little pebble

We were briefed on the economic crunch from ag today. It’s something we are all aware of. Cash flows. Collecting debts. Credit limit. All the measures to ensure good cash flows and minimize write down of debts. The whole economy is down and it affects everyone. Blessed are those who are still in school, as they needn’t come in face with the recession to most extent. Years like these can make or break companies, each step must be made with caution.

Ag reiterated exactly what I mentioned to michelle yesterday, “cash is King”. Haha. I have potential of a finance director! =P

I perused into how the economic crunch is impacting on us. Our exposure of risk in relation to investment is fairly minimal. Our investments are mainly on long term plans, which though may not yield us an attractive return, but risks are low. On the other side of the coin, indirect impact of inflation does hit us straight on. managing our finances to maximize what we are getting out of every dollar becomes something we must be wise on. main financial commitments are fundamental bills everyone incurs. On a whole, it eats into how much we can save..but we will still do fine as long we continue to work. I can sense a pressing need to find means to save more.. as yes, cash is indeed king. In times of uncertainty, the liquidity cash gives is the assurance that lets us sleep in peace at night.

When things hit the bottom of the well, it will bounce back. of course, the next question one would probably ask is, “when?” I shrug as I’m no economist nor financial analyst. From what I’m gathering off papers, most influential persons are saying in the next 1-2 years. we can take comfort that market moves in a cyclical fashion.. a dip will follow with a peak..it goes up and down, up and down..

I thought about how it’ll affect chances of employability if I am to go out there. companies will be conservative in hiring .. packages may not be as attractive as before.. companies will still be hiring, probably more to replacing people who have left.., more than opening new positions due to expansion. Despite all these, I guess if we are gems, companies will still be willing to take us in. hence my aim is to file out my jagged edges and polish myself to become a gem with worth.

Team mates have emailed out on date to meet for assignment. Woohoo. I got to get my butt moving. Need to plan out time and things to cover. I managed to read up 1 chapter of notes yesterday. need to read text. Work on questions. Digest the information. Need time!!

Econs is this week. gear yourself tricia!

I am working hard for a cause. i’m a little worthless pebble but I believe one day I will be a gem, as long as I keep refining and polishing myself! =)

drawing strength

i am hanging on with all the strength I have got till end of this month. ZX’s lessons end yesterday (hooray!!) ..next to count down is toward HS’ on 29/10 and Anna on 30/10. 8 more lessons for HS and 7 more for Anna. Hang on hang on!!

conversing with dearie yesterday made me realize how short this school term is. I commenced the term last week and it’ll end on 22/11/08. there’ll be classes this week, next week I’m free, followed with 2 more weeks of intensives. Following one week of break after the intensives, exams are next in line. though it’s a super pant up term, it also means I get a nice 6 weeks of break till 2009! Duality effect I guess.

I’ve began revising POF yesterday..and I got through 2 chapters of questions in my study guide. I aim to complete the next 2 chapters the next 1-2days. To got through the text book questions..and starting on my assignment 1 soon.

Econs module this weekend..it’ll be a hellish time because swee tin warned me of the short assignment 1 notice. Basically we’ll be given the assignment on Friday night and we have to present it on Sunday morning. I only got Saturday to work on it.. gee! Where is my sloman econs text?

I could sense dearie’s weariness from work, project and tuition yesterday night as we lied in bed. Underneath the blanket I reached out for his hand and held it tight. It was my way of telling him that I am with him and we will go through this together. This is how we draw strength from each other.

new tools

dearie bought me this new calculator on friday night as i required it for my POF class..this little gadget costs him $63!!?!? i can buy 3 scientific calculators with this amount. but it does make life alot easier.. this is one of the 2 calculators approved for cfa..will i take my cfa? i wonder..

this is the pricier version of the one i have..with 5 extra functions.. but costs $99 (gulps) i thought i didn't need the extra functions..until the prof talked about MIRR and i could not find the button on my calculator =( because it was one of 5 extra functions. but anyway..good thing we have EXCEL! everything else which i need is available on Excel! haha..in a way this translates to MIRR will not be tested in exam lor! yayyyyyy...

rest and hanging on

After some good weekends of rest, we were back into the bustling race. I had my first intensive of the term through Friday to Sunday..while dearie had his back to back tution sessions. We were totally exhausted by Sunday late noon..and popped into bed early.

It was great to be back in runfanatics training on sat. although I was slow to finish the 15km..but I was just glad to complete the distance. Looking forward to more runs..want to quickly get back to wed training too.

Facing some difficulties in getting my brain to start moving, despite having the cup of nslo. Caffeine doesn’t quite work its magic on me. =(

Today’s the last lesson for zx as she’ll be sitting for her N levels POA paper tomorrow. wishing her all the best =)

As zx’s lessons come to a close, anna will take over the Monday slot come 13 oct. I find anna an easier student to coach as she’s more open to concepts.

Principles of finance is quite an interesting module to do. intensive was like a pressure cooker though.. I am trying to figure out the calculations and get into the whole flow of things. I’m sitting with 3 other classmates; familiar faces from the last qm module. As we’ll be working in groups of 3, I’ll be forming a group with marilyn and roger (a new student). I’m totally at ease with working with marilyn as I find sparring thoughts with her helps me understand the concepts better. She guided me through qm last term too, which I am really grateful for =)

I may be dropping hs tuition next year as I find that it’s not maximizing my time best. I will be selective in only picking POA students as I find in doing so, I am maximizing returns! Hahaha (look I’m in the finance flow already!) all tuition lesson should end before November so I have 2 months to seek out new POA students for 2009. ideally I will want to take 2 POA students, 2 days a week.. and the rest of the days I want to study and train.

Tahan abit more! We’re hitting the finishing line for this year’s tuition soon. Hang on dearie! hang on tricia!

good wifey incentive

dearie gave me my first good wifey incentive yesterday! =D it pays to be a good wifey..yay! my first step to tai-tai-sm.

some from the photoshoot

our first stop was at the track. this is the place we often trained and running is our passion =)

candid shot!

we were suppose to be appreciating the nature..but we were tugging the little leaf as though we were hoping something would fall from above =P

oh..billy & tricia's signature shots! dearie looks like he has just fallen from the heaven! he's my angel that's for sure =)

good habits

tricia wants to give herself a pat on the back for the good habits. this is to remind myself to keep up with it.

1. brushing teeth after lunch during working weekday - i'm so proud i've been keeping up with this habit for the last 2 weeks. i find my gums gradually turning to coral pink, a good sign that it's recovering from gum problem.

2. light exercises after lunch - it began with stretching during lunch break, has evolved into doing light weights. today i formulated a 10-exercise set which i resolve to do at least 2 sets each noon in the office. i brought the 0.75kg free weights to work on monday and today marks the 3rd day of doing weights. the 10exercise set makes up of 8 arm/shoulder exercises+lunges+squats. i was feeling all warm and broke out a little perspiration after going through 3 sets of it today. knowing 0.75kg is not significantly heavy, i increased the normal 12-15reps to 20-25reps.. aim is to tone than to build.

3. packing lunch to work - we've made through 1 month of eating home cooked lunch. despite my rojak cooking, dearie still eats up every grain of rice everyday. fortunately he's not a picky eater like me. starving myself doesn't work, i realise..my weight doesn't go down by eating just cereal and bread. this wed i weighed myself, i am still 46kg but alot more satiated with wholesome meals these days.=) no crash-dieting for me as i know i'll end up binging more at the end of the day.

4. morning runs - not all runs came to realisation but i manage at least 1 morning run a week. not impressive but still worth commending.. ought to do more!

habits take time to form and get ingrained in us. tricia is driven! jia you!

speckies

there's a need to wear speckies for longer periods of time in a day soon..because i find my eyesight deteriorating fast. i find objects becoming blurry and focusing is much a challenge these days. the term is starting tonight. will need to visit the optometrist in the next few weeks to remedy this problem=(

hiao po speaketh!

Yay..it’s Friday! We leaped 1.5days and advanced to Friday pretty swiftly this week!

I’ll be having class tonight till 10pm.. Principle for Finance.. econs class will be held next week..I do hope the classes turn out ok.. must try not to tire myself too much tonight as I am really looking forward to the Macrit run. I missed out a whole lot of runfanatic training.. like last Sunday, we were totally exhausted on Sunday we skipped training again. I felt really bad and dearie reminded me it’s really a break of trust when I indicated I’ll be there but last minute backed out. this is bad! No more of this, tricia!

Ooh..i’m so in love with the kanebo lunasol series.. must get my hands on it..but first I must finish my l’oreal whitening range first. It’ll take at least 2months to finish them at least.. let’s take stock a little.. remaining skin care yet to be depleted:

1. Clarins toner (since april) – 40% left

2. L’oreal day moisturizer (since end jun) – seems like still quite a lot left

3. L’oreal day sunscreen (since end jun) – same thing..alot left also. Smells like cement. Haha =P

4. L’oreal Face protector (earlier than jun) – this one has spf50..will use this for training. Dad gave me a brand new bottle recently..that means I have 1.5bottles of this.

5. Kanebo clay whitening foam wash (since july) – I am perfectly satisfied with this. Will stick with this for a while.

I’m planning to purchase a set of lunasol at year end during Christmas sale..the festive sale should get me some good deals.. in addition, that’ll be my reward for working hard after receiving my year end bonus! hmm..that’s provided I pass my exams too!

I mustn’t buy it now as I’ll definitely abandon my present ones for lunasol if I own them. Hence I will use up what I have diligently first.. that means I must start applying sunscreen on dearie..for his good! hahaha..

Tricia the hiao-po speaketh!

mirror me

Problem about mid week holiday is it leaves me lethargic the next working day. I came back to office struggling to ignite my engine.

Dearie and I made 4 pairs of earrings ourselves! On Tuesday noon, mummy and I went to the handicraft shop near her shop and I bought the materials required. Upon reaching home the same evening, I began working on them. dearie saw me clumsily fumbling with the pliers, he came over and offered his help. He’s really good with the pliers and cutter.. as he worked steadily through the beads, hooks and rings. I was the design engineer while dearie was the technician! He stringed most if not all the earrings together and the satisfaction from the amateurish attempt was beyond words. =)

Tricia is fast becoming a hiao-po. First I wanted to make my own earrings..then I wanted to make myself pretty. After using the kanebo lunasol samples..i want to upgrade from l’oreal to that.. a part of me still feels it’s unnecessary and a waste of effort..but much of me yearns to bring out the better side of me..after how jesslin literally transformed me, to the point I could not believe what I saw in the mirror.

It made me realize I can be pretty too. It just takes some effort. =)

Dearie has the making of a make up artiste, we were discussing the other day. He’s really good with colours..and make up is all about blending colours! Painting faces!

Not sure if it’s a good thing or not..but because my office is tucked in the far corner of Singapore, and by nature of work, I needn’t meet external vendors nor customers, I’ve become very chin-chai with my dressing to work. I recalled using make up on the first few days of work, only to eventually revert back to the sloppish me for a brief while. Then I picked myself up to look more corporate.. and sometimes a little boring. The daily routine is to get into office. Sit at my workstation. Face the monitor. Leave work at 5pm. That’s about all it ever gets.

Tahan a while more.. the next place I go, will hold more than this. =)

toothy tricia

Ahh yes.. my teeth and gum condition are improving.. I see my gums less red and sore..i haven’t tried biting into ice cream (usually my teeth hurts).. but I feel it getting stronger! Persist tricia..dental health is important.. just like complexion! Imagine I have nice skin but when I smile, I’m tooth-less.. oh my!!

captured moments

Photoshoot’s done! I found it fun and I’m thankful for everyone there on that day who made it such a blast.

-dearie: you look great.. suave and good looking as ever..muaks! thank you for allowing me have the photoshoot..

- mummy & daddy: thank you both for being there..for the lovely flowers..and my dad as back up photographer..delivering the shots to us on the same day! =)

- weeling: thank you for coming and making so much time to help out at the photoshoot.. hee.. it’s so cute seeing you walk here and there with a flash in your hand..and standing behind the umbrella..=)

- jesslin: thank you for making me look so beautiful.. =) you are indeed my first choice mua.

- siew weng: thank you for accommodating to our silly requests..and going the way out to make this photoshoot possible.

We had some shots from dad which we really liked and we’ll post it on shortly. It was pretty funny when we did the signature jumps.. it was just so us.. dearie looked like he had fallen from the sky.. he’s the angel who fell right into my clutches..muhahaha! and he has such nice natural brown hair..how come mine is so black!?

Tomorrow our company is on half day.. that means I’ll get to leave work at 12noon.. meet mum and go shop for earrings stuff and in town..weee!! Wednesday is hari raya holiday, dearie and I are going to macrit to run. I’m making plans of doing a long run..maybe run to aircon road..back perhaps..if possible..plus a bit more. Hope we can clock 20km.. I’ll bring my foot pod probably to measure the distance. Will cook dumpling dinner on wed as I’ve got wanton skin left from yesterday’s dumpling dinner. this time I’ll remember to incorporate spring onion inside the dumplings upon dearie’s request. =)

I am finding so much fulfillment and joy. I found delight in simply looking at dearie dine into the dumplings and enjoying it. looking at my dad’s excitement with the photos and getting them all developed on the same day made me feel special. Spending time discussing with mum which crystal looks well with what earring was just fun! I don’t have to go far to find happiness because it is just beside me all the time. I just have to take the effort to be close to it and I will find bliss.

Having things fall into place gives such sense of satisfaction. Photoshoot went pretty well with all the planning made. Next is the actual day which I will need a lot of help from my parents in law and christin. I’ve made plan to meet up with her for discussion on Wednesday and we will peruse into the details of things. much of the load has been lessened by my parents in law. Mum has helped us source for most of the things we need for the day..and she is a lady with wide contacts! Even the auntie at the shop which sold us the red wedding essentials said my mum managed to rent the houses at a better price than she did! =)

School is starting this Friday..and I’m looking forward to it.. timing is perfect because I’ll finish exams for this term 1 week before my actual day. Tuition will begin to ease starting October.

Oh yes, after how pretty jesslin made me look on Saturday, I find that I ought to start dolling myself a little more these days. First and foremost I must ensure my complexion stays in good form..that will mean I must eat more fruits.. with that checked, next step is having suitable skin care products. I’ve been using the kanebo whitening cleanser and I simply love it. mummy passed me some sample for its toner and moisturizer.. will try it soon. Thirdly, it’s the cosmetic I want to use. Simple lipstick is essential..and I really love the gold coloured lip stick and pink+gold shimmer gloss jesslin used on my lips. Instead of the usual sausage effect I get from my own futile attempts, the gold made my lips look subdued and it controlled it from grabbing too much attention from the rest of my face. I’ll work on it. minimal make up should make me too wayang..but pleasing and sweet to the eye (I hope!).

shooting crew

It’s going to so hilarious on Saturday. We've got quite a crew here as my parents insist on accompanying us for the photoshoot. Dad is worried that siew weng might not do a good job ( I trust him 110%!) and mum is curious what a photoshoot is like..she only had studio shots during her time.. and dad says she wants to take some photos herself too. =D ok..basically my dad says they want to be the calefare for the day..hahaha.. I didn’t have the heart to shut them out of the shoot..even if I did, I believe they would pretend to be in the area and “bump” into us..hahaha =D

They have prepared all the accessories I need for the photoshoot and actual day.. I’ll be picking them up tonight. We have quite a constraint on transportation as we only have 1 car.. dearie will have to do 2 trips to ferry all of us out of lower pierce..sorry about the trouble dearie =(

The locations we have picked are pretty wulu..but perfectly us.. the running track..and trail (lower pierce not really trail but out of macrit, if we run further down we actually reach lower pierce..we’ve ran there a few times. nice nice. Air con road!).. these are places we enjoy running at.. =)

I’m not really for the conventional places for taking photos..i like something “us” .. I am not that bothered if it’s weird..but it’s just US! I got to know my dearie at a duathlon.. sports and training are integral to us..

Oh yes! This Sunday we are finally back into runfanatics action!! Yippee! 15km run at ecp. though I’ll be like at the back of the pack..coz I haven’t ran more than 8km for almost a month..but I just want to train with the gang! =D

the princess speaketh

I took a small step forward yesterday. the episode with the make up artist allowed me a chance to learn from the mistakes I made.

- never jump into conclusion

- sms and prose are not all the time the best form of communication

- clarify and check

- don’t create a fuss until I have clarified and understand the situation

- family and friends are precious

I’m looking forward to the photo shoot on Saturday because I believe we have the Dream Team! =) seems like dearie isn’t really keen for photo taking.. and I do agree it can get stressful because we worry we may not in our best form for the day..and having it captured means we’ll be reminded of it constantly! Nonetheless I feel it’ll be memorable to capture this point in our lives.. for we only live through this once..and having someone to capture it down for remembrance will be a way to retain the least of the days. For the first time in my life I’m getting to be donned in pretty gowns..dress up like a princess..it’s just every girl’s dream!

I was diagnosed with stage 2 gum problem o_O and I’ve been diligently brushing my teeth after lunch..and also using toothpaste recommended by the dentist. In addition, I’m also gargling with Listerine every morning and flossing at night..despite all that, my gums are still blood red (not coral pink)..and still hurting. =( tricia’s worst nightmare: having my teeth all fall off and becoming bo ge (teeth-less!!) got to be more patient…hope to yield results soon..

I’ve brought some art paper to work and I would be commencing to make thank you cardes in the next 1-2days. These cards are for my friends who will be helping us out for the wedding and photoshoot. I want to handmake the cards and pen words to thank them personally. will look around for small tokens too.. truly want to appreciate them and not take them for granted. =) for our parents.. hopefully we get to go Tokyo for honeymoon next year..and I promise I’ll get them all gifts! =)

christine ohuruogu

i was reading business times and i so love this quote made by Christine Ohuruogu, the 400m gold medallist at the recent Beijing Olympics.

“I might not get the best start or be the fastest but if you want to beat me you have to fight me. I will fight to the line and I do not give up.”

runs in the morning

Being able to execute my morning running plans always leave me feeling accomplished, like today.

I found discipline from the air..hahaha..yesterday I stood in the bakery contemplating if I should buy a whole 4 buns of ham/cheese bread or should I just buy 1. as much as I would like to get all 4; economies of scale of buying 4 is more cost-saving.. I visualized myself gobbling all 4 and feeling guilty about it, I stopped short. Finally, I bought just 1 bun for $1 and quickly walked off, in case I succumbed to my weakness for bread.

That’s my first little victory.. over my gluttony self.

Dearie picked me up after tuition and we headed down to mummy’s place to pick up mooncake she had helped me purchase for my mummy-in-law. It’s one BIG box of temptation..gulps..resist! resist!

After we got home, dearie accompanied me for a 8.5km run.. I could sense he was very tired yet he still went with me. thank you dearie. upon getting home, he got onto doing his project. By the time he stopped for the night, it was already 1am o_O

Having turn in earlier.. I managed to get myself out for a 5km run at 5.11am.. it felt awesome! I ought to do it a lot more often.. =) and the next one on the schedule is tomorrow morning. i really want to run more..so I can enjoy good food without guilt. that was my second victory.

Tonight after tuition I’ll finish up all the housework..prepare dinner and hopefully still have time to go for a short 5km run before dearie comes back. =) I’m feeling my tummy flatter already…must keep the momentum going as the photoshoot is next Saturday..i must look at my best.. and pretty =D

and yes..i do need to hit more mileage for scsm.. i'm falling a little short of mileage these days.. back to runfanatics training and mr training soon.. =)

"making" more time

I pondered how I can “make” more time. yes, literally “make” more time.

Having completed my first term in school, i took stock of how I have managed my time and if I’ve been effective. Moving forward, “making” more time is what I’ll strive to do.

How to make more time?

- prioritizing

- cutting down on unproductive activities

- resting and waking up early

Some things I feel I haven’t done well in the last term.

1. I left revision of qm till pretty last minute. Although I did read up the text consistently, I found that I didn’t understand well what I was reading until I worked through the questions. By the time I did work through the questions, I was 3 weeks away from exam. That wasn’t too good a strategy. For the new term, I must ensure that I am working through the questions regularly so that I can clear any doubts early and not leave it till last minute.

2. making notes. I need to make notes as I read, it’s very useful in open book exams.

3. tuition assignments. I was too fast to decide to take up the p4 assignment and now I cannot just dump it off. I should have been more focused on tutoring poa. I was anxious to take up a 2^nd assignment after zx and I didn’t consider how it would affect my own activities. Good thing zx will be taking her n levels soon and that means tuition will halt after which.. so that frees up one day in the week. Anna will have her o levels at end of oct..so after that, another free day too. I wonder if hs’ dad would want to drop my tuition classes. After all, it seems like hs is still not picking up on her Chinese and English. =( on the positive note, if he calls for a stop on tuition, I can reshuffle my tuition come next year. Will be wiser in planning for tuition next year, meantime, I’ll just hold on to the 3 students I have now. hope they can do well..and that’ll be a great track record for my tuition career. =)

Moving forward, in relation to tuition, I am planning to just tutor 2 days in a week. I will only take poa assignments as poa is my pet subject after all. If hs and zx stay on with me, I will just keep to just them. At least I still can attend runfanatics wed training =)

fridays when I’m not in class, it’ll be used for gym sessions! =) Sundays with no class will be dedicated to biking or mr running. Saturdays will be for runfanatics training..argh..i miss training with the group so much!!

other than these activities with priority standing, the rest of the days, I still want to tutor to earn extra income. Dearie’s working very hard and I am going to travel alongside with him.

something I’ve been hoping to execute but I lack the determination and discipline to do so – running in the morning. it’s something challenging for me. and it’s not just about waking up early, sleeping early is also required. Not sure how I can work about this..=(

oh yes, I forgot to comment about my exams.. accounting was pretty alright. I could do the paper..and I hope I can get more than a credit for it. qm was tough..but do-able. After redoing my assignment 2 yesterday, I discovered I have done the same regression question in the exam wrongly. =X but i think I should be able to pass.. I hope to get a credit for it..hope!..i can only hope! (grading: high distinction, distinction, credit, pass, conceded pass, fail..in that order)

hard to lose..weight

I’ve completed all my assignments for the term. Yay! Now it’s down to the compilation of qm assignment and send out before next Monday..and we’re done! I can go for my holiday with this load off my back.

The fc hounded me this morning for her credit limit stuff which I am still not absolutely sure what she wants.. but at least I’ve completed her budget templates and jun conso.. now she wants july and aug before end of the month.. good thing I’ve got more things to do..but I need to fully grasp what she wants first..

There’ll be quite a few holidays coming up..firstly hari raya, followed by deepavali. Not sure if dearie and I can take a break as it’s very close to o levels and we have to be around to coach our students.

My eyesight is deteriorating at a dismaying speed. Objects look more fuzzy these days and I’ve been rubbing my eyes more than I should. I do need to get new lenses done.. because it’s disturbing me.=(

Photoshoot is a stone away and I haven’t lost a single kg. I should be..i ought to..but I am not doing so. I stepped on the scale and tipped at 46.3kg. have been hoping to lose abit more but glutton as I am..i am finding it hard to lose the weight. Ought to be training more after exams but tuition is still an excuse I dish out sometimes. Tonight I’ll run after tuition. And now that I have completed my assignment, I can sleep early and wake up early to run in the morning and then come back to cook packed lunch.

i think I’ll look less ba-zhangish if I can shed another 2-3kgs. Ahhhh..i just want to look good in the photos.. why is it so difficult? =( really want to get back to runfanatics training soon… or just go for long mr runs.. will have to work it into my schedule =)

relief!

Relief relief relief! Joy of joys! I finally completed all my accounting assignments. I’ve emailed out my myob assignment to ms harris..and I’ve completed balanced the last of the manual assignment. I couldn’t have done it without the help of marilyn, my classmate. She has been such a wonderful friend as we discussed and went through the assignments.

I spent half the day in school with her to go through the 2 assignments and then she gave me a short tutorial on qm. I’m so thankful for friends like her who come along to give me a hand. =) thank you marilyn.

After which, I went shopping with mum. as I didn’t have budget for much, I only bought the lingerie I needed for the wedding. My mum bought new clothes and shoes.. and she bought me a new dress and top too. I could see so much joy on her face. On our way walking home, she told me she really enjoyed the time shopping as she had been wanting to do so for a long while.. =) I really do want to keep her company more often with her.. and I will set aside time to do so despite school and tuition. Oh yes, have I told you how good my mum looks in dresses? She’s gorgeous! I can’t pull off dresses like she does..

There was one dress I fancied..but I didn’t buy it as I didn’t want to spend the $50 on it.. mum said it looked kinda plain..but I just like it..very tricia style. Very country..very cute. =P

It’s Friday. Tomorrow’s the qm paper. I’m not feeling confident but I’ll try my best nonetheless. I just hope to earn a credit for the module.

Another hour before knock off.. today has been pretty productive.. finished the budget templates..closed the accounts for the rpr.. and did up the accruals for nsses. I’m leaving the rest of the tasks till next week. on top of work, I wrapped up my 2 accounting assignments.. prepared lesson with Annabelle later.. I’m left with qm to revise.. okok..ending off here. Utilise my last hour at work to study! =D

floaty

I feel a little floaty today. Could it be the nslo I just had in the morning? I read a short story printed off the net for my student and I found myself walk into the world of the author. Maybe it’s the caffeine.

Reading, comparable to running, can be a form of escape from realism at times. haven’t been reading as much as I used to, and gone are the days when I would scour the bookshops just to lay my hands on books highly raved about. These days my plate is full of textbooks and notes.. i do need a dose of fiction badly.

I’ve got a whole lot of gunk up in my mind.. trying to think about the report fc wants.. tuition later..tuition tomorrow..tuition the day after tomorrow..assignments… revision.. a whole big big big lot of stuff spiraling up there.

I noted a few things down..jotted the time and dates into my palm.. I listed my tasks for today..i ticked off 2 since the last 1 hr 15mins..

2^nd day into cooking healthy lunch..i’ve enjoyed the first day of it so far..it kept me satiated till the evening..and the roughage from the brown rice has helped the clearance of bowels pretty much. not sure if dearie is attuned to my kind of weird cooking.. and would it drive him crazy..he’s been a economy rice person for many years… such switch might be nerve wrecking.

Leave has been approved. It’ll be a good break for me. away from the insanity here.

rewarded

It’s Monday once again.. the blu-est day of the week.. haha.. as I retrospected on the weekend that has just passed.. I take pride in it.. because in all simple things, we took joy in doing.. and time was made fruitful because of that.

Dearie bought me an expensive mechanical pencil from popular on Saturday. I’ve been coveting for that nice pointed pencil for quite a while..with my shakula (shakalu, shakila..blah) getting all dirty, its eraser top depleted and the plastic cover broken.. ok..it wasn’t a need..but more like a want. Dearie paid $4.10 for the pencil. a pilot h-325 in transparent colour. Dearie asked me to remember him whenever I used this pencil.

In truth, he is a part of my life and I needn’t things to remind him how integral he is to me. =)

We had dinner at mum’s and dearie was (again) the last man surviving on the dining table; all of us took our leave after taking in our fill. He cleared up the chilli fish head till it was left in bare bones..and he even gobbled down all the sweet potatoes, brinjal..the calefare on the dish..hahha..

Dearie spent almost the entire day at tuition, 3 back to back sessions, from 10am till 4.30pm. it was really crazy and I do hope he doesn’t do it for long term. It’s detrimental to health! I’m already tired after 1 session, imagine 3?!??

i popped by mum’s to go through my accounting assignment, which till date, is unable to balance. Noon time I slacked around, cleaned the house a little and then studied more for QM exam.

i cooked chicken mushroom mee pok for our dinner that night..and oh yes!..before that we did another 8.5km run. Dearie did a total of 17km for the day (8.5km in the morning, 8.5km at evening..while I did 12.5km (4km in the morning, 8.5km in the evening).

Training and eating are like hubby and wifey. We should train hard..then enjoy a nice meal! This is the way to go if you don’t want to get fat..hehahehae

i have submitted leave for this Thursday. Need to meet up with marilyn to go through the accounting assignment. We both agreed it’s quite a waste of time and getting it to balance is as hard as climbing mount kk. Hahaha.. and there is also QM assignment to go through too.

After my final exam on sat, just got to toil another few more days to finish up QM assignment and I’m going off for a break to segamat with dearie. really looking forward to it.. =) these are the rewards for working hard..yay!

note: i stole the photo of pilot pencils from the net..from someone's blog. i don't have all 3 of them! but i am a proud owner of the one circled now..the transparent pilot pencil.

working, hard.

we've been working to our max since the start of the month. dearie and i have took up various tuition assignments.. the main bulk of the burden is on dearie, tutoring for 5 out of 7 days a week.

it's 10.30am now, saturday morning. i've revising for my qm exams next sat, and at 1pm, i'll be going out for tuition..good thing we'll be hitting town for a breather after which.. so that's a nice break.

i missed runfanatic training.. i overslept..and laze really held me back to stay home.. which i felt was a wise choice because i got to do interval training with dearie at the stadium..we had peanut butter waffle after which ..and i can settle down before 10am to start revision. if i've gone to training, i will be spending more than 2hours commuting..and that time is somewhat lost.

i'm still trying to make sense with qm by going through the questions..one by one. i must get a good grasp of it.

i've been reflecting on how i am spending my time now, as compared to the past. somehow, priorities have shifted..and i feel i don't have that much a luxury to just sit back, be merry and do whatever pleases me most. because i now have responsibilities i must shoulder..i have dreams to pursue in my career.. and i yearn to better equip myself for the challenges ahead. it can be quite a struggle sometimes, without the luxury of cash reserves..but working hard for it makes me treasure it more. like dearie casually mentioned this morning while we were bitting into our peanut butter waffles, "young people who strike riches in their early 20s may not know how to treasure it..but if one earns his 1st million at 40 through hard work, the guy will really treasure it." he spoke of it in relation to usain bolt, the world fastest man at present, who was commented by many as arrogant.

these days as i surf through blogs..look at display nicks of younger friends..i find so much of myself in them.. at early 20s, all i wanted to do was ironman. my biggest dream was to cross that finishing line after 3.8km swim, 180km bike and 42km run. that was the ultimate dream i pursue everyday. i trained and trained..spent many hours in the pool, on the roads, in the track.. i woke up wee hours at 4am and biked out..some days i even took leave, just to do 4-6hours bike rides when preparing for it. unfortunately (or fortunately), despite having registered for 3 ironmans, i never gone to one, i never did one nor did i finish one.

i find no shame..though i do not bask in any glory for completing one. because somehow, i've passed that phase of my life to pursue such conquests.

i found no glory in it because so what even if i've done numerous ironmans but do not have money in my pocket? so what even if i achieve a good vo2max or stamina ability yet improverish in my relationships with the people around me?

today i am pursuing my post graduate studies because knowledge is power. i am working very hard, because money is also power. i work 5 days a week and tutor 4 days a week. i spend quality time with my dearie.. we spend time resting at home on weekends and cook our own meals on sunday.. i call my mum during weekdays and have dinner with her on saturdays. this is also time well spent, in pursue of other things in life..which to me for now, overcast ironman dreams.

nonetheless, i must admit, a part which i am still working hard to balance is time for training. i am now forgoing training on wed because of tuition. when the o levels are over, i will reschedule wed rf training back..as tuition will be back to 3 days a week, instead of 4. in addition, because of exams every 2-4 months, i am also missing saturday trainings too. it's a lousy feeling to be out of the runfanatics action..but i understand i can't have the best of everything.

we gain some, we lose some. meantime, whatever pockets of time i can find, i will be out training. and most of the time, weekdays are the hardest because tuition finishes late into the night. however, dearie and i always make up on weekends..we'll go for our mr runs..on rainy days we'll hit the gym..and like this morning, we did interval runs.. running helps me find strength and rejuvenates me all the time. i did 6x800m sets and pushing through the 800m was such a pain but the after effect was accomplishing. no fantastic timing to boast about but i'm glad 5 out of 6 timings are within my expectation of sub 4:15. i managed a 3:59 set by keeping pace with an indian uncle.. i have conjured plans for further 800m training for next week, and also a mr run on sunday if the weather holds fine.

oh yes, and another new thing dearie and i are embarking on..healthy meals.. i've stocked up our fridge with fresh food..chicken, veg and pork..we just need to go get our brown rice and some other stuff from mum...and from next week onwards..we'll be cooking lunches at home and packing them to work. why are we doing that? because:

1. it's healthier. i agree with dearie that food outside are..erm..oily, salty and full of msg. i'm sick of eating bread for lunch and dinner. all the food will be steamed, boil or stir fried in olive oil. sweet!

2. it's more economical. it's good thing dearie's isn't a picky eater like me.. we just need some veg, meat and brown rice everyday.

i really hope this holds through..and since dearie and i are in this together..we can try to keep to it as much as possible... i do need to shed some kgs before the photoshoot and our wedding in nov. gulps! hahahaha .. it's different having someone who is going through it together..just like we're both working hard, together. we train together (at different speeds though)..and we stay healthy together. we're part of each other's life..and that's all that matters =)

uh-oh..better hit back to my books..got to finish a few more topics before i get to relax later. will be back!

over and above

it really means alot having friends to go through tough times with..sometimes it's time like these that binds the hearts of like minded together stronger ..

i processed and thought through the situation after the discussion and sharing. i asked myself what can be done? what should i be doing? if i can't change, then what else should i be doing?

i remember this little excerpt from a poem i thought my children during a character camp once..

" i will bear the things i cannot change, and change the things i can"

somehow after talking it through with dearie, i came to terms that tpl is something i cannot change..and although i cannot do much, i prepare myself mentally for anything she comes up with. from learning her different "patterns" that my friends have encountered, somehow it preps me that if she show her pattern again, i am not caught off guard and i needn't get affected by it. it's like getting vaccination! =) staying level headed and calm is important to stay afloat.

can you remember the last time you swam in a pool or sea? in the sea, the more we struggle, the faster we sink..the only way to keep ourselves afloat is to stay calm and relaxed. our bodies are made to float in water..and we can be over and above the situation.

i remembered a pastor shared once, "difficult people in our lives are Grace Developers".. indeed..we learn that in the toughest times we learn to develop grace =)

i do find ranting and sharing really therepeutic..because i know i am not alone.. life still must go on..and to come to terms and decide what we must do about the situation .. i believe for us, we can choose to be over and above the situation. =)

shady

In discrete, I’ve been reading my text in pdf format and notes are all on A4 pieces of paper. why am I behaving like a thief, all of that just to use my time to study for my upcoming exams? I’ve just been warned against studying in office..but I can’t envisage spending hours surfing the net, playing games..looking at social networking websites. It’s such waste of time! underhand methods, i may call it, but at least I am still getting to use my time to learn and revise my work.

I am tempted to go on leave because I am finding correspondence with her becoming increasingly unbearable. She leaves me emotionless and I’m uninterested, to a large extent, with the “much work” she feels has to be done.

No, I won’t go into some mutiny against her..but it’s a secret insurbordination I habour. Should I plainly put it that she does not earn my respect and nothing she has said thus far gives me any assurance of development under her supervision. Eeks. I forgot, development of her staff is not top on her list. She’s more interested in getting the perfect report.

Revision for the coming paper is still undergoing pretty ok. I’m left with 1 chapter of notes to read. Next is to attempt all the questions, before finally digesting the mock exam papers. I will skim through the “phone book thick” text book for additional reading if time permits.

After the paper on sat, I’m going full steam out for my QM revision. I’m almost done with 1^st round of reading, just got to zoom into the questions and work through them.

Akin to running the final 5km of a marathon, I must pick up and sprint ahead. 2 weeks. I don’t want to look back in regret; not trying my best. on contrary, I want to seize success in this first hurdle and nothing will stop me! =D

Time seemed to slow down during the weekend. it was pure bliss just lazing at home, cooking meals, eating together and taking time to study/do our work. we didn’t need fanciful meals at posh restaurants, good thing dearie mind my no-class cooking, and we didn’t have to be a speck in the orchard road crowd because we have most if not all that we need.

Despite the downpour on both days, we managed to do some training! Saturday morning we biked down to spe for runfanatics training but found ourselves being chased by rain along bt timah road. Hurriedly, we made the decision to turn off near sixth avenue and then scrambled in the fastest speed I could make my legs move, heading home. Dearie had to pull me from the front because the headwind was strong and as I haven’t biked in eons, I could not go fast as much as I wished to. The gloomy rain clouds hovered over our heads and drizzled through the way. lucky, we must proclaim, because we escaped the heavy downpour by the minute. The moment we stepped into home, we heard the torrential rain fall from the sky. Gulps!

We rested at home and had some noodles and fried fillet for lunch before leaving for gym in the evening. We gymed 1.5hrs to burn some fats, and then came home for dinner. menu for the night: macaroni tuna salad. It was quite a mess of stuff but I think it filled our tummies fine.

Sunday morning we dragged ourselves to MR and did about 14km down to air-con road and back. we started slightly late as we had much problem getting inertia to move..however I’m glad we got there and ran the distance. I struggled badly through the distance but I held through. (yay!) Seriously need to get more mileage into my weeks because I found my stamina has deteriorated substantially.

After the grueling training (for me), we went to Queensway for a nice lunch before heading to shop around for dearie’s speckies. We found a really nice pair of oakley’s dicota 4.0 but the price tag was one that made swallowing hard. i got to try a pair of women’s Oakley coto 4.0 and I now understand why oakleys cost so much. the comfort of wearing it surpasses the current pair I have.

Yet, I simply can’t bear to spend on a pair because it’s $425 for the frame alone!?!? O_o

Therefore, I have decided to dangle this as a carrot for donkey-tricia. If I can clear all 4 modules in this year, I will reward myself with it. something way off my budget but pricey enough as a reward for the good work. if I don’t pass all 4 papers, then I’ve got to kiss my coto goodbye! okok, i'm hitting the books now. it's accounting exam this sat. gambatte tricia!! =)

worthless talk

I hadn’t bore much hope to begin with and I am right to do so because it has proved to be a dishonored cheque after all.

She has told me earlier that I would be put in charge to oversee the consolidation and accounts of the new logistics holding company.

A month of so went pass and I did not hear a single thing about the company. I didn’t even know they changed the name of the company. I didn’t know what went on until today I was forwarded an email to do GST registration paper work. having absolutely no idea of what has been going on. all I could do was to borrow the file from Irene and fill up the information required. Funny, how come the finance executive can’t gather the information herself?

This job holds no meaning and it’s a waste of my time in all ways. But I am only hanging on because I have time to study and I need the bonus to finance my studies.

I will hang till the end of the year. After which I will start searching for a new job. I’ll slowly find something more suitable..i’m still being paid anyway. So that’s the only consolation.

Talk is cheap.

checklists

I can’t seem to identify at which juncture checklists became clockwork in my life. i live by it every day. At start of each morning, I will start with 2 blank pieces of paper (sized ¼ A4) and I would jot down my tasks for the day. One would be for the time in office and the other, my time after work. as I complete each task, I will strike them off and this will go on till I’ve done most if not all that I’ve set out to do.

I’m not sure how others may see of this..but to me I can’t live without it. partly because I’m a forgetful person, hence a checklist serves as a reminder of what is left outstanding to be done.

For now, checklisting is ingrained in me.

bus

i wish i own a bus right now. been mulling over how to transport friends and relatives to the wedding and it's really a big headache.
dearie is right..if we had the money, then it won't be a headache at all. sigh.

i've got new clothes

QM class wasn’t that bad over last weekend. I am slowly seeing more light at the end of the QM tunnel. I just badly need to pull my socks up and revise through the questions.

Got a lot of things at the top of my mind now and I am jotting them onto a piece of paper to make sure I don’t miss any of them.

Weekend was pretty well-spent ..apart from classes, dearie and I got to go kia kia abit. Gotten the super duper late birthday presents for my parents, shirt, socks for dad and a brown bag for mum (as per her request). Dearie paid for the bag and he also blessed me with a new raspberry pink (I adore this color!) jacket and a new top for work.

We got them at the g2 blu sale and the buys were certainly good bargains! =D dearie bought a short sleeve shirt for work too. thank you to dearie for blessing me with new clothes!! muaks!

The shopping wasn’t pretty planned for as our primary objective was to visit the investfair at suntec. It was not as insightful as I thought it would be, hence I think I’ll still have to do my own homework online and check out for FREE workshops that’ll give me more insight.

2 more weeks to accounting exams and I have a tutorial this Wednesday. I’m considering of taking leave come nearer to QM exams..that’s if i can’t find enough time at work..

Relatives gave a disappointing call for our wedding in November. I’m not going to press any of them nor am I going to try please and convince them. If you are coming, I will try my best to arrange transport. Other wise, that’s alright. I will be just good with close friends and family.

this week will be pretty hectic but I’m sooooo looking forward to the weekend. With no classes, that means I can spend sat and sun morning training with Runfanatics and with dearie at mr, respectively.. and then spend the noon studying..and evening to have a good dinner and relax. The thought of a quality weekend is the driving force for now. hang on!

it hurts

Can you imagine closing your grip on the blade of a knife in your hands? the cold blade cuts into your hand and warm blood oozing out that stains the blade?

Work is much like that blade. It cuts me every single day. The blood flows continuously and I don’t know when it will stop.

Where is my breaking point? When am I going to snap, stand out and shout, “stop it! that’s enough.”

For all the courage I have now, I am only muttering it under my breath and in this space. =(

diving into books

Training yesterday ended at almost 10pm..by the time we got home it was nearly 11pm. Climbed into bed at 12am. Gee. I think got to feedback soon that Wednesdays training might have to end a little earlier because training too hard in the mid-week may leave us all drained before end of the work week.

I can’t join Wed training as there’ll be accounting tutorial on the 20^th. That’ll be the last tutorial before exams on the 30^th. I’ve got to grasp the exam format so as to do well. =)

Pretty happy with the way I am picking up my training again..but dearie’s been unwell since last week..hence it pains me whenever he pushes himself to run with me because he knows I want to run. I must nurse him back to health. Tonight I’m going to cook a light mee sua soup dinner for him and tuck him into bed early.

A lot to be done tonight as there’ll be intensive classes from tomorrow till Sunday. Argh. Dr tiong’s classes again. He confuses all of us BIG time. I thought I was the only one lost in the myriad of jargons he used in class..but after checking with my classmates, I realised I am not alone! They too are badly confused by him. He’s a very smart and knowledgeable person, but not that effective a teacher.

Oh yes. Things to do tonight. I’m almost done with the myob assignment. I just need to perk my writeup with more content..which I can do that with more in depth explanation of the ratios. Tomorrow I got to drop off the assignment with mum for checking of the entries. I need to finish up the other assignment soon too.

On my checklist.

1. cook mee sua soup
2. vacuum and mop floor
3. iron clothes
4. do laundry
5. tuck dearie into bed by 1045pm
   

weekend will be really jam packed with training, classes, investfair and getting presents for parents too.

I need to stop procrastinating and start on stats revision now. Only left with 1.5 days to revise whatever dr tiong went through..there’ll be tougher concepts or correlation and regression coming up this weekend and I desperately must grasp the fundamentals first and foremost.

Okok. Diving into the books now. Will update this space soon.. =)

birthday 110808

Yesterday was my birthday =) there wasn’t fanciful celebration but we did have cake – rm 6 banana cake which was pretty yummy. Mum will be baking pandan chiffon cake for me later this morning and I’ll collect it later in the evening after tuition. I told her it’s “tradition” to have pandan cake, as she wasn’t able to bake it yesterday due to the expired tartar powder. Better late than never, “traditions” must be observed! =P okie. I know I’m just being a glutton.

Weekend was spent at segamat and we just feasted like royalties. We had chin siew mee for sat’s breakfast, steam boat for sat’s dinner, lunch on sunday at good world (with steamed live soon hock) and the best was the rendang and bamboo shoots on Sunday night’s dinner. yummmmy! We left on Sunday night feeling all satisfied but a little guilty of all the food gobbled down. Hahaa. It’s ok, training started yesterday.

Dearie’s been sick and I insisted he saw the doctor yesterday. the medication helped to ease the wheezing in his lungs. I hope he recovers soon =)

Like I’ve always done, I want to thank these family and friends who never fail to remember my birthday. Seems to be getting fewer as the years go by..but that’s ok =)

1. dearie (spending time with you is the best gift)
2. mummy (thank you for the yomeishu)
3. daddy (thank you for the very expensive brain tonic)
4. kor (I always love angbow =P)
5. bee lan (thank you for the pretty mugs)
6. janson (thank you for remembering)
7. Joshua (thank you for flooding me with wishes, every year without fail)
8. bimo (you also always remember)
9. Adrian (better late than never)

my sunshine!

he's the sunshine in my life. ^_^

while i was feeling all upset just now, his timely phone call and words brightened up my day. he rationalised the situation with me and told me i have the power to do something about it. but for now i must hang on. hang on for the bonus. hang on to stabilise my studies. hang on to use the time to excel in my course.

thank you dearie.. you've made my day so much better. muaks!

i am sad

I really hate the feeling at work. I hate feeling I am wasting every day of my life here just to warm the chair. I hate the control freak supervisor I’ve got. I hate having nothing to do and I don’t know what I can do about it.

I really dread coming to work, apart from the time I can use to study. I can’t stop that feeling despite how I try to console myself that this is perhaps the only job that’ll pay me to study.

But can you imagine coming to work and whatever work that used to be yours is grabbed away from control freaks? Even work my boss delegates to me specifically, she has to jut her head in and then ask me to send all the hard work to her so that she can forward it out and claim credit. i am only called an executive by name, in fact I am doing nothing. I hate it. I really hate that feeling.

I am so tempted to thrown in my resignation letter and leave, honestly. i want to get out of this place because I feel I really want to learn more things instead of just rolling around this place like a pig waiting to be slain.

Sad thing is I can’t say all that during my interview. I wish I could have honestly expressed all that during my last interview..but I can’t. I can’t say I’ve got a bitchy supervisor. I can’t say I am idling doing nothing. I feel so caught at times. Feeling all emotional now, I really feel like crying whenever I see how pathetic I am fast becoming at work. =(

tired but purposeful

I’ve been feeling tired these days. It’s an accumulation from the long weekend intensive, brought forward and piled up. nonetheless, I feel accomplished because I find purpose in the things I do.

Every lesson I complete I know I’ve just made one mini step nearer to getting my masters. I keep myself going by flashing images of myself wearing the robe and taking graduation with my dearie and family. That keeps me going in my studies.

I am tutoring 3 evenings a week. although 3 tuition sessions only make up 4.5 hours, I have to spend time preparing for them and that consumes time. despite that, I find it helps me in many ways. Teaching POA forces me to revise all the topics and that really beneficial for my accounting module. Teaching the p4 is less relevant but I find that by tutoring I am gaining experience in coaching students. Relishing the idea of lecturing in the future, these are building blocks to that.

With tutoring I earn extra which is helpful. I’ve only received $90 so far..i’ve got 4 more lessons before I get $100 for the p4 and another 2 more lessons to another $180. wow.. I’m such a money face. Haha.

I am learning a lot these days too. Spending time to read enriches me.

Doing assignment with the free time at work utilizes all my time to the max.

Weekends with no classes are invaluable because these are the pockets of time I can catch up with sleep and spend quality time with dearie.

I’m looking at getting some supplements and tonic wine to help me keep me alert during studies and work. after drowning myself with 3 cups of coffee last weekend, I had a terrible tummy upset which was almost like gastric pain. The overdosage of caffeine left me high and light headed. Hence I do want to depend lesser on caffeine and in place find something more natural and herbal to replace.

Some options: yomeishu, benedict dom, gingko biloba and the expensive cordyceps. Will go find out and make use of these to boost my health. =)

no way dead end

I completed the intensives for accounting module and I am now 2 weeks away from the exam. I am hoping to do well for it, hence like dearie mentioned, I am unknowingly giving myself unnecessary pressure. He’s right. I think it’ll be wiser to place more focus and time to work on my stats rather than accounting, because that’s the module I’m more uncertain about.

As a matter of fact, I am now finishing up my last QM question as I am typing this. Ho ho ho..i completed it!

tomorrow I’ve got to meet my team mates for discussion..hence no training for me in the evening..after discussion, around 8pm, I’ll hop down to OG to buy a present for my nephew’s 1^st month birthday. He’s coming 1 month old this 14^th but I’ve yet to even see him yet. =( what a lousy aunt I am. I’ll want to pop by soon and pinch his chubby cheeks! his name is 哲睿..very chim name..it read Zhe Rui. Rui mean clever and shrewd. And Zhe is another word that has similar meaning.

Been reading vivaciously into many articles, papers and notes. I feel like a sponge soaking up a lot of information and I’m taking some time to digest it all. It’s about making sense out of the information and grasping it into ownership. Although sometimes I do feel this feeling of information overload, but when I lift my head up and look at the people around me, I know within that I am building myself up. With every piece of information I digest and grasp, I am moulding myself ready for the greater world out there.

Reading the papers these days can be daunting at times. On some days, the headlines would be all gloom and doom. Economic slowdown. Inflation. Crisis. Stagflation. On certain days, it boosts things like growth and people earning big bucks. Like I was reading old “newspapers” a while ago and as the first page reads economy becoming less rosy, the inner pages read a boom in the recent natas fair sales. The latter actually means people are still spending on luxury goods such as travelling.

With the varied snap shots of the economy, I wonder what is the real picture?

Time to work on my accounting tutorial now. Hope I can finish it on time to drop it off with mum tomorrow so that she has adequate time to check.

Just in case you are wondering why am I so free at work..i am free because I have completed closing for 2 companies. One more company I’ve got to wait for the bank statement to come in before I can do anything. Hence I am free. Nothing much to do. Stagnated at work but growing in knowledge =)

i am still looking for a mentor to work through my research..but i have absolutely no idea where he/she will appear from. i'm not hopeful..but i wish, dream, hope and pray i can actually find one.

fighter

i got this runner's world.. tips from elite runners..this was one of them:

Repeat a Mantra
"I have a lot of different words that I say to myself. One is 'fighter.' I think that and all of a sudden things come into focus for me. Even if I don't speed up, in my mind I calm down. I use my workouts to practice responding to these one-word cues."
—Kara Goucher

good luck fall from sky

I’m glad I woke up for a 5km run this morning. for all the food I’ve gobbled down last night, that’s the least I am doing to atone for it. =P

Have been doing a lot of self learning these days in the office. Being able to utilize my hours to enrich myself leaves me feeling satisfied, although sometimes puzzled with some weird stats theorem I can’t seem to fathom.

Taking autonomy of our learning is paramount in self development. In this environment which the company does not take a pro active role in moulding us, the responsibility is up to ourselves. This work environment works on a plane of equilibrium. If you can stay in that position for many years, people applaud to you. having worked here for 1 year 3 months, understanding the culture has left me wide-eyed. As unagreeable as I am feeling right now, there is little or nothing I can do about it. Time is not right for moving out yet. A caterpillar going through metamorphosis must be patient. Only having been through the process of breaking through the cocoon, will the butterfly be strong enough to take flight.

My point of view of things has shifted significantly through the last 2 years. from looking into just the few months ahead, dearie has opened my eyes to planning into my future and years ahead.

Life used to be, “so long I live today happily, that’s good enough”. To now, “I am hoping to achieve xxx in the next few years”. that’s progress in my view.

From a finance point of view, it’s not just spending today’s money and saving enough for next month. I learn it’s about understanding that money value diminishes and what must we do to invest so that our money grows faster than its shrinking factor.

I am learning and I really hope I can gain a better edge in this.

While walking to my bus pick up point this morning, I asked myself again if I should do up the research paper. Unfortunately, I have no idea who can I approach to be my mentor. My networking circle is so small that I hardly have anyone whom I can approach for help. Boss isn’t all too bothered about staff doing more studies. Supervisor is more interested in managing her reports and systems, rather than people. In this company, I can’t think of anyone to seek help in mentoring me in the research. Mr thong, my lecturer, hasn’t replied at all. I am skeptical to how keen he should be to mentor a student for no charge?!?..when he is commanding a lecture rate of $300/hr.

perhaps it's a no-go sign. if i still can't find someone by end of aug, i will pass on the research. that's not really that important for now perhaps.

can i find more practical working opportunities without leaving this company? leaves me wondering. sigh. i am digging for gold in the neighbourhood park.

Yet again, tricia gazes into the sky, looking for some good luck to fall from the sky.