..but I do keep a food log as it’s been a long time habit. I eat till I’m 70-80% full; not 100%. I eat so as to keep training. training allows me to eat. Both go hand in hand.

Ok..i’m still lamenting about the last 2-3kgs I want to lose..i don’t quite have the determination to cut out some food I love… and I can’t afford more time to train given the commitments I have.

Maybe I should give myself a challenge. I actually made it to the 44kg mark when I was training more intensively. I can start this out at end of October. This is a healthy challenge.. and I will be preparing myself for SCSM and ultra in december too!

not bad!

Well done tricia! i deserve a small pat on my back as I managed to complete all the questions to the study guide for POF yesterday! yay! I’m making good progress. I’ll start on my assignment 1 later and I hope to finish it by mid of next week, in order to check my answers against those from my team mates.

I’ve managed to keep up with my lunch time exercise for the past 3 days as well. I haven’t missed one since I started last week, so that’s worth applauding for too! Keep it up tricia! because no matter how small an effort is an effort. No matter how small a step, is a step. All these little effort and steps accumulate and add up into something greater! Hence, keep persisting!

Running mileage isn’t impressive this week as fatigue took the better of me since Sunday; attributable to dayima. Hope to catch up abit on sat’s training.

Work has been at its usual flat-lined progress. As I am typing this entry, I am trying to close another of my accounts, which I aim to finish by this morning. this will give me ample time in the second half of the day to prepare for anna’s class and also start on my assignment.

Planning to do a morning run tomorrow morning as I’ll be having class till 10pm.. Saturday will be runfanatics training at ccab.. Sunday..if time permits, I’ll love to hop into gym for a good 2hours work out. =) training keeps me sane. It gives me time-out from the daily grail of work and studies. And most importantly, it helps me stay in shape to fit into my clothes. Haha. i’m not hopeful but if I can slim down a little before our actual wedding day, it’ll be such a bliss!

uncut diamonds

Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

little pebble

We were briefed on the economic crunch from ag today. It’s something we are all aware of. Cash flows. Collecting debts. Credit limit. All the measures to ensure good cash flows and minimize write down of debts. The whole economy is down and it affects everyone. Blessed are those who are still in school, as they needn’t come in face with the recession to most extent. Years like these can make or break companies, each step must be made with caution.

Ag reiterated exactly what I mentioned to michelle yesterday, “cash is King”. Haha. I have potential of a finance director! =P

I perused into how the economic crunch is impacting on us. Our exposure of risk in relation to investment is fairly minimal. Our investments are mainly on long term plans, which though may not yield us an attractive return, but risks are low. On the other side of the coin, indirect impact of inflation does hit us straight on. managing our finances to maximize what we are getting out of every dollar becomes something we must be wise on. main financial commitments are fundamental bills everyone incurs. On a whole, it eats into how much we can save..but we will still do fine as long we continue to work. I can sense a pressing need to find means to save more.. as yes, cash is indeed king. In times of uncertainty, the liquidity cash gives is the assurance that lets us sleep in peace at night.

When things hit the bottom of the well, it will bounce back. of course, the next question one would probably ask is, “when?” I shrug as I’m no economist nor financial analyst. From what I’m gathering off papers, most influential persons are saying in the next 1-2 years. we can take comfort that market moves in a cyclical fashion.. a dip will follow with a peak..it goes up and down, up and down..

I thought about how it’ll affect chances of employability if I am to go out there. companies will be conservative in hiring .. packages may not be as attractive as before.. companies will still be hiring, probably more to replacing people who have left.., more than opening new positions due to expansion. Despite all these, I guess if we are gems, companies will still be willing to take us in. hence my aim is to file out my jagged edges and polish myself to become a gem with worth.

Team mates have emailed out on date to meet for assignment. Woohoo. I got to get my butt moving. Need to plan out time and things to cover. I managed to read up 1 chapter of notes yesterday. need to read text. Work on questions. Digest the information. Need time!!

Econs is this week. gear yourself tricia!

I am working hard for a cause. i’m a little worthless pebble but I believe one day I will be a gem, as long as I keep refining and polishing myself! =)

drawing strength

i am hanging on with all the strength I have got till end of this month. ZX’s lessons end yesterday (hooray!!) ..next to count down is toward HS’ on 29/10 and Anna on 30/10. 8 more lessons for HS and 7 more for Anna. Hang on hang on!!

conversing with dearie yesterday made me realize how short this school term is. I commenced the term last week and it’ll end on 22/11/08. there’ll be classes this week, next week I’m free, followed with 2 more weeks of intensives. Following one week of break after the intensives, exams are next in line. though it’s a super pant up term, it also means I get a nice 6 weeks of break till 2009! Duality effect I guess.

I’ve began revising POF yesterday..and I got through 2 chapters of questions in my study guide. I aim to complete the next 2 chapters the next 1-2days. To got through the text book questions..and starting on my assignment 1 soon.

Econs module this weekend..it’ll be a hellish time because swee tin warned me of the short assignment 1 notice. Basically we’ll be given the assignment on Friday night and we have to present it on Sunday morning. I only got Saturday to work on it.. gee! Where is my sloman econs text?

I could sense dearie’s weariness from work, project and tuition yesterday night as we lied in bed. Underneath the blanket I reached out for his hand and held it tight. It was my way of telling him that I am with him and we will go through this together. This is how we draw strength from each other.