if you aren't hurting, you ain't running

Joined the velocity run yesterday and my foot started to hurt after 3km. =( sera was pretty concerned about it and kept asking if I was alright. It was painful, but bearable pain. Much more bearable than the itch of not being able to run.

The aftermath - my foot hurts right this moment. I am convinced I ought to lay off running for a few days but I would still want to do macrit on Saturday.

Farhan was telling me an excerpt from the Dean Karnazes Ultramarathon man. His coach told him, “If you aren’t hurting, you aren’t running hard enough.”

I must be running real hard, coz I’m hurting big time =P

Managed to solve this big blunder I made on the antique AS400 system. PHEW! So glad the difference has been reconciled. I won’t want to get bee lan into trouble due to my mistake. Going through 1000+ lines on the excel spreadsheet can really get someone cross eyed!

Ct has been reminding me that I have consolidation of accounts to be done. I haven’t got around reading the reference book till now. i got to finish the report on 21st Dec and I haven’t got much a clue how I’m going to get it done. =S

I’m tired mentally. I can’t think about the accruals problem. I’m so tired I don’t even feel like eating. Eating is a chore.

The thought of going home is the only thing worth looking forward to, at least for now.

SCSM PB

dearie and i both did our pb marathon times: 3:44 and 4:28.

i'm really proud of my dearie, doing better than last year despite the cramp. i'm sure he can break the 3:35 barrier in his next marathon. =)

i'm really thankful for dearie who always pushes me on and also sham who has shared with me alot of invaluable training tips and the programme he passed to me. i'm seeing all the pain paying off and i want to continue to push on.

for me i finished the run with a foot sprain/strain. not to sure which one it is but i experienced a sharp pain on the outer side of my left foot when i reached the 30km mark. it's been hurting since then and this morning i discovered a bruise over that area. i really want to start training for the ultra soon...so i hope i'll recover in another 1-2days' time.

apart from the foot injury, i have suffered alot of abrasion from the waist pouch. remember how it left my sugoi top all scruffy? now my tummy and back area are scruffed up by it too =(

on top of scruffs and sprain, i've lost my naval ring too. the nice star dropped off during i-don't-know when. sobs. it's a gift from dearie when we were in sabah. sigh. now it's only left with the bar without the star. i lost half of my other titanium naval ring during the balikpapan trip too. i've got no other naval rings left except for the oxidised one.

despite of the pain and loss, this is my running peak period ever since i started distance running 3+ years ago. i hope i'll scale greater heights and push my limits further. i have faith in myself, just like i have faith in dearie. climb on, tricia.

first taste of christmas

i've received my FIRST christmas present yesterday - a UZAP MINI!

i have initially wanted to get it for myself if i did well for my marathon. dearie knew i wanted it and bought it as a christmas gift for me! yay! =D

behold, today

As I conjured my likely plans for 2008 and weighed through the opportunity costs of holding a part time job, I decided to stick with it. Dearie is right, it’s hard to find a boss as flexible as walter and I’m thankful for it. No doubt I do find the work getting a little mundane but as I really want to earn that extra, so I have to hang on. As I see dearie working so hard with his free lance projects, I find a need to keep up as well. We share the burden of building our family together. It’s a shared responsibility. And a burden halved definitely eases out stress on just one. Hence, I’ll continue to work at rl for 2008, until I really tak boleh tahan.

The recent drowning of Singaporean dragonboaters is really heart wrenching. It reminded me..

- how I used to love kayaking in the sea. Being in the ocean made me feel small, I found solitary in its majestic vastness. Nonetheless, in its greatness, lives had been and are constantly being engulfed.
- How I almost drowned the first time I swam in the open water during a sprint race. I hyperventilated and fear paralysed me. I tried to imagine how the dragonboaters could have been caught by shock of the sudden capsize. They were washed by the current underneath the pontoon after a sudden wave caused them to hit it. Under currents can be really strong, even if the water surface seems calm. Without gasping a breath before capsize would mean an even smaller chance of survival. Imagine hyperventilating from fear and not being able to reach out for air because a pontoon was on top of them. Water fills their lungs and the cause of death – drowning.
- Life and its frailty. Treasure your loved ones now. Say how much you love them today. Do not wait till tomorrow. for you won’t know what beholds tomorrow.

creamy oats

+

how i told you guys how yummy when you marry both of these together? slurpo!

rainbow after the rain

I was hopeful though I kept repeating to myself that there was much a possibility I might not get through. Rejection hit me hard in the face and it felt like a stumble on a trail run. Dearie stretched out his arms and cradled me. In those arms there was comfort and strength. He’s probably an angel sent by God =)

And so, no mba for me as the university commented i lacked the relevant working experience. For a moment, I regretted detouring into social work for the 2 years 8 months. However, in retrospection, if I hadn’t got into social work, I won’t have known Christin, a friend whom I hold close to my heart. And most of all, I won’t have known dearie, as I could not have gone into triathlons and racing if I had opted to stay in the finance line from the start. Indeed, God let things happen for a reason; and for every decision we make, there’s a consequence we have to bear.

Perhaps the rejection is a blessing in disguise. Dearie and I are very interested to do a marathon in Australia..or perhaps an ironman; although swimming in the open sea isn’t something I looked forward to.

It’s alright I tell myself, there are other things to pursue in place of the mba. Meantime, I reckon gathering relevant experience is the top of the list priority. To do well in my job, to get a good appraisal and most importantly, to yield a good BONUS! (a pay raise would be good-to-have).

The monotony of work at RL is gradually setting in. It gets pretty mundane at times. The only thing that keeps me going on is the money. What a carnal cause. Dearie asked me to consider dropping the job come 2008 but the extra monthly allowance which I can save is something I can’t bear to give up.

Assuming I earn $400 from it per month. That’s equivalent to $400/$7.50 = 53.33hrs. Per day i work from 11am to 8.30pm that’ll be 8.5hrs (minus 1hr break). Per weekend (2days) I’ll clock 17hrs. 53.33hrs/17hrs that’ll mean I need to work 3 out of the usual 4-5weekends per month.

Working at rl has greater opportunity costs these days, especially when I have to drag myself more often. Sometimes dearie would stay around to keep me company. Having him around alleviates my spirit.

Albeit gray clouds harrowing my skies, I know there’ll be a rainbow after the rain. And in the rain, I know dearie will be holding the umbrella to shelter me through it. =)

dentist says..

saw the dentist yesterday and she said i haven't been brushing my teeth properly (that's why all the decays) and she wants me floss my teeth everyday.

dentist: do you floss your teeth?

me: sometimes..erm..only when something gets stuck.

dentist: i want you to start flossing e-very-day.

me: gulps. o.k.

- me thinks. haha. i'm still with the same box of floss for the past 3-4years. now that explains how often i floss- sniggles-

lesson on trust

I learnt a valuable lesson on trust. IN had once forewarned me to be careful of my words and what I divulge to my fellow colleagues. During the week, she had gotten a hard hit by some because of a slip. It was really painful as she had so little time to react to the entire matter. It was really unfair as she was not totally at fault, cornered by two with a big tag of “urgent”, she was somewhat hard pressed. As I shared with dearie, indeed there is no one to trust at work, I can cajole around at surface but I must be careful not to go too much into my own life. I won’t know when the entire office would know of it. Some things would spread like bon fire and you’ll soon have people talking behind your back. There are only 3 persons in my life I trust with all my heart – dearie, mummy and christin. These are my confidantes whom I can share my inner most, whine my hearts out and still know they will always be by my side.

scent of a prince

And another “first time”, I bought dearie a bottle of perfume too! I first smelled it on the Men’s Health magazine Sham brought to RL. I thought it’s a refreshing scent for men, without that huskiness most men’s perfume has. I hope he likes it and would use it.

Dearie gave me a gift in return too. When I landed at changi airport yesterday, I was received with the warmest hug I’ve had in many days. Seeing him was the best gift and having the rest of the day to relax together just made it all complete. =)

scent of a princess

First time in my life, I bought a bottle of perfume for myself. Have always thought perfumes are too much a luxurious item for me to afford; usually I’ll just use my mum’s or pick up sample vials from her. I have received perfumes for present a few times, at 26 years of age, this is the first time I wanted to pamper myself with one. I thought I probably won’t have many chances to travel, so I better buy one since I’m back from a trip.

I simply love the sweet smell, pink box and glitters in the perfume. I feel like a princess with it! Haha! It does smell a lot sweeter because I bought it with my own hard earned money. Sweet scent of achievement.

sunroof experience

I’ll be traveling to Balikpapan to meet up with leadertread’s bosses and PTCP people next week. Personally it’s like a sunroof in my job scope which is allowing me to pop my head up to look what is going on. I really appreciate the opportunity and though I’ll miss my dearie for those few days, it’s heartening how dearie is fully supportive of it. My mum is happy to hear that I’ll be getting a chance to travel on job as well, reminding me not to bring a backpack as it’s too “un-exec”. My only grouse of the “wheel-around-bag” is its lack in capacity. I might just end up with a backpack anyway, in case my mum can’t find me a wheely bag.

From what I’ve gathered so far, Balikpapan sounds like a boring town; people who would visit the place are usually there for business. Things are more expensive than Jakarta as it caters a lot to wealthy businessmen who don’t mind paying more and won’t bother to haggle with prices. I’m unsure how much rupiah (not rupees, dearie corrected me on this as he told me I’m going Indonesia not India =P) to prepare as I don’t want to be stuck with too much rupiah unspent at the end of the trip. I’ll just be getting the peanut snack for my mummy and the layered cake for dearie. Would S$50 (Rup315,000) be sufficient?

I’ll go off on Monday morning and back on Wednesday afternoon. It’s a short trip and a good break from normal work routine.

I find myself running stronger these days; despite all the soreness and pain I’ve experienced through days of hard training, it’s all paying off in many ways more than one. I’m still a lot slower than dearie, but I hope to narrow the gap gradually.

This week’s training is jam packed and I hope the rain won’t spoil our plans. I think most people into sports hate rain.. unless I’m on the lazy day off slacking at home, perhaps then, rain would be ideal. Meantime, rain rain, go away!

rich tai tai splurge

either one of these of be something i'll splurge on if my dad owns a gold mine.

4gb? no way! it has to be the 8gb one! =P

but honestly, i just need a reliable player to run with. =)

shuffle in red

dearie says shuffle is gd because there's no display to complicate things. i like the one in red!

if i get a good performance bonus in apr 08, i'll buy one for myself! =D

creative, sucks.

this little guy has failed me miserably.

no more CREATIVE mp3s for me. i think a cheapo china/taiwan oem made would probably be better than this.

now i've got to find time to head down to the service counter at marina to get this idiot thing fixed. ARGH!

mind over matter

Mind over matter. I believe in this so much I kept telling myself pain on my back didn’t exist as I ran on. With each step that landed, I felt the pain on my back. I nearly teared because for a second I felt it was too much to bear. I could have threw in the towel and stopped but I just wanted to complete what I started. I’ve ended too many things in my life prematurely that caused so much regrets; I don’t want to fail myself one more time over again.

I pushed through the 35km in 4 hours; not an impressive time to boast but I’m just glad I completed it - most importantly, I did not concede to surrender.

The Nathan pouch came in real handy (although it left a lot of scruffs on my NEW sugoi running top which I am still heart broken about), as by tightening it to add pressure on my back, relieved the pain.

Seeing dearie turn back towards me was like seeing an angel from heaven. He ran with me for a good stretch and having him beside me made more determined to finish the run.

I ate really a lot for yesterday, and I’m starting today afresh. No more junk for the next few days until I go to Malaysia. Got to do more training along the week before I pig out too!

Still want to go for tomorrow’s velocity run and I’ll definitely be much slower. Maybe I can run with the ladies and just enjoy a nice chit chat along the way. No slacking for training as SCSM is fast approaching. With the 35km under my belt, I’m pretty confident of braving through scsm and ultra. The trail training also helped a lot in terms of preparing dearie and I for trailblazers.

I’ve decided to sacrifice the phoenix for the trailblazers. It has really served me well and I feel the best way to honour it is to let it “die in battlefield”. That was how my rider ended its walk with me last year. I ran the trailblazers and I buried it in the pile at genting. That’s a much better fate than the inspire which got tossed down the chute by dearie because it became too painful to run in.

Did I mention the north face shoes gave me 2 huge blisters. Ouch ouch ouch. I was cursing and swearing over the shoes over the 4hrs run yesterday. It was either the shoes or the injinji socks. Argh! Worse than wearing heels!

Really looking forward for Thursday to come. There’s so much awaiting. Popiah, chin siew noodles, genting climbing, trailblazers, KL yong tou foo and SHOPPING! I’m planning for some light circuit training during my holiday in Malaysia. Eat must burn off! Holiday here WE COME!!!

the pain of running

I am fighting hard against zzz monster today. Nearly overcomed by it a few times, gulping down mouthful of tea and rubbing medicated oil on my forehead are some of the many ways I’m resorting to.

Real run was held yesterday under the sultry sun at changi. The weather was the toughest part of the 15km run but holding through it gave a great sense of achievement.

I’m finally able to catch up with Isabel. Our timings were almost similar, let’s wait for the final chip time to be released to find out who was faster.

i was in a pretty good shape to do the run; clearing my bowels as planned in the morning, speed trainings with dearie helped tremendously. I managed a time of 1:29 according to my own stop watch. It’s a personal best, as compared to the 1:33 I did for Pacesetters 15km. but honestly, pacesetters’ run was far tougher than the real run.. being able to clock 1:33 to me was an achievement, which I couldn’t have done so if not for dearie who ran beside me. in fact, I felt I put in more effort during the pacesetter’s run than real run, because running beside dearie who is a much faster runner, added pressure to me that I must try to keep up. (actually not keep up, just keep pace. I could never keep up with dearie’s pace =P)

Along the run I kept craning my head out to the other side of the road; where runners u-turn and head off for the return route. I know if dearie was there at the run, he would have been one of those who are in the return route that moment.. and I would definitely call out to him and cheer him on. It was a pretty lonely run that morning, but I’m glad I caught up with Isabel before the 10km mark and we pressed on together till the finishing line.

I shall continue to work on my interval trainings and add on more circuit trainings too, despite the pain of going through them. Indeed, no pain no gain.

I gave the Asics Gel Hyperspeed a miss, although I was telling myself before the start of the run that if I break the 1:30 mark I would reward myself with it. Both dearie and I love this pair of shoes, but after I processed how dearie reasoned if he would get the shoes himself or not, I decided to follow suit and not get it too. I concluded, if I’m fast, no matter what shoes I wear, I’ll still be fast. Moreover, the hyperspeed doesn’t provide me with stability, hence if given a choice, the NB one which I layed my eyes on last week would be a better option.

Next run would be the 35km at macrit. Wish me luck because I’ll have to work at 1pm after that, it’ll be even more tiring than today I reckon. I won’t be able to take leave as I’ll have to rush my budget reports then. =S

Pain. It’s good sometimes to feel pain. Train till it’s painful, because the pain would often makes you stronger.

training high

Pretty satisfied with training progress this week. yesterday’s tempo run was the most trying as I’ve pushed myself pretty hard on wed’s 400m sets and Tuesday I’ve also put in at least 90% effort in the 10km run. My legs were pretty sore yesterday when I headed out to meet dearie at the stadium. Nonetheless, as I visualized dearie there at the stadium, waiting for me to come, and I know he’ll run with me through the sets, that kept my legs going. When I got there, I still tried my best to push at least 80% in my 3 tempo sets. 10mins – 2 mins recovery, 5mins – 1 min recovery and the last set, 10mins – 2 mins recovery again. I managed to finish 4 ½ laps for the 1st set and averaged out the same to complete almost 2 ½ laps in the 2nd set. I only managed 4 laps in the last set but I’m glad overall I did 11laps in the 25mins. I added another 2.4km at recovery pace to close the night’s training, adding to the 3km to get to the stadium, I totaled almost 10km. (average pace is about 13min 35s for 2.4km)

Although I was dead beat when I finally got home, it was really satisfying when I reviewed my log and saw 33km in 3 days consecutively. It’s a small achievement for me. dearie commented that my training method was wrong as I should not be running hard for all 3 days, and I do not deny it’s not the optimal way as well. However, given the time constraint, it ended in this awry way this week. I shouldn’t have pushed on wed but I wanted to add some fun into running on the track. It can get really boring just running loops in the stadium, so the interval 400m really helped me get my mind off just counting 1-25laps..instead I could just concentrate on sets of 400m sprints and recovery..

We both had whey after dinner yesterday and I feel it helps tremendously in recovery. My legs aren’t aching at all and I'm all ready to take on gym training tonight! I would want to clock another 6-7km on the treadmill and elliptical machines but usually these machines take a long time. I only have 1.5hrs so I’ve got to utilize every minute wisely. Why 1.5hrs? because parking is expensive. 50cents for every 0.5hrs so we’re paying $1.50 just to park the car there to do gym! There’s no cheaper alternative as we both like the jurong west gym. Cck gym has limited machines and i don’t think I’ll want to pay $2.50 to go to a sparsely equipped gym.

Dearie will teach me some good methods to train my abs tonight. I can’t wait to get some washboard abs! =P

I’ll give real run a miss for some reasons. 1. RL hasn’t managed to get dearie a slot despite we’ve submitted our names to both RLF and RLN. 2. it’s too inconvenient to get to changi and out from changi to RLF on time to start work at 11am. They’ll be closing the road till 10am..and they are only providing shuttle buses from 10am. I can imagine throngs of people struggling to get onto the bus and the crazy congestion which is most likely to occur. If I’m not working, probably I’ll just waste half a day there.. but I’ve got part time work so that’ll be too rush.

Instead, if I don’t oversleep, I’ll do a 25km run down to RLF. That’ll make up really good mileage for the 35km progressive run next week. probably it’ll be the best gauge to see if I should go for the 35km run in the first place. =)

So much for the training updates. Tomorrow will be mike’s big day. Mike’s my cousin who’s into outdoor adventure. Dearie will be helping mummy with the noon catering (thank you dearie!!). while I’ve got to be at RLN for meeting at 9am. (booo!) I’ll finish RLF at 6pm then rush off to mum’s shop to get ready for the dinner at 730pm. I think I’m in good fitness physique so there’ll be no reason for my relatives to pinch my fats and comment I’ve put on weight again.

I’ll remember to bring the dslr so I can snap photos with dearie and mummy. Last week we brought the dslr but left it in the boot, only realized at the dinner table that we had forgotten about it. If only we had a compact camera!!! (Argh!) I was telling dearie if the camera was small enough to go into my bag then we won’t have forgotten about it. =( sigh. It’s ok, I hope we both save enough to get the Olympus so we would have a camera with us all the time! yay!

Haha I’m still on a training high. All the way for dearie and I! all the way till the ultra in dec! that’s the big race for the year! 70km for dearie, 60km for me? gambatte!

staying strong

City rat is sick. I hope he gets well soon. Please stay strong, things will definitely get better.

I couldn’t push myself to finish the entire 1.5km swim on sat. I gave up after 750m but I ran the 10km anyways. Enjoyed the run, but it was the swim I couldn’t stand.

After the bi, raving up my engine to continue training seems arduous. I need to clock good mileage for the upcoming runs. Have to do it, have to do it! Hope the weather holds though, it’s been raining pretty often these days.

I’ve gone down to get submit my application forms for the course. It’ll take 4 weeks before the university would get back to me. Meantime, I’m crossing my fingers, hoping for the best. I do hope I’ll get into the programme!

We’ve all got to stay strong..and get stronger. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. When the going gets rough, the rough will make us stronger.

journey on

It has been an itch, an urge rather, that’s been nagging for far too long. One I cannot deny its presence, one that I must do something about.

It used to be IM IM IM..all I ever wanted to achieve in my life was to complete the IM. Then one day, I had an accident on the trail and that turned my life around.

It used to be I just want to work and be merry about it. Pay wasn’t important. Wasting my qualification? Who cared. Until one day, reality struck me. Is pay really not that important in this mercenary world? Can I still be merry when I’m paid like an A level student and made to fold flyers all the time?

I woke up and told myself I will waste no more time. I must save and build a future of concrete and bricks. No more “I can live on air” ideology.

CT gave me a push today and told me to grasp onto my life and make something out of it. Rather spending 3 years plodding and come out of it still aimless, why not invest 30k, 2-3 years and come out of it sure about my life and finding direction of what I really want to do.

There are a lot of roads that lead to rome. And different locations require us to take different routes. In my case, I know I must study, just that I’ve been procrastinating for far too long, scrutinized at all the advices i've gathered along. Too many perspectives, too much wisdom, every one simply made so much sense from their own context. None is wrong, all had their wisdom and their advices came from their experience in life. Just that as I gathered more, the more clouded my thoughts become; all of a sudden, I’m really not sure what I want nor could I see where I wanted to head towards.

CT told me to be sure of what I want and go for it. Procrastination doesn’t kill but it brings regret some times. I was really fearful of putting my foot out to the wrong step and end up walking another 2-3years of wasted journey. Nonetheless, if I never stepped out, I would be standing on the same spot for the next 2-3years. The journey out would not be a waste if I knew how to chart my way, looking at the compass, to ensure I reach my destination.

And yes, the journey will begin in Jan 2008. I am looking forward to it, notwithstanding the rants that’ll definitely come along too. Haha. No pain, no gain.

shopping and chocolates

Tuition is really no easy job. The decision to give up on the assignment didn’t come easy but weighing what I had to juggle at present and whether an add-on would jeopardize whatever is in equilibrium right now, I think I made a rational decision.

Mean time, I’ll just stick to RL as it’s still a stable job to hold, though sometimes agonizing when the CD player is down. Yawns!

This working week is slightly shortened by half a day on Friday and I’m taking Saturday off from RL as well just to take a break to get some quality training with dearie. after which i reckon we'll laze on the couch and catch a well-deserved show on dvd.

Sunday I’ll be working full but Monday is an off-day for my company. Monday will be spent with my mum as she has wanted to go shopping for a long while. Spending time with her is always a joy just that the shopping part I don’t really enjoy. I hate the feeling of seeing something I like but yet can’t bear to part with the money to buy it. Most of the time I just try to focus on finding pretty things to fit my mum and not think about myself..because once I get sucked into the vain mood, I’ll start to spend like my mum. Going shopping is like opening a Pandora box and exposing myself to all the possible temptations around. Sometimes my mum would even offer to pay for me, which is the last thing I want to happen. Although I’m financially capable of affording things, it's a choice that I would like to save up the money for rainy days than splurge on merely “wants”. There can never be an end to the things we want, so distinguishing between wants and needs is important.

I’m pretty happy with the progress I’ve been making in training. My body is slowly adjusting to the intensity and I need to gradually hit more targets. Perhaps if I do meet my targets, I might just purchase the new running shoes for myself! =) even pets need reward, lest humans!

Ho ho ho..i’ll still get to do the NIE bi, now that the assignment is off. I’m making sure I don’t come in last..brick training! And more brick training!

I need to find out how to recover faster from training as I find myself wearing out before the weekend approaches. It seems that 1 day of rest is not helping much.

Events coming up

20 oct – nie bi
29 oct – nb real run
4 nov – 35km progressive run (gulps!)
11 nov – trailblazers
2 dec – standchart mara
30 dec – ultramara


ah..u know what makes training hard worth it? sinking my teeth into yummy chocolate of which half is shared with my dearie!