I think it is only fair that the company provides its staff with decent tools. Obviously the laptop is not decent. It is almost comparable to the 10 year-old desktop I used in my previous company. Call me impatient, but when you are pushed by the management to produce timely reports and quick responses, the slow laptop can really top the frustration off.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
laptops & leaps
I think it is only fair that the company provides its staff with decent tools. Obviously the laptop is not decent. It is almost comparable to the 10 year-old desktop I used in my previous company. Call me impatient, but when you are pushed by the management to produce timely reports and quick responses, the slow laptop can really top the frustration off.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
small speck big world

Monday, March 29, 2010
cervelo no more
I am looking to sell my cervelo bike soon. It is sad that I have to price it so low but 2nd hand bikes don’t seem to have much value. In this affluent society, used items are not in demand. People can easily afford new bikes.Thursday, March 25, 2010
investing?
I read about a one-eyed investor who shorted against sub-prime mortgages, profiteering millions upon its collapse. Shrewd I would say. He is like the less publicized Warren Buffet, who saw what others couldn’t see. He had an autism like disorder though and somehow attributed to his obsession with facts and justice. I liked what I read but wondered if I can one day become like him.Thursday, March 18, 2010
dreamer
This is soon going to be a monthly routine – review of the month gone by. Today marks 2 months into the new job. Audit is soon coming to an end (finally!). I have sent in the draft accounts and hope the finalized copy can be out soon.My boss and supervisor back then had their own rooms and windows. My seat, along with the rest in my department, was within the building, window-less. I told myself then, "I want to have my own personal cubicle with window."
And now I have. I’m in this nice cosy backend cubicle, right next to the window. I like looking out and spending moments staring blankly at the expressway..into the greenery and thinking, "it’s good to be able to see so much from this level. I will be able to see more if I climbed higher."
Friday, March 12, 2010
new pursuit with UOL

Wednesday, March 10, 2010
hello tokyo

Thursday, February 18, 2010
1 month
Today marks 1 month and I am still struggling. My head droops down and my shoulders hang low. Yesterday night I broke record and left last in the office. Insomnia plagued me and my nose so stuffy I could barely breathe.
How am i? if I could truthfully answer, I would say terrible. I try to tell myself it takes time but the torrents keep washing me backwards. A couple of times I wept, wondering where all these is going to get me to.
I hate this unhappiness that’s gnawing on me and it’s taking its toil.
How long can I hang on? Barely a month? Am I not a fighter?
Friday, February 05, 2010
3rd week
I have hit the end of my 3rd week with my new company. The work burden has been heavy; with last year’s back log and audit to deal with and also the new year’s reporting to be done.At several junctures within the 3 weeks, I was close to giving up. Dearie’s constant encouragement kept me going.
I often come to office with a heavy heart, wondering how late into the night do I have to work into. Which having done that, I still can’t clear many of the outstanding on my plate.
I miss having time to clean our house and cooking for dearie. I miss having time to run and let the endorphins rush through my body. i have traded much of that to be in a position higher than before.
Perhaps my capabilities are not sufficient, because I find myself struggling with the yoke clumsily. They say it takes time to accustom to the new environment and expectations. Yet again, I feel less than competent.
When I get home I am often dead tired. My mind says I want to go for a run to refresh myself, but my body just wants to sink into the couch. My mind says I want to cook a nice hot dinner for dearie to come home to, but by the time I get to leave office, it has past dinner time.
I still need time to come to terms with a new lifestyle. I am bearing some hope that things will get better after I clear the backlog and audit.
I really yearn to start work this year right. I want to get things right. I hope it is not that difficult.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
reality and change
The reality of corporate world – unforgiving and selfish.My immediate response within my heart was, “why should I?”
Why should I give up a good opportunity right before me, to provide my current company a smooth transition?
They have no intention to develop me and funny it was that she asked what plans I have.
Even if I have stated my plans to you, would you give me the chance to achieve it?
If it is yes, then they would not have advertised for the accountant position.
So what is her plan for me if I stayed? Assist the accountant for another 5-10 years?
She did not ask me to stay on till audit, because she knows I have a better offer which is the chance she did not want to give me.
I am willing to forgo the bonus because I believe the potential of my new job exceeds that.
Someone out there believes in me. Someone is going to give me a chance to leap one step up. And because someone has faith in me, I will give my all to achieve it.
Change is painful but necessary. I will not want to fall into that comfort zone. Sometimes because we have been in the same place for too long, moving becomes exceedingly difficult. We consider too much about the new challenges and doubt our abilities to face them. Before we know it, we shirk and delay change. I see that evidently when I converse with long-serving colleagues.
New company and business nature? take time to understand!
New accounting system? Go for training and pick up!
New bosses and colleagues? Take effort to build relationships.
New scope of work? Read up and learn!
New things bring learning and growth. =)
Monday, January 04, 2010
first post of 2010
I am on my final lap in my current company. I have made a list of work I must complete before my last day on the 14th. Wednesday, December 30, 2009
the old has gone
Monday, December 21, 2009
I Graduate!!
My last paper. =) I cleared.Very thankful and grateful for those who have been with me through the journey. (Oops, another speech from me again)
But this is the last time I’ll be doing this (no more academic studies for me for the next 5 years at least!) so I want to express it nevertheless.
Thank you to dearie for the countless nights and days you have stayed with me to keep me company while I studied and rushed assignment. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made.
Thank you to mummy for her encouragement. I promise I will continue to do you proud and shine in the things I do.
Thank you, pa and ma for their support. Ma always made sure we had enough to eat and would get medication for me whenever she heard I was unwell. Pa was the one who first got me thinking about my life.
Thank you, Christin for being the listening ear and sister in my life. You constantly cheered me on and told me that the finish line was near.
Thank you to all my friends who jia-you-ed me on before my exams..hehe.
All of you made a difference in my life =) So glad to finish this lap with pretty decent results. Something I would dare to print out and show my prospective employers in the future! =D
Today I officially mark the completion of all the 3 goals set when I started my career back into the corporate world.
It is easy to set goals..but the crux is to be more than a goal setter, but be a goal achiever. I continue to work to be a goal achiever. That's my pursuit for life.
Next lap, here I come!!
cleaning and scrubbing for the new year
Spent a great weekend with dearie at home. We spent an accumulative 10 hours spanned over 3 days, to do so. Our home feels organized, clutter-free and a lot more pleasant now. In fact, I commented it feels tidier than when we first moved in. we dumped a whole lot of junk, cleared out old t-shirts to be given away and bought a new rack for the store room. With the rack, we created a lot more space and we organized our items in boxes to be stored away.It was a joint effort and doing it together made the difference. =)
It is a lot more welcoming now for pa and ma who are visiting this Thursday. We cleared the main toilet so it could be used and I will give it a good scrub down to get it sparkling clean.
Apart from cleaning, we went shopping and had training on Sunday. The Christmas crowd was crazy but sales were enticing. Dearie bought me another Christmas gift from G2000 – a full working suit. He reminded it was my dream to wear a power suit and strut down
We were both down with sore throat and runny nose for a couple of days and I believe that was why we felt a little lethargic during training. Don’t give up dearie. Let’s train up for a good run in
3.5 working days for this week. Another 3.5 working days for next week, before it marks the end of 2009.
I am so looking forward to the Christmas holiday with our family and of course, the new year!
Friday, December 18, 2009
just another 15.5days
This isn’t good but I can’t help staring at my calendar daily and counting down mentally. The whole sense of helplessness looms over my department these days. It seems so familiar as we last had this feeling during
I took a while to try to fathom her ways. i wondered what she is looking for. But I’ve stopped doing so a while ago. It was an utter waste of time and needless as well.
Things will still go on. work is work. as much as we abhor her ways, we can come to work daily, fulfill our duties, draw our deserved pay and continue to let days go by as they come.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
me too!
then i decided to look back to my seremban timing. find on the left the timing i posted in july this year. 1.56.47.
during scsm last sun, i did a 1.56.39! yayy..pb for me too! eh..8 sec!
considering the following:
1. the longest distance i've ran for the past 1month was 12km.
2. my weekly mileage for the past 1 month averaged 40km. I don't know how i survived the time i wasn't running. =P
3. I ran 8km hard MR on the Sat before Sun's scsm. Don't tell coach i didn't complete the prescribed distance because my legs went jelly.
Coach was ardently against me going for sun's half. he nagged..nagged and nagged alot. basically he felt i have not trained for it and it was disruptive to my marathon training.
but i still went. =X
yesterday i suffered =( mid way through intervals my legs wanted to give up. i was on the verge of confessing i did sun so that i can be let off from the rest of the sets. but coach pushed me on. i was so breathless i nearly teared. i bet i must have ran very barrel-like because i felt my striding went all hay-wire.
coach said, "if it's not painful, then it's not training."
he has a good goal for me and that is something i want to achieve. the determinant to whether i can achieve it will be how hard i train now. =)
Monday, December 07, 2009
up we go!
I am happy =) just glad that my skills are valued. I will be taking a step up from where I am and I am excited about the change.I am looking forward to learning new things and challenging myself further. i may fall short now but I will catch up.
I believe the tide is turning for us. i took a plunge into goals I have set for myself. I bagged 2 of them and the last one is very close now.
As I verbalized my life development to my interviewers, i am embarking into the season of “doing”. It is putting the things I learned into use and gaining experience. Learning must continue but not in the form of academic for now. It is learning on the job now and I am praying for good mentors in the next phase of my career.
It will be very steep learning curve up ahead but I know I will get there. Regardless how steep, I believe I will move the higher level as long I keep on moving.
I remember there was one adventure race which dearie and I participated in. we were made to bike up fraser's hill on our mountain bikes. It was really agonizing as the road was winding and the going up seemed never ending. Our legs were tired after many hours of running (my hamstrings were tight and pulling) and with our tires pumped up to only 40psi, the journey was made tougher. The markers on the road were inaccurate and we could see no end to the road ahead of us. Several times, I broke down and was close to giving up. During then, dearie was there; he hugged me and told me to keep going. And he helped distract the pain i was experiencing by singing backstreet boys’ songs to me too. (I called him backside boy =P)
It warms my heart to know i have loved ones with me in this journey. I know I will get there. I'm going for the top and nothing less. I promised i will do all of you proud and my journey continues.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
training has been feeling hard these days. i don't seem to find myself getting faster and my legs aren't holding up well enough either. they've been sore and achy more often than they should..and they take a darn long time to recover =( i wondered if pain is good, no pain no gain?made some marked progress in my revision over the long hari raya weekend. i've covered much according to plan. counting down to the 2 weeks before the exam.
dearie and i were out shopping after the run. we were at city hall and there was a peugeot road show. we were awed by the 308 and i proclaimed it as my car-to-be (not knowing the price tag attached to it).. now that i know how much it costs, i'm wondering if i dreamt a little to far with the car-to-be. hmm..maybe in another 20-30 years' time? hahaha..
i am suppose to be revising but i decided that i am going to spend the night sending out job applications. i must scale higher.. and the only way is to seek for better prospects and move. it gets a little disappointing that none of my applications sent so far yielded an interview. yet, i shouldn't stop here, should i. keep finding. keep seeking. only those who seek will find. only those who keep climbing will reach the summit. and it's the top i am looking at.
i liked what dearie told me after the run at macritchie today. he was pointing out my upslope running technique..but i felt it is applicable to my career as well.
" keep looking up. look at the top of the slope and run with your head up. when u look up the ground will look flat. if you keep looking down, it'll be like a never ending upslope. look up, open up your strides and run up."
running is so much like life. =)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
i dream to be somebody
I got it, finally. I’ve got the cpa in my bag now. One more in another 2 months time which I will make it happen. I am grateful how dearie stayed by my side every night I had to mug through exams and endured my rant about how tired I was. My mummy’s jia you never fail to light up my day and lift my spirit. Ma and Pa’s support and care helped me take the first step out. Christin is a role model to me that learning never stops.
This is bonus added to my accreditation but it’s not the end. It is the beginning. Now is the time to head out and earn back what I have put in. it’s a lot of time, money and effort. I have learnt so much, surely I must put it to some use at least.
I have achieved most if not all the goals I set out for myself more than 2.5 years ago, when I stepped into this company. Now I am setting new goals and working to achieve them. My next goals in sight are:
1. Find a new job which will utilize acquired knowledge and skills
2. Earn and save more money so I can recoup my depleted savings
3. Find a good company and position to move into, so I can gather valuable experience of the next level
No more academic learning for now; practicality and experience are the foci.
Those who have looked down upon me, I am proving you wrong. In the next couple of years, I want to be someone who can lift my head high before you and tell you, “you’ve been wrong about me. I am not a wreck and learning is not useless. I am someone now.”
Friday, November 13, 2009
training & assignment-ing
A relaxed day at work. supervisor on business trip. Boss not around. 2 colleagues on half day leave. It seems like the weekend came around early this week.Started on the ‘full package’ training this week. Swim was tough for I haven’t done proper swimming (don’t include the wadding at pa’s pool) in a long while. The 1.5km took me forever to finish. My strokes felt heavy and ‘splashy’.. it just made me miss swimming with iggy. Under his coaching, at least I felt more streamlined and efficient..now I am back to my zabalang strokes..and my kicking is back to the break-surface-of-the-water sort. Maybe I should do some kicking drills next week.
The runs with the new team were awesome. I really enjoyed their company and I love chit chatting with different individuals during warm up and cool downs. =) I hope to integrate into the team better in the days to come.
My body is taking some time to get used to the new form of training. I’ve stopped feeling jittery about resting.
Will be obedient and listen to what coach says..and keeping my fingers crossed, it will enable me to achieve a pb at
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
the quest starts now
The quest began yesterday. It took some mustering of courage to click upon the send button; like tossing a coin into the fountain and believing that the wish made will come true. Perhaps something new may pose uncertainty. Perhaps it might be worse. But i’ll never know till I try.
Setting everything aside, I must tread into unknown waters.
Don’t have to wait till graduation or for that reply from icpas. I am starting my quest now! Charge!!
Monday, November 09, 2009
staying sharp & focused
It’s time to focus again. My thoughts have been wandering wild and affecting my ability to concentrate. My priority list goes:
1. assignment in 2 weeks. Got to get that out.
2. exam in 1 month. Clear this and I’m ready for graduation.
3. training with km for the next 3 months. I feel uncomfortable cutting out all the mileage I used to do. I’ve been told to pick up swimming, something I’m not good at. But I know I must follow what he says so that I can benefit from the training.
4. job hunting. I feel uncertain with the applications because I have yet to bag my masters nor have icpas reverted. My colleague put in her application 10 months ago and is still waiting for them to respond too.
5. interviews.. new job. Really want to push my career up by a notch. I’ve been moving in gear 1 for a long while. Time to go to gear 2.
Focus..look ahead..and stay sharp. =)
Thursday, November 05, 2009
term 3 cleared
Really thankful to clear both papers for last term. These are the best term for the year so far. I am truly down to my last paper for the course – Corporate Finance. This term is the final lap of this race and I must do it well and complete it in good style.I shall leave my words of thanks till the very end; give everyone a hug and tell my loved ones how much I appreciate the support and encouragement they have showered on me during this journey.
Meantime, it is dearie’s turn to the battle. Wishing him all the best for his micro-processor assessment this evening. His exams are drawing very near too. We will work hard together.
I’m still waiting for my icpas response which is taking too long. 2nd intensive for corp finance in 2.5 weeks. Assignment and presentation are due on the Sunday of the 2nd intensive. This will have a 50% weightage. After 2nd intensive, another 3 weeks before my final exam of the year. I am getting so close I can literally smell the graduation scroll in my hands!
Yes, I am looking around for career advancement. Time to move on.
Oh ya, out of random, still can’t decide when I should go for my haircut. Hmm..
Monday, November 02, 2009
flashes her fangs
For a moment I felt frustrated with the disparity of work load. Here I am slogging away since the moment I stepped into office, while she is sitting there dozing off. And how can she possibly be paid more than me? I cannot fathom why and this is a strong push factor to get myself out of this rut.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
long lapses. new things to come.
I seem to have fewer things to blog about these days. Perhaps I am finding less need to air them in this virtual space, as I found listeners among my loved ones. The rise of facebook somehow overshadowed blogs. People get immediate responses to a wide audience of friends on fb. Why still blog then?I find I have lesser time to halt and pen down thoughts at work these days too.
Life is pretty much the same. Still waiting for results. How come
Work has been relatively the same too. Still the same rants and unjustified feeling. More work to do these days as I am covering for a colleague on 2 weeks’ mc.
I’m running a lot more with dearie these days. =) I am looking to sell my marathon slot as I have been advised that will do my
There were episodes which I feel I have learnt from. The frailty of human relationships. The power of words. Anger management.
School starts this week. 7 weeks to my final exam. And if all things go smoothly, graduation will be well in sight.
There will soon be new beginnings..new endeavours.. new things to learn.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Budget for my holiday
In effort to save for my holiday next year, I have revived my expenditure taking habit. It kind of got dwindled off after starting it several months ago.This time it is to ensure I don't spend needlessly and that I save enough for next year.
To my friends and family, please pardon me if I may seem a scrooge. It is not without a valid reason!
I'm a cheapo..so what?! =P
Newsletter writeup
I was given the opportunity to contribute to the company newsletter. Tasked to do a write up for the 5-days training course i did.I was faced with a drought of word; it just didn't flow. So the following was what i managed to come out with. I did ask the coordinator to do whatever editing required because i think i lacked content and didn't seem to make much a point. I will post up the edited version, should it differ much from this. hahahaha
Achieve Training
The 10th run of the Achieve training took place over 15, 17, 25, 28 and 30 September, with 9 participants from different departments. Much was covered over a span of 5 days; provided opportunities to interact with colleagues we would otherwise have little contact with, channels to voice our perspectives and a common ground to challenge each others’ ideas. All that gave learning added dimensions of discovery and application.
“If I hear it, I forget it. If I see it, I remember it. If I do it, I know it. If I discover it, I use it.”
at least give me some credit for trying la! =P
